Order by:
Rating:

Space Program Cutback

President says whole space program too expensive. May cut down to mostly "Volunteer Spotters".

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Just As Predicted

Madame Tandy, the palm reader and fortune teller in Nashville flooded out. Loses everything, just like rival Madame Bubetta predicted

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Obama Takes Drastic Actions

President Obama has top members of MENSA rounded up and thrown into Think Tank until they can figure out a way to pay off national debt..or at least stop the oil slick.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Already An Ex-Con

Confidence man gets a no-confidence vote from victims plus five years.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

No Greece Bailout?

Liechtenstein says it will not agree to Greece bailout. Germany says: "Well that takes care of that. We're out too!"

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Liquor Did Well Also

While most companies lost money and laid off hundreds or even thousands last year, Prozac hired 100 new employees as profits were up 40%.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Must Do What We Can

In order to save on electricity, Florida electric chair will be replaced by electric bench.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Bad Economy Hitting Everyone

Electoral College has to raise tuition due to rough economy.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Monday IsTrading Day

BP has asked if they could find Ben Laden, could they trade him for oil slick expenses. Obama agrees to plan but asks them to "hold him till November 1st."

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

Star-struck Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards, was refused an autograph by model Kate Moss at the 52nd Grammy awards show.

written by emccorm, 17 May 2010
Rating:

A Day Late and a Dollar Short

The FTC has charged a local clothier that advertised its sale a day earlier than it actually was for dollar pairs of woman's shorts creating irate customers and numerous complaints.

written by emccorm, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Like Navajo Indians During WWII

Military Intelligence say that during the years, 2000-2005, they used George Bush language speeches to trick Russians with secret code. "They never did figure it out", states one retired General.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Inventor With Brain Cancer Developed Original Cell Phone

Dr. Martin Cooper, cell phone inventor credits his brain cancer and time in chemotherapy with sparking the idea for the cell back in 1973.

written by emccorm, 17 May 2010
Rating:

"Mama Mia, That's A Spicy Used Coffin Wood!"

Report: Pizza in Naples baked with used coffin wood. Now we know why it was such a favorite among those originally from New Guinea.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

New York Closes Parks

New York to close 55 parks due to budget cuts. Central Park to become big community garden.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

New Supremes Ruling

Supreme Court: Sexually 'dangerous' inmates can be kept in jail after prison terms complete. "Thanks a lot", say cell mates.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Flown There Immediately From Hawaii

US court grants asylum to Obama's African aunt who took care of him right after he was born.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

New Oil Well Laws Being Passed

Offshore oil spill brings new rules, including those on land. From now on, no ships allowed within two miles of any well.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Bit Of Lipstick On The Nose?

Wild night at the Miss USA contest last night as some prankster removed all the mirrors.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Completing His College First

335-pound Kansas junior guard on the football team decides to skip pro draft and complete his last year. So the Wichita Lineman is still on the line.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Sir Paul McCartney Rails Against BP

"That company should be ashamed of itself," declared Sir Paul McCartney upon learning that BP intended the unauthorized use of his song "Live and Let Die" in an upcoming television advert.

written by Charpa93, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Italy declare themselves "Officially Corrupt" at last!

In an historical statement Italy have declared themselves "Corrupt" now other nations are desperate to do the same so the UN have declared a public holiday called "Global Corruption Day" to celebrate!

written by Jaggedone, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Deepak Chopra Calls Glenn Beck a Prophet

As a guest on the Colbert Report, Deepak Chopra agrees that Glenn Beck could be called a prophet, and then he spelled it, P-R-O-F-I-T.

written by Charpa93, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Watch Them Close!

Talking on the mobile just 30mins a day linked with heightened risk of brain cancer. Doctors warn that lack of brain activity in teens hard to tell.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Teacher Charged

Teacher charged with assault for hurting pupil's thumb with tube of Prick Stick glue. I'm sorry, that should be Pritt Stick glue.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

New Yorkers Angry

New Yorker's furious at plans for Ground Zero mosque. Plan second "Ground Zero" event.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Miss USA Has Discarded All Of Her Adult Sex Toys Except For One

Rima Fakih says the adult sex toys she won in 2007, when she was crowned Detroit's Pole Dancing Champion, have along ago been discarded. She smiled and added, "Well except for the Ron Jeremy one."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 17 May 2010
Rating:

