Order by:
Rating:

It's Allen Iverson!

Allen Iverson is perhaps the most high-profile basketball player to ditch the NBA for a team overseas, but he's not the first. Says he got tired of "Alien Invasion" misprints in American newspapers.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

France Upset Over Bomb Attempt

Greece intercepts parcel bomb addressed to Sarkozy! All of France is upset. Either over the attempt or of the failure to carry out the mission.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Driverless Car!

Robot car that drove hundreds of miles by itself was constructed by robots, believe it or not.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Also In Divorce Court

French minister of foreign affairs accused of taking his job literally.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Study A Mess!

British study says alcohol worse for you than chystal meth. So everyone, have some teeth rottening, brain crumbling meth with you dinner tonight instead of a glass of aged wine.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Alcohol: More Harmful Than Heroin

That's it, in a Professor Nutt-shell

written by Nick Hobbs, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Bad Winter On The Way

Solid black woolly worms, corn husks thick and Grandpa's already cuddled up with some fat old woman indicate a bad winter say Weathermen.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

NKorea Has Fire

NKorea-SKorea Exchange Fire At Border! NKorea thanks them as "fire feel warm..GOOD!"

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Laura A Librarian

Laura Bush was once a librarian. She said that George Bush used to come in and 'check her out!'

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Deja Vue

Iranian authorities postpone trial date for U.S. 'hikers,' less than a week before they were due in court. Looks like it's the old 1970's Jimmy Carter Shell Game!

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Yemen Mail Bombs

German official says two Yemen mail bombs contained 300 grams and 400 grams of explosive PETA! I'm sorry, that should have been "PETN".

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

NFL Nutty A Halfway Point

Washington sets down #1 Quarterback, Donovan McNabb for backup with game on the line...the talented Rex Grossman.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Moss Another Loss For Vikings

NFL receiver Randy Moss let go by Minnesota, weeks after being traded to Vikings for third round draft player.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Woods Loses Golf Ranking

Tiger Woods Yields No. 1 Golf Ranking to Lee Westwood. Ranking off golf course not so hot either, say girlfriends!

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Al Sharpton found out at Halloween Party

Al Sharpton went dressed as RuPaul to a Halloween party Sunday in Brooklyn, unfortunately, he was a dead giveaway for Al Sharpton.

written by JAB, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Biden Hiddin' Somewhere

VP Joe Biden spends last campaign day in ... Vermont? Blames GPS system.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Dirty Politics #2

Even Jimmy Carter not watching his mouth. "Every one of those Republicans are bad old meanies! There. I said it and I'm glad!"

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Politics Really Dirty This Time

O'Donnell: TV station 'forgot' to air her campaign ads. I won't forget a lawsuit!

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Rei Sounds Disturbed

REID CLOSE: Opponent is mentally discombubualated! Sulfers from demonics!

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Old 99 Coming Down The Rail!

99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 Weeks of Benefits Set To End. 99 Dems left in their office.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Pope Dismisses Iraq Church Massacre

Yes, they're Coptic Christians, but they still aren't Catholics.

written by manbrad, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Drugs are far healthier than booze, it's a fact!

Junkies Anonymous have declared that taking heroin, cocaine, crack, etc, is far healthier than boozing their reasons being: it takes much shorter (to die), no hangovers and costs the NHS less!

written by Jaggedone, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Cuban Prisoners Exiled

Roman Catholic officials on Monday announced the names of three more Cuban prisoners who have accepted exile in Spain in return for freedom. Thousands of others ask to go with them.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Haiti Facing Hurricane

Haiti scrambles to prepare for feared hurricane hit with zombies stashing away extra brains!

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Sarkozy Escapes Bomb

Greek police intercept parcel bomb addressed to Sarkozy. "They spelled it 'Shawqikozy"

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Volcano Blasts Away

Indonesia volcano shoots new blast; 21 more rumble! Described as "Godzilla With The Shits" by locals!

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Al-Qaida Betrayed

Yemen: Al-Qaida turncoat alerted Saudis to plot. Nicknamed Bashshar Arnold by al-Qaida.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Oh, He Wasn't A Cannibal?

After elections, both sides must repair tattered images, apologize for all the lies and slander before they are sued.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Cat Stevens at 'Rally to Return Sanity' with Jon Stewart

Cat Stevens aka Yusuf Islam after performing at Saturday's Rally answering criticism to his singing claimed, "I had a fur ball."

written by JAB, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Flu-Hit Thatcher Out Of Hospital.

Roofing repairs recommence next week.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 01 November 2010
Rating:

UK Transsexual proves that they are not all just "dumb blondes"!

