Order by:
Rating:

Big Bang Beware

Hadron Collider = Lo, Horrid Candle!

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Kinda thickskinned...

Hadron Collider = Cold Red LA Rhino

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Of the blow-up rubber variety

Hadron Collider = In Hardcore Doll

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Life Peer only

Hadron Collider = No Heraldic Lord

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Harrah's Casinos Welcome 100,000 Has Beens For This Weekend's Live Performances

Miss America First Runner Ups not invited, as the show is for has beens, not wanna-be and never was.

written by Jalapenoman, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Tenants always late with the rent...

Hadron Collider = Heroic Landlord

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Harrah's Casinos Welcome 100,000 Has Beens For This Weekend's Live Performances

All former reality show winners to receive the special tribute that they deserve: they aren't invited.

written by Jalapenoman, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Harrah's Casinos Welcome 100,000 Has Beens For This Weekend's Live Performances

All former Charlie's Angels will wear bras on set together for the first time, as otherwise their tits may fight with their knees for screen time.

written by Jalapenoman, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Harrah's Casinos Welcome 100,000 Has Beens For This Weekend's Live Performances

Jethro Bodine may have made it past 7th grade by now.

written by Jalapenoman, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Harrah's Casinos Welcome 100,000 Has Beens For This Weekend's Live Performances

Former Mouseketeer Timmy says "maybe my old co-stars will have something better than just training bras."

written by Jalapenoman, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Harrah's Casinos Welcome 100,000 Has Beens For This Weekend's Live Performances

Few former 60's child stars to attend, unless they do a remote broadcast from The Betty Ford Clinic

written by Jalapenoman, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Harrah's Casinos Welcome 100,000 Has Beens For This Weekend's Live Performances

Tony Orlando doesn't bring Dawn, since they like to sleep in past 11:00.

written by Jalapenoman, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Harrah's Casinos Welcome 100,000 Has Beens For This Weekend's Live Performances

All the Menudo guys are too fat to fit into their old Spandex sequined costumes

written by Jalapenoman, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Harrah's Casinos Welcome 100,000 Has Beens For This Weekend's Live Performances

Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown on stage together for the first time since their Heavyweight Title Boxing Match

written by Jalapenoman, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Harrah's Casinos Welcome 100,000 Has Beens For This Weekend's Live Performances

Now they'll all get their 16th minute of fame.

written by Jalapenoman, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Institue of Welsh Affairs on WAG

"WAG spends more on Economic Development than any part of the UK and yet Wales remains at or near bottom of many economic indicators from GVA, unemployment to business failures".

written by Tcoah, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Another Shocker

The National Requirer has just release another shocker. Apparently scientist now think that the child king, King Tut, belonged to John Edwards.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Awww, Ain't That Sweet?

During his apology speech today, Tiger Woods told his audience that he had sent his wife Elin a beautiful Hallmark store for Valentine's Day.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Obama backs NASA

into a corner.

written by Tcoah, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Greek Tragedy

Britain acknowledges advance warning of plan to murder Hamas leader - our denials to the contrary carry as much weight as a Greek Euro note.

written by Tcoah, 19 February 2010
Rating:

2nd man in the street on Obama

"He's all over the place"

written by Tcoah, 19 February 2010
Rating:

F1 driver's comment

"Is this man (Obama) an idiot or what?"

written by Tcoah, 19 February 2010
Rating:

"Deep Blue"

no longer so in VA, NJ or MA!

written by Tcoah, 19 February 2010
Rating:

"Just don't vote" this November

for Obama's party - create a job by democratically removing Pelosi from her current position of Speaker.

written by Tcoah, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Human spontaneous combustion rates on the rise

One theory: The American People r just so sick of Pelosi they melt and catch fire spontaneously

written by Tcoah, 19 February 2010
Rating:

See infra

Obama's polling falling faster than physics can explain

written by Tcoah, 19 February 2010
Rating:

GPS from beyond the Grave

Man enters the gates of Hell riding his pick-up truck only for the GPS to say, "You have arrived at your FINAL destination."

written by Tcoah, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Biden on Iran

"We will seek a resolution from the world-community." Reporter: "But Sir, isn't Iran part of the 'world community', so doesn't that mean you will never get a resolution from the world community?"

written by Tcoah, 19 February 2010
Rating:

There'll be hell to pay for when Grandpa finds out!!