First Ashnatos Reported

Britain's airspace reopens.... but passengers STILL face travel chaos caused by whirling volcanic ash cloud as hot air from recent election mixes with it.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Miss USA And The Camel Lips Rumors

Rima Fakih, the New Miss USA, stated that the rumors going around about her having kissed a camel on the lips back in college are false. She pointed out that it was the camel's left ear she kissed.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Rima Fakih, The New Miss USA Will Not Talk About Her (Blank)

The new Miss USA, Rima Fakih, has told the media she will not answer any questions about her G-spot. She said that she'll gladly answer questions about her pencil eraser nipples but not her G-spot.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 17 May 2010
Rating:

The New 2010 Miss USA's Pole Dancing Days

The new Miss USA, Rima Fakih says that the 2007 photos of her pole dancing have been photo-shopped. Fakih said that the short shorts she was wearing were pink not red.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Rima Fakih, The Newly Crowed Miss USA Speaks Out On Arizona

The first Muslim-American to be crowned Miss USA says she has no ill feelings towards Arizona for its Immigration Bill. Rima Fakih said, "Hey there are 49 other states - so who needs Arizona."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Some Give & Take

Dear Tories, sorry we spent all the money: Labour's farewell letter as it's revealed public debt could DOUBLE to £1,790bn. Dear Labour: Apology accepted. We're busy getting rid of Labour employees.


written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Strike Averted

British Airways is granted last minute injunction by High Court to avert cabin crew strikes. Planes stopped in mid-air, take back off.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Wayne Rooney plays a Scouse Slob and loves it!

Rooney plays a fat "Scouse Slob" in Nike's latest advert and during filming he said, "I love it here, it's all I ever wanted to be really, a Scouse Slob living in a caravan with millions!"

written by Jaggedone, 17 May 2010
Rating:

White Men Can't Jump

... is the latest law passed by Zimbabwean leader Robert Mugabe.

written by Jesus Budda, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Local School Apologises For Puppet Show Blunder

A local school has apologized for booking Puppetry of the Penis instead of Punch & Judy.

Several children were left traumatized.

written by Jesus Budda, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Loveable Local Actor is a Bastard in real Life

Local actor Dicky Doormouse - who plays Jimmy Lovely in the Jimmy Lovely Show - was born fatherless.

"I am a complete and utter bastard", he admitted.

written by Jesus Budda, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Local Celebrity Comes Out of The Closet

After 25 years trapped in the wardrobe of his bedsit, local actor Steven Lickybum has broken free at last.

He will resume the role of the arse end of the panto horse in Shakespeare's 'Kevin IV"

written by Jesus Budda, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Government Refuses to Confront the Elephant in the Room.

Local government officials have refused to go deal with the issue of Nelly the Elephant's antics.

Today she painted the walls of her room black and now claims she's a goth elephant.

written by Jesus Budda, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Local Mad Scientist Apologises For killing The Entire Town With his Monster

Local scientist, Professor Norbert Frankenstein has issued a heartfelt apology to local citizens for the actions of his latest monstrous creation.

"I'm terribly dory for killing everyone", he said.

written by Jesus Budda, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Spoof Snippet Writer Uses This Spoof Snippet as a Crafty Way To Alert Readers To His Other Spoof Snippets

That devious naughty boy Jesus Budda has urged readers to check out his other spoof snippets while he takes a brief break and enjoys a delicious cup of tea and several biscuits.

written by Jesus Budda, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Local Flirt Fancies The Birds

Local man Barry Nubbins says he enjoys going to the zoo to have a look at the pelicans, flamingos and ostriches.

"I also enjoy looking at the tits in my garden", he said.

written by Jesus Budda, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Local Boys Don't Cry

"We rigorously beat them over the head with sticks, baseball bats, turnips and fish yet not a single tear was shed", said the Professor leading the study of youngster's pain thresholds.

written by Jesus Budda, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Local Bastard Buys a New SUV

Local bastard Harry Whoredini has gone out and bought himself a new car.

He says he hopes to park it in front of your house and block you getting into the garage.

written by Jesus Budda, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Local Woman Desperately Seeking a Huge Cock

Local woman Esmerelda Shitface is searching for her missing male hen.

She has offered a reward of 20p to anyone who finds it dead or alive - preferably alive.

written by Jesus Budda, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Local Man Smells

There's a sale on today at Perfume World of scents of local men.

