Order by:
Rating:

Redo The Whole Thing...Again!

Shrinking US dollar has casinos worried that they will not be accepted in slot machines.

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Berkeley Wants DNA

UC Berkeley Asking Incoming Students For DNA. No big deal, it's just that Ripper going around and everything."

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Campbell Brown Quits CNN Anchor Post

Ratings are what brought her down. "Sandwiched between O'Reilly on the right side and Olbermann on the left, I felt like a big glop of chopped liver right there in the middle."

written by Charpa93, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Environmentalists on Florida's East Coast Say Limbaugh Bigger Threat than Tar Balls

Environmentalists are weighing in on the potential threat tar balls may have on Florida's east coast beaches. They claim the sewage spewing from Limbaugh's home is way more toxic.

written by Charpa93, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Must Control Tea Party

After losing several primaries to the Tea Party candidates, Dems to organize Tupperware Party to contain them.

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

"Granny: My Boobs Will Block My Sight"

Next year's Bear Wallow Quilting Bee to include a swimsuit competition!

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

"Got An Eagle On #8, Par 4!"

Pope Benedict returns today after two-week vacation driving popemobile mostly around golf courses.

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

China Recall

China recalls computer chip as it mistakenly sent out the wrong kind, sour cream & onions.

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Amy Winehouse Pays $1M for Deluxe Flat at London Clinic

Amy Winehouse has purchased a block of rooms at the London Clinic at Mayfair and had them refurbished into a lovely flat, since that is where she spends a fair amount of her time these days anyways.

written by Charpa93, 19 May 2010
Rating:

"I Like Your Suntan, Honey. X Marks The Spot!"

Victoria's Secret introduces a new product for the more shy women on the beach, the cross-over thong.

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

"Here Comes The Big Bad Buck!"

Victoria's Secret introduces new line of "deer scented" bras for lady's married to the outdoor type.

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

MISS USA Popular!

Miss USA's popularity has gone up 50% since film came up where she wins a stripper contest.

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Had Everyone Fooled

The PGA has ruled that Phil Mickelson impersonator must return $400,000 first place win last weekend.

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Next Book Coming Up

Man who ran over Stephen King found dead once again. This time buried under Yucca Mountain.

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

South Expecting Weather

Southeast bracing for another warm summer. "Somehow we always make it through it", says local lad.

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

US Muslims want to build a mosque on Ground Zero site, NY Lunacy!

Plans to build a Mosque next to the Ground Zero site is upsetting some "normal" NYorkers, others, loonies, don't seem to give a damn, especially those wanting to worship there, it's called NY Lunacy!

written by Jaggedone, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Local Man Inherits 100 Billion Dollars From Nigerian Woman

"I just answered an email from some lovely lady that was the former president's sister in-law. Now I'm rich beyond my wildest dreams!", said Dave Snickers.

written by Jesus Budda, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Local Pond Gloob Is Stupid

It was described as 'Ignorant Scum' by some locals.

written by Jesus Budda, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Local Pharaoh loses his Mummy

Little Billy Tutenkahmoun from number 26, the Pyramid, Sphinx Street, has lost his mother.
He is available for collection at the local shopping centre.

written by Jesus Budda, 19 May 2010
Rating:

An Apple a Day keeps the Doctor Away

Little bastards throwing apples from nearby trees have prevented Dr. Sanjeev Babinki from getting to the hospital.

written by Jesus Budda, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Stock Markets Crash

…Bells tinkle and cows moo…

written by Jesus Budda, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Al Qaeda planned to blow up the World Cup, but they failed!

In an attempt to blow up the World Cup Bin Laden and his Al Qaeda was thwarted by one of his own men, he moved the goalposts and they missed the target!

written by Jaggedone, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Non-Crew in Polish crash cockpit

Largely due to the fact that all Polish pilots are currently driving taxis in S.E. England

written by ExiledRoyal, 19 May 2010
Rating:

LA Gang Breaks Up #12

Los Angeles police say that one local gang, The Feeble Fanatics, has given up as they have lost all skirmishes between gangs.

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Wasn't Hu On First?

Poll says that more Americans are learning more about China's leader Hu after his bio was published in "Who's Hu".

