Order by:
Rating:

Here We Go Again!

Jury questioning begins in Anna Nicole Smith case as two different men step forth and say that "I am Ms. Smith's Attorney".

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Ty-D-Bol Man Dead

NJ actor who portrayed Ty-D-Bol man and wrote the book "This Is One Shitty Job", dies at 79.

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Persecution Rising!

Signs of Kuzebeki Persecution Rising in Islamkinyshistan! Actually, I just made those up.

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

100th Birthday At Work

NYC woman celebrates 100th birthday at work. "Everyone at home died years ago", jokes happy employee. "Besides, I forgot how to get back there."

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Rats! RATS!!

FBI say that emails from Nigeria offering jobs of sponging women off after their showers and paying $75,000 per year is a scam.

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Obama Takes Credit, Lots Of Credit

Obama takes credit for ending U.S. combat mission in Iraq, New Orleans winning Super Bowl, Inventing the internet (Uh-Oh).

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

It's All Cantonese To Me

Chinese Protesters Assert Right to Speak Cantonese. We call you bad names and you not know it! More peaceful that way.

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Rockets Hit Israel, Jordan

Rockets hit Israel and Jordan resorts. "Why doesn't the UN investigate these. They are civilian areas."

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Hopr It Doesn't Spit It Out

BP hedges on role of relief well in Gulf oil leak. Will top off stuffing with big tobacco chaws from baseball ballparks Sunday.

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Indian Summer Begins

Creek murder trial to begin Tuesday. Shawnee says he didn't do it!

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Mitch Miller Dead At Last! How About Abe Vigoda?

Conductor Mitch Miller dies at age 99. Family says that if only he could have lived to be a hundred. "You seldom see people 100 or more years old listed in obituaries.

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Causes Brain To Rot!

Cold cuts could cause cancer, study suggests, especially hog brains souse!

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

New Report On Drunks

Report: Is America A Nation of drunkards? Of coarse snot!

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Mixed Flavor

United States says it's committed to cutting green house gases, "Youth farts are the worst kind".

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Va. Sues Health Care Bill

Va. health care reform lawsuit clears 1st hurdle. One through and 49 coming up!

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Warning Rights Changed

High court trims Miranda warning rights bit by bit. Police want to know just how high this court is.

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Batman #1 Discovered

Comic book buff selling rare copy of Batman No. 1. Only $3,000. Hide away for 70 years in Nigeria. Autographed by Bruce Wayne himself.

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Kid's SS Numbers Being Stolen

AP IMPACT: New ID theft targets kids' SS numbers. Family of 4-year-old suspicious after "Hooker Hotline" appears.

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Royal Wedding

Chelsea Clinton marries in 'royal wedding'. Quickly discovers new hubby a royal pain in the ass!

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Fox Gets Front Row

Fox News gets front-row White House seat. However, one reporter discovers electric running to the wall socket.

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Cold Cuts Dangerous

Cold cuts could cause cancer cording coo cudy. Sorry, got carried away talking to grandkids this morning. Cold cuts might cause: study

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Would Be Embarrassing

Comic book buff selling rare copy of Batman No. 1, although Batman first appeared in Detective Comics #27, but don't ruin this for him.

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

A Definite Date

President Obama: US to leave Afghanistan 'as promised, on schedule''as soon as we can figure when'.

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Fox Up Front

Fox gets front-row seat in White House press room, according to News Hounds.

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Suite Judy Blue Eyes

Judy Collins joins Jimmy Buffet in Gulf hoped-for reopening. Sings, "Bring In The Clams!"

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

China's Islands Threatened

Garbage islands threaten China's Three Gorgeous dams. That should be "Three Gorge" dam.

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Well Plugging Going Well!

BP Gulf crews prepare to start plugging well for good. "Else this administration is going to plug us!", says spokesman.

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

We're Crap Either Way

GOP eyes denying funds for new health-care reform law. Obama says he may go borrow more from China. GOP will borrow from Saudis to fight money borrowed from China.

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Maybe All Three

Obama: US commitment in Iraq is shitting...shitful..shifting!

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Brazil Somewhat Like The Movie

Brazilian men swapped at birth work, live together. "Here in Brazil we have a big flea market and baby swap every Friday."

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Two Baby's Swapped At Birth

Brazilian men swapped at birth work, live together now. "My real mother liked his red hair and his real mother liked black hair, so they swapped."

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Swapped At Birth

Brazilian men swapped at birth work, live together, do life together in a Brazilian ways.

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Court Trims Miranda Rights Bit By Bit

High court trims Miranda warning rights bit by bit. "You have the right not to be bit."

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Miranda Rights Changing A Lot

High court trims Miranda warning rights bit by bit. "I'm the good cop, he's the bad cop and over there is Officer Miranda."

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Miranda Rights Changing

High court trims Miranda warning rights bit by bit. "We will take you downtown and let you see Miranda."

