There were 1,354 spoof news snippets published in December 2010. A selection of the best rated snippets is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.

Order by:
Rating:

Top Tip:

Women - be aware that telepathy is, in fact, extremely rare. Don't take a chance with the man in your life - if you want something, use spoken words, don't just think at him.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 02 December 2010
Rating:

Dawns And Sunsets

There are many women named Dawn in this world... so how come no one is named Sunset??

written by Hydrogen Balloon, 24 December 2010
Rating:

Top Tip:

Men - be careful, especially when shaving, not to slice open your carotid artery. It will not end well for you.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Thought For The Day:

Ooh, look... snow!

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 02 December 2010
Rating:

Thought For The Day:

Going to Hell in a handcart? Not me! If I've gotta go, I'm going in a Maserati!

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 03 December 2010
Rating:

Top Tip:

Have another drink - it'll make you feel better.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 04 December 2010
Rating:

Thought For The Day:

Shaving. Bah!

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 05 December 2010
Rating:

Merkel Resists Eurozone Proposals

Doesn't fancy anyone and sees herself in the role of a German Elizabeth I - the Virgin Chancellor!

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 06 December 2010
Rating:

Top Tip:

Guitarists: if you have an electric guitar, don't play it plugged in while bathing.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 10 December 2010
Rating:

Top Tip:

Virgins - if you wish to maintain your status, avoid sexual congress.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 11 December 2010
Rating:

Top Tip:

When solving crosswords, remember: you can only write one letter in a box where answers cross.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 15 December 2010
Rating:

Top Tip:

Renaissance poetry lovers - if you don't understand Italian, make sure you buy a relevant translation of Dante.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 14 December 2010
Rating:

Report: 87% of Populace Unsure What to Do In Hypothetical Situations

LONDON - According to a report by Imperial Col., nearly 90% of people don't know what to do in a hypothetical situation. Also, nine in four people don't know ratios, and 5-thirds don't know fractions.

written by Inhopeless, 20 December 2010
Rating:

Thought For The Day:

Boobee-doo do do ... pom te pompom. Tramps like us... what? Oh sorry, tuned out there for a mo... where were we? Ah, yes - the significance of faster-than-light travel in the works of Jane Austen...

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 18 December 2010
Rating:

Top Tip:

Vegetarians - while it will probably cause you no harm, be aware that eating meat will mean you should no longer label yourself "vegetarian."

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 18 December 2010
Rating:

Snippet KIng Writes Snippet

A man who, only last week, was proclaimed Snippet King on the satirical news website TheSpoof.com has, this morning, written a snippet.

written by Monkey Woods, 20 December 2010
Rating:

Moodys in Sharp Irish Downgrade

"I can't see us playing Dublin or Belfast again any time soon," said lead singer and guitarist Justin Hayward.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 17 December 2010
Rating:

US Military Switches To Ham Radio.

The US Military has switched to ham radio for use in Iraq and Afghanistan. "This way, Muslims can't listen in," says President Obama.

written by anthonyrosania, 31 December 2010
Rating:

New Chain Steakhouses to Open Soon

1000 new jobs will be created next year when a chain of 50 Elvis Presley-themed steakhouses will open across the country. They will be especially for people who love meat tender.

written by IN SEINE, 07 December 2010
Rating:

The oldest trick in the book

A 72-year-old prostitute who works in a residential home in Swindon has got her name printed in the telephone directory. She claims to be the "Oldest Trick in the Book"

written by IN SEINE, 30 December 2010
Rating:

Midwives Call For "Seismic Shift"

"I, for one, am fed up to the back teeth with the way the continents look. Every year, in the atlas, everything's the same. It's time for a change," says top midwife Felicia Fontanelle.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 30 December 2010
Rating:

Terrorists Do Something Good for Once, Blow Up X-Factor

LONDON - Intellectuals rejoiced in Britain today, as Ali Ibrahim destroyed the studios of ITV's X-Factor talent show. The police are treating the attack as 'accidental', and will not preceed further.

written by Inhopeless, 11 December 2010
Rating:

Sniffer Snakes

The RCMP are using snakes in order to sniff out any explosives being smuggled into Canada. Snakes are known to have 50 times greater sense of smell than humans. These snakes will be known as Mountie Pythons.

written by IN SEINE, 28 December 2010
Rating:

John Travolta to Host "Homosexuals In Denial Who Believe In Aliens From Outer Space" Convention in 2011.

