Order by:
Rating:

Economy Up Some

New study shows that the Rich are spending again. Most of them are purchasing homes in Canada, Central America.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Another Record-Setting Season!

Detroit Lions trade their first seven draft choices this year for the Brooklyn Bridge.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

BP Oil: Things Looking Better

BP Oil hopes to recapture some of their losses over oil spill with new movie: "Fishing Impossible" with Tom Cruise!

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Shared dreams reported among friends

Increased unemployment has allowed more people to sleep in, and many are starting to report sharing dreams with friends. The phenomenon has been launching some dreamers' new careers. Studies to follow

written by Skews Me, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Same Size, Extra Seed

Victim of "Bigger Penis" ad finds out from chemist that what he has been rubbing on is Miracle-Grow!

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Everybody Cutting Back

Clown college having to cut down on number of whoopee cushion, pies to have only shaving lather, a sharing of big shoes.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

IT's Gonna Be Rough!

Scientific study say there won't be enough adult diapers ready in time for learning of asteroid approach!

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

"Olly vamp, olly balls, a firer o belly Martin!"

Believers say Nostradamus foresaw big oil leak in the gulf, Twilight movie series and the death of Steinbrenner!

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

May All Drown If Caught In Downpour.

New All-French cable channel not doing well with newscasters and reporters having their noses in the air. However, the seem to like President Obama.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Three Days After He Got Here

Wealthy Nigerian who earned millions from scams of elderly Americans comes to the U.S. and purchases the Brooklyn Bridge!

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Nigerians Getting Wealthy

A new poll shows that nearly 50% of all Nigerians have $50,000 in the bank, $100,000 of it being yours for a small up-front fee.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Troops Wecomed By Dr. Phil

The Pentagon has announced that all returning soldiers from Iraq and Afghanistan will be booked to see Dr. Phil to help them to readjust.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Already Have One In Mind

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart say that if they do get married they want to adopt a highway their first year together.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

A Natural Second Product

Dr. Scholl's introduces his new coffins that are lined for odor control and comfort.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Try Not To Happen Again

Mel Gibson officially apologizes for getting caught hating Jews and Blacks again.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Flower Kills Plant

Suspect claims he didn't plant it.

written by Balthazar, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Some Good Shit!

Indonesia's top Islamic body says it may forbid followers from drinking the world's most expensive coffee - extracted from the dung of a civet cat - over concerns it might be unclean.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Wesley Snipes is now a "homofighter" and not a "vampire fighter" anymore!

The Blade has been sentenced to prison and has vowed to stop hunting vampires because he has to concentrate on keeping prison homos off his back, The Aryan Brotherhood refused to protect him, WHY?

written by Jaggedone, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Yorkshire Ripper fails with his parole claim!

The Yorkshire Ripper failed with his attempt for early parole, the Judge asked "why did you bother, you're not dead yet, only then will you be free."
There is justice after all!

written by Jaggedone, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Punk Pink falls out of ther basket!

Pink used to be punk and now she's a wannabee popstar and trapeze artist, whilst attempting to sing in a trapeze, she missed a note, swivelled and fell, maybe she should have remained a punk!

written by Jaggedone, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Police Warning about mistake about warning!

OH MY GOD!!................RRRUUUUUNNNNN!!!!!!!!

written by armfeetandtoe, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Argentina becomes the first Latin American country to legalise same-sex marriages nationwide

The civilized World welcomes Argentina, now their just waiting for America to understand.

written by Balthazar, 19 July 2010
Rating:

The Netherlands get the 2018 World Championship Soccer

Full out cage fights between the CEO's of the beer companies will determine who will be the main sponsor.

written by Balthazar, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Rooftop Bar Loses Another One

Another victim of Rooftop Bars over the weekend. Despite fence and barbed wire, thirty so far this year!

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

States Sue Feds

Five Great Lakes states sue feds over Asian crap. That should be "over Asian Carp!"

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

No "House That Ruth Built!"

In memory of George Steinbrenner, the Yankees will refer to their new stadium as "The Farm That Steinbrenner Bought".

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

VP Never Listens!

Vice President Joe Biden Responds to McChrystal's words before McChrystal can finish talking.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Pakistan's Elite

Pakistan's Elite Pay Few Taxes, Widening Gap. Unlike here in the United States.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Obama Wants More Jobless Benefits

Obama gets tough on jobless benefits as so many Demos expected to lose jobs in November.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

DC Metro Changing

As D.C. Metro congestion grows, so does anger. An odd occurrence that has apparently never happened before.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Facebook Changing Everything

Facebook now have 500 million users. Now there's only two degrees of separation.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Obama Spending Madness Halted

GOP says they'll support extension of aid only if the bill is paid for, doesn't add to national debt. In other words, when pigs fly!

