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Google Releases Top 2010 Search Terms

big tits conspicuous in its absence.

written by Catherine the Average, 09 December 2010
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The International Food Federation's Amazing Sardine Mandate

The International Food Federation is discouraging people in Denmark, Norway, and Sweden from eating sardines that blink on and off, smell like a thermometer, and cackle like an egg-laying hen.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 December 2010
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South Korea Reacts To Sarah Palin's "North Korea Is Our Ally" Remark

Ever since Sarah Palin referred to North Korea as being 'our ally' the government of South Korea has banned the baking of the dessert Baked Alaska.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 December 2010
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The Reason Italy Has Banned 'Facebook'

Italy has banned Facebook. Apparently it has something or other to do with the Witness Protection Program.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 December 2010
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"But The Name On The Menu Says Maine Lobsters"

Maine facing a lobster shortage is having to import them from North Dakota lobster farms.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 December 2010
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The World's Only Federal Prison With An Official Musical Instrument

The vuvuzela has just been named as the official musical instrument of Nairobi, Kenya's Tarzan and Jane Federal Prison.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 December 2010
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Bad Headline Number 71

Gay Brothel Hires Himalayan Man

written by IN SEINE, 09 December 2010
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Facebook adds microblogging

Facebook have added a new microblogging platform to their insanely popular social networking service. It is to be called NAROTAA, or "Not a rip-off of Twitter at all" in technical terms.

written by thebalancer, 09 December 2010
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Billionaires Make Pledge to Someday Do Something with Their Money

Billionaires are making pledges to do something with their money, but not right now, because times are tough for them.

written by UWGB-Beek, 09 December 2010
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Mark Zuckerberg Happy Mike Wallace is Too Old

Mark Zuckerberg is glad Mike Wallace is too old for "60 Minutes." "That old man could get anyone to spill the truth. I can't afford for people to know the truth."

written by UWGB-Beek, 09 December 2010
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Snooki Hopes Giant Ball Doesn't Fall on Her

Snooki hopes the giant glittery ball doesn't fall on her this New Years, but does hope to play with some non-glittery balls.

written by UWGB-Beek, 09 December 2010
Rating:

Wesly Snippes Can't Catch a Break

Wesley Snipes says Karma is to blame for him going to jail. "The universe is getting back at me for doing some real bad movies," he said.

written by UWGB-Beek, 09 December 2010
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Mark Zuckerberg Thanks Facebook User For Invaded Privacy

Mark Zuckerberg is thanking Facebook user for their invaded privacy by donating a small fortune he made off the invasion to causes not Facebook related.

written by UWGB-Beek, 09 December 2010
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Three Damn Good Reasons Why The Tea Bag Party Membership Is Skyrocketing!

The Tea Bag Party membership has really shot up in ranks since they began allowing Ku Klux Klaners, the Taliban, and Illegal Aliens.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 December 2010
Rating:

The Reason North Korea Has Fallen In Love With Sarah Palin

North Korea has stated they are so proud to have the support of former Alaskan governor Sarah Palin that they're having bumper stickers printed up that read "Honk If You Wanna Pat Down Sarah Palin."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 December 2010
Rating:

Tiger Woods Is Contemplating Retiring

Tiger Woods has become so disgusted with his golf game that he is thinking about retiring. He remarked he plans on becoming a professional wrestler so he can get his self-pride and self-respect back.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 December 2010
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The Unbelievable Thing That The African Country of Lower Zamgola Is Having To Do

The democratic African country of Lower Zamgola says that due to its economic hardship, free speech will now cost 15 cents a paragraph.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 December 2010
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The Little Bitty Country That The U.S. Is Borrowing Money From

The United States is in such a horrible financial state that it has asked Costa Rica for a loan.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 December 2010
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The Sexiest Nude Stamps In America

