Order by:
Rating:

Crop Circles

The CIA have found the source of many crop circles in Kansas, Iowa area. A farmer who loves playing jokes has purchased himself a new John Deere'Protractor.

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Can't Count

Merchants in Islamabad, Pakistan say they are having trouble doing their inventories because of the Taliban.

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Nudist Colony Peepers

In Miami, Florida a hole has been bored into a wall at the nudist colony there. Miami Police are looking into it.

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

White Hart Inn in Bedwas

First to serve up SNOWMAGEDDON cocktails during 'happy Obama hour'.

written by Tcoah, 08 February 2010
Rating:

SAINTS WIN SUPER BOWL

In a totally unexpected upset, the Saints won the Super Bowl yesterday. Veteran quarterback St. Peter led the team in a 31-17 victory over the infidel colts with the help of right tackle St. Anthony.

written by Daniel Bristol, 08 February 2010
Rating:

A Secret Federal Report

has concluded that if a nuke device goes off in downtown Washington it will, prior to detonation, be driven to a street near Congress in a white van. Obama's solution: paint all white vans blue.

written by Tcoah, 08 February 2010
Rating:

WAshington Dc ->

Stuck in a snow-warp, a trillian trillian ice-crystals from normality, and a President that doesn't understand the difference between ... well, anything really.

written by Tcoah, 08 February 2010
Rating:

New English Voting Law Changes Announced

Following the English Parliament's ruling on pregnancy tests for 11 year old school girls Secretary of State for Health, Andy Burnham said "...and they will also be given the vote!"

written by iscrivener, 08 February 2010
Rating:

New Stevens Album

Yusuf Islam or "Cat Stevens" putting out a new album, "Tabby Or Not Tabby!"

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

The Cat Came Back

Yusuf Islam or "Cat Stevens" putting out a new album, "Got Mouse?"

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Or "The Hump Song"

Old Rock Group Three Dog Night may reunite and put out a new version of "She's Got Legs"

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Rock Reunion

Old Rock Group Three Dog Night may reunite and put out a new version of "Live It Up, Lap It Up!"

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

New Key Beer To Hit Market

Scottish & Newcastle UK have come up with a Scottish version of Newcastle Brown Ale called Nookie Broon - with the added ingredient of 1000mg per ml of Viagra/Testosterone. Coming soon.

written by iscrivener, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Big Favorite Among Fans

Old Rock Group Three Dog Night may reunite and put out a new version of "Will Ye Go, Lassie, Go?"

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

You Are What You Eat

It has been rumoured that Gordon Brown has begun to eat nine bananas a day after being given a book for Christmas called "You Are What You Eat" by Gillian McKeith.

written by IN SEINE, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Three Dog Night

Old Rock Group Three Dog Night may reunite and put out a new version of "Don't Forget (to stop and smell the piles along the way").

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Gore Going Mad As A Hatter

Al Gore still having mental problems according to Tipper. "Now, not only does he run outside a& shake his fist at snowflakes, he says we will soon be in a parallel universe where he is president.

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Headed For Higher Wages At Mickey D's

Unemployment may reach 11% in February numbers as over 100,000 Elvis Impersonators, mimes, rodeo and circus clowns laid off.

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Gordon Brown Turns Cannibal

Gordon Brown, is on a health-drive and is eating no less than nine bananas a day. This is PURE CANNIBALISM. Likewise David Cameron is tucking into nuts & Nick Clegg is endulging in Crackers.

written by IN SEINE, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Post Office Cuts

U.S Postal Service may cut down to three days per week, Monday, Wednesday and Fridays, except for holidays, of course.

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Help Haiti charity single release put on ice, Rod Stewarts hair wasn't right!

Simon Cowells dream of a Nr1 single has been torpedoed by Rod Stewart who complained his hair was not styled properly, it made his nose look too big, Simon is distraught and proves "Everybody Hurts"

written by Jaggedone, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Why Don't Tesco Do Something More Useful?

Tesco, have banned a man from carrying his daughter on his shoulders from entering the store - yet they don't forbid old lady for carrying a £100,000 plate from a Royal tea set in a Tesco carrier bag.

written by IN SEINE, 08 February 2010
Rating:

150 Year Old President of Freedonia, Rufus T. Firefly, Passes Away

Duck Soup to be served at funeral luncheon.

written by Jalapenoman, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Jimmy Cracked Corn....

