Order by:
Rating:

Disabled Cruise Ship Finally Docks in San Diego

A delirious passenger sang a refrain,"Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam.
Lovely spam! Lovely spam!Lovely spam!
Spam spam spam spam!"

written by JAB, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Barack Obama Resigns

Former president hopes latest conciliatory gesture toward Republicans will finally create bipartisan atmosphere.

written by manbrad, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Auctioneer Claims Madoff Boxer Shorts are the Real Thing

Saturday's auction of Madoff's boxers… "are the real deal, we did a DNA on the skid marks in Madoff's boxers," said a spokesman for the auction house.

written by JAB, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Red Steak Seen Over NYC

Now a big red streak appears across sky in NYC. Once again it's called "Condensation trail from a jet", something we just now have seen. I guess that's what closed down 2 airports in China last month.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Farve To Finally Retire!

Brett Favre says that this is truly his last season of playing football: I've had so many licks to the head that I was penalized twice in that game last Sunday for getting in the other team's huddle.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Kirstie Looking To Loose Another 150

Actress Kirstie Alley having lost 30 pounds of late stated that she had finally decided to go to the hospital and "cutting out the middleman".

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Cruise One Big Shiphouse!

Asked about their experiences aboard the stalled Carnival Cruise ship finally tugged in today in San Diego, the passengers stated that at least they got to see "Cape Colon, having a midnight launch".

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

A News Correction

A correction to that earlier news announcement: Adam Lambert did not win three Country Music Awards and as far as we know, Miranda Lambert is not gay.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Obama: Going Through A Bad Patch

President Obama told reporters today that the G20 talks are not going well. "We're on a losing streak. Devalued dollar, GOP running congress and America's Team is 1 and 7!"

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Bollywood & Hollywood united = "LOLLYwood"!

Hollywood & Bollywood have united and are now called "Lollywood", "Lolly" in good old cockney means mega-bucks and that is the first sub-title to be used for our US readers! (get it?)

written by Jaggedone, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Protests For/Against!

Amazon withdrew a digital book called "The Pedophile's Guide to Love & Pleasure" from sale on Thursday but offered no explanation for the move. Some priests & Scout leaders have gone on hunger strike!

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Manson Amazes Guards

Charles Manson continues to amaze guards as one reported that "He was back there levitating and singing "Yellow Submarine" in four-part harmony."

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Pope Still No Saint

he Council of Cardinals put off declaring Pope John Paul II a saint after secret to pulling a quarter out of a child's ear is explained to them.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Eddie Munster In Rehab

Child star who played Eddie Munster in NJ rehab center. Center says they will observe him during the next full moon.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Overseas Doctors in Benefit Fraud Link!

The Lancet reveals that foreign doctors are deliberately misdiagnosing extended family and friends allowing them to claim UK benefits which costs the UK "middle class" £11 billion per year in taxes.

written by iscrivener, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Mortgage Rates Fall Again

Mortgage rates fall to fresh lows this week as house prices continue to drop. "Sure would be a good time to buy", say most. "If only we had jobs."

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Cruise Ship Arrives

The National Transportation Board is investigating the fire that disabled cruise ship and the food to trace the diarrhea outbreak, according to a very ill-looking official who boarded the ship.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

China Inflation At Two-Year High

"The tea service just will not fit in the cupboard any more," says concerned housewife.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Man With Sandwich Board Outside BullRing

BIRMINGHAM - A man standing outside the BullRing shopping centre has a sandwich board, proclaiming "World's End" and "20% Off at Subway"

written by Inhopeless, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Life's A Bitch, Then...

... there's the washing up!

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 11 November 2010
Rating:

No Zombie Makeup Allowed

Fancy dress students told: You're not coming in university bar... your zombie make-up is RACIST! "Now apologize to our brain-loving friends", they are told.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Christmas Canceled

'Christmas canceled': Head tells older pupils 'no nativity this year... you need to concentrate on your studies' Heart shrinks to one-fourth it's size.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Poppy-Burning Muslims Protesters!

