Order by:
Rating:

Bidding Already Started

Cities around the country have put in their bids for the highest bid to get the Hell's Angel not to have their reunion there. Low bidder gets the reunion. Rest pay cash.

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

Royal Navy to Donate Five Rusting Warships to Somalia

Britain is to give Somalia five Rusty warships free of charge. They will then take them hostage and demand a ransom. "Let's see how they like it!" said Captain Slogg from Admiralty House today.

written by IN SEINE, 03 January 2010
Rating:

Ayep Yep Yep

Latest census figures showing that dorks and village idiots outnumber smarty pants by 2-1 in spot check.

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

Montgomerie: "Mystique" Gone Forever from the Tiger

Joining the likes of Monty, who never had any.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 03 January 2010
Rating:

Mail Man Attacked

In Osaka, Japan mail deliverer on Segway first to be bitten by robotic dog.

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

Church Selling Indulences

Church forced to begin selling indulgences to cover costs of multi-million dollar alter boys lawsuits.

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

Britain and U.S. Close Embassies in Yemen

Yet another Peace Odyssey to begin.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 03 January 2010
Rating:

Five Dead

Oregon tree sitter jumps to her death on purpose after accidentally sitting on four Osprey eggs.

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

Avoids Eye Contact During Statement

Moe Howard, the new Czar of US medicare, says that under the new health plan, everyone will get to "pick two" among choices offered.

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

Smoking Outside

In Amsterdam, Netherlands all juke joints now have to have sign posted: All Joints Are To Be Smoked Outside".

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

Leeds Utd stuff Man Utd and Sir Alex kicks the cleaning lady!

Man U boss Sir Alex was so enraged after losing to Leeds Utd he stormed out, kicked everything and everyone in range, including the cleaning lady and Roonie's Ferrari, screaming "Fuck off Laddie"!!

written by Jaggedone, 03 January 2010
Rating:

Blow-Out In Cuba

Report: Fidel Castro's head still on shoulders although set back a couple of inches after attack by Suicide Cigar Bomber.

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

Lieberman To Attend

Independent Joe Lieberman chosen to squeak at the latest Tea Party by conservatives.

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

Tree Sitter Dead

Tree sitter's death in California, after being torn limb from limb, caused by obesity, according to Coroner.

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

Gone To Aunt's House

Home-schooling mother expels her some for deadly fart causing window to have to be opened in frigid Minnesota.

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

Little Debbie Ding Donged

Little Debbie Cookies crumble as she declares bankruptcy after completely running out of dough.

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

"Not His!"

After receiving visit from strangers, smiling lady in Nevada says her baby, "Tiger Woods, Jr" does not belong to the famous golfer.

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

Ford's New Ecco Cars

Ford has announced it's plans to provide passengers with more solar heat with enlarged windshields. Running heater less saves money.

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

Big Sales Issue

Tossed by kid in Hummer, The New York Times Sunday Special breaks man's foot, kills his dog.

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

Teens Loving Them

McDonald's new Black Bean & Beer Soaked Veggie Burger declared illegal in three states already because of air pollution.

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

In The Mail

The Mutual of Omaha Life Insurance Company are sending out their new booklet, "Everybody Dies".

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

Knights Collect For Charity

The Knights of Columbo announce their thirtieth "Just One More Thing" clothing drive.

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

"Our Brothers Have Come For Us!"

Space Age Religious Sect commit suicide overnight after kids prank of launching big shiny helium balloons into night sky near Air Force Base.

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

King Hires Consultants

Stephen King hiring ex-life insurance salesmen to tell him the most horrible ways for people to die.

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

Looked Like Lightning Bugs

Missing climbers of Yucca Mountain all aglow after being rescued overnight.

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

2012 Race Shaping Up

Aide to President Obama says that if Republicans run Sarah Palin as presidential candidate, Obama to ditch Joe Biden and ask George Clooney to be his running mate.

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

Both Seeking First Victory In 2000's

College of the Canyon to meet College of the Redwoods in the First Annual Wuss Bowl!

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

"Freddie Mac, When Are You Coming Back?"

Ginnie Mae and Freddie Mac both having problems because of weak economy but cheap Cheesy Mac setting all kinds of record sales.

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

One Of Each?

Kirstie Alley swoons at New York restaurant after being offered choice of 12 deserts.

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

All Fired Up!

Company in South Carolina blames factory burning on recently fired employees.

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

Looks More Like Raul Now

Fidel Castro birthday event mired by whiskers catching on fire when candles blown out!

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

Amish Recall

The Amish Buggy Supply Company have announced the recall of over 1,000 horse feed bags. "natural" bags material causing horses to eat bags also.

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

Gore On Saving Water

Al Gore: "If millions of Americans would dig military-like latrines to crap in and cover up would save the nation's water supply." He himself would pay people in Central to balance his hockey credits.

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

Officials To Really Study Films

Thirteen so-called cheerleader wardrobe mishaps during post season minor Bowl football games on all 4 networks termed "Jumping The Shark!"

