Order by:
Rating:

Terminal 6 protestors livid

Heathrow Airport = Warpath Hero Riot

written by queen mudder, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Petty pyramid scheme argument?

Heathrow Airport = Trite Pharaoh Row

written by queen mudder, 12 February 2010
Rating:

More upmarket than Gatwick?

Heathrow Airport = Aha, Worthier Port

written by queen mudder, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Son of Sam qualms

Yorkshire Ripper = Proper Heir Risky

written by queen mudder, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Sprat apologises

Yorkshire Ripper = Kipper Heir Sorry

written by queen mudder, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Virus annoys famous rehab

Yorkshire Ripper = Herpes Irk Priory

written by queen mudder, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Dangerous around the edges

Yorkshire Ripper = Or Periphery Risk

written by queen mudder, 12 February 2010
Rating:

More sinned against than sinning?

Saddam Hussain = Diss A Sad Human

written by queen mudder, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Run for cover!

Saddam Hussain = Maid's Anus Dash

written by queen mudder, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Flithy little pervert!

Saddam Hussain = Had Sadism Anus

written by queen mudder, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Downcast about all that nakedness

Sadam Hussain = Aha, Sad Nudisms

written by queen mudder, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Tortured over The Mirror's headlines?

Saddam Hussain = Had A Sun Sadism

written by queen mudder, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Kinda lachrymose PR guy after forgetting the teriyaki sauce!

Saddam Hussai= Sad Sushi Ad Man

written by queen mudder, 12 February 2010
Rating:

His water nymphs got the big numbers

Saddam Hussain = Naiads Had Sums

written by queen mudder, 12 February 2010
Rating:

American Handmaid's Tail/Tale?

Saddam Hussain = US Handmaid Ass

written by queen mudder, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Rejected Swiss cultural movements

Saddam Hussain = A Dadaisms' Shun

written by queen mudder, 12 February 2010
Rating:

President Reassues Haitians

Haiti will not die, President Rene Preval insists. And even if we do, we still be zombies.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Eager Beaver

Rookie traffic cop in Little Rock, Arkansas stops weaving car for breath analyzer, walking straight line, stool and urine samples.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Chatting up the hookers

Adolf Hitler = Ho Flirt Deal

written by queen mudder, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Arkansas # 54

18-Year-Old McDonald's Worker in Maggoty, Arkansas all over county sheriff's ass for spilling cola on the counter

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Brain was brimming with rubbish

Adolf Hitler = Rot Fill Head

written by queen mudder, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Ill fated?

Adolf Hitler = Oh, Ill-Farted

written by queen mudder, 12 February 2010
Rating:

New Act To Legalise Concubine Relationships

Rumours circulating social networking sites are backing a Valentine's Day proposal from electro pop singer song writer Little Boots to 80's legend Gary Numan who is supporting Labour's UK Polygamy Act

written by iscrivener, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Website Nuisance: Sign Language Needed

Adolf Hitler = Hi, Deaf Troll

written by queen mudder, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Nothing funny about his annexation of Sudetenland...

Adolf Hitler = A Droll Thief

written by queen mudder, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Clung on to the lemon sponge pudding, the creme caramel, etc

Adolf Hitler = Hold A Trifle

written by queen mudder, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Yeah, with a lot of nasty Aryan Brotherhood nonsense!

Adolf Hitler = Filled Torah

written by queen mudder, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Under 'H' for hooker?

Adolf Hitler = Filed Harlot

written by queen mudder, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Local moron was delighted

Adolf Hitler = Thrilled Oaf

written by queen mudder, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Had a flowery tool!

Adolf Hitler = Florid Lathe

written by queen mudder, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Fatal Norwegian lake attraction?

Adolf Hitler = Lethal Fiord

written by queen mudder, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Stole from Uncle Sam

Adolf Hitler = Dollar Thief

written by queen mudder, 12 February 2010
Rating:

They also found his stash of ribeye, sirloin and T-bone

Adolf Hitler = Fillet Hoard

written by queen mudder, 12 February 2010
Rating:

No bathroom in the Berlin Bunker!

Adolf Hitler = Filth Ordeal

written by queen mudder, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Just a lot of foamy spume?

Adolf Hitler = Allied Froth

written by queen mudder, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Incorrigible banter from this fetid old Nazi

Adolf Hitler = Haloed Flirt

written by queen mudder, 12 February 2010
Rating:

He was always dishing the dirt

Adolf Hitler = Filth Loader

written by queen mudder, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Prince Andrew strikes policeman and promises to behead him!

