Spoof news snippets from March 2010
There were 3,269 spoof news snippets published in March 2010. A selection of the best rated snippets is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.
Ricky Martin: Gay As A Barbie Doll
Breaking news tonight from the Beeb...Ricky Martin announced tonight he likes to dance backwards...In other news it was announced that the sky is blue and 2 plus 2 equals 4...
Mass Hysteria by Subo Fansite Members
Subo would be gobsmacked if she knew how some fans are attacking each other,verbally,on fansites. They're resigning en masse as a result of not being able to laugh on site. Susan loves a good giggle.
Do YOU know the true identify of Lady Godiva. Bed awaiting you in Priory Clinic.
The,EPL and FIFA are trying to trace the TRUE identity of Lady Godiva. No reward is offered for revealing her identity. There IS a bed, in the Priory Clinic, awaiting anyone who can identify her.
You've heard of Biker Gangs showing their colours. Now SuBo fans are showing theirs. Blessed, holier than thou, fanatics are sporting RED. The fun-loving fans of Susan are sporting Purple. And you?
Spoof Writer to come clean
Lady Godiva to have hair cut. This will of course 'out' her. Quote:Now I'll be able to get into my straight jacket more easily at night.I'll donate my hair to bald writers of The Spoof even the women.
Terry and Tiger
John Terry and Tiger Woods have both signed up for a seminar entitled "How Not To Get Caught". The seminar is being delivered by Arabian entrepeneurs I.Gotcha Munay and
Spoof writers receive accolades.
Spoof writers are receiving accolades they never ever imagined. This is TRULY 'freedom of the press.' Or
is it 'freedom of the opressed'? No matter, we all love it don't we? OK, I speak for myself.
Word spelled wrong in dictionaries.
Do you know there is a word spelled wrong in the dictionary? It is spelled wrong in every dictionary that I have looked at, even Wikipedia.
Philbert of Macadamia to enter Priory
Philbert of Macadamia to enter Prirory clinic as a result of him being totally nuts. Lady Godiva is paying for his stay with the money she makes writing for The Spoof.
Canadian Hockey team signed by USA
The Canadian Hockey team, who tonight won the Gold in the Winter Olympics, have signed up with L.A.Kings. The fee? Free tickets to all AGT tapings and a contract to appear in next season's Survivor.
The San Andreas Fault Eagles
The Eagles 2010 Version: "The Shakin' And Quakin' Hotel California."
Heffner dead for 4 years
Hugh Heffner died 4 years ago.The amazing special effects crew who worked on 'Weekend At Bernies', admitted today that they've been responsible for keeping Heffner in the public eye. What a laugh eh?
Keep Subo fanatics out of White House
If you don't want the world to end, keep Subo fanatics OUT of the White House. They are so drawn to the colour RED it that they will, if allowed in the White House,pounce 'en masse' on THE RED BUTTON.
The Rarest Photo of Janis Joplin Ever
A niece of Janis Joplin has reportedly found an extremely rare photo of her aunt. The photo shows Joplin on stage singing without a bottle of Southern Comfort in her hand.
Cowell hires actress to play fiance on Leno
Last night Simon Cowell appeared on The Jay Leno show. He hired an out of work actress to play the part of his fiance. She was wearing a HUGE ring which Simon had bought from Honest Ed's in Toronto.
Which bits were dangling
Re:Car crash where ordinary man was left dangling out of his vehicle. Female readers, and some male readers, are demanding to know which 'bits' were dangling and what is the location of the crash.
Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs?
Well it looks like the recession has finally hit Disneyland. Theme park officials announce that they are having to lay off two of the seven dwarfs. No word yet as to which two.
Two Subo Fans Flee Site Clutching Bibles
Two Subo fans fled from their Subo site. They found out they'd been duped by atheists. When last seen they were clutching bibles. It's reported they have entered the Holierthanallofus Wit.Protec.Prog.
Hyphenated names can be funny.
Working in an area where many Mennonites live, a colleague told me that when they marry many hyphenate their family names. Anna Harder married Peter Dyck (pronounced Dick)and is now Mrs.Harder Dyck.
Ex Pres. Bill Clinton was put on the spot, yet again, by the press. You can guess the question: His answer, "Susan WHO?" Proving my point that he is the dumbest man on this planet.
