Order by:
Rating:

The French Escargo, A Little Bit Slow

American and others visiting Paris, France say that the meals there are not the same and that the chefs appear a bit sluggish.

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

Hemingway Winner

Skeleton with hole in his head wins the Ernest Hemingway lookalike contest in Key West, Florida.

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

Can't Strike

The employees at Electrolux Vaccums say that they can't afford to strike bu that their local bosses are treating them like dirt.

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

2010 "The Year for Change"

According to prospective PM, David Cameron says; "this is the year for change" which means that out of every pound that we spend on tax, the government will only take 99p and so we WILL get change!!

written by IN SEINE, 02 January 2010
Rating:

Asscrack And All!

Joe the Plumber mistakenly honored at the annual Kennedy Center event.

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

She Should Know

Miss Universe says that universe did not start with a Big Bang but a kind of snap, crackle, pop.

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

General Betrayus Arrives in Yemen

General to determine whether "regime needs changing".

written by Richard DagNabbit, 02 January 2010
Rating:

Mime Strike Talk Of Paris

No hope for Mime strike in France as "Talks" enter their 1,010th day.

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

Needn't Worry About It

US Congressman admits there's no real money in the social security fund. "We have that safely stored in a Nigerian Bank where it collects 100% interest per year."

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

Got One By Us!

President Obama angry over FBI/CIA overlooking the fact that a known terrorist has purchased the Brooklyn Bridge from former owners in Nigeria.

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

I Was Afraid

What did Danish cartoonist do while assassin came to kill him? He stayed in the panic room and drew pictures of himself filling his pants.

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

New IQ Standards Set

The Supreme Court has set a minimum intelligence for using the death penalty. At least half of the jury members must have an IQ of 70 or above.

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

2010 Situation Grows Desperate for Democrats

As it becomes clear O'Bama is just a little boy lost.

Who is running the government anyway?

'Tis the Season to Be Jolly, fa la la la laaa la la la laaaaa

written by Richard DagNabbit, 02 January 2010
Rating:

Five Things Your Insurer Won't Tell You

(1)They're in the business of screwing people,(2) They are good at it, (3)They know how to screw you, (4)You are getting screwed right now (5) There is nothing you can do about it.

Happy New Tears!

written by Richard DagNabbit, 02 January 2010
Rating:

Why Flight 253 Will Delay Guantanamo Closure

'Cause Hillary and Bob are gettin' ready for a roundup!

Rummy to be reactivated. O'Bama sent to his room to polish his Peace Prize before dinner.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 02 January 2010
Rating:

One Terrorist Already Shamed Into Suicide

Although airline pilots still may not get to carry guns in the cockpit, several now have taken courses in bitter sarcasm.

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

Couldn't Take It

Rumor out of Paradise is that 70 of the 72 virgins given to Yasser Arafat have already ran off to hell.

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

Obama Gets Rough

President Obama says that Russia planting missiles in Cuba will lead them to be called a bad name that he is now trying to choose.

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

This Ain't Bad!

Formerly homeless people now living in abandoned mansion say they hope economy stays in a slump.

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

Just In Case

For what is probably the first time ever, two French scientists have found a cure for a disease no one has yet gotten.

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

O'Bama Calls His Handlers to the "Situation Room" for Public Opinion Poll Review

Labeled "Operation Public Opinion", the meeting is to discuss elimination of rights under the Constitution using "Fear of Al-Quaida" propaganda; naming of "Underwear Bomber" as Propaganda Poster Boy.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 02 January 2010
Rating:

Health Bill to Leave Up To 70,000,000 Uninsured

Roughly the same number as today. Great Job Again Politicians!

written by Richard DagNabbit, 02 January 2010
Rating:

O'Bama Promises "Justice" for X-Mas Terror Plotters

Once found, they will be thanked - for giving the necessary "push" to public opinion, allowing for the instant installation of full body scanners at US airports.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 02 January 2010
Rating:

Former Prine Minister John Major Says Irag All About "Regime Change", Not WMD's

Telling at least a partial truth for a change, John Major says the invasion and occupation of Iraq was all about "regime change" and getting Iraq's Oil Fields for Shell Oil.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 02 January 2010
Rating:

All Three Disappearing Crime Witnesses

Big ground-shaking celebration of New Year's Eve in NYC Time's Square jars three bodies out of hidden graves in Central Park.

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

Four-Hour Calling Birds

Pastor Ed Young of the Grapevine Church issuing his 12 days of sex for Christmas for married couples blamed for over 100 emergency "After 4 Hours Viagra" visits during Holidays.

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

"Little Tiger" Suicide

The Knoxville Zoo say the body of a monkey that somehow learned to do a good impression of Tiger Woods endorsing Nike products, found embarrassed to death.

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

Renting Drive Ways

Could your drive pay its own way? Owners make £5,000 renting them out. Many also offering home-cooked meal, kiss on the cheek, pat on the butt as renters go to work.

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

Promote Race Relations

Top schools could be branded failures for failing to promote race relations as NASCAR continues to be snubbed, poked fun at.

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

It Was Iran All Right

Hostage Peter Moore 'certainly' held in Iran, insists U.S. general, as freed Briton enjoys first taste of being home, describes dozens of nuclear facilities underground.

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

Mystery Man

'I don't know who I am': Mystery as man with total amnesia is found collapsed by a school with only his five-year-diary.