Prince "Randy" Andy struck a policeman with his limo outside the palace doing his duty; He has vowed, "if any other moronic policeman attempts to stop me, i'll have his head off!" Arrogant twat!

written by Jaggedone, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Old Diget Was Nuts

An old Memo from J. Edgar Hoover of the FBI says that when he wore a dress, agents were to call him, "Digit Bardot".

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Say What?

Sing of Obama wearing himself out doing speeches and personal appearances as today he recommended that the taxes on dog collars be dropped.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Scientific Breakthrough

U.S. scientists have announced that they have just discovered some Chinese scientist hiding in lab closet.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Gotten To Third Base

President Obama's US Ambassador to Saudi Arabia reports that his relationship to the king there has gone beyond that of him and Bush holding hands.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Arkansas #53

Hoover salesman's demonstration shows Arkansas family dozens of braincells in TV room carpet, accumulating over the past 35 years.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Arkansas #52

Neighbors of Serial Killer thought his behavior in public caused by being raised in Arkansas.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

"Well-Digger's Ass Close Behind!"

"Third "Witches Tit" warning about another snowstorm headed for the Northeast this coming week.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

"I Have A Dream"

Reid, Pelosi say that President Obama's "I Have A Dream About A Giant Marshmallow" speech in North Carolina last week was right up there with the Gettysburg Address.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Gore Bushwhacked

Gore kicked in the nuts by farmer as he goes to lectern to speak about Global Warming hits High C Levels!

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

The "We Are You Gang"

Identity theft ring still trying to come out with a catchy name so they will become famous.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Helen Keller had 20/20 vision

Helen Keller's diary was found in at a yard sale in Intercourse Pa. today. On page one it states, I can see and hear just fine. I just like all the attention

written by Boone Adams, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Limbaugh Sees Shadow

Rush Limbaugh sees his shadow. Six more years of teeth grinding for democrats.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Nobody's Laughing But Reid, Pelosi

Obama: "We could make billions of dollars by adding $1 to each pack of cigarettes. I say we ask smokers to cough it up! I said, we ask smokers to cough it up! Why have all of you turned against me?"

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

No Plans On Iran

Vice President Joe Biden says the US will not blow up Iran's nuclear facilities right at this time. "Wait a minute.... OK..now we have!

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Snows Piling Up

Snow and ice continue to hit the whole Eastern US, Britain. Meanwhile, The Human Torch just sits on his lazy ass.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Good News?

President Obama: Social Security will hold up until 2050 if we take away $5 per month every year.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Old testament training for Hull's flood victims

Drenched homeowners in Hull were shocked to hear suggestions from local councillors to 'learn the lessons from the past' as they were urged to re-read the ordeals of Noah in lieu of hardship payments.

written by Jenko Tiger, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Celebituaries: Alexander McQueen

Paramedics arrived on the scene and pronounced McQueen fashionably late. Although he came out of the closet in a body bag by Versace, the clothing innovator will now be limited to a wooden overcoat.

written by neilwatson, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Celebituaries: Walter Frederick Morrison

The inventor of the frisbee has died, aged 90. He is hoping to come back as a boomerang.

written by neilwatson, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Dems Become Loony Bat-Sh*t Party . . . again

Today the Democratic Party reorganized itself as the "Loony Bat-Sh*t Party". Its first act will be to ban oxygen use, birthday clowns, and heterosexual sex, as well as to place a heavy tax on lint.

written by Daniel Bristol, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Arkansas #51

Arkansas Announces Plans To Clean Up State For Tourism: "Boss Hogg hisself is coming here."

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

No Sports Cut

University slammed for dropping pre-1700 UK history from syllabus just one week after budget cuts. "Next time we receive we're teaching only events after 2000."

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Something's Going On In There

£1million cannabis plantation found inside former high street bank as police observe customers still making cash deposits.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Ticket Targets Still On

Parking warden vultures 'still given ticket targets' of seven per day, discovered pushing cars into no-parking zones.


written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Two Cases Decided

Christian British Airways employee sent home for wearing cross loses appeal over religious discrimination. Muslim prayers in middle of aisle Ok'd

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Go Ahead, Punk!

'Decent middle-aged man' spared jail after stabbing teenager who attacked him in his own home..yard..basement..in attic.at neighbors house next door and police station.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Caught In The Acts

Caught in the act! Doctor installs CCTV to catch stalker ex-lover attacking her car, crapping on doorstep.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Press Secretary Gibbs in Fishnets

White House Press Secretary Gibbs donned a pair of fishnet stockings and came to his daily press briefing singing show tunes today. Reporters thrilled to his rendition of "Hello, Dolly!"

written by Daniel Bristol, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Be Silent And Submit

Vicar outrages congregation by telling women to 'be silent and submit to your husbands'. Husbands tell wives it's OK to moan a bit.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Flaw Needs Corrections

'Flaw' in chip and PIN 'means thieves can use cards without needing security code'. Identity thieves told to return cards immediately.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Jobs For Afghan

Expert says What Afghanistan needs: job creation. Complete idiot: Same here!