A UK transsexual has proves to the world that they are not dumb blondes dressed in pink wigs, he (or she) won the UK Scrabble contest and was crowned Miss/Mister Scrabble 2010 both at once, genius!

written by Jaggedone, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Sir Paul McCartney Dedicating Song to Obama

Sir Paul revealed today, "I'm changing 'Hey Jude' to 'Hey Dude' in honor Of President Obama."

written by JAB, 01 November 2010
Rating:

HP Shares Soar

Hewlett Packard shares climbed over 50 % today. A spokesperson was at lost as to why but did admit that ink cartridge sales in the Middle East have skyrocketed recently.

written by JAB, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Chinese Census #2

China goes door-to-door for world's biggest census. Ashed why they didn't simply take total humans on earth and divide by 4?

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Chinese Census Could Take Awhile

China goes door-to-door for world's biggest census. Should end by 2020 and next one.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Man Finds His Lost Soul

Ralph Newbury, Rhinelander, WI, found his lost soul...It was enjoying a Venti Pumpkin Spice Latte at Starbucks on State Street in Madison, WI.

written by UWGB-Beek, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Sarah Palin & Company Ready

Forget Halloween, it's the Tea Party giving President Obama a fright as polls predict a horror show at the mid-terms, led by the Witch!

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Always Be Ready!

The 238-hazard checklist police must fill in before they can leave the station...239 as "check if pants unzipped" added to it.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Wuss In Boots

Claws! Royal Mail refuse to deliver letters to family after their CAT attacks the postman the big wuzz!

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Yemeni Used Stolen Identity

Yemeni mail bombs suspect 'had identity stolen'. So it wasn't 'Martha Stewart' as was first believed.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Walk This Way

Ryanair boss O'Leary warned even talcum power could end up on the banned list people cannot take on planes in the wake of the Yemen bomb plot. Many say they couldn't walk through airport without it.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

The Transgender Murder

'Woman' accused of transgender Tube murder is actually a MAN undergoing a sex change. "It was my first PMS episode."

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Fifth Female Officer Resigns

Now FIFTH female officer at scandal-hit prison resigns after 'having sex with inmate'. Warden finally move Big Dick Donavan to cell in the back.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Let Him Rot There

I'm better off on benefits than doing a job': Man portrayed as a victim of the cuts by BBC actually, REFUSES to work. "Take him off to the graveyard", says Official.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Slip-Sliding Away

New York City man slides out of ninth floor window after applying too much Ky-Jelly.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Tough Love

Parents talks 45-year-old into moving out of the basement and into his own apartment over the garage! "Maybe some day, a new trailer in the back yard, Bubba!"

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Local P Has Big Dreams

Local proctologist has a dream! A dream where he never works on anyone but the stars of Hollywood!

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

No Cheap Foreign Labor

Rand Paul: We must protect our American mimes from cheap foreign mimes who work for less!

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Palin Fires Staffer over Booger

A staffer for Sarah Palin was fired for not telling her she had a booger during her interview with Fox's Chris Wallace. "She normally wipes her nose on her sleeve," said the unidentified staffer.

written by JAB, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Guv. Pushes Pot!

California Governor Schwarzenegger says that medical marijuana is good for your joints!

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

No Longer Allowed To Land

Germany suspends passenger flights from Terrorists Airlines in wake of terrorist threat.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Each Worse Than The Other

STUDY: Alcohol more lethal than heroin OR CRACK! Transfats worse than all three put together. Don't ask about smoking!

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Sex Abuse March!

Police block sex abuse survivors near Vatican but they still heard by large crowd!

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

CBS Pulling For Dems Again!

CBS Affiliate Caught on Voicemail Mocking GOP Senate Candidate. FOX says they are only network being honest.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

We Had Figured That One Out!

September consumer spending weak while incomes dip. Experts say that is probably the key to lack of spending.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Boehner Hit's Obama Term "Enemies"

Boehner hits Obama for 'enemies' speech. We're all Americans here!

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Historic Political Volatility.

Voters in many states say they fear for their lives but will vote anyway.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Tomorrow Night It's Over!

Dems hope to limit losses, political foes in campaign's last hours.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Obama Not Packing Them In Anymore

OBAMA PLAYS TO HALF-FULL HALL IN OHIO! Half of them there to throw shoes!

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Lotsa Bombs Around

World War Two bombs found on Galapagos Islands. Three more bombs found at the movie theaters this weekend, one on Broadway!

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Bombs Discovered!

World War Two bombs found on Galapagos Islands. World War Three bombs found in Rocky Mountains.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

First Gay Kid's Book Award #5

Kids' book prizes to include gay and lesbian award. This year's winner: "Weak End At Bert & Ernie's".

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Howdy Doody Exhibit?

