Order by:
Rating:

Midget learns his normal sized wife hasn't bathed in a week because she's been busy with affair

"I knew that she was upset. She said I was too obsessed about sex and would never look her in the face when we showered together."

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Midget learns his normal sized wife hasn't bathed in a week because she's been busy with affair

I guess sex with him wasn't "dirty" enough.

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Midget learns his normal sized wife hasn't bathed in a week because she's been busy with affair

If he's angry about this, does that mean he's on a "short fuse"?

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Midget learns his normal sized wife hasn't bathed in a week because she's been busy with affair

She says that her husband just "didn't measure up."

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Harrah's Casinos Welcome 100,000 Has Beens For This Weekend's Live Performances

75 year old Jerry Mathers given viagra so that he can be up for his appearance as The Beaver.

written by Jalapenoman, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Harrah's Casinos Welcome 100,000 Has Beens For This Weekend's Live Performances

Britney Spear's, Paris Hilton's, and Lindsay Lohan's vaginas all invited, as none have made public appearance in three years.

written by Jalapenoman, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Harrah's Casinos Welcome 100,000 Has Beens For This Weekend's Live Performances

Former Olympic Ski Jumper Eddie The Eagle to make appearance as a "One Hit Blunder"

written by Jalapenoman, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Harrah's Casinos Welcome 100,000 Has Beens For This Weekend's Live Performances

Osmonds, Jacksons, Monkeys, Menudo, New Kids, N'Sync all fight to headline "Old Men Who Used To Be Boy Bands Concert."

written by Jalapenoman, 21 February 2010
Rating:

No shagging for a fortnight!

Piers Brosnan = Sprains Boner

written by queen mudder, 21 February 2010
Rating:

The ones on a Harley Davidson probably loaded with valuables!

Piers Brosnan = Robs Panniers

written by queen mudder, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Peerage and a loaded shotgun

Piers Brosnan = Baron Snipers

written by queen mudder, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Patrick McGoohan's show off limits?

Piers Brosnan = Bans 'Prisoner'

written by queen mudder, 21 February 2010
Rating:

No brainer...

Piers Brosnan = Person's Brain

written by queen mudder, 21 February 2010
Rating:

We were all faking it!

President Reagan = A Daring Pretense

written by queen mudder, 21 February 2010
Rating:

"I left my heart in Sacramento and my common sense too"

Say 2008 Obama supporters.

written by Tcoah, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Maybe that's why 'Grassy Noel' took a potshot at him!

President Kennedy - Ended Ninety Perks

written by queen mudder, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Some time during Year of the Snake

President Kennedy = Ended Inky Serpent

written by queen mudder, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Butch kinda guy for JFK

President Kennedy = Needed Stern Pinky

written by queen mudder, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Secret cross-dresser?

President Kennedy = Needed Penny Skirt

written by queen mudder, 21 February 2010
Rating:

"Why does my husband always go to sleep straight after sex?"

Is your name Sarah Brown?

written by Tcoah, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Brown The Bully

Gordon is not a bully, claims Mandelson as PM is accused of abusing Downing Street wimps.

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Angry coke blokes

The Rollling Stones = Lol! Seething Snort

written by queen mudder, 21 February 2010
Rating:

YMCA!

The Rolling Stones = Hostelling Stoner

written by queen mudder, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Or yodelling Panama...

The Rolling Stones = Hollering Stetson

written by queen mudder, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Alone in the crowd...

The Rolling Stones = Loneliest Throngs

written by queen mudder, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Pest control?

Patrick Stewart = Witches' Rat Trap


written by queen mudder, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Incandescent admission

Paul Newman = UN: We Napalm

written by queen mudder, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Old clunker stimulus mistake?

Robert Redford = Ford Debt Error

written by queen mudder, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Too Much TV

Study: Too much TV watching as lost kid at mall describes his parents as Pat Sajak & Vanni.

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Sounds Like Ferengi!

Police in Arkansas warn people gathering for a Star Trek Convention at Truck Stop, they've paid their fees to crooks.

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

CBS Special

CBS, behind in the ratings, offers free tan to those who will watch their shows within three feet of the screen.

