Order by:
Rating:

Mel No Sale

Fosters Beer cancels all it's planned commercials with Mel Gibson. "Not sure what would come out of his mouth!"

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

He'll Be Back!

Astronomers Discover Monster Star! California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger is missing.

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

Thank You Sir!

Don't report shoplifters if they've stolen goods worth less than £20, police tell retailers. Man runs out showing bag of stuff he's stolen that just rang up lower that £20!

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

Fruit VS ESAD

EU spends £12m employing 200 researchers to conclude fruit is good for you but eating shit will cause you to die.

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

Helps Many Family Budgets

Study: Marijuana Prices to go down the pot if legalized.

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

Pot In The Mail

Mich. Woman Surprised To Find Marijuana In Mail. "Just what I needed and they came and took it away. I'll never tell Alma Simpson anything again, the blabbermouth."


written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

We're Used To 95-Year-Olds

Senators uncertain Elana Kagan is senile enough for the Supreme Court, but approve her anyway.

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

He's In The Hall

President Obama orders daughters to quit talking about "Uncle Abe". "Freaks me out!"

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

Hillary Thought They Knew

Hillary Clinton says that she & her daughter are all right now & that it was simply hysteria that brought on the shooting spree and the dead squirrel. General comment from reporters" "Say what?"

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

Taht "Second" Back!

One second of our lifetime taken away in 2008 restored by congress so that they may spent one more second in their political offices!

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

High Unemployment

Long term unemployment beginning to hit record high and that doesn't include all the Democrats losing their jobs in November.

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

50% Cheney Approval

Poll: 50% now say that Dick Cheney was not a bad vice president. "Since we never know what any of them do, I guess we vote 50% for all of them", says spokesperson.

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

Don't Know, Don't Tell

President Obama says banks cannot use excuse of 'don't know, don't tell' if they are or are not in good shape.

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

Us Too Big To Fail!

After three-day conference of leaders in China over US loans, they have determined that the US is too big to fail. "our own money might become worthless."

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

"We've Had It!" You're Hired!"

With approval ratings of 11% and the US more in debt everyday, the "Doomsayers" seem to be the only ones hiring right now!

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

They Looked Hard

Blagojevich states that he had an internal investigation of himself and that they had found nothing wrong.

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

Latest On South Park!

VA man who threatened 'SOUTH PARK' creators arrested on federal terrorism charge...Kenny Dies!

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

Reid Cracking

Harry Reid: Auto Bailout Probably Saved FORD (?). Ford didn't ask for nor get a bailout.

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

Oil Lying Low!

Gulf skimmer boats having trouble finding any oil: US official. "We may have to send in subs."

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

Cutting The Sh*t Out Of The Budget!

Budget Cuts Force City To Stop Buying Toilet Paper..."Bring Your Own Toilet Paper To Work Day now all five days.

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

Few More Months To Go

PACK YOUR BAGS: CONGRESS CONFIDENCE AT 11%! Could be down to 5% by November.

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

Ready If Needed

Gunbattles paralyze Mexican city across from Texas. Sheriff rounds up the posse in preparation.

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

Jobless Benefits Extended Again

House approves additional jobless benefits through 2020 or whenever the money press breaks down.

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

Still More Depression On The Way

Tropical depression races toward BP's leaky well, US depression.

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

Williams Quits Sponging Up Oil

Robin Williams tells BP Oil that he's tired after two months of soaking up oil spill. "Get some other hairy-ass from Hollywood for awhile."

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

Lindsay Lohan Upset About Prison Introduction

"When I got here, they gave me a full body cavity search. I kept asking them to do it again and telling them where it felt good, but they ignored me!"

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 22 July 2010
Rating:

Couple really Pissed!

Couple sue former owners of £1.7m home for not telling them about road being built next to their hot tub, refrigerator, beds.

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

Icy Crap From The Sky

Huge chunk of icy crap falls thousands of feet from plane and smashes couple flat. I'm sorry, that should "couple's flat".

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

Could Be Right!

Crook frogmarched to police station completely naked with 'THIEF' sign around his neck and "Small Penis" sign hanging from scrotum sues employer for £90,000 for 'being humiliated'

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

A Garden Party

Buckingham Palace bars BNP leader Nick Griffin just hours before he was due to attend garden party. "There was Mr. Hughes in Dylan' shoes".