Exhibit delves into life and legend of Howdy Doody...I'm sorry, that should be "Houdini".

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Didn't See Cameras

Philippine actor playing a gunman killed by watchman!

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

New Drug Rejected

FDA rejects highly-anticipated new diet drug, Soonalawsuita.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Supremes To Hear Case

Supreme Court to hear violent video game case where they all get blown away!

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Warning systems often don't help tsunami victims!

"We need alarm systems that go off BEFORE they become victims", says expert.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Clinton urges rights progress in Cambodia !

"Human skulls should not be stacked up but given a decent burial."

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

White House Delays...Weighs Response, If Any

White House weighs response to mail bomb plot. May send unmanned drones to knock on door of bomb makers.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Delay's Trial To Begin...Who's Delay?

Opening arguments set in Tom DeLay's trial as judge says there has been too many delays already.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

"What's UP Doc?"

AP Enterprise: Docs help make pot available in CA. Many begin pilgrimage west.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Terrorist bombers may have targeted aircraft !

Experts come to conclusion after all bomb devices were being shipped by plane!

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Gay Kid's Book Award #4

Kids' book prizes to include gay and lesbian award. This year's winner: Teletubby Tails!

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

China Objects: A Plague On You Too!

Plague came from China: scientists say after 2600 years they have tracked it down.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

New Gay Kids Book Awards

Kids' book prizes to include gay and lesbian award. This year's winner: "Bert & Ernie Make A Split Decision".

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Gay Kid's Book Award #2

Kids' book prizes to include gay and lesbian award. This year's winner: "Bert Cracks Up Ernie".

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Yemen Cracks Down

Yemen cracks down on cargo after parcel bomb plot. "You just don't expect things like that to happen here in the middle east."

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Coming Religious War?

Priests among 37 Christians killed in Iraq hostage drama. Is a religious war on it's way?

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Politics As Usual

In a final appeal for votes, deals are made, money changes hands, rumors spreading fast.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Experts Stoned

Drug experts say alcohol worse than crack or heroin but all three are a real blowout!

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Gay Kid's Book Award

Kids' book prizes to include gay and lesbian award. This year's winner: "Bert & Ernie's Homemade Fudge"

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

"What's Written Up, Doc?"

Attorneys complain about Doc's handwriting, Docs complain about Attorney's law writing. Public can't understand either.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

You Need Pot For Those Freckles!

AP Enterprise: Docs help make pot available to in CA! But will cot you as fee added into every prescription.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Lawyer-Written No Doubt

Warnings abound in enforcing immigration job rules as no one can tell what they mean.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Volcano Blows Again

Indonesian volcano unleashes new powerful eruption. Locals say it's making an ash of itself.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Not Always So!

Analysis: Turbulent times can change elections. That's why President Roosevelt was elected four times during WWII.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

The Turbulent Times Review

Analysis: Turbulent times and change elections so look for change every two years.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Study On Drugs, Paint Thinner

Drug experts say alcohol worse than crack or heroin. Recommend huffing for getting high!

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Free Health Care Costs Billions

Contraception could be free under health care law but having sex to be taxed to pay for it.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Alcohol Lethal #2

Study: Alcohol more lethal than heroin, cocaine. But take one drink and one shot or snort proves findings wrong.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Alcohol Lethal

Study: Alcohol more lethal than heroin, cocaine. Contradicts last week's findings. Next week's findings.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

That's Your Job!

Deal or punt decision on Bush tax cuts is Obama's. But either way would have cost votes, so maybe a decision next week.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Tough Decision Your Job

Deal or punt decision on Bush tax cuts is Obama's as President has sat on the fence until it's rotting out from under him.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Lean & Mean

Why the economy's growth isn't easing unemployment. Many say it's the new lean, mean fewer people doing more work to compete with cheap labor elsewhere.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Growth But High Unemployment

Why the economy's growth isn't easing unemployment? Because there is very little economy growth.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Gaelic Speaker Shortage Revealed

"We can't understand it," says expert.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Thought For The Day:

That Carol Kirkwood on Breakfast weather's a looker, ain't she? Talk about occluded front!

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Two Days Till Election, Fox News Worried

Two Days till the election and Fox News is worried that people will realize that they were wrong about the election and stop listening and watching their news programs.

written by UWGB-Beek, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Trick or Treat Shortened to just 'Treat'

Due to confusion over the meaning of the word "or", and that no one does tricks anymore anyway, the perennial Halloween tradition has been shortened to reflect the fact that kids just want candy.

written by Juvenal Delinquent, 01 November 2010
Rating:

Last family Farm

Last family farm to be disassembled and reassembled in the Smithsonian Institution.

written by Bureau, 01 November 2010
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