Order by:
Rating:

As Long As You Don't Fall Off!

Nutritionists say that the common turnip is one of the healthiest foods a person can eat. Truckloads coming out of Kentucky, Tennessee.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Men Not Getting Enough Sleep

Texas, New Mexico and Kentucky leads the nation in "not getting enough sleep". Number one problem? Penis too big to turn over during the night. Have to get up and come around the bed.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Rough Heatwave

Huge heatwave wallops the South, flashes through the Mid-East and punches out the Northeast and heads for Maine still kicking ass!

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

More Flooding?

Creek takes witness stand! Washes away judge and jury.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Jobs Data Hits Obama

Latest jobs data is blow to Obama election hopes, not that he had much of any.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Set By First Grade

Personality Set for Life By 1st Grade, Study Suggests. "Those that cry and blame everybody else for everything, a politician."

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Where's #4?

Kagan sworn in as fourth woman on Supreme Court, although in photograph of new group, there are only three.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Fighting Fire With Fire

Guy who hated cell phone rings finally gets one with "Barney Google" on it. Turns it up loud and calls himself on purpose.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Chicken Crosses Road

Dead dog flattened thought to have attempted to follow chicken across the road. Perhaps they cross because they hate dogs.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

So, Where Is It?

"What this nation needs is an alternative fuel" says every politician for the past fifty years.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Airport Arrest

Man caught at Chicago O'Hare Airport with explosive bestseller in hi coat pocket!

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

CIA Talk

CIA official: Don't think of it as my weapon, think of it as the opposite of it "Not being a weapon".

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

That One With Gut A Condor?

Police in Illinois say buzzards and bird watchers led them to the victim's body!

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

A Reminder From Michelle

Hollywood stars come out to do fundraiser to allow Michelle Obama to go on another Spain Vacation. look for their call.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Blackmail

Solmali pirates take over nuclear submarine. Threaten WWIII unless one trillion dollars in small bills be delivered by next weekend.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

We Shall Return

Study reveals that U.S.nuclear weapons buried under western mountains not ready for all out nuclear attack as several misfire during tests. Apologies to the Philippines.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Twelve Following Obama Everywhere

Congress that approves bill to allow for twelve aides to be killed and buried with Obama when he passes away."As long as they are all democrats", says GOP!

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Trash Pick-Up Picked Up

Calif. beaches say they may raise speed limit on trash pick-ups to 50 MPH in order to cut time costs, cover more beach area per day, but not on Gulf as vehicles hit slick, run out of control.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Too Much Into Sports

Big sports fan with Fantasy Baseball Team franchise believes that he might have a torn achilles tendon or rotator cuff again tripping over dog.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Some Players More Honest

Experts: HS football concussions merit more study. Also, many hit in the balls during pile-up on purpose, hopping to sidelines for injured foot before yelling "IT'S MY BALL!" once they reach it.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Bad Headline Number 65:

PHOTOGRAPHER SHOOTS HIMSELF WITH CAMERA

written by IN SEINE, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Flight Attendants Told to Lose Weight or Else...

A Turkish airline has grounded 28 flight attendants for being overweight. They have been given 6 months to lose weight otherwise they will be reassigned... to make chocks for the aircraft.

written by IN SEINE, 07 August 2010
Rating:

First Tin In 4 Months

Steamboat, low-flying plane and ten Hang Gliders collide in freak accident.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Back On Campaign Trail

President Obama may go on tour in August of 2010 to the states that allow medical marijuana smoking. He will be riding the "Munchymobile!"

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Big Misunderstanding

In a misunderstanding, a sex-changed Osama Bin Laden has has his ass beaten by Taliban over no veil.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Tall For A Woman

New Al-Qaeda video may show first footage of terror chief since sex change. Check latest pic of Olivia Ben Laden.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Eldrick Woods Shoots High Again

Eldrick Woods near the back of the pack and 'Tiger' disappears!

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Gate Crasher Caught

Donna Shalala Detained at Tel Aviv Airport. Claimed she was Golda Meir's granddaughter.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Their Version Of The Shoe

Boy Scouts boo Obama. Girl Scouts throw cookies at his head.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Sacrifice So We Can Play

While Obama preaches sacrifice, his family frolics in Spain. "Sorry, but that's politics!"

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

200,000 Deaths Due To Errors

Over 200,000 patients die each year due to hospitals. "But that's less that 3% say doctors.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Jobs In Mexico

Mexican drug cartel say they have a lot of jobs for drug mules to help smuggle drugs across the border. "The bigger the ass, the better."

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Miss America Pageant

Miss America Pageant drops talent competition because that was when everyone turned their channels to other things until swimsuit session came back on.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Promises Worth Weight In Shit

Democrats promise to cut huge tax bill next year to only 90% huge tax bill, if elected.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Come On Rain!