The United States Post Office has stated that in order to stimulate stamp sales it will be issuing stamps showing a nude Megan Fox.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 December 2010
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Wikileaks Founder Julian Assange Makes An Amazing Announcement

Wikileaks founder, spokesperson, and CEO Julian Assange has revealed that he is sick and tired of the vulgar jokes about his last name Assange and so he plans to change it to Buttange.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 December 2010
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Sarah Palin Explains Why She Shot The Defenseless Caribou

When asked about shooting a defenseless caribou on her TV show, "Snow Plow" Palin said if she hadn't shot the ferocious beast it would have attacked her and probably molested her beyond words.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 December 2010
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Joan Rivers Talks About Her G-Spot

The only part of Joan River's body that has not been botoxed, lifted, enhanced, augmented, tightened, or lipo sucked is her G-spot. She explained: "The sucker got rubbed off 30 years ago."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 December 2010
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Meghan McCain Lashes Out At Her Fellow GOPer Ann Coulter

Meghan McCain remarked that her GOP rival Ann "Trigger Face" Coulter's next book should be titled, I Have Never Been To The Kentucky Derby - But I Bet My Chances Of Winning Wouldn't Be All That Bad.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 December 2010
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Mark Cuban Is Dropping His Communist-Sounding Last Name

Mark Cuban, the owner of the NBA Dallas Mavericks, has revealed that he has grown so tired of hearing the communist jokes because of his last name that he has decided to change his name to Mark Iraqi.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 December 2010
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U.S. Ambassador To India Gets A Pat Down At Indian Airport

India conveys reciprocality. "It's just the usual Embassy-level Tit for Tat," according to a political analyst.

written by Hawking's Chair, 09 December 2010
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Charlie Scene Spotted At LA Airport Touting As TSA Officer

Actor says he was there to shoot his new sitcom, "Two and A Half Test Tickles", and was not trying to 'pat' things up, or down.

written by Hawking's Chair, 09 December 2010
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WikiLeaks To Get Its Own Credit Card And Online Auction Site

MasterLeaks and Leaky-Bay to be soon available worldwide.

written by Hawking's Chair, 09 December 2010
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Kelsey Grammer

Kelsey Grammer, better known as Frasier, admits that his paternal grandmother's English isn't good. "Granma Grammer's Grammar is poor," he said.

written by IainB, 09 December 2010
Rating:

The world is totally corrupt, ask Hitler?

Nasty, wicked he was, but corrupt, maybe a little bit, 65 years on there is much more corruption and one of the one's he didn't like, Russians, are one of the worst apart from nearly everybody else!

written by Jaggedone, 09 December 2010
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Julian Asange to host cooking show

All recipes to include a "large number of leeks". The date of premiere and episode guides to be leaked via their website.

written by Lara Bruton, 09 December 2010
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Passenger Arrested for Injuring TSA Official

Spiky bra causes bruises to fondling TSA Official's hands. "Foul Foreplay," screams another passenger disgusted at the airport pat-downs.

written by Hawking's Chair, 09 December 2010
Rating:

Hard Hearted

Duke of Edinburgh unimpressed that Sarah Ferguson not named in any WikiLeaks.

written by Catherine the Average, 09 December 2010
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Blair recalled to Iraq Inquiry

Demands 160,000 pound fee and private jet.

written by Catherine the Average, 09 December 2010
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Princess Anne Tweet

Zara and I keen to take down Kate Middleton in field hockey match! Royal blood, royal MUD sez us!!!

written by Catherine the Average, 09 December 2010
Rating:

High Court Clarifies Surrogate Ruling

We said childless couples can pay surrogate mothers, not wifeless husbands.

written by Catherine the Average, 09 December 2010
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Friends, Romans, Countrymen, Lend Us Your Ears!

Well, sell us them, actually. And don't forget those elderly relatives, with their unused extremities. Help Grannie avoid gangrene by sending us her legs! we-buy-your-severed-limbs.com

written by Erskin Quint, 09 December 2010
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