Order by:
Rating:

Crowe Flies

Russell Crowe curses, storms out of interview in ROBIN HOOD 'accent' jibe: "We didn't know Robin was Cockney before this movie."

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Judge Unseals Affidavit

Judge orders unsealing of affidavit in iPhone raid..."Now can anybody read this shit?"

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Horsen Beans Favorite Themes #10

Horsen Beans appeared on Oprah today, who had an old Quiz Show Reunion. Beans revealed that his favorite theme music for a show was "The Sound Broke Silence" (By Appalled Simon & Fart Pullfinger)

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Horsen Beans Favorite Themes #9

Horsen Beans, appeared on Oprah today, who had an old Quiz Show Reunion. Beans revealed that his favorite theme music for a show was "The Answer To The Bends, Is Blowing In The Wind"

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Horsen Beans Favorite Themes #8

Long time quiz show panelist, Horsen Beans, appeared on Oprah today, who had an old Quiz Show Reunion. Beans revealed that his favorite theme music for a show was "Brown Haze Is In The Air"

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Horsen Beans Favorite Themes #7

Long time quiz show panelist, Horsen Beans, appeared on Oprah today, who had an old Quiz Show Reunion. Beans revealed that his favorite theme music for a show ""Beaver Lifter Alone!"

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Horsen Beans Favorite Themes #6

Horsen Beans, Betty White appeared on Oprah today, who had an old Quiz Show Reunion. Beans revealed that his favorite theme music for a show? "She Was An Air Flapper, Backdoor Trumpet, Yeah!"

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Halliburton Blames Employee Outsourcing Company for Oil Spill Debaucle

Shit continues to roll downstream as Halliburton now blames a temporary employee outsourcing agency for supplying it with unqualified employees for the initial building project.

written by Charpa93, 14 May 2010
Rating:

US Government Scientists Come up with Oil Spill Solution

Encase the oil company executives in concrete and shoot them through a tube to plug the spill.

written by Charpa93, 14 May 2010
Rating:

"Sounds Like That Fish On Sesame Street"

One of President Obama's advisers stated today that he thought that Halliburton had exploited loopholes to hide its performance in Iraq. The President was quick to respond: "What's a Halliburton?"

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Look Me In The Eye, Not The Sky!

President Obama stated today in his twice-daily broadcast that since he was for change & that nothing he had done had worked so far, "I've decided to change once again & become a mortal."

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Bangkok in flames as star Spoofer Monkey Woods "legs it"

The revolution in Bangkok has caused star Spoofer, Monkey Woods, to leg it out of town, he was actually having a bit of fun in the red-light zone at the time, hopefully he's still got his pants on!

written by Jaggedone, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Horsen Beans Favorite Themes #5

Long time quiz show panelist, Horsen Beans, appeared on Oprah today, who had an old Quiz Show Reunion. Beans revealed that his favorite theme music for a show was "These Toots Were Made For Talking"

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Horsen Beans Favorite Themes #4

Long time quiz show panelist, Horsen Beans, appeared on Oprah today, who had an old Quiz Show Reunion. Beans revealed that his favorite theme music for a show was "Brown-Eye's Swirl"

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Horsen Beans Favorite Themes #3

Long time quiz show panelist, Horsen Beans, appeared on Oprah today, who had an old Quiz Show Reunion. Beans revealed that his favorite theme music for a show was "Blow Hole, It's Off To Work We Go!"

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Horsen Beans Favorite Themes #2

Long time quiz show panelist, Horsen Beans, appeared on Oprah today, who had an old Quiz Show Reunion. Beans revealed that his favorite theme music for a show was "Blowing Silent Kisses"

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Horsen Beans Favorite Themes

Long time quiz show panelist, Horsen Beans, appeared on Oprah today, who had an old Quiz Show Reunion. Beans revealed that his favorite theme music for a show was "Gunning Against The Wind"

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Cloned Our Cloning Procedure

The Scottish scientists who first cloned Dolly the sheep has accused the scientists who cloned the cat of stealing their procedures. "He's nothing but a copycat", the insist.