Shakira's Latest Addition To Her Rock and Roll Memorabilia Collection
Shakira, a collector of rock and roll memorabilia has purchased a copy of the April 1972 Rolling Stone Magazine which focused on the band Blue Floyd, who would later change their name to Pink Floyd.
Got Breast Milk?
Daniel Angerer, a New York City chef says his special cheese recipe is made with milk from his wife's breasts. He smiles and states that the customers would never guess what goes into his salsa.
Nessy Kindnapped from Loch
"Yes it's true Nessy has been kidnapped - Nessynapped - from the Loch," confirmed Nessy's Minder Dennis Waterman. Further details are available in the News Section of The Spoof.
"Hola, And Welcome To Florida, The Land of El Sol"
It is now official. Due to the large number of Cubans living in Florida, the state has voted to make Spanish the state's official language.
The Biggest News In The History of Las Vegas
Las Vegas, Nevada, has asked the Nevada Senate to vote on changing the city's name from Las Vegas to the much more appropriate Las Chips.
The Hoppingest Kangaroo In The History of Australia
Game wardens in Australia have found a kangaroo that can hop at an amazing 103 mph. They do not know if it is a male or a female due to the fact that no one has been able to catch the little shit.
James Taylor's Oxymoron Song
James Taylor's 2010 Version: "Fire And Acid Rain."
Deep Purple - The Smokin' Section Band
Deep Purple's 2010 Version: "Smoke On The Polluted Water."
Cleveland's Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Museum - New Article (12)
The 12 foot tall stuffed white rabbit that Jefferson Airplane used as one of their stage props during their concerts. (Thanks to Sir Spoofer Skoob for graciously loaning the rabbit to the museum.)
The Highly Immature Ashton Kutcher
Ashton Kutcher was recently asked what he wants to be when he grows up. He replied that he is already grown up. He was told that he better look again.
The Original Negro Name Of Yuma, Arizona
The black citizens of Yuma, Arizona have started a petition drive to change the name of the city to the original negro name Yumama.
Cleveland's Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Museum - New Article (13)
The British maid's outfit that actress Dimples Puckingham wore on the 1970, 45 rpm sleeve cover of Led Zeppelin's Living Loving Maid.
Paris Hilton's New Sexy-Ass Perfume
The new Paris Hilton Perfume is named Eau du I Don't Have To Do A Damn Thing Because My Daddy Is Rich As Hell.
You'll not believe this Brucie's still alive.
It's true, Bruce Forsyth is STILL ALIVE. He has been seen tottering around with his 'cuddly toy'. Sorry, third wife.
I'm sticking out my chin here. 'Didn't 'e do well?'
Cleveland's Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Museum - New Article (04)
A rare charcoal drawing of ZZ Top guitarist Billy Gibbons without his fake hillbilly beard.
And My Date Will Have The Fried Moby Dick
Los Angeles Susi Restaurant caught selling illegal whale meat. Private inspectors confiscate three blow holes as evidence.
Catholics lose faith
The latest:Catholics lose faith. Mary and Margaret are so pissed off about Spoof writers being invited to the Vatican that one is moving to the Protestant camp and her friend is going to become a Jew.
Someone Has Burglarized An Arkansas KKK Office
The Ku Klux Klan office in Arkadelphia, Arkansas was burglarized. Apparently someone broke into the KKK storage room and made off with 14 boxes of Ohio Blue Tip Kitchen Matches.
Did Jesus save my bacon?
A drunken bank cashier from Salford claims that an image of Jesus has appeared on his frying pan after he burnt some of the pork product. Hmmm... Jews? Bacon? Doubtful!!
The Gulf Formerly Know As Mexico
President Obama upset with the fact that Mexico is not doing any thing to stop the flow of illegal immigrants has said he will change the name of the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of Texas.
Teenagers to Be Given Sleep Lessons
Rip Van Winkle is to be employed by Glasgow City Council to ensure that teenagers get adequate sleep.
The Damn Dude Ranch Has To Close Down
A dude ranch in Montana has had to close down because it has run out of dudes.
Jail Sentences for Knife Crime Could Cost £80 Million
Providing jail sentences for knife crimes could cost around £80 million, however, critics say that this figure is just "a stab in the dark!And were certain that cuts could be made"
Chief Exorcist Claims the Devil Is in the Vatican
Father Gabriele Amorth, chief Roman Catholic exorcist claims that the devil is living in the Vatican. The Pope is said to be angry. The devil, a.k.a. The Father of Lies says: "Now that IS a lie!!!"