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Some Drilling Remains

Concerns on oil seepage remain as buried oil pressures it's way out in dozens of small sea woodpecker holes.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

The Washington Bureau

Post: Our government has built a national security and intelligence system so big, so complex and so hard to manage, no one really knows what the shit they're doing.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

China Passes U.S.

China Passes USA as World's Biggest Energy Consumer. Today, 1,424,655,000 are watching 2,909,868,000 televisions.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Another W.H. Party

ANOTHER PARTY AT WHITE HOUSE? Tonight's will make 9 parties and 7 vacations. Meanwhile Americans down to eating their young.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Vacation Interview

President Obama's Mother-In-Law says that she's tired of hearing about her son-in-law's bungling. "After 20 years, you'd think I'd be used to hearing it", she stated.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Edwards Bald-Faced Liar

It was so hot in North Carolina yesterday that John Edward's wife shaved him bald while he slept. He's now on suicide watch.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

"We Shal Overpay!"

Big march on Washington planned this fall over those people making over $300,000 per year being taxed. Police expect dozens!

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

130-Years-Old

World's Oldest Profession celebrates...I'm sorry, world's oldest person celebates..celebrates her 130th birthday.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Too Late Now!

Many lamenting after finding out that last month was the warmest June on record. "Why didn't you tell us while we could have enjoyed it?"

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

So Far, So Good

BP Oil reports that there has been only two more oil spills in the United States since President Obama ordered them to stop drilling.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

All Gone To Look For America

Census workers through, back to counting the cars on the New Jersey Turnpike.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Worked Till Death

Millions more to wait to 68 for their pension as government to speed up plans to raise age of retirement. "Could be 70 by the time most reach 68.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Try To Not Lt Him Go Free!

Releasing Lockerbie bomber was a 'terrible mistake', Cameron will tell Obama. "We'll give you Charles Manson", says Obama.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

"Then I'll Drive It Myself", Says Blind Pasenger.

Muslim bus drivers, who don't bathe for weeks, refuse to let guide dogs on board because dogs are unclean.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Didn't Even Know It!

Power company tells customer she is dead. "I knew I had been losing weight", says customer.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Could Explain Tsunami

Indonesian Muslims told to change prayer direction after praying for 500 years toward Hades.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Inception Wins Big!

'Inception' earns dreamy reception with $60.4M, say writer had brilliant conception.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Just A Coincidence!

Scientists to make detailed map of Calif. coast during summer bikini season.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Very Slow Recovery

Economists say recovery continues, but usual snail's pace slows.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Depend On Government Handouts!

Independents, those made dependent, crucial to Dems' election prospects.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Obama, GOP Square Off!

Obama to GOP: Restore jobless benefits. GOP: Where are all the jobs you promised these people?

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Clinton Charm Failing

Bill Clinton tries to win over skeptical Pakistan but lady won't even remove veil!

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Obama Not Worried About Debt?

Obama to GOP: "Restore jobless benefits for another five years. We can print more money!"

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

What Have They Done To The Rain?

Gulf forecast: Cloudy with a chance of tar balls. Everyone advised to wear slickers.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Afican Union Opens

African Union opens summit despite twin bombings. Twins told to stay home.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Clinton Bargains With Pakistan

Clinton tries to win over skeptical Pakistan by offering more jobs as taxi drivers in NYC.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Watch That Seat!

Zsa Zsa Gabor having surgery to replace broken hip after sitting down too hard.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Picky Eating

Is Picky Eating an Early Sign of Autism? It's according to what they have picked", says specialist.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Losing Big Everyday Buffets

Trim those sails at sea with a fitness cruise. Plan toi hit rough seas on the way home so passengers can lose what they have gained on the trip!

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Mossad Fights Extradiction

Alleged Mossad agent fights extradition to Germany even though Germans say they would set him free, on the autobahn.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Nkorea May Steal Spotlight

North Korea expected to steal ASEAN spotlight, aim it on Kim and his new dance number.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

SF To Change To Queer City!

San Francisco to change it's name to "Queer City" unless vetoed by Governor. "We will be voting no", states member of the Queer City Giants baseball team.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

HIV Linked To Poverty

In US cities, HIV linked more to poverty than race. Also, more drug abuse, alcoholism. "This is really a surprise to us", says study leader, Ms. Rose Glasses.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

"I'll Never Forget Whatever It Was!"

No autos on the autobahn: Germans party on highway. Winos fulfill their dreams of sleeping on the nation's busiest major highway.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Autobahn Closed

No autos on the autobahn: Germans party on highway. 1200 bicycle pile-up reported on side road.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Alternate Routes Not Planned Well

No autos on the autobahn: Germans party on highway. However, farmers on side roads report that speeding cars ran over 300 cows and sheep.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Dreamliner Lands Safely

Dreamliner makes first overseas landing. "It did fine", states one passenger. "And we were afraid that it would be a nightmare."

