Order by:
Rating:

Man Becomes Homicidal Maniac after Claiming 'He'd "Kill For a Good Burger"

BIRMINGHAM - Jack Summers decided to eat a Zinger burger at a local KFC restaurant. After being reminded of 'burger' pact, he killed several people. West Mid. Police are looking for hungry, angry guy.

written by Inhopeless, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Study: Fish Oil Doesn't Fix Heart Rhythm Problem

However, study wants to know if anyone has ever tried snake oil?

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Airport Searchers Upset Also!

Lady searcher at airport says that if she hears one more guy remark, "See anything down there you like, let me know!", she will set dogs on him.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Man Ejected From Plane?

Agents eject man from airplane for opting out of 'groin check'...I guess that should be 'airport' but I'm not sure anymore.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

California Closing Down One Day At A Time

CA COURT: Illegal aliens entitled to in-state tuition. Court then closed down for lack of funding.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Look Forward To Walking A Lot

Study: Oil will run out 100 years before new fuels developed if current efforts to develop alternative fuels continue at the same pace.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Dead US Man arrested?

A US man dead since 12 years has been arrested in Mississippi, a miracle! if you can spell Mississippi correctly it's a miracle too!

written by Jaggedone, 15 November 2010
Rating:

New Blood Thinner

Study: New blood thinner works as well as Coumadin. Vampires say they're tired of flossing clogged teeth.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

The Brady Explosion

It was revealed today why Tom Brady of the New England Patriots was so mad during the Pittsburgh game last night. Apparently someone said that he had a Justin Bieber haircut.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

New Orleans Now Even

In his new book, George W. Bush says that Katrina was really bad for New Orleans for a good while until they won that Super Bowl last year!

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Great Google Girth!

Obese Bob sheds third of body weight after spotting his huge stomach on Street View. "Wife told me I was OK. Wait till she sees her ass!"

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

No Retirement Pot!

Third of over-50s have no retirement pot. "We always thought we'd grow some weed in our backyard but now we're not sure."

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Gore Challenges Berries

Freezing fog shrouds countryside as holly crop hints we are in for a harsh winter. However, Al Gore says holly crop doesn't know shit from Shinola!

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Don't Mind Searches

Some people traveling by plane say they like being searched. Sometimes I get back in line if she's attractive", says one.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Hiroshima Won't Go Away

Hiroshima not shy of its atomic bomb legacy but US skinheads say it never happened.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Facebook Changes It's Face

Facebook to revamp its massaging service...that should be 'messaging' service!

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Palin's Reality Show

5 Most Hilarious Moments From Sarah Palin's Reality TV Debut canceled. There was just one.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

New Car Incentives

Fla. dealership offers free AK-47 for truck buyers. A new unmanned drone if you buy a Cadillac!

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

How's That Again?

Colleagues deny Rangel's plea for delay in trial. "Time to play the pecker", say accusers about any prison time.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Gore Still The Friendly Bore!

Al Gore refuses to change position. "It'll be a cold day in hell before I change my mind about global warming."

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Obama On New Trillion Dollar Bill

Republicans in congress say that Obama's photo should be on new trillion-dollar bill. "He's earned it", says Rand Paul in comments on national debt!

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Obama Mistakes On Trip

Newsman who accompanied President Obama on recent trip says that he didn't help things by telling China rep to sit on the back row for photograph!

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Man Loses Seven Stone after Seeing Himself on Google Street View

A man who saw himself on Google Street view was forced to lose weight after hundreds of cars and lorries were using him as a roundabout - and that was on the pavement!

written by IN SEINE, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Now On Life Support!

Latest polls show that ObamaCare has taken a turn for the worse!

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

He Ran 200 Commercials A Day

Millionaire who lost in House race this month says that he didn't stand much chance against Billionaire.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Making A Comeback?