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Your Neighborhood Nose

President enlists nation's snitches, tattle tales to keep an eye on their neighborhood and report anything Republican.

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Early Reports

New 2010 early census reports that there are many more "Don't really give a rat's ass anymore" than in the 2000 census.

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Pelosi's New Job

A new version of Hollywood Squares will be coming out next year with Nancy Pelosi in the center square.

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Singer Elvis Costello Refuses to Perform in Israel

"Oy vey, what a schmuck," said one man as Israelites far and wide kvetshed about this latest development.

written by Charpa93, 19 May 2010
Rating:

More Couple's Living Together To Marry?

New tax laws would give married couples a break so that those living together because of being charged more taxes can marry.
Most say that's still not incentive enough.

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Dinsaurs Dying Out!

According to Barney, the dinosaurs did not die out because of a meteor or global warming. "They all just became silly and turned purple"

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Bill Helping For Free

Former US President Bill Clinton told the press yesterday that it is time for him to "give a little bit back" and joins "Volunteers For Clean Hooters Restaurant Areas".

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Finally Taking Responsibility

Several sugary cereals and salty snack makers agree to quit advertising on cartoon shows for kids and switch to "The Old Stoners Network".

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

LA Gang Breaks Up #11

Los Angeles police say that one local gang, The Good- Fellowship Friends Of The Devil Himself, has given up as they have lost all skirmishes between gangs.

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Real Flying Saucers

US Air Force reports that all the recent reports of flying saucers were due to desperate housewives in the area.

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

LA Gang Breaks Up #10

Los Angeles police say that one local gang, Pansy Peckers, has given up as they have lost all skirmishes between gangs.

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

But Cave Could Have Been Used Later

The U.S. military has announced that an unmanned rocket has blown up an unoccupied cave in Afghanistan.

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Remember, We're Here To Help!

Exxon-Mobile Oil says that actions of BP disgraceful and should be boycotted.

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Woman Hides in Coffin to Avoid Arrest

An escaped prisoner was accidentally interred when she found her way into a funeral home and hid in a coffin to avoid arrest

written by emccorm, 19 May 2010
Rating:

LA Gang Breaks Up #9

Los Angeles police say that one local gang, Twinky's Tormenting Turkies, has given up as they have lost all skirmishes between gangs.

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

LA Gang Breaks Up #8

Los Angeles police say that one local gang, The Junktown Twits, has given up as they have lost all skirmishes between gangs.

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

LA Gang Breaks Up #7

Los Angeles police say that one local gang, The Fuckturd Freaks, has given up as they have lost all skirmishes between gangs.

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

LA Gang Breaks Up #6

Los Angeles police say that one local gang, The Humiliated Homeboys, has given up as they have lost all skirmishes between gangs.

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

LA Gang Breaks Up #5

Los Angeles police say that one local gang, Wild Willie's Wussies, has given up as they have lost all skirmishes between gangs.

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

LA Gang Breaks Up #4

Los Angeles police say that one local gang, The Boxed Jocks, has given up as they have lost all skirmishes between gangs.

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

LA Gang Breaks Up #3

Los Angeles police say that one local gang, Percy's Pratts, has given up as they have lost all skirmishes between gangs.

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

LA Gang Breaks Up #2

Los Angeles police say that one local gang, The Einstein Lions, has given up as they have lost all skirmishes between gangs.

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

LA Gang Breaks Up

Los Angeles police say that one local gang, The Porky Dorks, has given up as they have lost all skirmishes between gangs.

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Got Thirsty

25 illegal immigrants found hiding among crates of wine in back of lorry heading for Britain after they began singing.

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Too Much Of A Good Thing?

Guitarist falls ill after taking too much Viagra. "I was a total prick for a solid week."

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Don't Misunderstand

JetBlue to launch Boston-Phoenix nonstop service...except, of course, at Boston and Phoenix.

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Yellowstone Pass Opens

Yellowstone's Dunraven 'Hail Mary' Pass opens this Friday.

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

At Least She Was Free

Journalist says she confessed in N. Korean prison. "I even told Kim I was Daisey Duck's niece."