GOP hoping for lots of rain in toss-up states so there will be plenty of mud to sling.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Pickpockets Deeply Into Pockets

Pickpockets hoping for larger conventions ever between now and next Prez election. Having a great Tea Party as we speak!

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Looking To 2014

Ralph Nader promised position of Recalled Old Auto Clap-Trapper Czar in Obama Administration.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Tired Of Taliban

Terrorists agree to call themselves Holy Sacred Terrorists!

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Not So Boring

Republicans, Democrats to merge convention in 2013 to save money. Should be interesting.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Gore On The Floor

Al Gore says this is his last warning about global warming. Everybody stands up and cheers! "No more warnings!"

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Be Sure & Get A Second Opinion!

Country doctor in Mississippi can't stand to deliver bad news so he touches up your X-Rays.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Bats Imperiled

Mysterious disease imperils millions of bats in U.S. as Louisville Slugger lays off workers for first time.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

More WikiLeaks

WikiLeaks to publish more secret government files, including Obama's Kenyan Birth Certificate, AP says.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Moscow Passes LA

Fires and smog have now moved Moscow past Los Angeles on most polluted city list. Moscow says it will be better after fires extinguished. LA says they are glad they don't have fires here.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Street Performers Banned

Street performers are being banned from Las Vegas. "We don't hurt their trade any", stated one. "How would they like to live on quarters from kid's ears?"

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Got Their Owen Flavor

KFC and Taco Bell had both announced that they are using cooking oil that is free of trans fats in all their restaurants. Now they are outlawing trans farts. That's right, no transvestite farts.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Brangelina Split?

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie may be breaking up after biography of Angie comes out. If they split, they both agree that the kids would be better off being raised by chimps.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Hockey Changes

The NHL is considering banning fighting in ice hockey. Also, not supplying extra hockey in Chimp Leagues!

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

New Contraceptive

A new experimental contraceptive has been developed that not only prevents pregnancy, it prevents PMS. Could reduce murder rate by 25%.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

UN Concerned!

The U.N. Security Council expressed "concern" over Iran's continued arming with nuclear weapons and threaten to severely threaten with bad words.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

New President's Day?

After what has happened with our last four Presidents, American public may change President's Day to April First!

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

The Skunk Whisperer Announces Retirement

"Maybe now my wife will let me back into the house."

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 07 August 2010
Rating:

The Skunk Whisperer Announces Retirement

"No one would ever hire me for speaking engagements."

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Betty Is The Richest!

Betty Cockerill of Plains, Georgia turns out to be the wealthiest woman in America. Wants to know how the IRS got into her mattress.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Time Square Roving Blackouts

Time Square to save energy at night with giant rotating signs. "This actually brings out our product, place better", say advertisers.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Are We Dense Or What?

Amazing new penis-enhancement product turns out to be spam after all!

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Gore The Ecologist!

Al Gore Caught throwing condom wrappers out the window of vehicle while doll sitting in his lap.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Gores & Dolls

Al Gore Caught With real-like dolls by reporters at store. "OK, so I got some dolls. At least they'll be more responsive than Tipper!"

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Al Gore Buys Harem

Al Gore steps in it again. Caught purchasing nine "True-Like Dolls" he tells reporters, "I've given them all names of old girlfriends Tipper hated, except the one that sits & watches. She's Tipper."

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

High Court Ruling Suspicious!

High Court to decide if marijuana smoking just as dangerous to drivers as being..you know...out there..driving things.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

US Too Big To Fail!

New study shows that America too big to fail. "Every food exporter in the world would go busted, then they couldn't buy from others."

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Test Firing Succeeds!

The first firing of a nuclear weapon by private citizen leads Billionaire to pay for small uninhabited island.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Then We'll Vote Again!

Judge Judy may become the judge to decide if same sex marriages are legal!

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

RAF In WW1 Status

Budget cuts will leave the RAF with fewer aircraft than any time since World War One. "Thank You" for info say enemies.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Just Doing Dance

I was only doing traditional Turkish dance, claims husband arrested for assaulting his wife, the Happy Slappy!

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

"Hey Baltimore - Play Ball!"

Many people truly believe that Baltimore was named after Lord Baltimore. The city was actually named after the baseball team The Baltimore Orioles.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 August 2010
Rating:

The Q-Tip Has Just Barely Scratched The Surface of The Ear Drum

The Q-Tip was invented in Quebec, Canada. It was first known by the name 'that little itty bitty stick with two little itty bitty pieces of cotton on each end.'

written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 August 2010
Rating:

You Would Think That The Grand Lady Would Have Been A Little More Modest Huh?