Morgan Freeman = Enema From Gran

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

What Obama really is

Recorded at an Obama friendly meeting: 'I'm a citizen of the World before I am an American.'

written by Tcoah, 19 February 2010
Rating:

"Let's be crystal clear"

'I will not stand for ABC, nor will I stand for XYZee, but I will stand for ATF", said Obama.

written by Tcoah, 19 February 2010
Rating:

United Nations admits gross error

Himalayan glaciers will not melt in 35 years, but in 35 weeks.

written by Tcoah, 19 February 2010
Rating:

And two Polish smallholdings...

Morgan Freeman = One German Farm

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Tightfisted diver?

Morgan Freeman = Meaner Frogman

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

He's so wet

Warren Beatty = Watery Banter

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

He's despotic!

Warren Beatty = Beware Tyrant

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

A little dasha in the Bushy thickets...

Carla Bruni = Rural Cabin

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Academic scoring tool?

Carla Bruni = Anal Rubric

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Taking the piss?

Carla Bruni = Crab Urinal

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Shuttle Cock

Female astronaut accuses fellow aboard of asking her to look at his penis. Accused claims he kept saying "Venus! Venus!"

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Joseph Stack solution to owing money to IRS

Joseph Stack owed a stack of money to the IRS so he flew his light aircraft into an IRS office and killed himself but it wont stop taxes. As they say there are only two things certain DEATH & TAXES

written by SPECTRUM, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Strange Apology

Tiger Woods: "I was unfaithful, I had affairs ..."
and worst of all, I played DOOM between sex sessions.

written by Tcoah, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Vanna Attacked

Contestant on The Wheel of Fortune kicked out for tackling Vanna White. "I decided it was now or never!"

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

OJ Cracking Up

O J Simpson moved again. Tells reporter, "Awwww ya dasn't has to call me OJ..you can call me J or you can call me Ray or you can call me O or you can call me Bo, but ya dasn't has to call me OJ."

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Mean Prison Folk

O J Simpson moved to yet another cell. Now wants everyone to call him P.J.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

O J Moved Again

O J Simpson moved to yet another cell. "Now I know what they mean by 'doing hard time'!"

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Madoff's Complaint

Bernie Madoff complaining in low security prison that they are no longer leaving a mint on his pillow at night.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

They Told Me To!

Arkansas man hired with seven others to fill a seat at theater, fired after taking job too literally.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Dog Fight! Dog Fight!

Veteran's death aged 109 leaves just two survivors who fought in World War I: Snoopy & The Red Baron.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

"I'll Mustard Gas Him!"

Veteran's death aged 109 leaves just two survivors who fought in World War I, fighting over who has who's teeth.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

"Eagles Don't Sound Vicious Enough"

Philadelphia Eagles decide to keep their nickname despite effort to change it to the Philadelphia Fighting Ferrets!

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

President Staying Positive

President Obama still trying to put a bright side on things, calls our present situation "Those wonderful nostalgic 1930s" during his speech yesterday.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Like Our Prez With Baseball

Prince Harry gets to do the honors of throwing the first punch at the next soccer riots.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Wheels Of Justice Grind Slow, Especially Over The Slow

Arkansas man found guilty of murder in the first degree after killing friend who told him the ending to "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas" in 1982.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Goggle Yanks Poverty Ad

Google has decided to fire the VP in charge of Internet Ads in the wake of this week's new advertisement which reads: "Global Poverty: Try It!"

written by Daniel Bristol, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Tiger to be tamed by Lama

Tiger Woods is to follow Buddhist philosophy and is to meet the Dalai Lama

written by SPECTRUM, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Coldest Feb. In 24 Years

Britain on course for coldest February for 24 years as snow causes rush hour chaos yet again. Yet another Al Gore effigy found hanging from tree.


written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Party Time!