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

BP Oil Cap Closed Today

Feds let BP keep oil cap closed for another day, despite leakage at well, from CEO's pants.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

What's Wrong with this Vacation?

President Obama, sitting on a beach in Maine, advises Americans to vacation at gulf state beaches now that the BP oil leak has been stopped. The president plans to send Michele later this week!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Water Pipes Banned

Gaza's Hamas rulers have banned women from smoking water pipes in cafes. President Obama, House Speaker Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Reid are confused as to why women would be smoking plumbing!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Something Smells Bad Here

Democratic far left liberal loon Congressman wants to redefine marriage to mirror his own situation. That is, a civil union between his head and his ass!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Republicans Learn from BP Oil Leak Containment

Republicans want to place a permanent cap on the current Democratic Congress's disastrous spending spree to stop the hemorrhaging of American taxpayer money, before the flow bankrupts the country.




written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Nanny State Spending Phobia

A light rail train strikes woman, who walked into the train. Democratic liberal far left loons want $300 Bil to cover the right of way in a concrete tunnel. Make it $600 Bil, as also need overpasses!




written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 July 2010
Rating:

It Ain't Broke Anymore, Don't Unfix it!

Custom-built cap finally cuts off oil flow from BP's broken well. US Government wants to release millions more gallons while connecting the cap to surface tankers to collect oil via a mile of pipes.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Intrusive Government

Health Care Reform bill requires all American citizens provide the federal government height, weight, BMI, penis length and breast size. There are now 325 million illegal immigrants living in the USA!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 July 2010
Rating:

How Not to Make American Friends

Obama condemns double homicide bombing of Iran mosque as terrorist attack. Iran's Parliament Speaker says "Americans cannot make an excuse in this case; they were behind the terrorist act in Zahedan."

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Experience Counts

Former President Carter sent President Obama a telegram stating "at least when I made a nutty mistake in the Oval Office I had executive experience as being Governor of Georgia & was a peanut farmer!"

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Environmentalists Recommend DDT

Latest environmentalist concern is rainwater runoff, solved by using rain barrels & artificial wetlands nearby. To quell mosquitoes breeding in the stagnant water, environmentalists recommend DDT use!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Democratic Foot-in Mouth Disease Rampant

The old "Madam" could be gone, if the Democrats lose the majority of seats in the house in 2010 elections. The Democrats have formed their usual circular firing squad (Mo Udall) to debate the issue!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 July 2010
Rating:

BP Oil Leak Stopped

You know the $400 billion in stimulus money the US Treasury Department can't find? In typical Democratic liberal far left fashion, they threw money at the problem all in pennies!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 July 2010
Rating:

2010 Election Democratic Party Campaign Theme

Why would Americans want to elect an inexperienced fiscally responsible Republican conservative, when an experienced arrogant, incompetent tax and spend Democratic liberal already occupies the set?

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Oppose Stimulus!

Most of GOP opposed to another stimulus package. "Our packages are stimulated enough!"

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Critics Judge Movie

Critics agree that the movie "Cyrus" is one of the movies that came out in 2010!

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Small Town Hero

Small town hero gets 19:11 minutes of fame. "The only thing that I know it could have been were all those dead nurses", says smiling John Brayne.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Oldest Opera Singer Dies

The world's oldest opera singer, Cantonese Opera star Luo Pinchao, has died. He was 98. Luo Hung on until a fat lady was found to sing to him.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Computer Virus

New Computer virus brings up pornography, penis at random.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Finally Smarten Up!

Taliban Bomb-Making class finally figure out that each student needs to learn independently, at least 100 yards apart.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Gitmo's Special Request

Gitmo prisoners demand strip searches should Sarah Palin ever become Secretary of State.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Biden Brushes Off Talk, Hair

VP Biden brushes off talk of big Democratic losses in fall, several long blond hairs on his shoulder.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

Hillary Busy

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton in Pakistan to bust her thighs! I'm sorry, that should be, to bolster ties.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
Rating:

PETA, ACLU Team Up

PETA hires ACLU to help protect pigeons rights to crap on statues, parked cars.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2010
« Jun 2010 July 2010 Aug 2010 »
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
 
1st
96
2nd
32
3rd
91
4th
100
5th
87
6th
97
7th
96
8th
81
9th
103
10th
70
11th
69
12th
127
13th
96
14th
114
15th
100
16th
85
17th
123
18th
97
19th
93
20th
68
21st
49
22nd
59
23rd
80
24th
66
25th
95
26th
68
27th
114
28th
87
29th
100
30th
97
31st
91
 

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