John Travolta to Host "Homosexuals In Denial Who Believe In Aliens From Outer Space" Convention in 2011. Tom Cruise will be a keynote speaker.

written by anthonyrosania, 08 December 2010
Rating:

So Farewell, Captain Beefheart.

Sorry - I only saw your obits today.

And sorry - I just never got it, although I gather I should have.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 20 December 2010
Rating:

Palin slams MapQuest as useless

"Doesn't even have a country like Scandinavia."

written by Catherine the Average, 02 December 2010
Rating:

Matchstick Mugger Urgently Sought

Milton Keynes Police want to catch a man who has robbed at least 4 people over the Christmas period. He threatens them with a lighted match and police would like to catch him before he strikes again!

written by IN SEINE, 28 December 2010
Rating:

England Lose 2018 World Cup

Sorry, that should read 'England Lose Out On 2018 World Cup', bloody predictive text...

written by Nick Hobbs, 03 December 2010
Rating:

Spoof News Competition Won by News Corporation's FOX News/Sun Tabloid

LOS ANGELES - At the 2010 Journalist Press Corps Convention, website TheSpoof.com came joint second with The Onion in catagory: Spoof News. First place won by News Corp's FOX News and the Sun tabloid.

written by Inhopeless, 06 December 2010
Rating:

92-year old woman says she's still looking for love

and her glasses.

written by Catherine the Average, 03 December 2010
Rating:

The Spoof Welcomes H&R Block Back As An Advertiser!

The Spoof Welcomes H&R Block Back As An Advertiser! In related news, The Spoof writer Anthonyrosania will be on 'vacation' until April 15th, 2011.

written by anthonyrosania, 11 December 2010
Rating:

Wikileaks Report: Sarah Palin Can See Russia And Guess Who Else From Her Front Porch?

Sarah Palin reportedly told Sean Hannity that she can see Wikileaks' Julian Assange from her front porch in Wasilla, Alaska.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 December 2010
Rating:

Bad Headline Number 73

Defendant's Speech Ends In Long Sentence

written by IN SEINE, 14 December 2010
Rating:

Future News: DFS Sale Still On (published 2056)

EARTH - DFS, furniture store, still has sale from 1990. However, DFS exposed as Gfagotn plot to overthrow United Federation of Planets. War is now started.

written by Inhopeless, 26 December 2010
Rating:

Fire Damages Belgian Beer Abbey

EIF News & Features staff in panic buying spree...

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 30 December 2010
Rating:

Princess Anne Tweet

At Camilla's age, an unexpected poke is a good thing.

written by Catherine the Average, 12 December 2010
Rating:

US Cables cite Canadian insecurity

Canada delighted to be noticed.

written by Catherine the Average, 02 December 2010
Rating:

Delta-Grinch says about 500 Christmas Day flights will be canceled as storm heads east.

Millions of kids will hear 'Grandma is still at the airport' as Delta-Grinch says about 500 Christmas Day flights will be canceled as storm heads east. "Starbucks scones for Christmas dinner."

written by anthonyrosania, 24 December 2010
Rating:

Scientists claim three times as many stars as originally believed

Reality television blamed.

written by Catherine the Average, 03 December 2010
Rating:

Snowfall will not harm UK economy

Bank of England says: "A corpse can't catch a cold, can it?"

written by Catherine the Average, 03 December 2010
Rating:

Royal Family capitalizes on snow fall

Duchess of York relocated to grace and favour igloo.

written by Catherine the Average, 03 December 2010
Rating:

Hugh Hefner Spends a Fortune on Telephone Calls...