...and I still don't care.

written by Jalapenoman, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Taylor Swift Lingerie Secrets Revealed

She still wears the same training bras that her mother bought her when she was eleven.

written by Jalapenoman, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Twilight Star Kristen Stewart Reveals Wedding Plans

There is no prospective groom, but it is never to early for a girl to start planning her wedding!

written by Jalapenoman, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Autopsy Reveals Michael Jackson's Missing Nose Was Attached to Penis

Apparently, he enjoyed sniffing around down there.

written by Jalapenoman, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Killing rats on Aussie TV celeb Jungle shows is forbidden!

An Aussie Celeb jungle TV show has been fined by the RSPCA for letting its Celebs kill a rat and eat it, their answer was, "better the rat than eating each other!" Strange people these Aussies!

written by Jaggedone, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Toyota Issue Free Bumper Sticker

"My Other Car Stops When I Brake."

written by Skoob1999, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Reason for There Being so Many Politicians in Australia Found

As ITV found to its cost (£1600 to be precise) it is illegal to kill a rat in Australia. "Now the bloody country is overrun with the little blighters." according to unnamable Aboriginal tribesmen

written by IN SEINE, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Rock Group "Vaginal Discharge" Told Band's Name Will Not Be Used On Television

The word "discharge" is too close to "you're fired," and Donald Trump has already copyrighted that.

written by Jalapenoman, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Go Daddy Has Sexiest Super Bowl Commercials Again

Only people attracted to Chelsea Clinton were turned on by the Clydesdales.

written by Jalapenoman, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Prison Raffle Popular

Prisoners are entering a raffle competition, with a first prize of a day out. "If I win, I'm going inside some other bars", states hopeful inmate.

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Obama Girls Upset With Father Over Health Care Plan

Pimple creams are apparently not covered by Universal Health Care.

written by Jalapenoman, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Reggie Bush a Non-Factor in Saints Super Bowl Victory

That pretty much describes his whole post USC career.

written by Jalapenoman, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Regis Philbin Scheduled For Bypass Surgery

Now, words will go straight out of his mouth without passing through his brain first.

written by Jalapenoman, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Fan enjoyment of commercials prompts NFL to make change for next year

"Instead of a halftime concert, we'll just show more Clydesdales and Dorito's ads."

written by Jalapenoman, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Girl Arrested For Doodling In Class

Police say she should have been "diddleing" her teachers like the other students.

written by Jalapenoman, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Leno, Letterman, and Oprah Appear On Couch Together In Super Bowl Ad

It was a reverse oreo.

written by Jalapenoman, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Ushers at Super Bowl Say It's Apparent Alzheimer's Has Struck The Who

"We should start calling them the question they kept asking, The Who Am I?"

written by Jalapenoman, 08 February 2010
Rating:

John Terry and Tiger Woods Offer Joint Explanation For Multiple Infidelities

"Damn, how could you not want to hit that!"

written by Jalapenoman, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Space Shuttle Blast Into Space in Evening Lift Off

Floriday partiers thought that it was just more post-Super Bowl fireworks.

written by Jalapenoman, 08 February 2010
Rating:

The Who Perform Last Concert At Super Bowl

Starting next week, they become the "Help, I've Fallen And I Can't Get Up."

written by Jalapenoman, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Toyota to Recall 300,000 Priuses

"We want to give the car a new name that doesn't sound so gay, and that people can actually spell."

written by Jalapenoman, 08 February 2010
Rating:

One-Armed Bandit Not Greedy!

A one-armed man stole a single gold cufflink from a jewellers shop in Leigh-on-Sea, Essex, today. Police say; "the man is not quite armless, but certainly not greedy." They have nicknamed him 'Andy'.

written by IN SEINE, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Joseph Addai was probably MVP for Indy Colts in Super Bowl Loss

When the Colts running back is their best player, you know that pass happy Indianapolis lost the game.

written by Jalapenoman, 08 February 2010
Rating:

On Sides Kick and Interception Return Were Difference Makers In Super Bowl

The commercials had nothing to do with it.

written by Jalapenoman, 08 February 2010
Rating:

General Sherman's Looking a Little Pale!

Bird makes safe landing after hitting airplane. Takes scare out on park statue.

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

But It Was Close

Fox News finishes second only to TheSpoof in news accuracy!

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

It Was On The Obama Cable Channel

President Obama's constant talking allowed him to slip up again in yesterday's interview, mentioning troops in Yemen.

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Cats No Good At Bomb Sniffing

Cats no good at bomb-sniffing say experts after running tests. "They'd rather clean their butts", says scientist. "Of course, I'd rather scratch my balls, myself."

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Edwards Sex Tape Safe

Judge says John Edwards sex tapes have been given to the National Enquirer for safe-keeping until needed. Promised that they won't look.

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Infertility Passed Down For Generations

IVF fathers could pass infertility on to sons. But, of course, they don't have any, do they?