Marvin Gaye's Grapevine
Marvin Gaye's 2010 Version: "I Heard It Through The Habanero Bush."
The Game Show City of New Mexico
The town of Truth Or Consequences, New Mexico, has decided to change the town's name to the more modern Wheel Of Fortune, New Mexico.
Three of Michael Jackson's Bodyguards Reveal A "Little Secret"
Three of Michael Jackson's bodyguards finally speak out about MJ. All three say that Jackson had a very little and weird looking nose.
Denmark Has Got One Serious Problem
Danish health authorities have stated that Denmark has been hit by the pornographic flu.
The Ranting and Raving, But Smooth-Skinned Glenn Beck
Glenn Beck has stated that he wants to get more in touch with his feminine side. He has just announced that he will be changing his name to Glenda Becky.
Elton John's Up, Up, and Away Song
Elton John's 2010 Version: "Viagra Rocket Man."
Cleveland's Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Museum - New Article (15)
Two adult life-sized stuffed buffaloes, six stuffed chickens, and 37 stuffed Canadian mallards that were donated by Neil Young for the museum's All Things Neil Young Room.
Cleveland's Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Museum - New Article (11)
An autographed copy of Elton John's autobiography entitled, Elton John - A Fairy Tail Story.
Willie Nelson And The Story About The Star Spangled Banner
Willie Nelson who is close to 100, was asked what his favorite song is. He replied that it's the Star Spangled Banner because he actually met the writer Francis Scott Key.
Tiger Woods In The News Again
Unfortunately it's only for his golf comeback.
Cleveland's Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Museum - New Article (06)
An extremely rare photo of Carlos Santana shown swimming across the Rio Grande into Texas as a young boy of 8. (Photo courtesy of The Border Patrol).
Cleveland's Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Museum - New Article (14)
A 45 rpm single from 1960, which listed Gladys Knight & The Pips by their original name, Gladys Knight & The Ho Hunters.
Academic Claims That Women Invented Beer
A leading academic has claimed that women invented beer. Meanwhile, Al Gore is up in arms because he claims that he invented beer as well as most things.
Ian Huntley Wants Paedophile Priests Jailed
Says he could use the company.
Happy Birthday to Susan Boyle
After an up and down year, here we are April 1st. It's Miss Boyle's birthday as well. She is in Japan for a massive concert tonight.
Congratulations and well done Susan, we are so proud of you.
The Thing That Paula Abdul Misses The Most About Simon Cowell
Paula Abdul revealed that the thing that she misses the most about not being on American Idol is Simon Cowell feeling her all up and down underneath the judges table.
The Fantastically Versatile Kirstie Alley
Kirstie Alley has refused Disneyland's offer of allowing them to turn her into a brand new amusement park ride.
French Man Becomes Oil Magnate Overnight
Esat Altindagoglu has struck oil in his Parisian home - an icon of the Virgin Mary has been crying tears of oil. He has collected several hundred gallons of the stuff in just two months!
The Mount Formerly Know As Rushmore
There are rumors circulating throughout South Dakota that the state is considering tearing down Mount Rushmore and replacing it with a Super Wal-Mart.
Cleveland's Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Museum - New Article (02)
Madonna's first training bra, which her mother bought her when she was only six months old. (Training bra donated by Warren Beatty).
Cleveland's Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Museum - New Article (03)
The Dave Clark Five's very first album entitled, Introducing The Dave Clark Four.
Cleveland's Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Museum - New Article (09)
A photo of Crosby Stills Nash & Young taken in 1969, where Stephen Stills is asking a Pennsylvania state trooper how to get to Woodstock.
Jihad Jane had bomb on her wrist
Jihad Jane had a bomb on her wrist
she wanted to be a Terror Wrist.
The World's Shortest Man Dies Aged 21
The world's shortest man has died at the age of 21 which makes a new record of being the world's shortest-lived, shortest man.
Paris Hoilton Movie #49
After her former personal hot video, Paris Hilton decides to personally star in updated version of "12 Horny Men"
Paris Hilton Movie #51
After her former personal hot video, Paris Hilton decides to personally star in updated version of "Saving Ryan's Privates
Melbourne F1 GP Latest
Like watching a conga.