Buy a 100ml bottle of 'Barry Nubbins' and get a free 30ml bottle of 'Brian Turdface'.

written by Jesus Budda, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Half Of All Marriages Don't Wind Up In Divorce

In a stunning reversal for marriage statistics a new study reports that half of all marriages don't wind up in divorce.

written by emccorm, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Vietnam Celebrates!

Vietnam Celebrates 35th Anniversary of Communist Victory! Jane Fonda named Grand Marshall!

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

"Air Ship Attack"

Somali pirates go too far, overtake space station, crew from Atlantis!

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Turkeys Raped

Turkeys raised on turkey farms with oversized breasts being raped by wild turkeys, farmers report.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

"Sextupletes They Are!!"

Man arrested after trying to claim six daughters by sending the same one into the room dressed differently for census taker to see. Owes US $20,400 in welfare farce.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Osamadema Wins

Arab-American from Michigan, Osamadena Lynn, crowned 2010 Miss USA.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Indonesian Filmmaker Missing

Indonesian filmmaker documents Obama's childhood in Kenya from day one.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Milwaukee Quilt Museum

Milwaukee museum features quilt exhibition. It's in the last room on the left on the third floor of the Beer Museum!

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Sarah Palin Evolves from Barracuda to Grizzly Bear

Sarah Palin was quoted at a breakfast meeting as saying this, "although I don't agree at all with that Darwin fella, I do think personally I've evolved from a ravenous fish to a ravenous mammal.

written by Charpa93, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Breakthough At Last

New study links pesticides in our food to pesticides in our bodies.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

70 Arrested for Cock Fighting

Police stormed an Arizona gay bar and arrested 70 men for cock fighting which is illegal in the state.

written by emccorm, 17 May 2010
Rating:

One Sure Way

Doctor's study concludes that the only way towards a bigger penis is to go into politics.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

FDA Urges Reports Of False Ads

FDA urges docs to report misleading drug ads. "First of all, let me warn you about those bigger penis ads", says one doc.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

New Disease Outbreak

Research links pesticides on crops with people hospitalized with pesticidis.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Never Again!

Teens learn dangers of texting while driving after running into septic cleaning truck.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Cell Danger Inconclusive

Study: Cell phone-brain cancer link inconclusive as most of panel come down with Lupus.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Trade Wars!

Asian ivory trade poses danger to African elephant. Africans threatened to corner the market in gensing.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Astronauts Tackling Antenna!

Astronauts tackling antenna work in 1st spacewalk but say they are tired of moving antenna towards to Playboy Channel all the time.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Mayans Again

Models indicate Gulf spill may be in major current. Mayans Calender predicted it would go into Bermuda Triangle!

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Dead Snakes Dead

Brazil fire burns huge collection of dead snakes, but that Old Serpert, Himself escapes as usual.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

First Quarter Smarter

Lowe's IQ net income edges up as spending rises. I'm sorry, that should have been 1Q.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Aimed At Small Firms

Pitching President Barack Obama's health care law to skeptical business owners, the IRS on Monday will announce ground rules for small firms that sell Viagra, Levitra.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Major Current Stable

Worry that Gulf oil spreading into Major Current! Major rushed to hospital and stomach pumped!

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Euro Slides

Euro slides, slips and busts its ass amid European debt crisis.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Yes Wii Canned!

Dramatic surge seen in adults and kids hospitalized with Wii injuries.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

94-Year Old Graduates #6

Elderly lady says her best subject was history. "Since I personally remember a good portion of it."

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

BP Finds Safety Violations

BP's own probe finds safety issues on Atlantis rig. Plan to fine themselves nearly $1 Billion to "teach us a lesson".

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Oil Plumes Coating Everything

Deep sea oil plumes, dispersants endanger reefs, atomic submarines.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

New Miss USA

Arabian-Born Miss Michigan Wins The 2010 Miss USA Title as a lot of hands busy handling money under judges table.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Panels Decide Those Things

Should we ask if Supreme Court nominee is gay? Most answer "Why? Who listens to us about anything?"