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Acid Can Be Rough

Acid syringe 'could spell an end to dentist's drill', patients tongue, gums.


written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

"I Cried Because I Had No Clues"

Emotional Alastair Campbell breaks down in TV interview on Iraq war 'dodgy dossier'

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

150 Languages

The town where pupils speak 150 different languages divided over some kind of misunderstanding.

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

"Knew It Was Something"

British astronaut blasts into orbit to fit a room with a view onto space station, forgets his tools.

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Chinese Discover over 3,000 Dinosaur Footprints

After the discovery of 3,000 dinosaur footprints in China, all pointing in one direction, believe that they have found a new species; just ONE monster which had 750 legs. A giant millipede perhaps?

written by IN SEINE, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Celebrity Rat Eaters

ITV fined £2,000 after rat is killed and eaten on 'I'm A Celebrity, I Eat Rats'!

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Brakes Still Sticking

Now crisis-hit Toyota is poised to recall 270,000 Prius models. Object to people beginning to call it the Toyota Kamikaze!

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Tesco Going Nuts?

Tesco bans father from carrying his daughter on his shoulders. Daughter punches manager in the nuts.


written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Yo Mama!

'Secretive, power-hoarding, controlling', mother wears combat boots: Cameron launches highly personal attack on Brown.

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Passengers Stunned

Passengers left stunned after Muslim bus driver pulls over and begins praying in the aisle. Flee bus in a panic screaming "Bomb!"


written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

May Wait For Summer

-6C temperatures . . . and snow's on the way as the big freeze returns to Britain. Global Warming supporters still won't show themselves.

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Dialect Gone Forever?

Ancient dialect extinct after last speaker dies. "If only we still had Andy Kaufman", say linguists.

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

"WHO Are You?"

Pete Townshend: Nice to be part of spectacle, after seeing the old fart on the big screens.

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Swine Flu Epidemic?

Is the US swine flu epidemic over? Did we ever have one? French say 'Oui Oui"

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

I. P. Freely: About These Drugs

Even if you're careful, drugs can end up in water, every time you take a whiz.

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

"That Deaf, Dumb & Blind Kid"

Obama adviser: Stop criticizing anti-terror effort once we finally get one in place.

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

"Meet The New Boss, Same As The Old Boss!"

Obama hasn't ruled out NY trial for 9/11 planner. Could use US Army to surround building. Might speak to jury for a couple of hours.

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Toyota's Powerful Friends

THE INFLUENCE GAME: Toyota's powerful and recently very wealthy DC friends.

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Korean Talks Begin

North Korea threatens South amid push to restart talks, screaming arguments, fist fights for peace.

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

French Sell Warship

France agrees to sell Russia advanced warship. "We'll never use it anyway."

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Super Gathering

Super Bowl TV spot brings Leno, Letterman together, but separates Peyton Manning from his receivers.

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Saints Go Marching In

Saints win 1st NFL title by beating Colts 31-17! Ghost of Louie Armstrong seen leading funeral on Bourbon Street.

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Strike Migration Rules Imposed

Australia tightens skilled migration rules. Birds can only fly over certain areas.

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Landslide Victory

Costa Rica elects 1st woman president in landslide. Invites Stevie Nicks to victory celebration.

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Drinking Water Full Of Drugs

Study links sugary soft drinks to pancreas cancer, too much beer to liver problems. Recommend bourbon on the rocks.

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Super Bowl/New Orleans Party

Saints win 1st NFL title by beating Colts 31-17. New Orleans say they might celebrate a bit.

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

New Orleans Wins Super Bowl

Saints win 1st NFL title by beating Colts 31-17! Drew Brees is the Pinball Wizard!

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

New Orleans Finally Wins

Saints win 1st NFL title by beating Colts 31-17. Fans still wondering WHO old guys were at halftime.

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Mid Atlantic?

'Historic' snow strands countless in Mid-Atlantic. Ships on their way to pick them up.

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

New Orleans: "We Won't Be Fooled Again"

Space shuttle blasts off on last night flight. Would have been a nice halftime show at Super Bowl but they had to wait.

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Shuttle Blasts Off

Space shuttle blasts off on last night flight. Apologize to anyone left behind but they had a window of opportunity.

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Obama Comments about Inviting Republicans to a Half-day Bipartisan Summit on Health Care

"I can only put up with Republicans for half a day."

written by Gail Farrelly, 08 February 2010
Rating:

NASA Says Shuttle Launch Was Delayed until Monday Because of Bad Weather

No way. The delay was due to the fact that astronauts wanted to attend Super Bowl parties.

written by Gail Farrelly, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Who?