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Ochocinco Kicked Off!

NFL star Chad Ochocinco kicked off 'Dancing'. Changes his name again, this time to 'Boogie Woogie".

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Cell Phone Study: Inconclusive

Study on cell phone link to cancer inconclusive as guy doing study succumbs to cancer before it is finished.

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

H & R Closes Offices

H&R Block cuts 400 jobs, shuts 400 stores citing over 100,000 bomb threats.

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Could Be Coincidence

Obama endorsements don't seem to help Democrats, say political experts. "That's only going by the fact that every one of them lost."

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Astronauts to aim Giant Asteroid at Gulf of Mexico to Plug Leak!

NASA scientists intend to steer an asteroid the size of New Jersey directly at the Gulf of Mexico to plug the BP oil leak. If it worked 20 million years ago, it will work today.

written by Mr Dovie, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Relish Hot Dogs In Kentucky

Democrats relish Paul's GOP win in Ky. Senate race as yells of "Hot Dog!" fill the air.

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Pa. Senate Race

Senate race in Pa. will be about jobs, economy, too many Philadelphia lawyers.

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Nick Clegg's first policy

Nick Clegg has announced to the country that there will be no more IDs required. Work and Pensions secretary, Ian Duncan Smith is said to be livid.

written by IainB, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Could Turn Out To Be Right

La.'s late bird, the dead pelican, imperiled by oil. I'm sorry, that should be: La.'s state bird, brown pelican, imperiled by oil.

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Not So Secret

Top US security officials meet in secret Pakistan cave find note from Bin Laden.

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Oil Mystery

Scientists trying to figure out why huge oil slick in the Gulf seems to change every 3,000 miles.

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Drastic Measures

President Obama hires Oil Whisperer to try to lead the huge spill out to sea.

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Iran Opposes Sanctions

Proposed Iran sanctions face opposition, especially by Iran!

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Skip The Dog

Skip the Dog and Have Another Burger says health study on ABC News. "Dogs were meant to be pets."

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Now Where Has It Gone

Scientists watching where oil spill headed next although it continues to give them the "slip"!

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Harsh Message #7

Primary Voters Send Harsh Message to Senate Incumbents. "May huge boils grow to the size of horse apples on your ass and smell worse."

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Harsh Message #6

Primary Voters Send Harsh Message to Senate Incumbents. "May ye all go hunting with Dick Cheney this fall."

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

How About Politicians?

Workers asked to return bonuses after 16 years. "Counting interest, you each owe $50,000!"

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Miss USA Controversary

Miss USA controversies storm the blogosphere after films of stripper contest she won ran nearly 1 million times now. "Disgusting", says one twenty-time viewer.

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Harsh Message #5

Primary Voters Send Harsh Message to Senate Incumbents. May ye all choke on your vomit and not one around ye know the Heimlich Maneuver!"

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Harsh Message #4

Primary Voters Send Harsh Message to Senate Incumbents. "May you be taken out and bull-whipped, tarred and feathered."

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Harsh Message #3

Primary Voters Send Harsh Message to Senate Incumbents. "A pox, a huge pox on the lot of ye!"

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Harsh Message #2

Primary Voters Send Harsh Message to Senate Incumbents. "May you all rot in your sleep!"

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Harsh Message

Primary Voters Send Harsh Message to Senate Incumbents. "We hope you all die soon!"

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Whatever!

Voters back anti-DC, anti-establishment, anti-socialistic, antidisestablishmentarianism candidates

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Prime Minister to resign

London, Tuesday. Prime Minister David Cameron will resign the post effective noon tomorrow because he doesn't like living in pokey little hovels such as Number 10. "I grew up in mansions" Cameron said

written by whatinthe world, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Cameron resigning after bad taste left in mouth

New Prime Minister David Cameron will resign from the post tomorrow blaming catering at Number Ten Downing Street for the cause. "The prawn cocktail damn nearly killed me" Cameron said. Corr blimey!

written by whatinthe world, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Cameron has had enough

New Prime Minister David Cameron says he will resign on Friday from the post because he can't stand sitting next to Nick Clegg. "He smells bad" commented Cameron. Has David ever smelt his own body?