Guy thrown off Arkansas jury for the eighth time for pulling his necktie up over his head and hanging his tongue out while staring at the accused.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Star Struck

Guy thrown off Arkansas jury for the seventh time for loudly proclaiming, "Which one's Matlock?"

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Another bastard

Silvio Berlusconi = Vicious Boner's Ill

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Wears it riding his Lambretta

Silvio Berlusconi = Blue Silicon Visor

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Nasty effect in ear implants

Silvio Berlusconi = Silicon Lobe Virus

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Nasty campanology

Silvio Berlusconi = Vicious Iron Bells

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Ronnie Raygun was one mean bastard

Silvio Berlusconi = Libels Vicious Ron

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Acid erosion

Silvio Berlusconi = Bile Scours Violin

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Blame global warming

Silvio Berlusconi = Ruins Visible Cool

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Billie Jean King's racoon is sick,sick, sick!

Silvio Berlusconi = Billie's Coon Virus

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Tasty morsel

Silvio Berlusconi = I Love Cub's Sirloin

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Slippery and evasive?

Silvio Berlusconi = Is Illusive Bronco

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Soviet Bloc Ebola?

Silvio Berlusconi = Lionise Bloc Virus

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

More crude stuff

Silvio Berlusconi = Incubi Lovers' Oils

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Worse than succubus duets!

Silvio Berlusconi = Incubi's Viler Solo

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Popeye would be furious!

Silvio Berlusconi = Olive's Bionic Slur

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Myopic idiot

Silvio Berlusconi = Obscure Ill Vision

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Crudely bitter

Silvio Berlusconi = Vincible Oil Sours

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Shades of the Emperor's New Clothing

Silvio Berlusconi = Invisible Colours

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Kirstie Alley Stalker

California man arrested for constantly harassing Kirstie Alley by following her around yelling, "She's Gonna Blow!!!"

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Hung Jury?

Guy thrown off Arkansas jury for the sixth time for loudly proclaiming "Well, I can't help it. I got the crabs again!"

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Juryman Gets Hungry

Guy thrown off Arkansas jury for the fifth time for he loudly proclaims "I get hungry so I got my pockets full of Sugar Pops. Nudge me if you want a handful!"

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

"Ain't He A Dickens?"

Guy thrown off Arkansas jury for the fourth time for passing around new pics of his grandson.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

"Sit Down Over There!"

Guy thrown off Arkansas jury for the third time for starting "The Wave".

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Progress In Afghanistan

Signs of progress in Islamabad as first new "Camel Hut" opens in ten years.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Especially In Arkansas

2010 Census workers are warning people asking loonie who ask, "Does this include haints? We got at least three."

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Include Everybody.

2010 Census workers are warning people about paeople that are always bringing up "including the chained idiot in the basement?"

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Pity The Census Taker

2010 Census workers are warning people against jokers who scream their answers at the top of their lungs, pretending they are deaf.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

As in Bon Marley & the....

Serena Williams = Seminal Wailers

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

New Census Workers

2010 Census workers are warning people to not go into another and come back out as twin, triplet, other personality.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Argentina's Beef

Flashpoint in The Falklands: Argentine anger as British oil rig moves in today and MoD beefs up our forces. "And using OUR beef", complains Argentine.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Time To Think It Over

Former lovers get married 27 years after splitting up as they rekindle romance on Facebook as she finally agrees to pull for Manchester United.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Nothing phoney about her joy

Serena Williams = A Real Smile Wins

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Worse Than Getting Hit With Golf Club

'We deserved our punishment': What three Muslim women said after being caned for having sex outside marriage. Viewers notice Tiger Woods never sits during press conference.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Dinosaurs May Have To Go

Tories' secret plan to kill off party dinosaurs. Claim dinosaurs jar the ground during parties until they can't sleep.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Marine defences?

Serena Williams = I'm Seawall Rinse

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Restaurant Suuuueeeeeeddd!