Health and Safety Gone Mad!
A JCB and 4 men will be needed to remove an old mattress. The job would take 4 weeks but they need to hurry as JCB no longer produced diggers and if it broke down then no spares will be available.
The Rudy Giuliani Traveling Carnival Comes To Town
Ex-Mayor of New York City Rudy Giuliani has just published his latest book. It is an autobiography entitled "Stuttering, Lisping, and Acting Like I'm Some Kind of American Hero."
Chelsea v Aston Villa - Final Score
We'll bring it to you as soon as we've counted all the goals.
Cleveland's Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Museum - New Article (05)
An old photograph of Fleetwood Mac before Stevie Nicks started dressing like one of the Salem witches and when her singing voice was actually pretty. (Photo courtesy of Vice-President Joe Biden).
Cleveland's Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Museum - New Article (07)
A San Francisco concert poster that introduced Linda Ronstadt's back up band, the Eagles, who were known at the time as The Canaries.
Cleveland's Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Museum - New Article (08)
A public service video for birth control showing the members of The Mamas and The Papas telling the viewers to avoid becoming mamas and papas by making sure to use condoms and to use them properly.
Cleveland's Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Museum - New Article (10)
The only photo in existence of the Jackson Five, when they were known as The Five of Spades.
Sunnis in Iraq
Why do Sunnis in Iraq worship Allah you would think they would worship the Sun
Teenagers Can Become Less Grumpy
According to Sleep Scotland, if teenagers get enough sleep, they become less grumpy. If the experiments are successful, then they will be tried on politicians!
Samcam pregnant but call it the gynae ward
From Conservative Central Office. Priority message to all candidates at the forthcoming General Election. Push the samcam pregnancy at all times but never say Labour Suite.
RMT To Strike
65% turnout for strike ballot. 35% late due to leaves and wrong kind of snow.
Little Bo Peep Has Lost Her Sheep
Again? Can't that woman hang onto anything?
Give Them A Bad Name
Police refuse to name cannibalistic murderers on the run 'because of their RIGHT to privacy'
Rednecks & Peckerheads
Australia PM's fury as comedian Robin Williams labels Aussies 'English rednecks'. Later apologizes, says he meant 'English Peckerheads'
Millions of women suffering bad eyesight because they 'don't want glasses to ruin their looks', especially from walking into glass doors.
Belgium Open Minded
Belgium set to become first European country to ban the burkha, bra!
Paris Hilton #50
After her former personal hot video, Paris Hilton decides to personally star in updated version of "The Silence Of The Lambskins"
Obama healthcare bill. Republicans attack it and say European Nanny State. Democrats cheer as millions of Americans will benefit.
Europeans, shrug their shoulders and ask what is the problem?
Simon Bolivar Youth Orchestra of Venezuala
Horror of horrors, if all the trumpets are melted down, we shall never hear these kids playing Danzon No 2 again. Where's my download gone?
Holly Willoughby and Fearne Cotton lesbian lovers
Shoot. I meant Fern Brittan.
Asda welcomes 'jamas
Asda has issued a statement today reassuring all the scrubbers that are barred from shopping at Tesco in their jim jams are welcome at Asda
She: "And what would you be now if it weren't for my money?"
He: "A bachelor."
If There's Any Justice In The World
We won't have to listen to Lemar.
Salem, Oregon - The City Named After A Cigarette
The Oregon senate has told the mayor of Salem, that the name of their town will have to be changed due to the fact that it is the name of a cigarette. The new proposed name is Candy Cigarette, Oregon
iPhone new app revealed
Watch and learn how to do heel surgery. Then practise on Becks yourself. iPhone app "how to heal to heel" coming soon.
Man sentenced to nine months for having 2 wives
A Welshman was sentenced to nine months in prison for having 2 wives. He believes that the sentence is 'excessively harsh' because he now has to put up with 2 mother-in-laws.
Low Pressure System Moves In, Changing Local Weather
For the next 72 hours, "I've Got Sunshine, On a Cloudy Day."
Low Pressure System Moves In, Changing Local Weather
Depressed moods expected to start the new week as "Rainy Days and Mondays Always Get Me Down."
Low Pressure System Moves In, Changing Local Weather
That blowing dust is now "Gone With The Wind."
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