Poppy-burning Muslim protesters mar Armistice Day commemorations as millions fall silent to remember war dead. Many in Western world getting pretty sick of this.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Amazone Removes Offensive Book

Amazon removes guide book for pedophiles from Kiddie store in response to widespread outrages. I'm sorry, that should have been 'Kindle'.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Drive-Through Sex Shop!

Sex shop opens drive-thru lanes. Ask customers to please take products home before using them.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

The Cruise Ship, "Old Pukey" Docks!

Powerless cruise ship reaches San Diego harbor. Stench sends those on the dock to hang over rails, just like those aboard!

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Obama AWOL!!

President Obama out of town on Veteran's Day, talking about getting along with enemies who hate the U.S.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Patients Flee Waiting Room!

Doctor sues patient after he ran off people in waiting room by calling funeral director and describing how other patients appeared. "There's 4-5 possibles. Do I get the usual percent?"

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Mom, Your Beards Sticking Me

Woman sues clinic after receiving Hormone Replacement Therapy.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Let's Check That Cold Nose

Shortage of doctors send many patients to ask where their doc went to school, especially those with skeleton of horse in lobby.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

"No See Pelosi!"

Dems pressing Pelosi to step aside! Civil war breaks out among leading Democrats.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

China Buys Part Of GM

DEAL: China to buy stake in GM...the "Chinese Coupe" is already to start producing for US market.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Eddie Munster Hospitalized

Child star who played Eddie Munster in NJ rehab. Could have rabies.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Shuttle On Hold Indifinitely

Cracks found in shuttle fuel tank, not just foam. Also one stowaway and several hundred bedbugs.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Adding Insults To Injury

Powerless cruise ship reaches San Diego harbor. 4500 people will have to endure crowd of bag ladies and winos who will point at them and laugh!

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

G20 Pessimism!

Pessimism pervades as G20 leaders show sharp split with black eyes and bloody noses.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Had Good Training

Old West Point applicant letters being put online including Robert E Lee in 1829. Later the leading general of confederacy fought against superior forces, equipment and still came close to winning.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Clown Wins In Brazil Also!

Grumpy the clown won election in a laugher, getting more votes than any other candidate for Brazil's Congress. Now he has to prove that he can read and write as well as Al Franken.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

King Tut Relics Returned

New York's Met museum to return King Tut relics, saying "We've had enough spooky things happen around here."

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Check The Labels

Chinese father punished for food safety activism. Brought group together when their children poisoned by bad food, he's given 2.5 years for his trouble. These are our new 'friends' from whom we buy.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Need To Blend In

Report: Little risk to war from gays in combat, especially if they'd stop wearing flamboyant uniforms.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Cut Your Salaries In Half Say Public!

Senate budget chairman urges action on deficit. Must cut social security, medicare, etc. No mention of cutting overpaid politicians of stopping overseas freebies.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Old West Point Letters Online

Old West Point applicant letters being put online. Teddy Roosevelt was class 'Bully'!

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Students Crash Party

British PM condemns student rioting at party HQ. "No one invited THEM", says partying lady in underwear.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Michelle In Germany On Taxpayer World Cruise

Michelle Obama visits US troops in Germany. "Now all that costly to US taxpayers", she states. "It's just a hop, skip & jump" from Indonesia."

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

G-20 Split! #2

Pessimism pervades as G20 leaders show sharp split, 9-9 as Italian President out chasing women and US President out dancing with children again.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

G-20 Leaders Split

Pessimism pervades as G20 leaders show sharp split, 7-7 as 6 still out partying!

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

"Did You Like Your Spam?"

Powerless cruise ship nears San Diego harbor, Hundreds on welfare plan to mock passengers as they unload.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Don't Straddle US/Mexican Border

Risks grow for those whose lives straddle border. Could lose their family jewels!

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Student Protesters In Britain

Student protesters storm British PM's party HQ. Throw their own party!

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

We'll Never Get Out Of Debt

Michelle Obama visits US troops in Germany. More money wasted!

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Fraud In Elections A Surprise

Audio recording reveals fraud in Afghan election. "Something we never thought would happen", says UN rep.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Carrots Good Only For The Eater?