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

Nick Griffin banned from Palace Party

Nick Griffin, leader of the BNP, was today banned from attending a party at Buckingham Palace said a Palace spokesman due to the fact the he is, "a bit of a cunt."

written by The Jonner, 22 July 2010
Rating:

San Diego Comic-Con Underway

Fans swarm San Diego as Comic-Con gets under way as laughing snorts heard a far as three blocks away.

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

Fans Swarm Comic-Con

Fans swarm San Diego as Comic-Con gets under way. Sales of pimple creams up 1000 percent.

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

Bad As FEMA?

EPA takes new look at gas drilling, water issues, after 50,000 deep well drillings.

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

Tyson Denies It!

AP Exclusive: Turkey ill-prepared for earthquake as most would die in large buildings. However, this does not include wild turkeys.

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

Now That That Has Ben Cleared Up!

Kyrgyz police detain ex-president's brother or half brother on his mother's side but in previous marriage, now determined to be illegal outside country.

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

You Heard It Here First!

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie settle privacy claim in private, whatever it was.

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

Newly Discovered Biggest Star

"It's burning itself off with such intensity that it shines at nearly 10 million times the luminosity of the sun, say scientists. "Could interfere with TV reception or burn us to a crisp."

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

Biggest Star Discovered

Scientists find most massive star ever discovered. The "Mother Of All Stars" missed for many years.

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

Exercises Threaten Region

NKorea warns US exercises threaten region. "Yours, not ours."

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

Gibson Tapes, Jokes Circulate

Where Gibson tapes circulate online, jokes follow. Apparently this has never happened before.

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

Prooves 300 Different Interpretations!

Archaeologists make new find near Stonehenge. Get ready for the nuts to be turned loose.

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

Ecology Surrenders

Pipeline leaks in Alaska's oldest oil field. Three more in China and two in Saudi Arabia.

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

Just Raised Regular Price To Hybrids

Ford will offer hybrid at same price as gas model at as low as $35-40,000.

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

Action In The Gulf

Storm developing near Gulf could damage oil well further, sent ashore hundreds of dead jellyfish to roam the area.

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

Attack Of The Giant Dead Jellyfish

Large dead jellyfish stings beachgoers in NH. Followed people off the beach and caught some on the street nearby.

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

Dead Jellyfish Attacks

Large dead jellyfish stings beachgoers in NH. Dead jellyfish went from person to person.

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

More Bullying

Workplace Bullying: New York Bill Targets Abusive Bosses, especially among pimps, employees.

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

Workplace Bullying

Workplace Bullying: New York Bill Targets Abusive Bosses, especially the Mafia.

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

Jobless Benefits Needed Another Ten Years?

Additional jobless benefits hinge on House vote, number of voters in November considered.

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

Debt Cancelled

IMF cancels $268 million Haiti debt. Haiti promises to sacrifice 100 chickens for good luck.

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

More Excuses?

Ships ready to leave leaky well as storm brews, possible earthquake, volcano.

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

New Az. Law

May-December marriages made illegal in Arizona, except for illegal aliens. "They can do what they want..somewhere else!"

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

Plane Lands On Her

Flight hits severe turbulence over Kansas; 30 injured, including one fatality, the wicked witch of the West.

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

Scum Of The Earth

Cops: Burglar used crucifix to pry open church poor boxes for widows and orphans, ran over three dogs and knocked an old lady off her walker pulling out.

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

No More Booty Builders

The Postlogs Cereal Company say that there "Booty Builders" cereal is being cut because of too much fiber.

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

Melts Pulls Pullfingers

Melts Candy Company say they will not be making anymore Pullfinger Candy Bars.

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

Brain Surgery

A lady in a Houston, Texas hospital claims that she woke up during her operation just in time to hear, "Watch, I touch he brain here an her right foot shoots out! Oops! Sorry Nurse."

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
Rating:

Chewing Away

President Obama is now up to four packs of nicotine gum a day.
Cameron, Netanyahu say his breath smells like shit.

written by Bureau, 22 July 2010
« Jun 2010 July 2010 Aug 2010 »
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1st
96
2nd
32
3rd
91
4th
100
5th
87
6th
97
7th
96
8th
81
9th
103
10th
70
11th
69
12th
127
13th
96
14th
114
15th
100
16th
85
17th
123
18th
97
19th
93
20th
68
21st
49
22nd
59
23rd
80
24th
66
25th
95
26th
68
27th
114
28th
87
29th
100
30th
97
31st
91
 

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