Newspapers readers up to 2% after slow summer on television and internet worms.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Obama Turns Down Flu Shot

President Obama turns down flu shot angering bodyguards. "I'm too big to have the flu", says Nose-Into-Air President.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

New Hazelnut Flavoured Liqueur Doesn't Contain Nuts

Nobody seems quite sure exactly how that works...

written by Skoob1999, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Embarrassing Presidents

President Barack Obama's dancing in Indonesia was pretty embarrassing to many, including George W. Bush. "Of course I did order that pork chop in Tel Aviv!"

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Bush Beat Me To It!

Shocking isn't it? George Bush has actually written a book, 'Decision Points' and you and I haven't. Kind of scary.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Vuvuzela is world's most popular word replacing F++K!

After years and years of topping the word charts the word F++K has now been replaced by vuvuzela, it's loud, horny, and people love having it stuck up their butts, F++K me!

written by Jaggedone, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Into Denial?

Palin denies global warming while sunbathing at home in Alaska.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

A Gut Reaction?

New reality show, "Who's Intestine Will Accept The Parasite" canceled after first episode.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Obermann Fired Again

MSNBC fires Obermann again after wearing "Democrats Are Winners" tee shirt and "GOP Sucks!" tattoo!

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

"Take Heritage & Stuff It!"

UNESCO to Africa: Don't swap heritage for progress just because you want things like clean water and food.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

It's Been Awhile

Veterans Day poll shows that most do not remember when Iraq war started. "There was Desert Storm then Desert Packrat and umm Desert Pete!"

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Knockout Kiss!

Daniel Radcliffe was expecting a tender embrace when it came time to kiss co-star Emma Watson in the new "Harry Potter" film. What he got was a torrid tonsil lashing.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Free Barf Bags #2

Pub provides free barf bags after being sued three times over people sliding in parking lot puke! And yes, those barf bags ARE reusable!

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Pub Supplies Barf Bags

Pub provides free barf bags after being sued three times over people sliding in parking lot puke!

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

$100,000 Study Results Reported

Study: Fish oil doesn't help heart rhythm problem except in fish!

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Nuclear Frolics

Leaders from Iran proudly gather around red button and jokingly pause hand over it!

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

One-Way Ticket

Scientists propose one-way trips to Mars. "You'll be quite a bit older but you will be the first to baldly go where no man has gone before."

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Good Place to Sell Munchies

California potheads say that they'll get in voting line early next time on smoking pot made legal. "If we pass out there, they'll wake us up to vote."

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

PETA Sues Youth

PETA files suit against couple of kids who were places hickory nuts in dog's teeth to crack them so they could eat the kennels....kernels.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Powerful Combination

Cruise Boat Survivors say you haven't tasted SPAM until you eat it with poop in the air.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Energy Drinks Powerful

Popular energy drinks have hidden risks. Young kids who drink them turn into Whirling Dervishes!

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Heart Of Gold.

Cheryl Cole really has a heart of gold. Hearing that Gary Oldmans hairdresser had not worked since he filmed 'Dracula' she called him in to do her hair for Saturday nights X-Factor.

written by Herrdoktorfox, 15 November 2010
Rating:

China Buying Into GM!

Chinese automaker SAIC Motor Corp, makers of the hybrid rickshaw, reaches deal take a stake of about 1 percent in General Motors

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Guinea Youth Clash

Security forces in Guinea clash with hundreds of youths protesting ahead of the announcement of presidential poll results before election.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

China Guv In Every Household

For 30 years the Chinese have only been allowed one child - and now they are only allowed one dog. One family proudly shows off 17 cats.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Youth Leaving Ireland

Irish youth flee Ireland over country going bankrupt. Government threatens to call back 'piper'.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

LIGHTS OUT AT STADIUM DURING NFL GAME

Dallas Cowboys not only beat Giants they knock their lights out!

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Thought Pravada Was Dead

PRAVDA: America conducts subversive activities in friendly territories...unlike noble Russia.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Lame Duck Agenda Fizzles!