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

WH threatens to sue

Gordon Brown's office for advice about reaching independent voters - WH alleges: "advice not fit for purpose".

written by Tcoah, 21 February 2010
Rating:

'that figures'

Gordon Brown and Obama related

written by Tcoah, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Obama is "all those things and more"

useless useless useless useless useless useless useless useless useless useless useless useless useless useless useless useless useless useless useless useless useless useless

written by Tcoah, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Old Toyota Cars

worth more than new ones

written by Tcoah, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Sex Hormone Trial For Head Injury

You'll still have a headache but you wont care anymore

written by Earl Grey, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Twist Until 9 PM!

Harrah's Casino welcomes this week's golden oldies: Gums And Noses!!

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Mashed Potatoes Till 9 PM!

Harrah's Casino welcomes this week's golden oldies: Pa Simon & Fart Gagfunker with Kidney Rogers!

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Rock Around Till 9 PM!

Harrah's Casino welcomes this week's golden oldies: Tim Hardin & The Arteries!

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Hully Gully Till 9 PM!

Harrah's Casino welcomes this week's golden oldies: Jimmy Gilmore & The Long Balls!

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Tonight, Rock Till 9 PM

Harrah's Casino welcomes this week's golden oldies: Catheter Stevens!

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

One Night Only, Till 9 PM

Harrah's Casino welcomes this week's golden oldies: John Codger Mellencamp!

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

One Night Only-Till 9PM

Harrah's Casino welcomes this week's golden oldies: The Four Loads with The Honeybuckets!"

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

One Night Only (Till 9PM)

Harrah's Casino welcomes this week's golden oldies: Gerry & The Four Pacemakers!

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Weekend At Harrah's

Harrah's Casino welcomes this week's golden oldies: The Gas Who!

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

This Weekend At Harrah's

Harrah's Casino welcomes this week's golden oldies: The Old Rascals!

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

I'm Lovin It

New McBrush proves a hit with customers. As part of the meal, for an extra 50p, why not order curlers instead of fries?

written by Earl Grey, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Schoolgirls Could Be Allowed To Swap Skirts For Trousers

If Schoolboys Agree.

written by Earl Grey, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Miracle On 34th Hole

Dalai Lama says faith can bring Woods discipline. Woods immediately becomes Buddhist, says he's cured.

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

It's All Iffy

NASA: Weather iffy for space shuttle return Sunday. Al Gore immediately adopts "iffy" for global warming.

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

No Hacking Here!

Schools in China say they weren't behind hacking, except during Swine Fly outbreak.

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

GOP Might Support Slimed-Down Bill

McConnell: GOP may support slimmed down jobs bill, if we can find any slimmed down workers.

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

House Agrees On One Thing

Bayh: economic crisis might spark cooperation. McConnell, Reid: If we sink, we're taking everybody with us!

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Now We're Getting Serious!

Petraeus: Marjah first salvo in long campaign that started seven years ago!

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Dealers, Pushers, High Flyers!

Worried Toyota dealers adding own voice to PR push at 110 MPH!

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Fumes Are Deadly

Seniors Trip Train derails, toxic cloud forces California evacuations, right after senior's pants evacuations.

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Midget learns his normal sized wife hasn't bathed in a week because she's been busy with affair

"I thought I smelled something fishy"

written by Jalapenoman, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Official Comeback Launch

Harrah's Casino welcomes this week's golden oldies: Cannibal & the "Head" Hunters

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Back After 40 Years

Harrah's Casino welcomes this week's golden oldies: Caned Heat!

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Harrah's Oldies

Harrah's Casino welcomes this week's golden oldies: Credence 'Make Water' Revival.

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Mandelson "Brown is not a bully"

"He's a receiver, not a giver"

written by Earl Grey, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Harrah's Oldies Night

Harrah's Casino welcomes this week's golden oldies: Featuring Alice Pooper with Brewer & Shithead!

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Harrah's Oldies Night

Harrah's Casino welcomes this week's golden oldies: The Cleftones Hearing Aids.

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Ran Into Another Family's Man

Worker for Donato Soprano killed in crash was a loyal family man.

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Nursing Great Lakes

Feds outline plan to nurse Great Lakes to health as ten gallon of mother's milk from volunteers dumped into Lake Erie.

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Had WMD's Somewhere, They Are Certain

Philippine troops kill six al-Qaida-linked, voted against against President, militants.

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Lama On Obama

Dalai Lama doesn't fault Obama for low-key meeting. "He has his own ass to watch", says wise man.