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Pelosi Listeners Never The Same Afterwards

In an interview with Donald Rumsfeld on CNN late night, he stated that most prisoners who refused to give information about where Bin Laden was hiding preferred waterboarding to Nancy Pelosi speeches.

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Wise Men Say Only Fools Rush In

...but I can't hep falling in love with you...

written by Jesus Budda, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Local Cop is Getting Too Old For This Shit

Elderly local policeman Paddy Plod has an anal infection that means his excrement dries rapidly upon exit from his rectum.

written by Jesus Budda, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Archbishop Desmond Tutu Gets a Tattoo and a Toupe

He made his first appearance with his new style while attending a concert by faux lesbian Russian act Tatu in Tahiti.

written by Jesus Budda, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Nelson Mandela Arrested

...by the Fashion police.
It appears he had worn one too many of those awful, garishly patterned shirts.

written by Jesus Budda, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Monopoly Town Wont Accept Real Money

Real-world customers trying to buy little silver cars, trains or buildings with normal cash are arrested.

Occasionally some are given a 'Get out of Jail' card and told to f*ck off back home.

written by Jesus Budda, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Local Man Sells Sole to the Devil

Local fishmonger Kevin Prickface had a celebrity customer yesterday - the Devil!

"I sold him a nice piece of sole for his supper", he said.

written by Jesus Budda, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Local Woman Arrested For Taking Pictures of Her Pussy

Her cat Trixie had taken an injunction out against its owner preventing unauthorized photographs being taken.

written by Jesus Budda, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Something Just Like That At St. Mary Meade

Miss Jane Marple informs BP that, since the big box didn't work to stem flow of oil because it developed ice, couldn't you send down big block of ice?

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Second "Relief" Well In Gulf May Leak Too

Golf balls, old tires, an upside down funnel and a second relief well are apparently all methods BP is using to allow a 200,000 gallon-a-day leak to continue flowing.

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Bird Watchers

Majestic Blue Herons nest in Ohio, while the regular Blue Herons nest in Trailer park in Arkansas.

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Clues About The Blues

Clues about postpartum depression: "First of all, they usually set in AFTER the child has been born", says specialist.

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

3 Discovered In Plot!

Three from Pakistan arrested in NYC plot! Apparently they were trying to hide below coffin.

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Down By The Oil Gulf Stream

BP to try pipe insertion of CEO today to stem oil gushing into Gulf.

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Violence In Thailand

More violence in Bangkok, Thailand as Demonstrators really Thai one on!

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Top Nudist's Movies #47

The Motion Picture Association releases all-time hit movie classics at nation's nudist colonies, including "All's Quite Beautiful On The Western Front".

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Top Nudist's Movie #46

The Motion Picture Association releases all-time hit movie classics at nation's nudist colonies, including "The Goods, The Broads And The Jiggly"

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Top Nudist's Movie #45

The Motion Picture Association releases all-time hit movie classics at nation's nudist colonies, including "The Biggie Parade"

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Top Nudist's Movie #44

The Motion Picture Association releases all-time hit movie classics at nation's nudist colonies, including "Pride Of Frankenstein"

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Top Nudist's Movie #43

The Motion Picture Association releases all-time hit movie classics at nation's nudist colonies, including "Love At First, Second, Third Sight"

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Top Nudist's Movie #42

The Motion Picture Association releases all-time hit movie classics at nation's nudist colonies, including "Titty Lights"

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Sam & Dave

British newspapers run old photos of David and Samantha back when they were known as Sam & Dave and sang "I'm A Soul Man".

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

'Non-Dom Speaks Out'

Conservative Sugar Daddy Lord Ashcroft stays True Blue in face of Clegg & Cameron fling. "The boys can go as Con-Dem as they like,' Ashcroft told friends, "but I'll never be a Non-Con-Dom"

written by weshallovercomeoneday, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Evidence that Acne Causes Puberty

Scientists now believe hormones contained in pimples cause puberty.

written by emccorm, 14 May 2010
Rating:

"Death By Drone, She Wrote"

DEATH BY DRONE: Controversy after CIA authorized to kill U.S. citizen, apparently the founder of the Tea Bag Party. Instead, it hits founder of Flea Bag Party!