Arkansas farming family sues McDonald's over discovering baby pig in glass of milk. Sheriff suspicious.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Restaurant Sued

Arkansas farming family sues McDonald's over discovering cow manure in their food. Sheriff suspicious.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Pongy fancyman

Serena Williams = A Smellier Swain

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Blame Peter Tosh and Bunny Wailer!

Serena Williams = Wailers' Menials

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Raining men, halleluia!

Serena Williams = Rallies Manwise

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Firewall for convents?

Serena Williams = Seminaries' Wall

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Gold statute?

Serena Williams = Mineralises Law

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Tibetan Spiritual Leader's cellars?

Serena Williams = Llama's Wineries

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Radio beast!

Serena Willians = Wireless Animal

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Wrong Canary Island

Ryanair 'abandons passengers' on wrong Canary Island after landing in thunderstorm. "Thought it was the Yellow & Black one", says pilot.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Viet Cong ritual lamb?

Samantha Cameron = A 'Nam Sacrament Ho

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Takes The Chill Out!

New York City Health Department closes down street vendor after he began selling Wino Sidewalk Soup!

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Psychics Try To Help!

Atlanta Psychic Convention determines that you could be possessed if you keep noticing that you always leave a little tooth-brush mustache whenever you shave.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Huw Edwards fancies her!

Samantha Cameron = A Anchorman's Mate

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Then You Die!

Atlanta Psychic Convention determines that you could be possessed if you begin daydreaming about sex with Kirstie Alley with her on top.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

No Surprise There!

Atlanta Psychic Convention determines that you could be possessed if no one has ever, ever, ever been able to slip up on you from behind.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Pyschics Know These Things

Atlanta Psychic Convention determines that you could be possessed if, whenever you fart, a blue blaze shoots out of your ass.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

That's A Sure Tipoff!

Atlanta Psychic Convention determines that you could be possessed if your voice suddenly sounds like Lurch of the Addams Family.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Cowell Claims Woman Will Win!

Simon Cowell thinks a woman will win 'Idol', after long talk last night.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Frantic I call it

Cayman Islands = Say Manic Lands

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

GOP Keeps Private Insurance

Obama keeps all-Democratic health care option open as the government may only insure Democrats.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Disgusting!

Cayman Islands = Miss Anal Candy

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

After Several Lose Roof Of Mouth

Glaxo to remove zinc, Gorilla Glue from its denture cream!

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

What's in a name?

Cayman Islands = Alias Damn Sync

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Looking for trouble

Cayman Islands = In Malady Scans

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Marine Census Off To Good Start

Marine census grows near completion of first stage, starting with over 10 million dolphins.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Blame global warming!

Cayman Islands = An Icy Landmass

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

War On Cane Toads Proceeding

Australian study uses cat food in war on cane toad. Allow cats to get hungry, sprinkle Meow Mix on toads.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Friends Hadn't A Clue

Friends didn't see pilot's passion for IRS feud. "But he was really upset over the Colts losing."

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Beach bum?

Cayman Islands = Sly Sand Maniac

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Sweat Lodge Dodge?

Guru charged in sweat lodge deaths says he's broke, after the truth was sweated out of him.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Taken The Piss

Endeavour astronauts say goodbye to space station, piss machine and HELLO HOUSTON!!!

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Took A Chance, There

Brazil: all 64 rescued after Canadian ship sinks. Critics say it would have been easier if they could have saved them BEFORE ship sank.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Don't Last Long

Niger junta names platoon commander as its leader! Apparently he drew the short straw.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

MacKillop First Aussie Saint

Mother Mary MacKillop becomes 1st Australian saint. Ruins Aussie opening line, "While we're no saints, ourselves...."

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Homeland Security Alerted!

Origin of key cosmic explosions unraveled. "Mostly Klingon terrorists", say experts.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Toyota Prez Recovering

Toyota's president to testify before Congress..as soon as he's out of hospital from wreck caused by shoddy brakes.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Woods Sort Of Foggy

Woods starts comeback with a speech. "It all started with that fart on live television...."

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Dastardly business!