... voting for 23-year-old playmate, Kayla, in I'm a celebrity, get me out of here!

written by IN SEINE, 02 December 2010
Rating:

Bright side to FIFA balls up

One less visit from Posh.

written by Catherine the Average, 03 December 2010
Rating:

New government plan to clear roads

Princess Anne to glare at snow.

written by Catherine the Average, 03 December 2010
Rating:

Blue Red Tops

UK tabloids saddened and frustrated by persistent Wills/Kate happiness.

written by Catherine the Average, 03 December 2010
Rating:

174 Eclipse Viewers Killed By Robert Pattison / Kristen Stewart DVD Commentary.

174 Eclipse viewers were killed by the DVD commentary by Robert Pattison and Kristen Stewart.
"We believe they died of abject boredom," said the medical examiner.

written by anthonyrosania, 03 December 2010
Rating:

The World's Most Wanted Man!

Forget Osama bin Laden... nobody has yet found him. Julian Assange is now the world's most wanted man - and that is not according to Wikileaks.

written by IN SEINE, 02 December 2010
Rating:

A New Book Comes out Today

A possible best-selling book is to be published today: it is called "The Art of Masturbation" by a Mexican author --Juan King

written by IN SEINE, 08 December 2010
Rating:

Jenn Sterger's Amazing Christmas Card From Brett Favre

Jenn Sterger says that she received a Christmas card from Brett Favre that was addressed simply: To The Bitch.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 10 December 2010
Rating:

Tiger Woods Dating Kate Gosselin

Tiger Woods is reportedly dating baby-factory and asian-fetishist Kate Gosselin. "Think of how ugly those kids would be!" say friends.

written by anthonyrosania, 05 December 2010
Rating:

West Loathian fears over seismic event unfounded

Neighbours aid Susan Boyle after fall on icy pavement.

written by Catherine the Average, 03 December 2010
Rating:

Game changer?

Prince Charles' secret delight Wills couldn't win World Cup for UK.

written by Catherine the Average, 03 December 2010
Rating:

2 for 2

Santa Claus dumps UK from itinerary after World Cup loss.

written by Catherine the Average, 03 December 2010
Rating:

International Relations Shattered by Revelations

US insults leave G20 now somewhere between G9 and G12.

written by Catherine the Average, 02 December 2010
Rating:

Gordon Brown to Deliver Channel 4's Alternative Christmas Message

Record high ratings anticipated for Queen.

written by Catherine the Average, 04 December 2010
Rating:

Princess Anne Tweet

I could've charmed us 2018. Don't send a boy to do a man's work, eh?

written by Catherine the Average, 05 December 2010
Rating:

UK's Top Ten Winter Driving Tips Delayed

due to road closures.

written by Catherine the Average, 03 December 2010
Rating:

Petty is the new diplomacy

WikiLeaks resentment so poisons international relations No. 10 won't congratulate Russia over World Cup hosting win.

written by Catherine the Average, 03 December 2010
Rating:

174 Eclipse Viewers Killed By Robert Pattison / Kristen Stewart DVD Commentary.

174 Eclipse viewers were killed by the DVD commentary by Robert Pattison and Kristen Stewart.
"We believe they died of abject boredom," said the medical examiner.

written by anthonyrosania, 03 December 2010
Rating:

Britain's Most Hated Christmas Song Is...

"I'm dreaming of a White Christmas" by Bing Crosby -- looks like his dreams have come true!

written by IN SEINE, 23 December 2010
Rating:

Say Bro, Can You Pass Me The Watermelon Please?

