Order by:
Rating:

Sun Getting To Bin Laden

In a new video, Osama bin Laden says he has decided to send 300,000 more suicide bombers into Afghanistan.

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Oprah Winfrey Vows to Never Diet Again

An unidentified source was quoted as saying "sure, she's been sucked in so many times by so-called diet experts, she should be a size -1 by now."

written by Charpa93, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Simon Cowell Threatens to Leave Idol if Casey James Wins

When reminded that he has already announced he won't be back next season, Cowell instead threatened to beat the reporter for reminding him of his diminished influence.

written by Charpa93, 13 May 2010
Rating:

On Bravo Tonight

9.00pm Why men watch porn.

Masturbation. Don't waste an hour.

written by ExiledRoyal, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Worse Of 2009

Poll: The worse thing that happened to average man in 2009? "Wives messing up your hair & wanting you to bite their neck during sex."

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

"Simon Cowell Upset

Simon Cowell upset because the "Year of the Rat" won't return until 2020!

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

"Here Comes Captain Eunuch!"

Man sues airport for scanner revealing his tiny weiner.

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Cyrus At 16

Miley Cyrus film shows up showing her twisting her butt against 45-year old producer. "He's gay! That's the part I thought he would most appreciate!"

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

There Goes Arkansas

Arizona's new law also bans any "related married couples" from southern U.S.

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Prince Charles To Do Commercials?

Britain has requested that Burger King change their "King" in commercials there as he acts too much like Prince Charles and viewers might get the wrong idea.

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

No More Trans Fats

McDonald's has announced that it is completely free of trans fats altogether! The announcement came after completing a deal with the National Hog Farmer's Association.

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Local Man thinks his friends believe he is a Muslim

"My friends are always telling me I'm shite, but I'm presuming they meant 'shi-ite'", he said.

written by Jesus Budda, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Local Caveman Invents Wheel

He is still waiting for his friend Kevin to invent Roads.

written by Jesus Budda, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Local Explosives Expert Blows up Wife

Local man Barry Nubbins - a trained dynamite user - got married to his inflatable doll.

written by Jesus Budda, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Local Scientist invents Mind Reading Machine

It's called 'The Wife'.

written by Jesus Budda, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Lonesome Glove

One hand was warm and dexterous while the other was bare, cold and stiff. One glove was free in the wind while the other was bothered by fever and painful stretch.

written by C. Cranium, 13 May 2010
Rating:

British Beaches Improved

Good news for 'staycationers': Britain's beaches are three times cleaner than a decade ago. "You can actually see the sand in spots", says returning visitor.

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Too Crowded!

Thousands of pupils being taught in 'illegal' large classes, as average pupil's weight up 25 pounds over that two years ago.

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Top Nudist's Movie #35

The Motion Picture Association releases all-time hit movie classics at nation's nudist colonies, including "The Gold Bush!"

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Top Nudist's Movie #34

The Motion Picture Association releases all-time hit movie classics at nation's nudist colonies, including "A Sweet Thing Named Desire"

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Top Nudist's Movies #33

The Motion Picture Association releases all-time hit movie classics at nation's nudist colonies, including "Bun Crazy!"

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Afghan poppies have been ruined by a fungus called Taliban dandruff!

Taliban accuse the US for ruining their poppy harvest claiming a fungus had been planted. Actually the Taliban are to blame, during harvest they removed their turbans and the dandruff did the rest!

written by Jaggedone, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Top Nudist's Movies #32

The Motion Picture Association releases all-time hit movie classics at nation's nudist colonies, including "The Asphalt Jiggle"

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Could Also Ride Bike Without Hands!

Shopkeeper bars 17-year-old cyclist from buying puncture repair kit 'in case he sniffs the glue'. "Certainly couldn't smell it over the stink in here", he tells owner.

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Sounds Like Seinfeld Episode

New Yorker has miniature Eiffel Tower removed from rectum THREE years after incident. "You get past 550 pounds, you have to do something", he tells reporters.

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

The Pope prays too Fatima for forgiveness and get's a cold shoulder!

Fatima in Portugal refused to show the Pope that the Almighty forgives his "naughty paedo Priests" her cheeks stayed dry, in fact she smiled and told him to politely F**k O*f in perfect Latin!

written by Jaggedone, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Double Trouble

'I forgot I was in a double decker': Bus driver tears off roof going under low bridge. Passengers on second deck may sue!"

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Lethal With Chair

Pictured: Have-a-go-hero batters gun-wielding robber with a chair. "We always watch the "Jerry Springer Show" he admits.

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Lottery Winner Behind Bars

Behind bars: The unemployed lottery winner who scooped £164,000, then claimed £21,700 in benefits. Gets three month sentence, fined £164,000.

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Amazing But True!

One in seven schoolchildren don't speak English as a first language. Most of them in China!

