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Rating:

The Truth About Black Forest Gateau

Abi Quintilla's new novella Throes provides the missing link between incest in 17th century fenland Cambridgeshire and Nick Clegg's conscience.

written by Erskin Quint, 10 December 2010
Rating:

Cam Newton Can't Spell Heisman

Cam Newton can throw a football, but he can't spell Heisman, so that might disqualify him from winning the award--if academics mattered in college sports.

written by UWGB-Beek, 10 December 2010
Rating:

Dan Rather Sick of Blogging

Dan Rather is mad as hell that he is stuck blogging and writing drivel for the blogosphere. "I was once a respected journalist, doing important work--now I am doing crap work." he said on Twitter.

written by UWGB-Beek, 10 December 2010
Rating:

M.I.T. mathmetician solves health woe

Fred Dinggle, a Mathematics Professor at MIT, treated himself for constipation yesterday. Apparently, he worked it out with a slide rule.

written by Dax L'Amour, 10 December 2010
Rating:

New Chrismas version of "Where's Wally" book published

The book reflects the current freezing temperatures, has an 'adult' theme and is entitled, "Where's Willy?"

written by ExiledRoyal, 10 December 2010
Rating:

Obama And Congress Celebrate Tax Cuts and Spending Hikes

Wearing party hats made in China, leaders toasted President Bush. Asked about the deficit, one member shouted "I'll drink to that." Representatives from future generations were unable to attend.

written by kslaught, 10 December 2010
Rating:

Eco-tivists plan to confront rioting students

"All these open fires leave a deplorable carbon footprint. Penguins and polar bears and icebergs shouldn't suffer because them!"

written by Catherine the Average, 10 December 2010
Rating:

Assange on WikiLeaks:

"I wasn't going to publish the433 3gsw='kgft'
mG"Macbeth
op0t==
'm, but then the cat stepped on the keyboard."

written by Moby, 10 December 2010
Rating:

Top Tip:

Guitarists: if you have an electric guitar, don't play it plugged in while bathing.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 10 December 2010
Rating:

Jim Morrison Pardoned

Florida - "Glad we can finally close that door!"

written by Moby, 10 December 2010
Rating:

FAA loses track of 119000 Planes

"Maybe we should pat down the other pants?"

written by Moby, 10 December 2010
Rating:

General Appearance

A medium size sighthound giving the appearance of elegance and fitness, denoting great speed, power and balance without coarseness. A true sporting hound...

Ahem. Oops. Misread this as "WHIPPETS"!

written by SpaceElevator, 10 December 2010
Rating:

Jenn Sterger's Amazing Christmas Card From Brett Favre

Jenn Sterger says that she received a Christmas card from Brett Favre that was addressed simply: To The Bitch.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 10 December 2010
Rating:

Airline Pilots Sign A Very Unique Pat Down Agreement

Airline pilots have agreed that in lieu of getting patted down by TSA agents they will instead just simply pat down each other.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 10 December 2010
Rating:

Judge Judy's Racial Remark Gets Her Reprimanded

Television's Judge Judy has been reprimanded for referring to a black defendant as an Uncle Tom. Judge Judy stated, "But the man is named Tom and I'm sure that he's some one's uncle."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 10 December 2010
Rating:

President Obama's Fantastic Plan To Generate Income

President Obama has stated that in order to generate some Federal income he will be looking into selling the Mississippi River to a group of Chinese investors.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 10 December 2010
Rating:

Miley Cyrus Has Turned 18 And Can Now Do All Kinds of Things

Miley Cyrus has stated that now that she has turned 18 and is of legal age that she can give lap dances all friggin day if she wants to.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 10 December 2010
Rating:

Attendance Meltdown

Punters don't know what to make of Madame Tussaud's following thermostat malfunction.

written by Catherine the Average, 10 December 2010
Rating:

Fun Spoilt

Cameron/Clegg 'Baby It's Cold Outside' duet at Royal Variety Performance cancelled due to student riots.

written by Catherine the Average, 10 December 2010
Rating:

Cameron invokes daylight savings time early in bid to pre-empt more student riots

Believes they won't get out of bed if it's day time.

written by Catherine the Average, 10 December 2010
Rating:

Princess Anne Tweet

Those wankers tried to roll my Rolls I'd tell 'em wat r u gawpin' at I'll fookin' bang yer owt.

written by Catherine the Average, 10 December 2010
Rating:

Student Protestors Attack Charles and Camilla's Car

Couple unharmed, but happy they didn't take the carriage tonight.

written by Catherine the Average, 10 December 2010
Rating:

Circle the Wagons

Queen to devote entire to Christmas message to telling everybody how great Kate Middleton is.

written by Catherine the Average, 10 December 2010
Rating:

Sue Me Truly

Lawyers plan lawsuits against TV viewers who turn off the incessant commercials about bad drugs, wanting on/off switches removed. The ACLU and environmentalists defend the use of on/off switches!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 December 2010
Rating:

Strange Sightings

Beings that appear in myths, legends, or as reported sightings include Nessie, Bigfoot, Yeti, Chupacabra, Washington DC's Obamable Snow-Job and Alaska's Palin Grizzly Mama.


written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 December 2010
Rating:

Free Speech Liberal Style

The Democratic far left liberal idea of the other persons "free speech/first amendment rights" is that the ober-liberals opponents have to "shut up!"

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 December 2010
Rating:

Lots of Protein

Michelle Obama's Food Nutrition bill for reducing childhood obesity includes providing Polar Bear meat, as part of school lunch programs. That's what the 187,000 sq. mile habitat is to be used for!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 December 2010
Rating:

Political Red Meat

President Obama sends VP Biden to talk to US House Democratic far left liberals about the Bush tax cut compromise. Now you know how the Christians felt when they entered the Coliseum & saw the lions!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 December 2010
Rating:

New Occupants are Coming

New US House leadership plans to appropriate $10,000 to fumigate the chamber, prior to convening in January 2011. There may still be some traces of the blue far left liberal virus hiding in corners.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 December 2010
Rating:

Come Back and Haunt Pelosi

HS Pelosi is upset over value of the estate tax part of the Bush tax cut compromise. Not only is the government in your pants & fondling you, now they're trying to take your posterity's inheritance!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 December 2010
Rating:

Crash and Burn

House speaker Pelosi advises House Democratic far left liberals to buy asbestos underwear. As they may be planning to go down in flames over the Bush tax cuts, might as well be prepared!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 December 2010
Rating:

Rabid House Democrats

Washington DC veterinarians run out of distemper shots for House Democratic far left liberals. They are still foaming at the mouth over Pres. Obama's Bush tax cut compromise with Senate Republicans!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 December 2010
Rating:

We Got Short-Changed

USA vanquishes the USSR 20 years ago in the Cold War. Pres. Obama and the Democratic far left liberal Congress ruin the USA economically in two years of useless ideologically driven over spending!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 December 2010
Rating:

Obama's Method of "Decreasing" Foreign Oil Dependence

A barrel of oil cost $33 when President Obama was inaugurated and now costs upwards of $88. President Obama then bans oil drilling in the Gulf of Mexico and protects Polar Bear habitat (oil areas)!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 December 2010
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