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

Including Gasoline

Latest poll among the Amish and Mennonite say that energy costs in the US not so bad.

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

Accents On The Rise

Geordie and Scouse accents on the rise as Britons 'look to protect their sense of identity'. Same thing for us'ns here in these newnited states.

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

Cavity Searches Called For

Body scanner wouldn't have foiled syringe bomber, says MP who worked on new machines. "Completely nude prison-type cavity searches the only way to go", say scanners.

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

Come See Our Global Warming

Britain faces coldest winter for 25 years as big freeze causes chaos for millions returning home after Christmas break. Invite that ass Al Gore to Britain for free vacation.

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

Bureau Of Blockheads

Jobs for illegal Nigerians, etc. at Home Office as dozens of NHS and public bodies ignore immigration laws. "Just could be the source of information to terrorists", admit leaders.

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

Limbaugh Tests OK

Limbaugh: Tests show no ailments after chest pain but "pain in the ass' apparently permanent.

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

Montana Allows Suicide

Montana 3rd state to allow doctor-assisted suicide, but not for the 150 or so that live there.

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

Porn To Run

China nabs 540,450 people for online porn in 2009, although many escape. Opens up new Porn Prison, with no computers allowed.

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

Tasmanian Devils Need Help

Scientists find clue to killer of Tasmanian devils, "It's their names", say scientists. "We need to change it to 'Tasmanian Sugar Critters'."

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

About Time!

Obama cites apparent al-Qaida link in bomb plot, Osama Bin Laden.

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

Cartoonint Attacker Shot

Reports: Cartoonist attacker earlier held in Kenya by Yosemite Sam. "Onery varmint got past me when I had a little shut-eye.

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

Obama's Set The Standards

Officials reflect on past year everywhere. Sit back, put up their feet at district and regional beer conferences.

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

Mexican Milestone

Mexico announces capture of their 500th alleged drug lord, a milestone.

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

All Killed Several Beers

South Carolina police nab man in Thanksgiving killings of at least a dozen turks.

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

Extremists Looking For New Attack Opportunities

US official: Extremists seek new ways to attack US, where moderates have failed.

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

Muslim-Hindu Rock Groups

Muslim-Hindu punk rock bands part of new movement to piss of the Taliban.

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

Another Jobs Bill

Will latest jobs bill really produce jobs? We have to get lucky sometimes", states Joe Biden, after it's been determined that it costs government $50,000 to create every $20,000 job.

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

Embassies Closed

US, UK, Yemen itself, close Yemen embassies after receiving al-Qaida threats.

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

Muslim-Hindu Punk Rock Bands Push Buttons

WTF?

written by Richard DagNabbit, 03 January 2010
Rating:

Gen. Betraysus Carries O'Bama Message to Yemen Leader

Hmmmm, seems the President forgot how to use the telephone.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 03 January 2010
Rating:

10,000 Lawyers Ready to Sue on Health Bill

Claiming violation of the Commerce clause of the US Constitution, the mass of lawyers will ultimately be paid with taxpayer funds for their follies.

What was it that Shakespeare once said?

written by Richard DagNabbit, 03 January 2010
Rating:

Court Orders Defied in Lesbian Custody Fight

The two former lesbo partners have agreed to resolve the matter by a mud wrestling match to be hosted by Howard Stern and Jerry Springer. Loser must raise kid for next 15 years.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 03 January 2010
Rating:

US Security Official Says Al-Quaida Ready to Launch Attack on US Soil

The ominous fear generating quote instantly sent millions of Americans to the boot shaking closet in fear of whatever it was that official was referring to exactly. 'Tis the Season for Higher Taxes...

written by Richard DagNabbit, 03 January 2010
Rating:

Yemen Wins Duke Out with General Betraysus!

Brown and O'Bama give in to Yemeni Demands for Cash.
$ 160,000,000+ military arms, just for 2011....another score! UK and US Taxpayers Pay!

"Tis the Season to be...well, it really isn't anymore.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 03 January 2010
Rating:

The Met Office

thinks prism grinding machines are leading cause of whale beachings by producing whale like noises that travel hundreds of miles through the ground and then out to sea confusing whales into beaching.

written by Tcoah, 03 January 2010
Rating:

If No One Helps Me

DEADLINE: Iran warns West "I will make my own nuclear fuel said the little red hen."

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

He's Got A Mind To

Magician David Blaine has announced that early next month he will attempt to go fishing in a watermelon patch.

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

Will Vote On Gumby Status

Social Security has raised the standards for receiving crazy checks to one village idiot per village.

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
Rating:

He's Looking Over Your Shoulder Right now

Barack Obama has announced that he is forming a new Czar group to keep an eye on all the other czars who keep an eye on each of us.

written by Bureau, 03 January 2010
« Dec 2009 January 2010 Feb 2010 »
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88
2nd
66
3rd
63
4th
90
5th
84
6th
67
7th
87
8th
73
9th
51
10th
90
11th
83
12th
98
13th
80
14th
70
15th
91
16th
57
17th
63
18th
83
19th
95
20th
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22nd
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23rd
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24th
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31st
144

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