The Who, that's who. The English band rocked Super Bowl crowds!

written by Gail Farrelly, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Dear "Avatar,"

This weekend, you are not the No. 1 movie in the U. S. and Canada. That would be me. Love and Kisses, "Dear John"

written by Gail Farrelly, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Oregon Orangutan, Kutai, Is Now In Protective Custody

He had predicted that the Colts would win the Super Bowl. Many gamblers acted on his prediction and are now out to get him.

written by Gail Farrelly, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Deport 99% Of Them

Native Americans ask for deportation of 300 million illegal aliens except for those who can work at casinos.

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

"Next Stop Is Vietnam!"

Country Joe McDonald and the Fish reunite to do new version of "Carp & Sole, I Fell In Love With You"

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

"1,2,3 What Are We Fightin' For?"

Country Joe McDonald and the Fish reunite to do new version of "Salmon Sez"

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

"Gonna Have A Whole Lot Of Fun"

Country Joe McDonald and the Fish reunite to do new version of "Mackerel The Knife".

written by Bureau, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Climate Change

Former Vice President Al Gore blames the record snow falls occurring in east coast states on global warming. He made the statement from his villa in the Bahamas, where he jetted to for the weekend.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 February 2010
Rating:

President Obama's Press Conference

Presidential Press Secretary Gibbs passed out a paper to reporters describing the president's accomplishments during the last year. The FOX News Channel reporter asked why the page was blank?

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Observation

Did you ever notice that when you begin a task there are at least ten watchers to make sure the job is done correctly, but no one to help you?

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Imaginary Energy Production

President Obama trots out clean coal, nuclear power & off-shore oil drilling to placate Republicans. His Democratic loony left wing base desires only totally imaginary "green" sources by yesterday.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Fish and Spinach

UK Nutrition Minister bans the eating of salty, greasy fish and chips throughout Britain. Pub patrons revolt and hang him in effigy after discovering he wants to substitute oily fish and spinach.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Department of Energy Proposal

The DOE has announced that if 150 million Americans have intercourse every evening, 5.0 trillion kwhrs of "green" electrical energy will be generated. Do your patriotic duty!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Born Loser Club Nominates Officers

A born loser is defined as a person who falls into a barrel of tits and comes up sucking his/her thumb! Prospective nominees are Congressman Barney Frank, House Speaker Pelosi and John Edwards.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Asphalt Shortage Resolved

There is currently a shortage of asphalt to pave the nation's roads. Washington DC politicians have agreed to do something creative by furnishing all their bullshit to alleviate the situation.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 February 2010
Rating:

A Word about Gridlock

Washington DC political gridlock keeps both Democrats and Republicans out of your kitchens, bedrooms and pockets!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 February 2010
Rating:

A Hare Raising Thought

There are some "green" energy advocates who actually believe that if the "Energizer Bunny" multiplies like a rabbit, the USA's power problems are solved!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Sexually Transmitted Disease Prevention

The recession has caused condom sales to drop and STD rates to increase. A new study recommends that males who can't afford condoms employ several layers of duct tape.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 February 2010
Rating:

New FDA Method to Control Obesity

FDA to add harmless nano-robots, with big teeth, to food packages containing items such as potato chips. If the consumer eats more than a single serving a nano-robot will bite him or her on the butt.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Mid-Term Election Literature

Democratic Congressmen try to convince voters to reelect them in 2010 mid-term elections, on their performance. Voters are leery, as the campaign literature is printed on recycled horse poop paper.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Food Purveyors Strike Back

The food police were dealt a heavy blow this week when KFC gave them the bird and NABISCO gave them the lady finger!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 February 2010
Rating:

Buddy can you spare a Trillion for a cup of Coffee

President Obama said "Let me be clear, I am not going to walk away from health reform." He then flew to Hawaii for a vacation & to figure out how to spend to the new $1.9 trillion debt limit.


written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 February 2010
Rating:

A Possibility

EPA issues a regulation mandating that snow must be allowed to melt in place, to avoid spoiling the environment. Congress & the president plan to move government functions to Hawaii, except the EPA.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 February 2010
« Jan 2010 February 2010 Mar 2010 »
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
1st
86
2nd
147
3rd
172
4th
155
5th
154
6th
142
7th
123
8th
109
9th
183
10th
146
11th
0
12th
163
13th
115
14th
136
15th
133
16th
93
17th
180
18th
185
19th
183
20th
211
21st
121
22nd
99
23rd
134
24th
166
25th
99
26th
113
27th
109
28th
150

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 plus 5?

4 25 1 7


Go to top