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Delta Expands

Delta adding new North Dakota service by adding three helicopters.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Predicting Record Snows

East Coast digs out from storm for record books, as record books buried under snow for now.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Genes Linked T-To St-Studdering

Scientists find first genes linked to stuttering through early cases of the Swine stutterers, such as Porky Pig.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Mumps On The Rise

Mumps outbreak in NY, NJ tops 1,500 cases. Authorities first thought it was normal fat jowls.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Bald Neanderthals

DNA suggests even ancient man had baldness issues. "Plenty of hair everywhere but on their heads", says scientist.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Feds No Help!

Feds pass on surest solution to Asian carp advance. Learn to love their taste.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Shed Some Light

NASA launches observatory to study sun. Still looking for a safe place to land.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Double Agents

Shell employee list leaked to environmental groups, as Environmentalist linked to Shell Oil Company.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Wide But Thin

Obama strategy widens assault on terrorists as we now have 1,000 troops in 100 countries.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Talks Going On?

US and Afghan troops ring Taliban stronghold. Ask to talk with the head Taliban through secretary.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Recovery Falters

Eurozone recovery falters, Germany flat, French full of hot air.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Tax This Captain Healthcare!

Marvel Comics' depiction of anti-tax protesters inspires anger, apology. Also for using the "R" word.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Wars Escalation

Marines push 'The Breacher' against Taliban lines. Taliban ready with catapults.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Lots Of Skeptics

Democrats skeptical health care summit is answer. Complain that Republics too skeptical.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Also, 300 UFO's

Iran supreme leader lauds state rally, warns West that they now have 200,000 nuclear missiles.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Clinton Doing Better

Bill Clinton leaves NYC hospital with 25 new nurses cellphone numbers after heart check-up.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Too Much Snow

Schools concerned about making up missed snow days, may have to do double shifts.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Switching To Beer

Salt supplies running low, as many shut-ins from weather hit the margaritas.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Needs Management

Jury awards $12 million to woman with brain injury. Uses thousands as toilet paper, pick up dog poo.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Laser Defense

U.S. successfully tests airborne laser on missile launched at us from somewhere.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Three New Breeds

3 new breeds to be showcased at Westminster show, with the Greypoodle looking the strangest.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Here's Your G.W.

Schools close as South starts getting rare snow. Mayors sending truckloads to dump on Al Gore's acres.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Clinton in health scare

Former US President "Slick Willy" Clinton has had a stent placed in his penis to enable him to "get it up" when the occasion calls. Those Haitian women really demand a lot from American "wanna be's".

written by whatinthe world, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Indiana Troubles

Indiana-made Humvee, Indianapolis Colts, could soon be Army, football relics?

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Kennedy's Final Leaving

Rep. Patrick Kennedy's decision not to seek re-election will leave Washington without a Kennedy in political office for the first time since first congress after 1792.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Marvel Comics Flub

Marvel Comics' depiction of anti-tax protesters inspires anger, apology, possibility of riots in the street.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Wheels Of Justice

Sleuths unravel 16th-century Italian murder mystery. Arrests expected soon.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Spiritual Brain

Links to Spirituality Found in the Brain, taught in the Bible for thousands of years as "spirit in man".

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Taliban Breached

Marines push 'The Breacher' against Taliban lines as they fire and bomb from their side.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Trouble In Toyotaland

Toyota to expand disclosure amid pressure on CEO. Admit there's also a problem with motors, steering and flip overs, but that's all.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Dems Ax Bill

Senate Dems ax bipartisan jobs bill. Want Democrats hired first.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Eurostar train breaks down in cold weather

Eurostar trains to and from Disneyland kept breaking down in the cold weather Scot Montgomery Scott said "we cannae beam people out if they are stuck in the tunnel the train Disney work in winter.

written by SPECTRUM, 12 February 2010
Rating:

VP Biden's Accomplishments

Vice President Biden took credit for winning the Iraq war, troop drawdown and placing condom machines in all the ladies rooms on Capitol Hill!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Toyota's Political Problem

House Speaker Pelosi's Prius has a steering problem that causes it to pull to the far left, thus tying up the flow of traffic on Capitol Hill.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Snow, Snow, Snow

Snow has paralyzed Washington DC, such that the federal government is shut down. Citizen groups have rented snow making machines to be employed around the US Capitol & the White House until November.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Reducing Childhood Obesity

Harry says "When I was a kid we walked 10 miles to school through 3 feet of snow, barefoot carrying 10 pounds of books. Eliminate school busses to reduce childhood obesity, save money & be green."

