Order by:
Rating:

Obama cancels Moon return project

He's a big fan of the BAFTA nominated sci-fi classic, starring Sam Rockwell, but the wife and kids wanted to watch Alvin And The Chipmunks 2 instead.

written by Bill Licks, 01 February 2010
Rating:

"No Child Left Behind" Program to Be Reworked by O'Bomba

Now all enrolled students will be Entitled to a Degree and Schools will be Mandated to give them out.

End Game.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Beyonce wins 6 Grammys, Kanye West hospitalised

As Beyonce won 6 Grammys, Kanye West was ecstatic and began a frenzied masturbation session, followed by convulsions and foaming in the mouth. He is currently being treated for excessive anxiety.

written by bigd, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Dandruff, Too

Osama bin Laden has released another tape today blaming the United States for rabies. Looks like he's either gotten rabies or else, has run out of things to accuse the US of doing.

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Arkansas Plans #46

Arkansas Announces Plans To Clean Up State For Tourism: "No more skinny dipping this year, especially under county road bridges."

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

"Lost" Lost

ABC embarrassed about having to reshoot the final episode of "Lost" after someone misplaces their first takes.

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Jigsaw killer admits it's not the first victim

He previously took a sledge hammer to a Rubik's cube when he couldn't solve that either.

written by Bill Licks, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Bill Warns Tiger

Friends of Tiger Woods say they can't believe the names of some of the women he's supposedly been seeing. It's gotten to the point that former president Clinton has sent him a "Stay Off" list.

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

"Get away from me, Oscar!!!"

A cat named Oscar has successfully predicted 50 deaths at a Rhode Island nursing home. It is not known if, or when, he will predict one of his own deaths - he's got 9 to choose from.

written by IN SEINE, 01 February 2010
Rating:

'Is it a pelanty?' asks Chris Waddle

'No it's a PENALTY you fuckwit' scream the viewers.

written by Bill Licks, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Switching Parties!

Joe Lieberman says he's thinking about switching parties again. "For some reason, I just love it when someone switches my naked butt."

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Clinton On Parties

Bill Clinton: I don't know why they call themselves the Republican Party. A Republican wouldn't know a party if they walked into a room full of drunk, naked people."

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

David Cameron: Burglars Leave Human Rights at Door

Tory leader, David Cameron has said that burglars leave their human rights at the door. It is alleged that 90% of politicians also leave their human rights at the door, before entering Parliament.

written by IN SEINE, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Prince Harry Falls Off Horse While Trying to Mount

The Older Horse, Affectionately named "Camilla" has been known to be a bit feisty and only lets Charles mount from the rear.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Jigsaw Puzzle Murderer fails to fit the pieces!

After topping and slicing his last victim and not being able to put him together again, the Jigsaw Puzzle murderer became so frustrated he dumped a leg in his own rubbish bin, GOTCHA!

written by Jaggedone, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Obama Tryiing To Improve Relations

President Obama leaves this week for a 10-day trip to Singapore, China, South Korea, and Japan. Hopes to improve relations with all four plus his mother-in-law.

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Claims He Was Possessed By Paul Lynde

Jeopardy apologizes for not cutting drunken contestant's remark, "Alex, I'll take Vibrating Jockey Shorts for $1,000."

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

First Controversy At Olympic Winter Games

Former East German Women's teams upset courtesty bags for athletes didn't include shaving cream or mustache trimmers.

written by Jalapenoman, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Michael Jackson's Kids Speak At Grammys

Even Dolly Parton says "hell, they're whiter than me!"

written by Jalapenoman, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Many Americans Surprised By Grammy Awards

"Were those the Grammys? I thought it was another Michael Jackson funeral or the NAACP Image Awards."

written by Jalapenoman, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Taylor Swift Turns Eyes In Evening Gown at Grammy Awards

Even Adam Lambert Says "I've got bigger tits and could fill out that dress better."

written by Jalapenoman, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Taylor Swift Wins Four Grammy Awards

Kanye West did not present any of her awards.

written by Jalapenoman, 01 February 2010
Rating:

"Where's We Going?"

Man arrested this morning trying to hijack an American Airlines plane this morning turns out to be drunken Delta captain, getting on the wrong plane.

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

President Cuts Funding

After funds cut for NASA moon mission, President Obama says it'll be cheaper just making another film...maybe one to Mars this time.

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

No More Snacks?

All major airlines say they may quit offering any meals or snacks to passengers. "They're big enough, already."

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Wine Is Fine

Study: One drink per day can help clean arteries. Ten drinks a day can help clean your bowels.

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

"You Two Again?"