Cayman Islands = In Yams Scandal

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

It's all in the snort

Cayman Islands = Nasal Dynamics

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Japanese Suffering From Whales Withdrawal

Australia threatens Japan over whaling program. May cut off supply of kangaroo meat.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Flower power tribal chief

Cayman Islands = Daisy Clansman

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Needs More Fiber

Oklahoma City bombing conspirator Terry Nichols says he's going on a hunger strike as he claims prison officials don't provide him a fiber-rich diet. Prison sends in bigger inmate to increase fiber.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Privates Plans Costlier

Premiums jump 14 percent on Medicare private plans. Even higher if yu want to insure more than your privates.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Med Marijuana Getting Out Of Hand

Origin of key cosmic explosions unraveled. Team of Potheads say they saw it actually happened in slow motion.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Balls To That!

Left and right united in opposition to controversial scrotum decision. I'm sorry, that should be SCOTUS decision.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

IRS Declares War On Taxpayers!

Texas man angry with IRS crashes plane into office. IRS immediately locks up all his assets. May tax family, friends that urged him on.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

No criminals here!

London Fashion Week = Sink A Hoedown Felon

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Taliban Suspects Held

Pakistan will not hand Taliban suspects to US. "All you will do is feed them better and care for them better than any time in their lives."

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Tiger Gets Counseling

Tiger Woods starts comeback with a speech. "I'm headed back to the sex clinic. They have some great babes there."

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Satan's leading 'em by the nose!

London Fashion Week = A Fiend's Woolen Honk

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Tiger Comes Back

Tiger Woods starts comeback with a speech. "Not only did I screw up, I also screwed down and sideways."

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Woods Speech

Tiger Woods starts comeback with a speech. "Well, I screwed up...many, many, many times."

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Tiger speaks out at news conference....

"I'm sorry to one and all. It was just a matter of using my putter on too many holes."

written by PP Rega, 19 February 2010
Rating:

There was sheep trouble aboard the Ark

London Fashion Week = Noah Knifed Woolens

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Probably cloven if it's Kate Moss

London Fashion Week = A Known Linseed Hoof

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Peel away the layers....

London Fashion Week = Know A Fleshed Onion

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Steamed up about faux libretti?

Maria Sharapova = A Sham Aria Vapor

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Conceived via Islamic IVF?

Maria Sharapova = A Sharia Pram Ova

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

She's no outcast

Maria Sharapova = A Samovar Pariah

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Meatloaf makes a statement

Singer Meatloaf has confirmed he is a vegetarian

written by SPECTRUM, 19 February 2010
Rating:

"Obama defies China by meeting Dalai Lama but makes him leave via rubbish bags at side exit"

Begs question: what is Obama on?

written by Tcoah, 19 February 2010
Rating:

The Truth About Hulk Hogan and Lady Gaga

83-year old Hulk Hogan's 'Little Hogan' has gotten so small that even Lady Gaga is now saying that she has more down there than he does.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Hey, Remember That Funny Guy With The Weird Red Hairdo?

Conan O'Brien says that he has just received his first unemployment check.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 February 2010
Rating:

The Frito Bandito Is Coming Back - But Damn!!!

Frito Lay will be re-introducing the very popular Frito Bandito. But they say that in keeping with being politically correct he will ride sidesaddle and munch with a lisp.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Leslie Nielsen's 14th Naked Gun Movie

Leslie Nielsen has just announced that he will start filming Naked Gun 14 - The I Forget What Years.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Kirstie Alley's Spectacular Job Offer

Well it finally happened. The Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey Circus has offered Kirstie Alley a full time job as their circus fat lady.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 February 2010
Rating:

The Extremely Versatile Robin "Hey Look At My Crotch" Williams

Robin Williams will star in The Story of The Monty Python Flying Circus. Williams will be portraying all six parts.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 February 2010
Rating:

The Biggest Decision In Chile's History

The government of Chile has decided to change the spelling of its name to the more popular Chili.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Chris Brown's New Unbelievable First Name

Chris Brown says that due to all of the bad publicity he has been receiving due to his physically attacking Rihanna he has decided to change his name. His new name will be Bobby Brown.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 February 2010
Rating:

The New and Exciting Sanford and Son

NBC will begin filming episodes of The New Sanford and Son Sit-Com. General Larry Platt will portray Fred and Gary Coleman will portray his son Lamont.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 February 2010
Rating:

The Statue of Liberty Did Not Get Her Stimulus Package

In keeping with the ongoing recession, the government will replace the Statue of Liberty's torch with a sparkler.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Tiger Woods Paid Two Women To Keep Quiet About Sex...