The Order of National Food Ingredients has just announced that contrary to widely held beliefs, watermelons do not contain any water whatsoever.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 December 2010
Rating:

Bad Headline Number 72

Dog Owner Ordered To Pay $1,000 To Bite Victim

written by IN SEINE, 13 December 2010
Rating:

Tiger Woods Is Contemplating Retiring

Tiger Woods has become so disgusted with his golf game that he is thinking about retiring. He remarked he plans on becoming a professional wrestler so he can get his self-pride and self-respect back.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 December 2010
Rating:

The Reason Italy Has Banned 'Facebook'

Italy has banned Facebook. Apparently it has something or other to do with the Witness Protection Program.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 December 2010
Rating:

"But The Name On The Menu Says Maine Lobsters"

Maine facing a lobster shortage is having to import them from North Dakota lobster farms.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 December 2010
Rating:

The World's Only Federal Prison With An Official Musical Instrument

The vuvuzela has just been named as the official musical instrument of Nairobi, Kenya's Tarzan and Jane Federal Prison.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 December 2010
Rating:

The International Food Federation's Amazing Sardine Mandate

The International Food Federation is discouraging people in Denmark, Norway, and Sweden from eating sardines that blink on and off, smell like a thermometer, and cackle like an egg-laying hen.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 December 2010
Rating:

Miley Cyrus Has Turned 18 And Can Now Do All Kinds of Things

Miley Cyrus has stated that now that she has turned 18 and is of legal age that she can give lap dances all friggin day if she wants to.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 10 December 2010
Rating:

President Obama's Fantastic Plan To Generate Income

President Obama has stated that in order to generate some Federal income he will be looking into selling the Mississippi River to a group of Chinese investors.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 10 December 2010
Rating:

The low pressure super system that stole Christmas

Snowed in, Britain forced to cancel holidays.

written by Catherine the Average, 03 December 2010
Rating:

Ultimate WikiLeaks Shock

Secret recipe for Kentucky Fried Chicken to be released soon.

written by Catherine the Average, 07 December 2010
Rating:

Palin pleads confusion as shots ricochet off neighbours' homes

"I was house huntin'! That's still legal in this country, ain't it?"

written by Catherine the Average, 04 December 2010
Rating:

Bad Headline Number 71

Gay Brothel Hires Himalayan Man

written by IN SEINE, 09 December 2010
Rating:

Bathroom Burglar Caught

The police in Huddersfield caught a burglar last night after he broke into a bathroom window, stood on a set of scales and gave himself a weigh. He was both heavy-handed and light fingered.

written by IN SEINE, 11 December 2010
Rating:

Princess Anne Tweet

Those wankers tried to roll my Rolls I'd tell 'em wat r u gawpin' at I'll fookin' bang yer owt.

written by Catherine the Average, 10 December 2010
Rating:

Attendance Meltdown

Punters don't know what to make of Madame Tussaud's following thermostat malfunction.

written by Catherine the Average, 10 December 2010
Rating:

Hosepipe Ban Forecast

The UK weather Centre in London has forecast a hosepipe ban for Christmas day. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!

written by IN SEINE, 23 December 2010
Rating:

LeAnn Rimes Absolutely Hates The Name of Her Upcoming Christmas Music TV Special

LeAnn Rimes says that she would appreciate it if ABC would change the name of her upcoming Christmas Music Special which is titled, The LeAnn Rimes' Merry 'Husband-Stealing' Christmas Special.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 December 2010
Rating:

Black Mamba Spotted Emerging from Linford's Lunchbox

A Black Mamba frightened many of the celebrities in the jungle today. It was thought that it had come from Linford Christie's lunchbox which he left behind when left the program. Nobody was hurt.

written by IN SEINE, 02 December 2010
Rating:

Thatcher abandons Cameron

"Not nearly unkind enough."

written by Catherine the Average, 04 December 2010
Rating:

Sour Note

Royal Variety organizers declined Cameron and Clegg offer to sing duet at December 10th event.

written by Catherine the Average, 04 December 2010
Rating:

Princess Anne Tweet

Just back from stables. Gave horses Sainsbury's hays-of-the-world advent calendar.

written by Catherine the Average, 04 December 2010
Rating:

The Incredible Trait Found In Female Russian Spies

Why is it that in all of the years of capturing female Russian spies, the United States has never once captured an ugly one?