Eat a carrot, hurt the economy? "Naaaah, could be, Doc!" Not enough carrots being grown.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

No Early Retirements

Teachers' $500 Billion (and Growing) Pension Problem. May have to teach until they are 70.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

G-20 Off With A Struggle

G20 struggles to find common ground on disputes. For one thing, there seems to be 21 country reps there.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Things Are Locking Up!

US homes lost to foreclosure drops 9 pct in Oct. to only 300,000!

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Desperate Passengers

Powerless cruise ship nears San Diego harbor. Captain orders crew to keep many from jumping overboard and swimming for shore.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

BP: Why Is It Alway OUR Fault?

Regulator: Oil fire may have caused A380 problem. Check to see if it was purchased from BP.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

"New No Man's Land?"

Risks grow for those whose lives straddle border but on the other hand, drugs are a lot easier to get and cheaper.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

5% Change To Healthier Food

Wendy's sells new fries with potato skin, sea salt on a bed of sea weed. 95% reject it.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Whale Of A Tan!

Scientists say radiation leaving whales sunburned. Greenpeace fill tankers full of sunscreen.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Old West Point Records

Nearly 30 years before his March to the Sea laid waste to a large swath of Georgia, William Tecumseh Sherman was deemed a "fine energetic boy but suspected firebug. Burned two buildings here."

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Custer Could Count

Old West Point applicant letters being put online. Before Custer led small group of soldiers to their doom, the letters shoe he wasn't all that bad in math.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Life Decisions 101

Upgrade Your Life: Buy now, or wait? Remember some thinks may be twice the price later if dollar shrinks. Then again, you may need to do without. "It's Sidney or the Bush!"

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Kurds Whey In On Iraq Settlement

Kurd leader welcomes deal on new Iraqi government. "Whatever! Just leave u alone."

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Common Ground?

G20 struggles to find common ground on disputes. Settle for "We're all human beings".

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Riot police storm Hamleys at 6am looking for illegal immigrants.

Terrified cleaners cower among the soft toys, trying to look like teddy bears.

written by Thibarine, 11 November 2010
Rating:

All the money's in China these days, says David Cameron on trade mission to Beijing.

Shares in Wedgwood and Royal Worcester shoot up.

written by Thibarine, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Outsourced jobs coming back from India to America, Obama promises.

New Yorkers can expect up to 50 rupees an hour making clothes for Primark.

written by Thibarine, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Luxury cruise ship stranded in the Pacific receives food drop - 31 tonnes of emergency Spam.

Extra weight delays rescue, ship's captain radios for more Spam.

written by Thibarine, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Indonesian politician "disgusted" by enforced handshake with a woman.

Michelle Obama's hand might as well be her undercarriage, devout cleric says.

written by Thibarine, 11 November 2010
Rating:

X Factor's Katie Waissel reveals the title of her next song choice.

"The Bitch is…Ah sod it, Why Should I Struggle to Remember the Lyrics When You All Hate Me Anyway, You Bunch of Bastards."

written by Thibarine, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Rotterdam police hand out 1000s of marijuana scented scratch cards to help locals identify illegal cannabis farms.

Delighted recipients roll up the cards and smoke them.

written by Thibarine, 11 November 2010
Rating:

X Factor's Katie Waissel keeps forgetting her lyrics because of panic attacks.

This week she will sing "The Bitch is Black".

written by Thibarine, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Bullet-Proof Blouse

A New Orleans woman had a lucky escape when a gang bullet bounced off her bulletproof blouse that is now the latest style in New Orleans.

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
Rating:

Jessie Wouldn't Fool Around

Jesse Ventura says that if he were elected President of the U.S. he would scream his State of the Union Speech at the top of his lungs & point at every country saying, "Take off our debt or disappear!

written by Bureau, 11 November 2010
« Oct 2010 November 2010 Dec 2010 »
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
1st
100
2nd
99
3rd
113
4th
91
5th
112
6th
103
7th
121
8th
87
9th
87
10th
91
11th
76
12th
78
13th
103
14th
96
15th
106
16th
97
17th
120
18th
114
19th
117
20th
102
21st
134
22nd
94
23rd
109
24th
110
25th
141
26th
109
27th
76
28th
120
29th
108
30th
130
 

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