In the no one, but no one knows this department. The Statue of Liberty is not wearing any underwear.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 August 2010
Rating:

The City That Is Now Know As Buffalo Had A Horribly Stupid Name Before

The city of Buffalo was originally named Anteater, but it was changed because Buffalo sounds one hundred times better than Anteater!

written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Billy "The Umpire Hating" New York Yankees Manager Has Left The Stadium

New York City's Empire State Building was originally known as The Umpire State Building. But due to complaints from Yankees manager Billy Martin, who hated umpires, the name was changed.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 August 2010
Rating:

If Memory Serves Me Right - The Answer Is William Penn

William Penn who invented oat meal also invented the nation's first memory stick, but no one seems to remember.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 August 2010
Rating:

New Hampshire Wants To Take Arizona's Tourists

The state of New Hampshire plans on changing to a new tourist friendly slogan: Come To New Hampshire, It's A Whole Lot More Quieter and Peaceful Than Arizona For Effen Sakes.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 August 2010
Rating:

New Bieber Movie

New biographical movie of Justin Bieber coming up, "Banana Montana"!

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Hold Off Awhile

Latest economics report that you don't have to jump out of the high rise window for now but don't let anyone put bars over it.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

New movie box office smash 'Encryption'

Steve Carel plays engraver who puts secret messages on Bowling Trophies.

written by C. Cranium, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Welfare Recepients Mock Workers!

Britain's benefits bonanza: How 100,000 households rake in more than average wage in welfare every year! So why work?

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Can't Concentrate With All Those Women Out There!

Tiger Woods tied for 72nd place in current golf tournament. Wife must have whacked him good.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Watch What You Say

Connecticut police say they arrested a man at a management company after he mentioned the shooting rampage across the state that killed nine people. "President O doesn't allow that kind of talk."

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Welcome To Recovery

Welcome to the economic recovery: 149,000 more jobs lost!

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

The Man In Red

Women find men in red more appealing? Somewhat drawn to Santa Claus, dead popes.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Frenchman Survives Fall!

French man survives 75-foot fall at Grand Canyon. Doctors say the only major change is that he's now two & a half feet tall!

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Good Actor!

Barack Obama gets Hollywood sidewalk star for acting like a President.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Snooki Gets Roommate

'Jersey Shore' introduces new cast member, a roommate for Snooki, called "Pokey".

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Scales Thrown Out

Are Americans now more honest about their weight? Most say no, we never weigh ourselves anymore.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Responders To Gulf Spill

Responders to Gulf oil spill wrap up refining week. Sorry, that should be "defining" week.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Tragedy In The Smokey Mountains

Stranded Hikers choose cannibalism over potted meat with imitation beaks and talons.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

A Beautiful Celebration

Schwarzenegger: Let the gay marriages begin! Handsome Couple Celebrates Beautiful, Committed Relationship with flowers, huge cake, balloon-drop and Crap-Covered Penises.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Gay Marriages #2

California Governor says :Let the gay marriages begin! Priests Consider Implications of Latest Ruling.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Gay Marriages Legal?

Schwarzenegger: Let the gay marriages begin! Many gays celebrate in the traditional way.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Let The Gays Begin!

Schwarzenegger: Let the gay marriages begin: Some Butts Suffer as Newbies Celebrate Ruling.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Candidates Flee Links To Washington

Washington ties dash hopes for political promotion. "Barack Osama? Never heard of him!"

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Cereal Killer Still On The Loose

Michigan police search for suspected cereal killer, especially around the Battle Creek area.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Gropers In The Mist

Smog over Moscow worsens as wildfires rage as gropers in the mist have a field day.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Tanker Released By Pirates

Somali pirates leave hijacked oil tanker after 1 day after siphoning off all the oil.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Not The Leaking Oil Well

Many in congress say that making same sex marriages legal will not help stop up WikiLeak!

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Same-Sex Weddings!

Schwarzenegger: Let same-sex weddings resume now. Louisiana gets the work and shotgun weddings begin in the woods.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Got A Sweet Deal On Corvete Fleet

AP Sources: Volunteers coaches interviewed by NCAA. Asked about football recruits driving Corvettes.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Calif. Guv Ready For Same Sex Marriages

Schwarzenegger: Let same-sex weddings resume now. Ky-Jelly to build ten new factories in California.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

We Need Every Nation To Have Nuclear Capability

US-Vietnam nuke deal will likely allow enrichment. Next in line, Cambodia. "Always trusted those Cambodian leaders".

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Castro To Attend Session

Fidel Castro to attend session of Cuba parliament. They will be invited over to the Castro mansion.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Another Prize For O

US-Vietnam nuke deal will likely allow enrichment. Nuclear Vietnam? Obama surely headed for a second Nobel Peace Prize.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

They "Promise" Not To Enrich!

US-Vietnam nuke deal will likely allow enrichment, as Barack Obama continues on his quest to wipe out America!

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

What Can Guv Do For You?

Plugging the WikiLeak: What can the government do? About the same thing they did with oil leak. Diddly squat!