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Hatch Of The Day!

Hatch of the day: Rare chicken-guinea fowl hybrid has FOUR wings, ten peckers!

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Cheese Good For Elderly

Piece of cheese each day 'helps protect the immune system of the elderly' "That's fine", says 85-year-old. "But how do we shit?"

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Man Finally Quits Smoking

'I lit a cigarette and my house exploded': Gas blast survivor tells of miracle escape after he was blown out of his home & how he gave up smoking, once clothes fire beaten out.

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Laura Supported Gay Marriage

Laura Bush: I secretly supported abortion and gay marriage - even though my husband did not, admits former First Hypocrite.

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Slow Day In Britain

Supermarket staff told a customer he could not buy a bunch of flowers for his daughters because they were 'out of date.'... Look, a willow warbler! Slow day for news in Britain.

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

"Prime Minister! Prime Minister!"

"Prime Minister? Oh that's me!" Cameron visits Scotland as he reveals he's still getting his head around being in charge. "That's why I say it to myself all the time."

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Top Nudist's Movie #41

The Motion Picture Association releases all-time hit movie classics at nation's nudist colonies, including "Some Like It A Lot!"

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Top Nudist's Movie #40

The Motion Picture Association releases all-time hit movie classics at nation's nudist colonies, including "High Soon"

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Top Nudist's Movie #39

The Motion Picture Association releases all-time hit movie classics at nation's nudist colonies, including "An American In Paradise"

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Top Nudist's Movie #38

The Motion Picture Association releases all-time hit movie classics at nation's nudist colonies, including "Strangers With Eye Strain"

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Top Nudist's Movies #37

The Motion Picture Association releases all-time hit movie classics at nation's nudist colonies, including "Everyone's About Eve"

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Top Nudist's Movies #36

The Motion Picture Association releases all-time hit movie classics at nation's nudist colonies, including "The African Seen"

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Russians Believe Bribery Works

Half of Russians believe bribery solves "problems". "Of course, we're only basing this on the past 1,000 years", says head of study.

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Volcano Threatens Tourism

Icelandic volcano threatens European summer of ass. I'm sorry, that should have been "ash".

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

New Security On Facebook

Facebook rolling out new security features as faces will be cartoon versions, everybody listed as 50-years-old.

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Proof Of Evolution

Experts: Feathers too weak for early bird flight. That's why we have no birds today.

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Oil Prices Down

Oil falls near $73 amid signs demand may slacken. "Can't compete with all that free stuff in the gulf", says OPEC.

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Living Cheaper!

Swipe this card; shopping could be cheaper...according to whose card you swiped.

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Texas Honors Cronkite

Univ. of Texas exhibit showcases Walter Cronkite career "and that's the way it is, this May 14th, 2010."

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Differences In Response

Miss., La. govs contrast in responses to oil spill as Miss Gov order blocking devices placed in front of beaches, La. Gov sends everybody to sports stadium.

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Pope's Portugal Trip #3

Pope's Portugal trip a bid to move beyond scandal. Will discuss how many angels can dance on the head of a pin.

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Pope In Portugal #2

Pope's Portugal trip a bid to move beyond scandal. Will discuss new type of chastity belts for youth in choirs.

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Pope In Portugal

Pope's Portugal trip a bid to move beyond scandal. Will discuss what type of lowers are best for early services.

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Why Didn't We Think Of That?

Chinese find use for cigarette butts. "Plenty of tobacco leftover to put together, roll your own", says one smoker.

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

How Soon We Forget

Friends, family and co-workers show up for tribute to beloved uh, Whats Her Ass!

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Horse Very Excited

Schoolyard Dreams comes early for the Preakness! "He was THAT excited", says owner.

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

"President Kennedy Ish Nuts"

Bill in Congress could limit direct wine shipments as "one million wino stagger" planned for Washington for this summer.

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Pirates Release Chemical Tanker #2

Somali pirates release UK-flagged chemical tanker as leader's hook melts, wooden leg catches on fire.