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

I Kid You Not

Kid comedians take the stage in Las Vegas: "Take my cat, please!"

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

China Tightens Rules, Feet

China tightens bank lending rules, bonds on their women's feet!

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

The Elvi Are In Vegas

Vegas hotel unveils Elvis extravaganza with over 1500 imitation Elvi in the crowd!

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

World's Record!

Nepal's shortest man in quest for world record, sandpapers the bottom of his feet.

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Economy In Crapper

Factoid: Fed Chairman Bernanke says that while most of the world's economy in the crapper, these are BOOM times for many in the middle east!

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Chester Bin Laden

Factoid: After half the population of Saudi Arabia named Mohammed. Oddly enough, coming in second was "Chester".

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Arabs & Sand

Factoid: Not only do Eskimos have over 40 words for snow, Arabs have over 100 for sand! Mostly, those we cannot print.

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

"I Said, Shut Up!"

Grocery clerk at Kruger warns bioengineered cucumbers to quit flirting with the female customers for the third time today.

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Well, That's A Step Forward

South Korean scientist announces that he has invent a skunk that smells like shit!

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Jump Up & Down, Throw Firecrackers!

Nepal's shortest man in quest for world record, after being mostly overlooked.

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Lots Of Doubts!

Michelle Obama thinks doubts about her have eased, has decided that the doubts about her husband has increased that no one cares about doubts about her.

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Alexander Haig RIP

He will lie in the White House.

Again.

written by Earl Grey, 21 February 2010
Rating:

One Track Mind

Forget our $3 trillion debt, 10% Unemployment! Live From Washington! It's Obama health care drama back on TV!
And everywhere else!

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Haig Remembered

Alexander Haig remembered as soldier-statesman-victim of over 1,000 Late Night Jokes.

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Lies Have Consequences

Analysis: Untruths have consequences in politics. Only took nearly 240 years to find that out.

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Car A Cash Cow

US researchers unveiled a vehicle Thursday that earns money for its driver instead of guzzling it up in gasoline and maintenance costs. It's called, "The Volunteer Crash Dummy Project".

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Military On Gays

Lawmakers to press military on gay ban. All wearing pink ties.

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

New Study

Study: Average life of a Taliban appointed leader basically that of Alfredo Bruno's car starter!

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Six Months?

Study: Average life of a Taliban appointed leader basically that of a judge in Columbia.

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Obama Demands In Flight Fuel Tanker to Service Air Force I !

Barry spending so much time flying around can't even bring his head out of clouds to govern. Air Force tells POTUS tanker delay due to prior request of
SOTUS, Skank of the US, Nancy Pelosi.

written by Morse, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Anyone Left in UK who hasn't shagged a Footie?

WAGS claim herd is thinning , may move on to Cricketeers who are reported
'to swing a mean bat" according to Vanessa Perroncel. Badminton players cry "Hey,don't forget us if you like 'shuttlecocks!'

written by Morse, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Cole to L.A.? Say it ain't so!

Rumours citing Cheryl to move to CA to ESCAPE media attention! She really must be dumber than she looks and sounds. US soccer players suck, too. Oops, maybe she's not so dumb afterall!

written by Morse, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Korean Shoe Thief To Get The Slipper

A thief who stole 120 pairs of shoes from a funeral is to be beaten on the backside 120 times with a slipper. "I did it because I was down at heel" claimed the poor sole. "Shoe" we say.

written by Earl Grey, 21 February 2010
Rating:

UK Now Studying Privatizing Health Care, Barry Still Pushes for Govt. Control!

England finally starting to realize government can never run anything successfully. Obama comments: "F**** Retards! It's all about power, not prosperity...dumb C*****s!" Chris Matthews wets himself!

written by Morse, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Obama Tells Biden: "From Now on Take a F****g Bus!"

Barry pissed after series of late night driving incidents and fatality involving Biden Motorcades. "Who does he think he is," said Barry, "Ted F****g Kennedy?"

written by Morse, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Hugo Chavez calls Obama 'faux negro' amidst more power failures in Caracas!

Rahm Emanuel responds calling the narco dictator a "F*****g Phony Banana" responsible for 'F*****g up a pefectly good crisis' and "turning Socialism into a F***** Joke!" More on Larry King tonight!

written by Morse, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Argentina President Popularity Sags as UK Cuts of Her Botox Shipments!