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 February 2010
Rating:

No S**t Sherlock

President Obama says that green technology is not ready and we must rely on traditional forms of energy for a long while! Engineers have been trying to tell this to Democratic left wing liberal loons!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 February 2010
Rating:

More about Snow

The snow storm of 2010 dumped about 24 inches in Baltimore MD. Joe the snow shoveler recently said "he only got 6 inches!"

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Lost in the Woods

President Obama says he is not an ideo-log! Then why is the president's legislative agenda so il-log-ically left wing?

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Left wing Liberals Bolt Democratic Party

Far left wing liberals bolt the Democratic Party and form the far out overzealous liberal socialist (FOOLS) party. Conservative Democrats and Republicans now rule the US House and US Senate.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 February 2010
Rating:

I Can't Hear You

Press Secretary Gibbs defended why the president has not gone on TV to denounce the Iranian regime for civil rights violations & support the protesters; President Obama has had laryngitis for a year.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Got Band-Aids?

President Obama sent Presidential Press Secretary Gibbs out to local pharmacies to buy all the band-aids he could get for the health care bills, prior to the meeting with Republican leaders.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Democrats Develop Amnesia

President Obama & Senate Democrats believe the president should make recess appointments. Amnesia is rampant, as Obama & the same Senators railed against former President Bush for such appointments!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Bold Rumor

The elitist Obama administration cannot seem to connect the dots on anything! Yet, they want people to believe climate change is real by connecting 100,000 years of non-existing dots.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Another Hat in the Ring

Pat Paulsen's son, Monty Paulsen, is preparing for a 2012 election run for the White House. President Obama, Sarah Palin and both major party officials could not be reached for comment.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Additional Research is Required

Chocolate pistachio brownie bars; doughnuts & licorice; chili peppers; & guacamole may stimulate sexual activity. A smiling group of researchers will now develop metrics based on extensive testing.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Why the Obama Administration Canceled Moon Landings

The GAO indicated that the Obama Administration canceled future manned moon landings because the same software engineers that designed Internet Explorer won the new shuttle contract.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Typical Bureaucratic Logic

To fight childhood obesity, 2010 census takers will check refrigerators and kitchen cabinets and then confiscate designated items. Contraband food will be shipped overseas to feed starving children!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 February 2010
Rating:

The IRS Changed My Life

Dottie says "The IRS took my Bra & panties because I couldn't pay my taxes. Thank you IRS, I am now a pole dancer making more money than some IRS agents. In fact I see a few of them at my club!"

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Snow Job

Mother Nature's snow job has paralyzed Washington DC. However, Democratic House Speaker Pelosi's liberal left wing snow job has been doing that for several years.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 February 2010
Rating:

No Debate

Right wing groups to stop spending money on challenging the National Organization of Women (NOW) & Planned Parenthood. Whenever these left wing organizations speak, they shoot themselves in the foot!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Liberal Leave Policy

During the recent Washington DC snow storm, a liberal leave policy was available for government employees to take time off. Conservatives had to come to work!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Justice Served

US Justice Department indicts several civil rights organizations for violating Constitutional rights of 330 million Americans, while defending rights of criminals, terrorists and child molesters.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Health Care Reform Revisited

Conservative Democrats & Republicans have taken over both Houses of Congress. They then agreed, while televised by C-SPAN, on a bipartisan Health Care Bill that President Obama refuses to sign it!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Go West

A mounted posse has run the last Democratic left wing liberal out of the state of Texas. The last visual observation was that of a horse's butt heading west to California!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Amateur Hour

Is there an amateur in the White House? President Obama has heard this and plans to appear on "American Idol" and when in the UK "Britain's Got Talent," where he will sing a duet with Susan Boyle.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Defective Drones

U.S. to recall 1,000 defective drones if any left that went astray. Issues apology for those innocent that we hit.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Tunnel Beating

Officials seek policy change after tunnel beating. From now on, hoodlums must beat up people outside of tunnel, say officials.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Politically Correct

Don't say "mental retardation", the new term: "intellectual disability." No more Asperger's syndrome, call it a mild version of autism instead. And these idiots wasting our time- "Mental Pygmies.'

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Greenland Discovery

Ancient Greenland has a DNA surprise: Surprisingly, the long-dead man found there appears to have originated in Siberia. Of course, this could be a slave or lucky head taken there by Vikings.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Come Soon!