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 December 2010
Rating:

Bad Headline Number 75

Baby Born With Moustache. Mother Tickled To Death.

written by IN SEINE, 28 December 2010
Rating:

Pretty Isn't Everything

Young Miliband dogged by rumours that party coup is in the offing.

written by Catherine the Average, 05 December 2010
Rating:

Cameron invokes daylight savings time early in bid to pre-empt more student riots

Believes they won't get out of bed if it's day time.

written by Catherine the Average, 10 December 2010
Rating:

Judge Judy's Racial Remark Gets Her Reprimanded

Television's Judge Judy has been reprimanded for referring to a black defendant as an Uncle Tom. Judge Judy stated, "But the man is named Tom and I'm sure that he's some one's uncle."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 10 December 2010
Rating:

WikiLeaks gets personal

Hillary Clinton beauty secrets to be revealed tomorrow.

written by Catherine the Average, 03 December 2010
Rating:

Nearly One In Five To Reach 100

Calm down... nearly 1 in 5. That's more than 4 in 5 won't. You and I know who will, don't we?

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 30 December 2010
Rating:

The Sexiest Nude Stamps In America

The United States Post Office has stated that in order to stimulate stamp sales it will be issuing stamps showing a nude Megan Fox.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 December 2010
Rating:

Susan Boyle, Alias SuBo, To Change Her Name

Susan Boyle has told the BBC that she plans on changing her last name from Boyle to the not-so-bad sounding Boil.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 December 2010
Rating:

Cat Fight Brewing?

SuBo's Pebbles rumoured to have signed recording contract.

written by Catherine the Average, 04 December 2010
Rating:

Three Damn Good Reasons Why The Tea Bag Party Membership Is Skyrocketing!

The Tea Bag Party membership has really shot up in ranks since they began allowing Ku Klux Klaners, the Taliban, and Illegal Aliens.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 December 2010
Rating:

Fun Spoilt

Cameron/Clegg 'Baby It's Cold Outside' duet at Royal Variety Performance cancelled due to student riots.

written by Catherine the Average, 10 December 2010
Rating:

Brazilian Taxi Driver Shot Outside Club

A Brazilian taxi driver was shot Christmas morning outside of a club in Sao Paolo, Brasil.
"Bad news, he was killed," says police. "Good news is he doesn't have to live in Brasil anymore."

written by anthonyrosania, 26 December 2010
Rating:

Princess Anne Tweet

V. excited to realise Susan Boyle is a dead wringer for the Crown-Princess of Ostrieflander-Abel-Berlich, one of my favourite 17th century German relations!

written by Catherine the Average, 05 December 2010
Rating:

WikiLeaks! WikiLeaks! WikiLeaks!

Climate Change, Gold Price "feel like Jan Brady"

written by Catherine the Average, 01 December 2010
Rating:

"And just what the hell were you thinking?"

Having demonstrated promise during speeches, Prince Andrew engaged to act as substitute host of Jeremy Kyle show.

written by Catherine the Average, 01 December 2010
Rating:

Airline Pilots Sign A Very Unique Pat Down Agreement

Airline pilots have agreed that in lieu of getting patted down by TSA agents they will instead just simply pat down each other.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 10 December 2010
Rating:

Attention Span Deficits Hit UK News Cycle

Fifa is the new WikiLeaks

written by Catherine the Average, 04 December 2010
« Nov 2010 December 2010 Jan 2011 »
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
 
1st
115
2nd
151
3rd
121
4th
86
5th
104
6th
87
7th
24
8th
29
9th
36
10th
34
11th
30
12th
28
13th
54
14th
18
15th
27
16th
24
17th
7
18th
16
19th
10
20th
50
21st
18
22nd
28
23rd
32
24th
28
25th
11
26th
27
27th
6
28th
36
29th
47
30th
41
31st
29
 

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