Botox Pres, 57,Cristina De Kirchner, retaliates by putting embargo on UK ships sent to facilitate oil drilling. War of the Wrinkles set to commense shortly, although Brown says he 'doesn't see it.'

written by Morse, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Gordon Brown & Rahm Emanuel to Star in New Realty Show!

Show is named after recent revelations concerning the use of profanity by the two powerful political characters and will debut as : "F*****C****meets
F******Retard" and billed as 'Battle of Words!'

written by Morse, 21 February 2010
Rating:

"The best games yet" says the IOC

This is despite the death of one athlete, several serious accidents, numerous mishaps, accusations of corruption and poor weather. Splendid.

written by Earl Grey, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Spoof Snippet Zoner Berware!

President Putin = Untried Snippet

written by queen mudder, 21 February 2010
Rating:

"I've Never Hit Anybody" Says Brown

"I just send Prescott round to knock seven bells out of them instead"

written by Earl Grey, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Socks the Cat Speaks Out

A reporter candidly asked Hillary Clinton what world leader she most admired. Socks looked up and said, "Mao"

written by Mr Dovie, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Dalai Lama asks Mr Obama for NY Coney Dog

Just tell them to make me one with Everything!

written by Mr Dovie, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Unexpected cure for Global Warming!

All the Junk floating in space will completely block the Sun in 2012

written by Mr Dovie, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Mazda to Introduce first Urine Powered Car

Advertisements feature new slogan: Instead of Zoom Zoom, It's Whiz Whiz!

written by Mr Dovie, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Old Accountants Never Die...

They just loose their balance.

written by Adam Click, 21 February 2010
Rating:

"Time Has Come Today!"

Harrah's Casino welcomes this week's golden oldies: The Chamberpot Brothers!

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

In Their Second Childhood

Harrah's Casino welcomes this week's golden oldies: The Buffalo SpringChickens with Stephen Still.

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Special Farewell Performance

Harrah's Casino welcomes this week's golden oldies: The Boxed Tops.

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

BTO At Harrahs

Harrah's Casino welcomes this week's golden oldies: Bachman, Toyota Overdrive!

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Now At Harrah's Casino

Harrah's Casino welcomes this week's golden oldies: Gray Sabbath!

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Celebs offered free laptops by the Sun Newspaper

... with built-in remote controlled web-cams

written by Tcoah, 21 February 2010
Rating:

There are bad days and then there are very bad days

"Groom shot dead at wedding by uncle's stray celebratory bullet"

written by Tcoah, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Never My Love (Unless You Have A Purple Pill)

Harrah's Casino welcomes this week's golden oldies: The Association of Retired People.

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

One Night Special

Harrah's Casino welcomes this week's golden oldies: Big Brother & The Holdin' On Company!

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Harrah's Oldies

Harrah's Casino welcomes this week's golden oldies: The Beached Boys!

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Now At Harrah's

Harrah's Casino welcomes this week's golden oldies: Badfungus!

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Hip Joint Hurrahs!

Harrah's Casino welcomes this week's golden oldies: The 1910 Tooth Gum Factory.

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Harrah's Presents

Harrah's Casino welcomes this week's golden oldies: Blood, Sweat & Years!

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

One Night Only

Harrah's Casino welcomes this week's golden oldies: Dad and Jeremy.

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Harrah's Casinos Welcome 100,000 Has Beens For This Weekend's Live Performances

Jackson family insists that they aren't has beens because "we've been all over the television since Michael done overdosed his self and killed his ass."

written by Jalapenoman, 21 February 2010
Rating:

Special Performance, Free Clothepins

Harrah's Casino welcomes this week's golden oldies: "The Original Dreadful Dead"

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

This Week Only

Harrah's Casino welcomes this week's golden oldies: "The Jackson Two"

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
Rating:

"Knock Twenty Times & Loud"

Harrah's Casino welcomes this week's golden oldies: "Tony Orlando $ Dusk"

written by Bureau, 21 February 2010
« Jan 2010 February 2010 Mar 2010 »
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
1st
86
2nd
147
3rd
172
4th
155
5th
154
6th
142
7th
123
8th
109
9th
183
10th
146
11th
0
12th
163
13th
115
14th
136
15th
133
16th
93
17th
180
18th
185
19th
183
20th
211
21st
121
22nd
99
23rd
134
24th
166
25th
99
26th
113
27th
109
28th
150

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