East Coast digs out from storm for record books as cries come from everywhere for global warming to begin.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Exercise For Oldies

London to open 1st exercise area for older people, with volunteers to help any yelling "I've fallen & I can't get up."

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Freeze Heating Up

Climate-Change Debate Is Heating Up in Deep Freeze. Experts: Whether it's colder or warmer or the same, it indicates global warming.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Republicans Plain Mad

Republican leaders in House, Senate say that any person that Obama may get to nominate for the Supreme Court in the future is an idiot.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Country Joe Again

Country Joe and The Fish to rerecord "Zing Went The Strings Of My Carp"

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Arkansas #50

Arkansas Announces Plans To Clean Up State For Tourism: "It's cattle manure, not cow shit!"

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Arkansas #49

Arkansas Announces Plans To Clean Up State For Tourism: "Have your 14-year0old wife to keep them kids out of the road!"

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Arkansas #48

Arkansas Announces Plans To Clean Up State For Tourism: "Remember, 'cotton-picking' is a verb, not an adjective."

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Arkansas #47

Arkansas Announces Plans To Clean Up State For Tourism: "Be sure to chain the family idiot when a stranger approaches."

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Arkansas #46

Arkansas Announces Plans To Clean Up State For Tourism: "Now don't Ya'll be calling them all "Chester".

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Hilton, Madonna Sign

Paris Hilton, Madonna sign long term contract to stay in the news headlines for something outlandish.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Phil Too Fat

Punxsutawney Phil too fat to get back in hole during snowstorm. Predicts six more months of snow unless they get him back in his bed.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Health Care Again

Republicans finally respond to Obama call for healthcare reform. Vote to slash billions from programs until job improvements to pay for it.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Obama's Change

Now Obama Doesn't 'Begrudge' Millions in Bonuses for 'Savvy' Bankers...politicians.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Promoting Smokes?

U.S. would reap billions from $1 cigarette tax hike. Ten billions from $2 cigarette tax hike. Decide to allow cigarette companies to go back advertising.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Do It Yourself!

Berlin and Paris urge backing for Greece. Other's say, "DO IT then!"

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Obama On Obesity

Michelle Obama announces 'obesity' a threat to national security. "Your big ass can be seen from space!"

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Peak Or Peek

Iconic 'Hollywood' sign to be replaced by environmental message.."Save The Peak". Maybe they mean "peek!"

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Byrd Has Flown

West Virginia's Senator Robert Byrd's 'Inner Child' dies at 78, due to being ignored.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Great!

San Diego Zoo says, "Come out and see all the beautiful animals we have behind bars caught and will spend the rest of their lives behind bars or in cages!"

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Head Of Chicken Dept.

Wanted: Chicken beheaders. Check telephone book under 'chicken heads' for Tyson Factory in your area.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Ford Exploder

For Sale: 1973 green and black Ford Pinto. $500. Exploded only once.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Ingraver Quits

For Sale: Tombstone with "Hairy Penis" on it. Little fart quit after designing it. Can you work your name into it? $25

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Taco Lotto

Taco Bell offers free refund if you can score over 100 on the outside fart-o-meter.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Dynamic Duo

Bobby Vee and Adam Lambert to team up and do a remake of "Penis In Blue Jeans".

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

More Fresh Country Joe & Fish

Country Joe and the Fish reunite to perform, "Salmon Janet Evening, You May Sea A Stinger"

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

CJ & Fresh Fish

Country Joe and the Fish reunite to perform, "You Don't Send Me Flounders Anymore"

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Kanye West receives head injury

Obnoxious rapper Kanye West was injured today when a basketball hit him in the face. West was rushed immediately to the hospital for X-Rays of his head. The X-Rays showed nothing.

written by Daniel Bristol, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Congress Down Too

For the fifth straight day winter weather continues to filibuster congress.

written by Bureau, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Spoof website back up after repairs (explanation #1)

The editors that be had to blow the dust from their mainframe TRS-80.

written by Jalapenoman, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Spoof website back up after repairs (explanation #2)

Those responsible have been sacked (except for the llamas). Have you seen the fjords?

written by Jalapenoman, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Spoof website back up after repairs (explanation #3)

The cheese from Mark's toasted sandwich that he left on the computer melted into his CPU and shorted things out.

written by Jalapenoman, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Spoof website back up after repairs (explanation #4)

Al Gore blames global warming.

written by Jalapenoman, 12 February 2010
Rating:

Spoof website back up after repairs (explanation #5)

The squirell's wheel needed new bearings.

written by Jalapenoman, 12 February 2010
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