Obama angry at same party crashers sitting around the table with Michelle's mother this morning. Couple tells Obama they used the White House key under the front door mat.

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

NRA Mad At Obama

The NRA pissed at President Obama over his ban of the private ownership of drones.

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Change In $100 Bills

Treasury Department mulling over idea of placing Picasso paintings on US $100 bills. "They're practically impossible to counterfeit", says Secretary of Treasury, Henry Paulson.

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Economy: Clear As Mud

Inflation in December leads to fears of deflation in 2010, although stagflation could also hit the nation. Plus or minus 3 percent.

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Incidents Few & Far Between

Chupacabras are not likely to tickle the bottoms of your feet, says random generated study.

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

John Terry doeas a Clinton and admits "I never had sex with that woman!"

Chelsea and England captain John Terry is innocent and never had sex with that Bimbo, "she wanted a baby and I obliged, it wasn't a Clinton 'blow Job' and it wasn't sex either" he claimed!

written by Jaggedone, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Military Gay Policy

President still proses doing away with the military's "Don't Ask, We Can Already Tell" policy on gays.

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Skipped Union Speech

Many in the south skipped President Obama's 'State of the Union" address. "We're not in the Union", stated Alabama citizen.

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

But The Kid's Smart

UN panel based claims about disappearing ice from sixth grade student's dissertation, "Is It Hot In Here Or Is It Me?"

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

First Things First

Facing major deficits, 10% unemployment, Obama to take on college football rules.

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Scientist Crack Drugs

Scientists crack HIV/AIDS puzzle for drugs... "It was the only thing we could trade for a fix", says jumpy scientist.

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Iran Threatening

AHMADINEJAD: 'Iran will deliver telling blow to global powers on Feb. 11'. US: Not if you don't surprise "Ground Hog Day Blowout tomorrow."

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Hadn't Busted A Guitar In Years

Pete Townsend may miss Super Bowl halftime show with torn rotator cuff.

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Too Cold Anyway

Today is 'National sickie day' for Britain as 350,000 molesters, flashers take the day off.

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

It's An Iranian Stand-Off!

U.S. deploys land and sea-based missile shield in the Gulf to deter attack from Iran. Russia places missile shield in Iran.


written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Big Freeze Continues

Return of the big freeze as February starts with more snow and temperatures of -7c. Al Gore faces lifetime ban on English soil.

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

New Study Released

Two-thirds on disability benefits are fit to work, costing taxpayers £500million according to study by "You Rotten Beggers Ltd."

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Bag You A Burglar!

'Burglars give up any human rights': David Cameron gets tough on right to defend home. "Call the coroner, not the police."

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

NHS In A Hurry

500,000 hospital patients sent home too soon every year, some still having rectal thermometers still sticking out butts.

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Disputed: Pork Good As Viagra

Argentina's president: Pork is an alternative to Viagra, saying she spent a satisfying night with husband after eating bbq pork. "Not true", states Miss Piggy. "Kermit couldn't hop without his pill."

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

The Invisible Bowl

Schaub helps AFC beat NFC 41-34 in Pro Bowl, that no one ever watches or cares.

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

How to be Politically Correct 7

Do not say "Zoo."

SAy "Safely Enclosed Artificial Animal Habitat."

written by Xinix Xaxx, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Jackson's 3D A Hit

Jackson's 3-D tribute is a hit at Grammy Awards. "Better than live performance", say many.

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Grape, Fish Protectors Clash

Grape growing, fish protection clash in California. Vineyard owners say they are getting drunk and going fishing.

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Scandals Update

UN climate chief plays down scandals! Claims John Edwards, Tiger Woods, good men at heart.

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Paulson Optimistic

Paulson says economy recovering, defends bailout. "We should be completely debt free by 2050!"

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Never Hurts To Check

WHO urging public to have homes tested for illegal immigrants hiding in attics, crawlspace, basements and under beds.

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Obama Axes NASA

Obama axes NASA moon plan in new budget. No more faked moon landing are to be filmed.

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Beyonce Takes Home Six

Beyonce takes 6 Grammys, makes history. Kanye West bouncing off the walls.

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Forgot Which Vessel He Was On

The Coast Guard says a riverboat carrying 80 passengers ran aground near Portland but no one was injured."We tried to tell drunken captain boat wasn't amphibious."

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Seed Shortage

Wet summer, more demand could create seed shortage. Better call up that local sperm bank right now!

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Air Force Makes Mistake

Air Force: Test missile misses its Pacific target and somehow lands in Iran nuclear facilities.

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Plane Lands Safely

Officials say a single-engine aircraft made an emergency landing on the New Jersey Turnpike during the morning rush, but no one is injured. But those on plane, in cars, did not smell nice afterward.