The rest were given autographed golf balls instead.

written by Adam Click, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Mahmoud Knows History

Iran's Mahmoud Ahmadinejad warns the West: "This will be a lot different that your 1960's British invasion of America!"

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Iran Threat

Iran's Mahmoud Ahmadinejad advises West: Better use your bathrooms first because we'll nuke the shit out of you!

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Iran Warning

Iran's Mahmoud Ahmadinejad warns West that before they take on Iran, they need to try someone easier like France.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

US Army SOS!

New York City Health Departments closes down street vendor fo selling shit on a shingle by using real shit.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Getting More Stict

new York City Health Departments closes down street vendor for carrying extra sausages in his pockets to keep them warm.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Taliban Chronicle "...forget the E Revolution We will Survive."

Scottish Pigeon Fanciers UK Ltd. have sold off their stock of homing pigeons to retrain for the Taliban. 'ban leaders explain their purchase - "the Scots get rich and no one can trace our messages!"

written by iscrivener, 19 February 2010
Rating:

US Admits We Don't Know Where You LIve

In a bid to avoid tracing and location Taliban and Al Qaeda chiefs have resorted to learning and decoding languages Klingon, Gaelic and Dobie Cung. The Pentagon, Microsoft and M16 are totally bemused!

written by iscrivener, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Obama Wins Another One

President Barack Obama named Man of the Year by 'Time To Leave The White House' Magazine!

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Running Out Of Space

One millionth Star of Hollywood leaves their hand prints four blocks down from in front of Grauman's Chinese Theatre.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Monkey on the Run!

Dubai officals now suspect an Irish organ grinder and his pet monkey as the Mossad Perps who took out the Hamas Military Commander in a 5* Hotel. Pursuit continues; Monkey is leaving lots of clues.

written by Morse, 19 February 2010
Rating:

More Weight Problems

Voting regulators say that "If You Can't Get In The Booth, You Can't Vote!" Urge weight loss between now and this November.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Copper, Silver Also Up!

Gold hits $1200 an ounce. Sales of metal detectors at $1200 each.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Found: Monkey with Amnesia, micro chipped on Penis.

Return guaranteed if you can confirm his real name on chip. All other Monkey Lovers and Pretenders need not apply. BTW: only discovered chip when he got hard and tried to shag the cat

written by Morse, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Figures

Last great American protest song of the Sixties used in a insurance sales commercial. From now on, it's the blues!

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Survey Plus/Minus 50%

Fewer Teens Drinking, smoking, huffing, doing drugs. More teens lying to people doing surveys than ever.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Teeth Gap Widens Also

Rich-Poor Gap Widens at faster pace than Big-Small gap between dinosaurs, three million years ago.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2010
Rating:

Obama Mandates taking 13M Acres of Western Land as Wild Life Preserves!

White House announces joint venture with Kenyan President Mwai Kibaki who promises to sendrnative Kenyans to populate the area for a theme park.
Park to be named George and Zeituni + 8,000,000.

written by Morse, 19 February 2010
« Jan 2010 February 2010 Mar 2010 »
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
1st
86
2nd
147
3rd
172
4th
155
5th
154
6th
142
7th
123
8th
109
9th
183
10th
146
11th
0
12th
163
13th
115
14th
136
15th
133
16th
93
17th
180
18th
185
19th
183
20th
211
21st
121
22nd
99
23rd
134
24th
166
25th
99
26th
113
27th
109
28th
150

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 plus 1?

4 21 16 6


Go to top