Dems' Lame-Duck Agenda Fizzles. Crippled, it leaves the room farting like a whoopee cushion.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Iran Probably Right

Iran: Oil at $100 would not hurt world economy. No one's going to alternative energy!

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

New AARP Calendar Hits The Bathrooms!

Latest Nude AARP Calendars now available! Attention Bulimics!

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Here's The Way To Get Support

Small Nude Protest in Germany brings out ten million supporters!

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Take The Poll

POLL: Are new security screenings affecting your decision to fly? A. Yes, B. No, C. Only if you goose me!

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Advise Obama Not To Run In 2012

Schoen/Caddell: Obama should not seek reelection in 2012. Unless we do another total flip-flop!

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Exorcists Wanted #2

Exorcists wanted: apply to Catholic Church. Especially need one to drive those out of horny priests.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Exorcists Wanted!

Exorcists wanted: apply to Catholic Church! No oddballs, please!

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Stranded Cruise Passengers May Sue!

Cruise passengers endured stench, cold food, music of Barry Manilow!

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

The Little Things Matter

Alaska Airlines adds Portland-Kona flights. Claim they serve the best coffee Kona coffee on any flights.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

It's Those Simpson's Again

Jessica Simpson engaged to former NFLer Johnson. Marge Simpson caught in bed with Brett Favre.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Jessica Simpson Engaged

Jessica Simpson engaged to former NFLer Johnson. "These Simpsons really after those football players", says tabloid.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Saudis Block Facebook

Saudi Arabia blocks Facebook over moral concerns. Facebook blocks Saudi Arabia over terrorists concerns.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Greek Economy Worse Than Thought

Greece sees deficit above target after revisions. May have to sell ancient monuments and writings.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Democrats In Trouble

Pelosi in political purgatory, Dems in turmoil plus Barney Frank hospitalized with massive hemorrhoids!

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Election Official In Spotlight

Alaska elections director thrust into spotlight. Stands there awhile, then slowly goes into an old Bo Jangles number.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Another Toyota Needed Recalling

Police: Faulty Camry likely caused fatal crash. Toyota says it had to be something else, but send family package of money.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Hybrid Buyer's Get Tasers

Fla. dealership offers free AK-47 for truck buyers. Car buyers only to get a Saturday Night Special.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Third Time's The Charm

Qantas plane turns back due to smoke again. Crew find a stowaway with three packs of cigarettes.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Couple Happy To Be Alive!

Couple freed by Somali pirates 'happy to be alive'. Dance and sing the "Bottle of Rum" song!

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Just A Wee Short-A Funds

Ireland confirms budget talks, denies EU bailout plea, gold loans from leprechauns.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Astronomer James Dies

U.S astronomer, Charlton James dies after two-year coma. "All he told us when we found him is that he suddenly saw stars", say family.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

The Wheels Of Justice At It Again

Scientists exhume 1600's Danish astronomer's remains. Suspect foul play.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

NFL's Lew Carpenter Dies

Lew Carpenter, member of 3 NFL title teams, dies. Carpenter will be honored in Giants stadium next weekend with a one minute blackout.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

One-Way Trip To Mars?

Scientists propose one-way trips to Mars. Astronauts propose one-way trip back to his house.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Whistling In The Dark?

Pelosi in political purgatory, Dems in turmoil, President headed back to Asia to dance with kiddies.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Airport Scanner:Beware Of Obese Terrorists!

Obese man taking airport search leads to 35 explosion devices hid in fat folds.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Chinese Students Here

Report: More Chinese students studying in US as families have so many US dollars there that it's a lot cheaper to send them here.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Slower & Slower At Airports

Scanners say one reason airport hand searches slowing everything down is that really fat people have up to 50 crevices and folds.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Man Barks At Scan

San Diego Man Barks at Airport Scan! I'm sorry, that should be "balks".

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Judges Threatened

Social Security judges facing more violent threats. "I'm in a wheelchair and if you turn me down, Your Honor, I'll walk up there and throttle you!"