written by whatinthe world, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Brown aims high

Former Prime Minister Gordon Brown says he now wants to become President of the United States of America. Not satisfied with his last post, Brown will risk everything to knock off the big job. Huh!

written by whatinthe world, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Man Marries Wasp

George Pimp, 47 married a wasp today at Hume Registry Office, once the Registrar had established that the wasp was female, otherwise it would have had to be a civil partnership.

written by The Medium Cheese, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Gulf Oil Disaster Imperils Oil Company Profits; BP Pundits Puzzled

Barbara Schroeder, national profit coordinator for BP, said that the company was investigating the oil spill - now considered to be the worst in history - intensively, but did not have answers yet.

written by Tragic Rabbit, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Shooting People Taints America's Image

America's habit of invading and then shooting up independent countries, often followed by takeover, profit-mongering & a nice tea, has inexplicably diminished its popularity amoung fellow Earthlings.

written by Tragic Rabbit, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Full Employment Milestone: 1,000 Americans Dead, 1000 Job Openings in US Military

Keeping America alert & willing to support Gestapo-type legislation requires sacrifice from our brave men & women in uniform. They do not die in vain: each death garners votes & opens up one new job.

written by Tragic Rabbit, 19 May 2010
Rating:

U.S. Military Milestone: 1,000 Americans Dead, 250 Million To Go

After receiving alarming reports about insufficient war casualties from his top commander in Afghanistan, President Obama ordered 300,000 more troops into the war, most of whom will be dead by summer.

written by Tragic Rabbit, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Swine Flu Fires Publicist

After leading all news stories last year, the swine flu has been forgotten like "The Weakest Link" In an attempt to reclaim popularity, the virus has fired its publicist.

written by Guy Bellefonte, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Female Boss Does Great Job-for a girl

Little Sally Dunham has grown up and now runs a call center in Phoenix. Her fat ass, bitchy personality and pants suits make her a great boss-for a girl.

written by Guy Bellefonte, 19 May 2010
Rating:

As rare as Asian dwarfism

Go ahead, name one time you ever saw an Asian dwarf

written by Guy Bellefonte, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Millions Late For Work

...when man awarded key to New York City decides to sleep in.

written by Adam Click, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Greece Offers Gift Horse

Greece offers to repay loan from the other EU countries with big wooden horse!

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Miss Arab USA

Arab-Americans delight in Miss USA victory. Then ask for her head after they learn about stripper contest.

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Times Square Bomber

Feds: Times Square bomb suspect to appear in court . "Let's see how big of a man he is without his bombs!", derides Police Chief.

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Palin Hits Circuit

Bristol Palin to hit speakers' circuit. She'll be starting in Bugtussle, Arkansas before ending her tour in Bear Wallow, Kentucky.

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Manhood Screamholler Classic #20

New La Vitra Album by Manhood Screamholler out in July will include their version of old favorites such as "I Found My Dill, With A Little Purple Pill!"

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Manhood Screamholler Classic #19

New La Vitra Album by Manhood Screamholler out in July will include their version of old favorites such as "The Goody Wood Pecker Song"

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Manhood Screamholler Classic #18

New La Vitra Album by Manhood Screamholler out in July will include their version of old favorites such as "The Boney Parts Retreat"

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Manhood Screamholler Classic #17

New La Vitra Album by Manhood Screamholler out in July will include their version of old favorites such as "Up, Up & Away In Our Nippled Balloon"

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
Rating:

Manhood Screamholler Classic #16

New La Vitra Album by Manhood Screamholler out in July will include their version of old favorites such as "One-Eyed, Big Horned Flying Purple Pickle Eater"

written by Bureau, 19 May 2010
« Apr 2010 May 2010 Jun 2010 »
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
 
1st
75
2nd
68
3rd
65
4th
73
5th
68
6th
66
7th
108
8th
75
9th
89
10th
85
11th
106
12th
99
13th
98
14th
93
15th
85
16th
101
17th
106
18th
109
19th
100
20th
106
21st
89
22nd
87
23rd
97
24th
99
25th
94
26th
108
27th
125
28th
94
29th
76
30th
86
31st
97
 

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