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Top Nudist's Movie #31

The Motion Picture Association releases all-time hit movie classics at nation's nudist colonies, including "Rebel Without Geegaws"

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Top Nustist's Movie #30

The Motion Picture Association releases all-time hit movie classics at nation's nudist colonies, including "Don With The Grin"

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Top Nudist's Movie #29

The Motion Picture Association releases all-time hit movie classics at nation's nudist colonies, including "Invasion Of The Body Lechers"

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Top Nudist's Movie #28

The Motion Picture Association releases all-time hit movie classics at nation's nudist colonies, including "Ben Hur, Done That"

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Top Nudist's Movie #27

The Motion Picture Association releases all-time hit movie classics at nation's nudist colonies, including "Twelve Angry Eunuchs"

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Top Nudist's Movie #26

The Motion Picture Association releases all-time hit movie classics at nation's nudist colonies, including "Sweet Tails Of Success"

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Fell For It Hard

Sorry darling, I've dented the Aston Martin: Party girl lands on £130,000 supercar after 12ft fall from window! "I always knew that it was the car that you had fallen for, says fiancee.

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Meteorologists proclaim new weather on the horizon

Refuse to reveal which one!

written by Tcoah, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Girl Admits Lie

Girl, 8, tells court she lied about being raped by ten-year-old boys. "It was a giraffe at the zoo."

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Survey says cold weather reduces on-street crime

Weather forecasters told by Obama to dress up cold weather in heavy socks.

written by Tcoah, 13 May 2010
Rating:

It Was Awful! Let Me Tell You Again!

House of Fraser assistant 'repeatedly stabbed by colleague' in front of horrified shoppers, who stopped to watch.

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Parking Permit Denied

Woman with false leg 'not disabled enough' for special parking permit (after having one for 25 years). Told by local policeman to "Hop it!"

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Facebook Abduction?

Friends of London woman who disappeared without a trace say she had recently met an alien on facebook. "She's probably on another planet by now", states best friend.

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Economic Plans Expensive

Coalition economic plans will ADD £10bn to deficit say opponents, nearly as bad as ours.

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

China Admits Space Program Going to the Dogs

Chinese Astronaut Yang Liwei listed his food menu as braised chicken, steamed fish and dog meat from Huajiang county. Thought eating cat was uncivilized.

written by emccorm, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Cameron Kid in Hospital

After moving into Number 10, one of David Cameron's children has been taken to hospital.

He swallowed a large marble from Gordon's bedside cabinet.

written by Coops, 13 May 2010
Rating:

CIA Poisoning Afghan Puppies

CORRECTION: Should read: CIA Poisoning Afghan Poppies

written by emccorm, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Woman Finds Needle in Haystack

No word yet on whether or not she'll find that piece of string.

written by Charpa93, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Large Man With Small Penis Accused of Assault

Obviously the man was incapable of either walking softly or carrying a big stick.

written by Charpa93, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Dirty Police Tactics

Bangkok protests claim that police have deliberately banged them on the cock.

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

China Apologizes Over Execution

"Murdered" Chinese man reappears after 10 years. "Feel much better now, thank you."

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

No One Cancelling!

In a great surprise, the number one reason Americans want to visit Europe this summer is to see the ash from the volcano.

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Seinfeld To Help Nashville

Seinfeld joins country celebs in aiding Nashville. "You guys have been providing me with humor material for my whole career. It's time I gave some back."

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

NBC Desperate?

Fans who share their passion for NBC shows online could earn the network's appreciation - and prizes - in return. "Watch our programs, win a suit!"

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

FDA Asks That Docs Speak Up!

FDA urges docs to report misleading drug ads. Many plan to close extra day a week to catch up on their reading.

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

BP Unregulated?

Emerging oil rig evidence shows lack of regulation duct tape.

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Lot Of Buffalo

Obama to talk small-business agenda in Buffalo. "He speaks 'Buffalo' fluently", states Biden.

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Good Marks?

Poll: Good marks for Obama on spill, creating few jobs, cutting space program, raises taxes. Poll 5% plus/minus village idiots.

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

In Your Face!

Israelis: No halt to east Jerusalem construction. "Ignore our President on another visit Mr. Obama!"

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

New Claims Down

New claims for unemployment insurance inch down as many have drawn all they can or simply given up.

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Clear As Mud

Kohl's 1Q net income rises on higher revenue. That's how it works. If revenue was lower, it would be down.

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Oil Spill Permit!

Stupak: How did oil spill companies get permits? "We got a permit to spill oil three months ago", replies BP's CEO. Shouldn't your name be "STUPID"?

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Glad We Got That Straight

Emerging oil rig evidence shows lack of stopping it from escaping into the Gulf.

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

"You Lie" Guy Next?

9 indicted on charges of accessing Obama records. Obama now referred to as "The Teflon President".

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

There's Your Answer!

Does Washing Lettuce Get Rid of Bacteria? Does voting in new people in Washington ever get rid of all the bullshit?

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Armored Vehicles Being Used

Thailand will use armored vehicles to seal protest. Arizona will use armored vehicles to seal off Mexico, California.

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Gas Platform Sinks

Offshore natural gas platform sinks off Venezuela. "Hugo Chavez needs to lose that gut before visiting any more platforms", states foreman.

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Going Postal Again

Mail carriers who collected 52K pounds during regional food drive say one has cracked up and threatens to eat it.