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

Big Freeze Continues

Britain's big freeze threatens chaos for millions returning after Christmas break as global warming claims still more victims.

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

Amazing!

Coming to a chemist near you, the 20p daily lozenge that can fight all cold and flu bugs while hardening the penis.

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

No Bright Idea

Not a very bright idea: Flawed government scheme leaves homes swamped with 180 million unwanted energy-saving light bulbs. "We'll save on energy by not turning them on", states one receiver.


written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

History Of Abuse

Former England rugby star Brian Moore reveals: I was abused as a child, teenager, British press.

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

£15 Extra Tax On Cars

£15 extra tax on car fines: Drivers face hefty surcharge to compensate victims of violent crime, police ball.

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

Man Opts For Jail

Man opts for jail over New Year with relatives. "No use all of us winding up here."

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

The Sullenburger Appears

Real hero' Sullenberger leads 2010 Rose Parade as McDonald's announces "The Sullenberger, with airplane-shaped pickle floating, mustard on ketchup.

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

15 Voters A Record Turnout

Montana third state to allow doctor-assisted suicide as voters approve it, 9-6.

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

Spell It Out To Him!

AT&T, the PGA and the YMCA are the latest to end Tiger Woods sponsorship.

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

Tas Himself, Still Around

Scientists find clue to killer of Tasmanian devils, as Duck Rogers taken in and placed in confinement.

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

Better Days Ahead

Senator: better days ahead despite war, recession, depression, starvation, plague and the ending of the Mayan Calender.

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

1906 SF Earthquake Claims Another

Survivor of 1906 SF quake dies at age 107 after a small tremor was found in the brain.

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

Limbaugh Doing OK

Limbaugh: Tests show no ailments after chest pain although he must take running off of the mouth for several more days.

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

Pirates Attack Again

UK government says British-flagged ship hijacked, in surprise attack from Pirate flagged ships.

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

The Girl Scouts Friend

Girl Scouts in region hope to sell 2M boxes of cookies and that's just to Kirstie Alley.

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

First Baby Born

First baby of the new year born! "It happens every year, just like clockwork", states doctor.

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

Gators Gobble Sugar Bowl

Tebow, Gators make it look easy by getting a sweet victory in the Sugar Bowl.

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

Flushing Down John

Elton John says he has been helping American rapper Eminen fight drug & candy melting in hand problems for more than a year.

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

Foul-Mouthed Kathy On Again

For the second straight year, comedian Kathy Griffin ushered in the new year by saying something vulgar on CNN. Promises to quit the ****** liquor while on air next year.

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

Dagwood, Blonde Innocent Victims

Police foil attempt to kill Danish cartoonist. However, Little Abdul sneaks from his panel and blows up Dagwood & Blondie.

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

No Second Hand Smoking In Second Hand Stores.

Tobacco-rich North Carolina bans smoking in bars, toilets, restaurants. "Most of products sold overseas anyway."

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

Through World's Tallest Door

Dubai to open world's tallest building using world's longest key.

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

Cartoonist Still Alive

Police foil attempt to kill Danish cartoonist. Says he will continue to draw Mohammed & Jeff cartoons.

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

In Otjer Words, Kiss Our Ass!

Iran warns West it will make its own nuclear fuel, pick out it's own targets.

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

Clinton Contributors

Former President Bill Clinton's charity drew an international roster of donors last year, ranging from Norway and Oman to foreign lotteries, businessmen, celebrities, Mafia and horny old women.

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

Makes No Sense

Obama: al-Qaida link to Christmas terror suspect. "Although all terrorists have been Mid-Eastern men, there should be no racial profiling..at least until they blow more of us up."

written by Bureau, 02 January 2010
Rating:

Somalia Muslim misunderstood

A Somali Muslim was shot today after he was heard to say: "I could murder a Danish!" in cartoonist, Kurt Westergaard's kitchen. The man claims that he loves pastry and was only had a knife to cut it.

written by IN SEINE, 02 January 2010
Rating:

Was It Worth It?

A Sicilian deliberately stole sweets and chewing gum so that he could spend the night in jail rather than be with his wife and family over New Year's Eve. Next year he is planning for a life sentence.

written by IN SEINE, 02 January 2010
Rating:

Credit Card Companies to Cardholders: Use Them Or Lose Them

Now is the time for all good men to.........lose them!

written by Richard DagNabbit, 02 January 2010
Rating:

Ireland Passes Blasphemy Law; Violation Punishable by Crucifixion

I think we have seen this bad idea once before.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 02 January 2010
Rating:

Democrat Leaders Worry: Is O'Bama Cutting It?

For the culture cronies who actually put him in office, he surely is.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 02 January 2010
Rating:

O'Bama Confesses!

He didn't actually select ANY of his appointees or aides, they selected HIM as their straw man!

written by Richard DagNabbit, 02 January 2010
Rating:

All US flights will divert to random cities

It's "an abundance of caution," a TSA spokesman said. "Terrorists can't blow up an aircraft once it has been diverted to another city..."

written by Robin Berger, 02 January 2010
Rating:

Limbaugh: Tests Find Nothing Wrong With My Head

Then again, the tests were self-administered, and were supervised by Rosie O'Donnell

written by Richard DagNabbit, 02 January 2010
Rating:

Adam Lambert and Elton Plan Hook Up in London

And here I thought it was for a show. Doh!

written by Richard DagNabbit, 02 January 2010
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