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Miranda Rights Trimmed

High court trims Miranda warning rights bit by bit. "You have been arrested."

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Stem Cell Research

Adult stem cell research far ahead of embryonic. Most likely because of adults being around longer.

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Susan Boyle: A Lesson in Frugality

Susan Boyle, allowed only £500 per week from her multi-million pound fortune, still manages to save £450 per week.

written by Stevey G., 02 August 2010
Rating:

New For Flat Screen TVs

1962 glass could be Corning's next bonanza seller as glass almost unbreakable. May be issued with warning, "Do not use in heated arguments a this is a deadly weapon."

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

378-Year-Old Farm For Sale

After 378 years, NH family farm goes up for sale. "When people need food more than gas, we might begin another somewhere else."

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Plugging Well For Good

Gulf crews prepare to start plugging well for good. "Now if we can only plug the mouths of the news people."

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Slight Shift

Obama: US commitment in Iraq is slightly shifting.....to leaving altogether!

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Missile misses Eilat & hits Jordan!

Alex Reid this morning denied all knowledge of a missile strike on his estranged wife Jordan. 12 people were killed and more would have died had the missile not exploded between her bum cheeks!

written by Lightning Conductor, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Gordon Brown's Bank Accounts to be Investigated

The Fraud Squad said: "We have received tips that GB was on the fiddle, we'll check his bank/investment accounts to look for any fraud"

We anticipate the investigation will take about 5 years.

written by Inchcock, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Members of Parliament to star in new film!

Several members have been offered a part in the new film 'Honest Men', being made at 'Unemployed Studio's', Nottingham. Commenter's say this film will not be believable, a total fantasy.

written by Inchcock, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Britain to produce the new 'Die Hard' film

It is to be titled 'Pass Away with Difficulty'. It will star the retired Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, acting as an honest man.

written by Inchcock, 02 August 2010
Rating:

New European Remake of '3 Coins in the Fountain'

Albert Entwistle studios, are to produce a new version of the famous film '3 Coins in the Fountain' - it will be titled '02 Euro's in the Fountain'

written by Inchcock, 02 August 2010
Rating:

More Signs on Rome's Coliseum Walls

Three newly installed Coliseum electronic billboards advertise "Brutus Fine Knives and Cutlery" and "Play Roman Games on Your IPod" and finally "Mama Toni's Sushi is Homemade."


written by Philbert of Macadamia, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Increased Air Safety

TSA bans feminine hygiene products from being brought on to airplanes due to the underwear bomber. Airline financial analysts notice a monthly decline in women flying!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Democratic Party 2010 Election Strategy

Congressional Democratic far left liberals up for reelection have a new strategy. They argue that their work is only half done, as they need to be reelected to completely "F**k-Up" the USA!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Washington DC Newspaper Correction

A noted Washington DC newspaper printed that Senator Clagghorn was having an affair with a Mrs. Rosebud. Today the newspaper printed a correction stating it was Mrs. Rosebud's daughter.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Economic Indicator

A little known "lagging economic indicator" tells the Obama administration the current recession may be ending. The number of prostitutes has increased, meaning more stimulus money is in circulation.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Blocking BlackBerry

The United Arab Emirates and Saudi Arabia plan to block BlackBerry Web browsing services. Apparently the move is to eliminate foreign made PORN, in order to stimulate their internal PORN industries!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Campaign Fund Raising

Republicans claim Senate Majority Leader Reid's last Democratic campaign fundraising appearance in Nevada took advantage of the movie entitled "Dinner for Schmucks." FEC to investigate!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Did Fine Lat Time,Till He Busted His Ass

"Good Morning America" will feature David Blaine once again next week, when he will attempt once again to walk across the oil slick.

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Marriage License For 13 Yr. Old

Florida family tries to get marriage license for 13-year-old. Police checking current residence of Roman Polanski.

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Texas Distancing Themselves

Texas Democrats distance themselves from president. "Obama? Obama? Oh, you mean that Kenyan?"

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Lied To Us Again

1,200 National Guard troops expected Sunday on the southwest border won't deploy until late Sept., officials say, stirring up more anger among Arizona lawmakers who thought the deadline was Aug. 1.

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Dutch Pull Out

Dutch become 1st NATO member to quit Afghanistan. "We'll miss those wooden shoes they were throwing", say NATO Commander.

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

No Soup For You!

Obama Health Care Program will control amount of calories you have each day, if you're under Government care.

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Bear Balls?

Palin: Obama lacks 'cojones' to tackle immigration. "Check these out, Baby!"

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

"Proud To Be An American!"

Lee Greenwood now has three patriotic songs saved up for the next three wars!

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
Rating:

Ho-Boy!

Sighing woman at next table at restaurant keeps sighing louder every time her husband pours ketchup all over plate.

written by Bureau, 02 August 2010
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105
11th
139
12th
92
13th
99
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123
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79
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122
18th
90
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