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

FEMA Awaits

FEMA says they are simply awaiting the word before heading for gulf disaster while finishing up on Oklahoma bombing.

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

But FEMA Prepares For Gulf

Obama declares flood disaster. Still waiting on that oil spill thingy.

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Kids Paint Themselves Also

Warhol self-portrait sells for record $32.5 million. Inspires other artists to begin painting themselves from mirrors.

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Man Blaming Arizona Doesn't Work

California man sentenced to 10 years for investment scam. Blames Arizona.

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

LA Vs Arizona

Los Angeles to boycott Arizona over immigration law. Arizona threatens to sit off dynamite at border hoping to stir earthquake and slide California into ocean.

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Tornado Toll The Same

Wednesday's toll from the tornado that missed Indiana still at zero.

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

More Regulations The Answer?

Emerging oil rig evidence shows lack of regulation. President names new Frogman Czar.

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Best To Be Sure

Does Washing Lettuce Get Rid of Bacteria? Most authorities now recommend running them in the dish washer.

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

A Politician With Guts? Unheard of!

Arizona governor signs bill targeting ethnic studies, sends more border guards to Mexican, Californian borders.

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Guv Signs Bill Against Illegal Immigration

Arizona governor signs bill targeting ethnic studies, lowers her pants and moons California.

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Armstrong Critical Of Obungler.

Neil Armstrong: Obama's New Space Plan 'Piss Poor Effort'. "Where has he been the last 40 years?"

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Poll Only Asked One Party

Poll: Good marks for Obama on spill, deserves some kind od award for waiting 21 days and still not doing anything about it.

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Forecloses Delayed

Foreclosures down 2 percent from last year! "It's a modern miracle", say Democrats up for re-election in the fall.

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Hugh Hefner, alias The Viagra Kid

Hugh Hefner, who is 84, said that if all of the Viagra pills he has taken were laid end-to-end they would reach from the tip of his pecker to the moon.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Paris Hilton's New Home Is In Quite a Neighborhood

Paris Hilton got a hell of a deal on a 10,000 sq. ft. home she purchased on eBay. She paid $7 for it. When asked where it is located she replied, "It's next to Eyjafjallajokull whatever that is."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 13 May 2010
Rating:

The Forgotten Actor Formerly Known As Billy Bob Thornton

The nearly totally forgotten Billy Bob Thornton has signed to star in the film 'OctoMom Gets Knocked Up Again.' The highly versatile Thornton will be portraying Nadya Suleman.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 13 May 2010
Rating:

The Con Artist Formerly Known As Mr. Bernie Madoff

In the Bad News/Good News Department: The bad news is that the prison inmates have turned Bernie Madoff into a bitch. The good news is that 'she' was recently elected Queen of Cell Block F.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Charles Barkley Reveals Who His White Soul Mate Is

Charles Barkley, TNT sports commentator, says that he now weighs exactly as much as his white soul mate Kirstie Alley who weighs 409 pounds.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 13 May 2010
Rating:

David Cameron's favourite joke

When asked tonight, "What is your favourite joke?" David Cameron answered:

"Nick Clegg."

written by Lady Godiva, 13 May 2010
Rating:

NASA Running Short

NASA reports that it doesn't have enough money to keep count of all the asteroids or large meteorites. Asks Willie Nelson if he can get all the Stars out for a big fundraiser for the real "Earth Day".

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Change In Docs

Under President Obama's new health care plan, Spin Doctors will make three times the amount of regular doctors.

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Top Nudist's Movie #25

The Motion Picture Association releases all-time hit movie classics at nation's nudist colonies, including "Baths Of Glory"

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Top Nudist's Movie #24

The Motion Picture Association releases all-time hit movie classics at nation's nudist colonies, including "The Plight Of The Runter"

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Top Nudist's Movie #23

The Motion Picture Association releases all-time hit movie classics at nation's nudist colonies, including "Woman Holiday"

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Top Nudist Movie #22

The Motion Picture Association releases all-time hit movie classics at nation's nudist colonies, including "The Big Pete"

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Top Nudist Movie #21

The Motion Picture Association releases all-time hit movie classics at nation's nudist colonies, including "On The Hotter Front"

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Top Nudist Movies #20

The Motion Picture Association releases all-time hit movie classics at nation's nudist colonies, including "Swinging In The Rain"

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Top Nudists Movies #19

The Motion Picture Association releases all-time hit movie classics at nation's nudist colonies, including "Some Rise"

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Top Nudist Movies #18

The Motion Picture Association releases all-time hit movie classics at nation's nudist colonies, including "Bad Day At Black Cock"

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
Rating:

Customers Leaving

General Mills which showed a good year in sales last year as many people began eating cereal three times a day due to bad economy, now losing money as the same people have switched to store brands.

written by Bureau, 13 May 2010
« Apr 2010 May 2010 Jun 2010 »
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75
2nd
68
3rd
65
4th
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5th
68
6th
66
7th
108
8th
75
9th
89
10th
85
11th
106
12th
99
13th
98
14th
93
15th
85
16th
101
17th
106
18th
109
19th
100
20th
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