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Oscar The Cat

Book profiles furry angel of death: Oscar the cat always visited patients at nursing home who were about to die. And, he's outside your door at this moment.

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Less Sleep OK

Study shows that healthy adults need less sleep as they age. Bags under eyes considered normal for those over 60.

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Help On The Way

Sticky, smelly Bag Balm: Problem-salving for all, especially men with sticky, smelly bags.

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Toyota Reassures Dealers

Toyota tells dealers parts on way to fix pedals. "The safety checks are in the mail!"

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

US Further In Debt

Obama unveils $3.83T budget with massive deficits. "We must think positive", says the President, through tears and shaking chin.

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

The Face of Angelina Jolie - Ask Men?

Scary.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Tebow Troubles?

1. Can't Throw

1. Taco Bell Store Manager Prospect.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Healthy Adults Need Less Sleep as they Get Older

Hence the never ending do loop tapes of Lawrence Welk.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Publisher Macmillan and Amazon.com Have Dispute about Book Pricing

Former Prime Minister Harold Macmillan returns from the dead and settles the dispute.

written by Gail Farrelly, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Is Taylor Swift Related to Twiggy?

Not Exactly, she's actually just a slice off the ol' Twig. A Very Thin Slice.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 01 February 2010
Rating:

How to be Politically Correct 6

Do not say "Dog."

Say "Canine American."

written by Xinix Xaxx, 01 February 2010
Rating:

How to be Politically Correct 4

Do not cay "cat."

Say "Feline American."

written by Xinix Xaxx, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Wanted: Puppeteer

Left-handedness or ambidexterity a plus. Some experience required be it training or performing. Very long arms a big plus.

written by Xinix Xaxx, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Another Monkey Failure

Six month experiment with room full of monkeys and typewriters fails once again, as they manage to type only two of Shakespeare's sonnets.

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Insult Dropped

President Obama who accused Republicans of acting like a bunch of politicians in last week's speech, apologizes.

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Sounds Life Col. Flagg On MASH

Lots of confusion in Islamabad as spies accuse counter-spies of being double, triple agents.

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Got Use To Them

Study shows that fears of receiving no more penis enlargement e-mails are totally unfounded.

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Mistaken Identity

Eight women walk out of new reality show thinking it was "Joe Millionaire" instead of "Joe The Plumber".

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Petty Cash

Osama Bin Laden spotted in northern Mosul setting money out of an ATM machine.

written by Bureau, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Who Buys a $ 27,000 Suitcase?

U.S. Government, that's who. All high level appointees need and equivalent to O'Bobma care for their documents and papers.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Big Bang Theory

The US National Debt is approaching $13 trillion and the Gross Domestic Product (GDP) is about $15 trillion. Is this what is meant by anti-matter colliding with matter?

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 01 February 2010
Rating:

President Obama may become an Isolationist

The president says he is not an ideologue, yet he is pushing "Cap and Trade" after promising to focus on job creation. If the Republicans take over both houses of Congress, he becomes an isolationist.


written by Philbert of Macadamia, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Massachusetts Message to Republicans

What part of center don't you understand? Right wing ideology tests of Republican incumbents & candidates on social issues, vice solving real problems, will still leave the GOP as Pelosi's doormat.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 01 February 2010
Rating:

Party Symbols set the US Election Race in 2010

Democrats are in disarray as the donkey can't seem to flick a left wing bug off its butt. Republicans are ideologically trying to hobble the elephant by putting lots of undo weight on its right foot.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 01 February 2010
Rating:

It's Orwellian

North Korea is to split into North NK and South NK. The two states will be perpetually at war, provide full civilian/military employment, reduce population and be ignored by the rest of the world.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 01 February 2010
Rating:

USA, USA, USA

Americans of all political stripes (except a few loons at the political extremes) have come to help in Haiti, along with other countries. We don't give a whit what France or Hugo Chavez has to say!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 01 February 2010
Rating:

O'Bomba Wants Retirement Plan for All

One McDonaldyland hanburger per month and one bottle of Vodka to wash it down + O'Bomba Care

written by Richard DagNabbit, 01 February 2010
« Jan 2010 February 2010 Mar 2010 »
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
1st
86
2nd
147
3rd
172
4th
155
5th
154
6th
142
7th
123
8th
109
9th
183
10th
146
11th
0
12th
163
13th
115
14th
136
15th
133
16th
93
17th
180
18th
185
19th
183
20th
211
21st
121
22nd
99
23rd
134
24th
166
25th
99
26th
113
27th
109
28th
150

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