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Pirates Release Chemical Tanker

Somali pirates release UK-flagged chemical tanker after leader begins growing an extra head!

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

No Required Insurance

Small business lobby joining a court challenge to Obama's health care overhaul, arguing that Americans cannot be required to obtain insurance coverage as Tea Party dumps prescriptions into harbor.

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

No Goals Reached

AP IMPACT: US drug war has met none of its goals after 20 years. Say that this could be the year of the breakthrough!

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

China Scientists Find Use For Cigarette Butts

Chemical extracts from cigarette butts -so toxic they kill fish -can be used to protect steel pipes from rusting, a study in China has found. BP may use them to seal oil leak.

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

We Need Jobs!

Buffalo billboard petitions president for "a freakin' job". President Obama calls Barnum & Bailey Circus immediately.

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

They Need Fuel

NASA fuels space shuttle Atlantis for final voyage. "You see, these things won't fly without fuel" guide tells tourists watching.

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

U.S. Seeking Compensation

US seeks $10 million for oil spill legal costs. $100 million for pain and suffering.

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Cameron shows his allegiance

David Cameron has given a subtle hint to the Countryside Alliance that he is on their side by appointing Liam Fox and Jeremy Hunt to his cabinet. "It's just a coincidence!" he claimed.

written by IainB, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Oprah Declares She's Done With Dieting

Says Oprah, "Heck,I'm so rich, I can buy myself another body and just have my head sewn onto it."

written by Charpa93, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Kagan and Kucinich Share the Same Barber

Rep. Dennis Kucinich (D-OH) confirmed the obvious today: He and Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan have the same barber. Kucinich says it will not influence his vote.

written by Lorenzo Dunning, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Kim Jong-il. ill?

Kim Jong-il's "greet juppin orry turds" had even his own generals afraid that he had lost his mind completely, until nephew tells them "Uncle watched Yosemite Sam lass night".

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Airlines Trying Everything

Furnishing a clown on each airplane for kids not working out for American Airlines. "It was a pie in the sky idea, anyway," says Captain.

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Not A Lapdog

"Sirs, I am not President Barack Obama's lapdog, barked Elena Kagan before a committee yesterday.

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Top Taser/MP3 Songs #9

Poll from 2009 of the top Taser MP3 songs includes "It's My Party & I'll Fry Who I Want To"

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Top Taser/MP3 Songs #8

Poll from 2009 of the top Taser MP3 songs includes "Fry, Cry, Almost Die!"

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Top Taser/MP3 Songs #7

Poll from 2009 of the top Taser MP3 songs includes "Wham Bam! Who Shocked Sam?"

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Top Taser/MP3 Songs #6

Poll from 2009 of the top Taser MP3 songs includes "Hey Dude, (I've Shit My Pants)"

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Top Taser/MP3 Songs #5

Poll from 2009 of the top Taser MP3 songs includes "She'll Have Stun, Stun, Stunned Till Her Daddy Takes The Taser Away!"

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Top Taser/MP3 Songs #4

Poll from 2009 of the top Taser MP3 songs includes country hit, "We Went Out Sparking Together!"

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Top Taser/MP3 Songs #3

Poll from 2009 of the top Taser MP3 songs includes "Down By The Liver, I Shot My Baby"

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

Top Taser/MP3 Songs #2

Poll from 2009 of the top Taser MP3 songs includes "Twitchy Woman"

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
Rating:

All-Time Top Taser MP3 Songs

Poll from 2009 of the top Taser MP3 songs includes "Zap Went The String To My Parts"

written by Bureau, 14 May 2010
« Apr 2010 May 2010 Jun 2010 »
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
 
1st
75
2nd
68
3rd
65
4th
73
5th
69
6th
66
7th
108
8th
75
9th
89
10th
85
11th
106
12th
99
13th
98
14th
93
15th
85
16th
101
17th
106
18th
109
19th
103
20th
106
21st
89
22nd
87
23rd
97
24th
99
25th
94
26th
108
27th
125
28th
94
29th
76
30th
86
31st
97
 

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