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Politician Walking Both Sides Of The Road

Schwarzenegger: Let same-sex weddings resume now. We can annul them later.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Personality Created In 1st Grade

Personality Set for Life By 1st Grade, Study Suggests. Genius headed for Spoof Writing, math cheaters for politics.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Study Could Be Right

Personality Set for Life By 1st Grade, Study Suggests. Those who's mothers drove them to school each day, still at home 45 years later.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Set In First Grade

Personality Set for Life By 1st Grade, Study Suggests. Study compiled by those who studied things in the 1st grade.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

South Rising Again #2

10 years on, mystery of recovered Confederate sub remains. Tea Party member says that it is symbolic of what's about to happen once again. "Just took us 150 years to reload."

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

South Is Rising Again

10 years on, mystery of recovered Confederate sub remains. Many in South believe that lifting vessel was start of the SOUTH RISING AGAIN!

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Confederate Sub

10 years on, mystery of recovered Confederate sub remains. Many though, suspect North Korean Torpedo.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Sorry, You're Fired!

Disgraced Hewitt Packard CEO to get only $28 million to leave.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Extreme Green -- wear shirt for seven days

Extreme Green Movement says: If you have 7 shirts and rotate them everyday you can go 7 weeks before laundry -- saving the environment and resources. Remember spaghetti stains are a badge of honor.

written by C. Cranium, 07 August 2010
Rating:

General Motors goes to two processors

Just like Intel's dual processor GM plans on new RV with a V8 per axle. Mileage predictions are 12 MPG per V8, but since there are two V8s the mileages is advertised as 24 MPG.

written by C. Cranium, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Bolt loses to Gay

Usain Bolt lost to Tyson Gay today. Pizza Hut & Heresy's large sponsors of Bolt claimed their products did not affect loss. Pizza Hut however will no longer provide Bolt w/ Pizza anytime anywhere.

written by C. Cranium, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Americans Asked Who They'd Like as Next American Idol Judge

A large majority overwhelmingly picked Krusty the Clown not realizing he was nothing more than a cartoon character.

written by Charpa93, 07 August 2010
Rating:

2010 a Year that will live in Infamy

Congress & President Obama trash the Constitution with health care reform, $870 billion stimulus, Wall St. Reform, illegal immigration law suits, cap and tax (hope not) & other dubious federal bills!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Not Enough to Do in Congress

Congress may ban MLB players from using chewing tobacco. Not to worry most of these Democratic liberal loons will be put out to pasture in November 2010, where they can chew their cud!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 August 2010
Rating:

More Foolishness in Congress

Congressional Democratic liberal loons will take up the thorny issue of MLB players scratching their crotches & patting each other on their butts. That is, after resolving the chewing tobacco crisis!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 August 2010
Rating:

A Compromise on the Great Issues of 2010

A Congressman emulating Daniel Webster said "we must forge a compromise in Congress amongst those who would ban MLB players from chewing tobacco and allowing others the freedom to spit on the field!"

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 August 2010
Rating:

CDC Declares Foot-in-Mouth Disease Epidemic

First it was VP Biden, then former Governor Palin and now Senator Al Franken has contracted the dreaded Foot-in-Mouth Disease. During the summer break both chambers of Congress will be fumigated!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Laboratory Rats Saved

Pres Obama & animal rights groups agree to allow federal employees to participate in some FDA food testing. Laboratory rats are cheaper, but there are things they just won't eat that bureaucrats will!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Message to Congress about Government Handling of BP Oil Spill

Residents of the Gulf States handed out box lunches of clams, crabs, shrimp, oysters and crayfish to departing members of Congress as they left for their summer break. The boxes were labeled "EAT ME!"

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 August 2010
Rating:

How do you say Spin in Japanese

Toyota automobiles have brake and steering problems. Toyota denies having problems. Toyota advertises about really worrying about your safety! Why didn't Toyota just fix the car problems?

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Call Joe the Plumber

House Speaker Pelosi was supposed to drain the swamp. The next Republican Speaker of the House has to fix the septic system and unclog the sanitary plumbing!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 August 2010
Rating:

Jobs Report

USA unemployment figures continue to rise. There are many American citizens thinking that if this were the year 2012, the current occupant of the White House would be unemployed!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 August 2010
« Jul 2010 August 2010 Sep 2010 »
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
 
1st
92
2nd
63
3rd
111
4th
105
5th
106
6th
125
7th
125
8th
73
9th
84
10th
105
11th
139
12th
92
13th
99
14th
123
15th
95
16th
79
17th
122
18th
90
19th
115
20th
83
21st
93
22nd
119
23rd
106
24th
90
25th
96
26th
100
27th
99
28th
114
29th
81
30th
90
31st
107
 

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 multiplied by 2?

2 12 4 8


Go to top