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

This Should Catch Out West

Fla. dealership offers free AK-47 for truck buyers. But lead and gas is extra.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Free AK-47

Fla. dealership offers free AK-47 for truck buyers. "Will help you to shut up those gabby environmentalists."

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Energy Drinks Dangerous

Popular energy drinks have hidden risks. Talk like chipmunks for hours.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

I Can't Take It (BLAM!)

Popular energy drinks have hidden risks. Could cause you to talk people to death.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Super Twitters

Popular energy drinks have hidden risks as many tens turn into Speedy Gonzales, then crash.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Ann Widdecombe survives another round of Strictly Come Dancing.

Her partner Anton du Beke reveals his secret - he practises for two hours a day with a sack of potatoes.

written by Thibarine, 15 November 2010
Rating:

X Factor's Aiden says "I knew I was going because I saw it on Twitter."

He's not that bothered - he's just won millions on the Nigerian lottery.

written by Thibarine, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Thought For The Day:

Opera. Nope - just don't get it.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Sexual assault on town footbridge

Police say footbridge is 'shaky and traumatised'.

written by pinxit, 15 November 2010
Rating:

'Bureau' revealed to be malicious malware

Thought to be a human who writes 24/7, the Bureau-bot is in fact a virus infecting the site with hundreds of spoofs daily. Administrators said they'd remove it, "but the bug is actually clever."

written by Juvenal Delinquent, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Shock Poll: Justin Bieber fans don't know who Paul McCartney is, much less that he was in a band before Wings

Actually, no shock there.

written by Juvenal Delinquent, 15 November 2010
Rating:

FDA unveils new Fast Food labels

On the heels of their success over cigarette labels, the FDA will now be depicting deceased morbidly obese people on all fast food containers. Next targets: everything else that's bad for you.

written by Juvenal Delinquent, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Bill Clinton joins cast of 'Hangover 2'

Scene shows him drinking alcohol, but not swallowing.

written by Juvenal Delinquent, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Apes flunk Evolutionary Biology

Frustrated teachers across the globe are giving F's to apes in their evolutionary biology classes. "We've given them literally millions of years to pass this damn class", said the teachers.

written by Juvenal Delinquent, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Give me that old time religion

Since the old West of American heritage went New York City and made every where else but here the only thing we had to worry about was cattle rustlers and horse theives? With a horse we never oil ?

written by mancalledhorsemanure, 15 November 2010
Rating:

The Tea Party

Democrats say the Republican Grass Roots Tea Party is out of touch with American values ! My mom pays 50-60 bucks a carton for cigarettes where Mohamod sells his friends it for 15 bucks out the door ?

written by mancalledhorsemanure, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Secret papers reveal Nazis were provided 'Safe Haven' in post-war U.S.

"Goddamned Nazis were supposed to send those documents to the moon", a former intelligence official was quoted as saying.

written by Juvenal Delinquent, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Give US Subamrines to defend US from China !

A Malaysian guy asked a Japanese guy if they could buy some subs from the US from the threat of China. Since everything is now made in China those subs will come in hobby kits from Revell models ?

written by mancalledhorsemanure, 15 November 2010
Rating:

I Spy ?

Saw Obama eating a Green Tea popsicle as he returned to his home town and Budda.What ever happened to guys like Bill Cosby, and Jello Pops, Fat Albert,and Buck Buck number 1 Wierd Harold ?

written by mancalledhorsemanure, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Bush Claims Iran Has Biological WMD Made From Poisonous Fungus

The former president recommended quick action against Iran, saying, "We cannot wait for the final proof, the smoking gun. It could come in the form of a mushroom."

written by Q. William Bacon, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Chinese Quick Builders

A goup of Chinese have built a 15-story building in only six days. Even more astonishing, they did it with Leggos.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
Rating:

Old Episode Found

Long missing Andy Griffith episode where Aunt Bee and Frisco Darling getting it on found in back room at Desilu Productions.

written by Bureau, 15 November 2010
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