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Report On Survival

Report: Being Bad at Relationships Is Good for Survival. Many planning "Use 'Em, Lose 'Em" strategy.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

94-Year-Old Graduate #5

California woman earns college diploma at age 94. Plans to become a model.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Nonprofits To Be Taxed

Thousands of nonprofits may lose tax-exempt status. IRS agents will begin taking 10% out of offering plates.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Hard To Breathe With Mouth Full

Burger & Fries Worsen Asthma, Study Suggests, but increases flow of saliva.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

A Little Late

Astronauts tackling antenna work in 1st spacewalk. Should supply high-definition reception.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Nashville Fundraiser Successful

Stars help raise over $1.5M for Tennessee flood relief. Little Jimmy Dickens sends in a little, Dolly Parton a couple of bigguns.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Stars Raise Money For Nashville

Stars help raise over $1.5M for Tenn. flood relief . "This should really help out on that $10 billion dollar loss", says Mayor.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

94-Year-Old Graduate #4

California woman earns college diploma at age 94. Voted "Most Likely To Drop Dead At Any Time"

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Second Hand Creeps Forward

Iran to ship uranium to Turkey in nuclear deal a doomsday clock ticks three more seconds toward midnight.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

No Big Turnout!

County clerks across the US expecting low voter turnout for lowdown candidates.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Leak Tall Buildings With Single Remixing

Promising chemical student takes top academic honor as accident turns him into "Chemical Man!"

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Brought Down Once By Red Baron

Celebrated World War I flying ace dies in California. Snoopy was 101.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Others Contestants Say Obama Brought Pressure

Arab-American from Michigan crowned 2010 Miss USA. Jewish Miss from Miami finishes second. Should be an interesting year.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Real Emergency

Plane diverted to DC area after cock catches on fire. I'm sorry, that should read "after fire in cockpit".

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Peace & Quite

Being Bad at Relationships Is Good for Survival as relatives won't be showing up so much to stay the holidays.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Check All Pockets In Donated Clothing

Thousands of nonprofits may lose tax-exempt status. Treasury Department to raid Goodwill, Salvation Army stores.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

94-Year-Old Graduates #2

California woman earns college diploma at age 94. Mom & Dad brings grandparents best wishes.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

94 Year Old Graduates

California woman earns college diploma at age 94. Will take a year off to hitchhike through Europe before getting job.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Pesticides Working Well, On Humans

Research links pesticides with ADHD in children, every other major disease today.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Texas Guv Enjoys Free Benefits

Gov. Perry's temporary digs costs Texas big bucks. Defends himself by saying: "We all do it. Haven't you been reading th world headlines for the past 50 years?"

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

All's Fair!

GOP filibuster unlikely on Kagan nomination but will still take the opportunity to condemn Obama's choices.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Oil Plumes Dangerous

Deep sea oil plumes, dispersants endanger reefs, surfers.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

One Of Ten Thousand Special Awards Last Year

Obama admin gave rig 'safety award' last year! About the same time he received the Nobel Peace Cracker Jack Prize.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Classifieds - Fluff

For sale, three grammes of belly button fluff. Previously belonged to my mate, Steve. Unwanted gift, hence £1.

written by IainB, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Robot Replaces Cleric or Public Official, Performs Wedding Ceremony in Tokyo

Under development is a Robot that will declare divorces.



written by Gail Farrelly, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Stopped Speech Just In Time

Wayward satellite allows some texts to go astray such as "Idiot, it was only the early guys who got aboard that got the pyramid scheme money, twelve inch dongs" on Obama's message board.

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

To Err Is Truman

Army doctors sending some troops home, especially after one asked, "When is Truman going to bring us home?"

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

In Their Own Words

Soldier interviewed in Iraq says that instead of "stay the course", they call it "Sit And Shit!"

written by Bureau, 17 May 2010
Rating:

Flavor Flav Mistakes Pink for Brigitte Nielsen at Fundraiser

"Damn," said Flav, "I looked like a damn fool runnin' all up on her an stuff from behind." Graciously, Pink just turned around and asked Flav if he happened to know the time.

written by Charpa93, 17 May 2010
« Apr 2010 May 2010 Jun 2010 »
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
 
1st
75
2nd
68
3rd
65
4th
73
5th
68
6th
66
7th
108
8th
75
9th
89
10th
85
11th
106
12th
99
13th
98
14th
93
15th
85
16th
101
17th
106
18th
109
19th
100
20th
106
21st
89
22nd
87
23rd
97
24th
99
25th
94
26th
108
27th
125
28th
94
29th
76
30th
86
31st
97
 

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 multiplied by 2?

5 22 2 3


Go to top