Order by:
Rating:

Cheese fumes kill Belgians

Brussels lorry driver Franck Clocktower ploughs into bus stop killing 347 Belgians after being overwhelmed by the fumes of his cargo of cheese.

written by breezeblock, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Pickles donates neck fat to African tribe

Eric Pickles, who recently underwent cosmetic liposuction to remove loose neck fat, was so moved by a documentary of the Etonia tribe in Mali that he decided to gift them his surgical off-cuts.

written by breezeblock, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Just Like The Bear!

Actor David Hasselhoff freed from having a plastic jar stuck over his head.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Mel Still Not Well

Mel Gibson, involved in single car crash in Malibu, calls the 'other driver' a 'black Jew'.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Bob, Stick With Music! Write Chronicles II

Dylan to unveil new paintings in Denmark. Get your money and your refrigerator ready.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

KilPatrick Dies At 89

Columnist, wordsmith James Kilpatrick dies at 89! Well, hecky dern!

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

All Others, OK!

French to Fine Shirtless Tourists, if they are male!

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Barack Mohammed Obama?

OBAMA FLASHBACK: Arabic call to prayer 'one of the prettiest sounds on Earth at sunset'. How about the sound of two towers falling?

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

City Under Seige

CITY under SIEGE: 1 in 10 NewYorkers with BEDBUGS! "If anyone starts that 'Night, night, sleep tight..' I'll wring his beep neck!", says one who's apartment is infested.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Iran Plans Third Nuclear Plant

Iran plans third enrichment plant, after Israel blows up the first two.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Major Dog Show

Lady who's show poodle suddenly tears the seat out of her dress at Dog Event given the blue ribbon for "Best In Show".

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Gay Mirages

Those against the gay marriages this week prefer to call them "Gay Mirages".

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Can't Recall Much

Man on plane that landed safely on herd of sheep says that it's all still a little woolly to him.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Pilot Appears Sheepish In Interview

Another miracle as pilot safely lands his damaged plane in a herd of sheep. Only three passengers injured from rocks thrown by sheepherder.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Obama Takes Time Off

President Obama to take some time off vacationing and fundraising in a few weeks to do some 'Presidenting'.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Neanderthals Ate Finger Sandwiches

Scientists now say that Neanderthal's ate first sandwiches. Placed meat between two slices of meat, sometimes ate hand by mistake.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Recession #3?

Economists now fear triple-dip recession after realizing we're already in #2 up to our ass.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Tripper: Complete Accident

Justice Scalia unhurt after he tripped over Obama supporter outside restaurant in "Chicago" type politics.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Mosque Again

White House: politics no role in mosque remarks. Survivors: "That's what you think!"

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Evil Knievil plans to jumb across Angelina Jolie's Vagina.

Friends and family beg the stunt junky not to do it. Evil's best friend says. So many people have lost their career's, and lives attempting this feat, that nothing good can come out of this.

written by High Higgler, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Knew He Had One

Kid touring White House finds book, "Presidents Shit List" on floor but grabbed immediately by guards.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Double-Dip Recession

I'm not confident there won't be a double-dip recession, says outgoing Treasury watchdog chief Alan Budd. "Double-dipping could also lead to many diseases & their spreading."

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Monty Python Episode?

Police told not to pursue stolen motorbikes... because thieves weren't wearing helmets and might get hurt. Comedy of 1970's turn into reality in 2010.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Don't Raise Our Liquids!

Food prices soar by up to 58% in just three years. "Just as long as drinks are stable", say many.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Fake Homeless Being Paid

It beggars belief: How the fake homeless are raking in more than £20,000 a year, as they sneak back into homes at night.


written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Taxpayers Helping Prostitutes

Councils pay for disabled to visit prostitutes and lap-dancing clubs from £520m taxpayer fund. Man cuts off own foot to get in.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Standoff

Woman in suicide stand-off with police at Bitchy Head after Ferrari-driving husband is found bludgeoned to death. Sorry, that should be "Beachy Head"

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Bring Your Own!

Back to School? Bring Your Own Toilet Paper! Schools cutting budgets, farts.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Too Busy Right Now!

Jobless millions signal death of American dream for many. "I'll address that right after vacation and 30-day fundraising dinners", says President.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

House To Cut Food Stamps

House to cut food stamps to fund Mrs. Obama's 'let's move' initiative. "Tell her we are moving somewhere with food", states former supporter.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Next, Our 21st!

Iran official announces building of 20th new nuke site. Receives severe warning from the UN.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Obama's Still Vacationing

A boat ride and ice cream cap Obama's trip to Gulf. Former BP CEO asks him to visit yacht any time, "Since you're doing little else."

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Cameron Celebrates Birthday

James Cameron to celebrate his birthday underwater or at least, under the influence of liquids.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Teen Sex Performance Studied

Teen sex not always bad for school performance, although inexperience causing many to get a bad grade in Sex Education.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

WikiLeaks Threaten Pentagon?

WikiLeaks says it won't be threatened by Pentagon. That was four days ago. No word since.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

You Can Trust Us

Advanced military satellite launches into orbit. Military promises not to peek over Iran.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Can't Beer Conference Forever!

AP-GfK polls show Obama losing independents, democrats out of work.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Obama Raising Funds Again

Obama launching 30 days of fundraising travel. Most telling him to go back to Washington and be a President for awhile! We need jobs.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Longer Sentences Requested

Longer sentence sought for Khmer Rouge convict as judge asked to add on another 100 years.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Pssst Diamond Discount!

World diamond trading group bans Zimbabwe stones as Zimbabwe heads for eBay sales.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

What Are The Kids Doing Today, Ms Burk?

Teen sex not always bad for school performance, unless parents drop in for a visit.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

People Donating Sperm For Many Offspring!

Sperm-donor offspring seek rights and respect as he discovers that his daddy was Bernie Madoff.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Bad Time For Shrimpers

La. shrimpers worry about prices for new season, oil wells suddenly exploding underneath their boats.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Japan Knocked Out Of #2

China overtakes Japan in 2Q as No. 2 economy. Japanese workers told, "To get back to #2, you will have to shit and get it!"

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Works Both Ways

Smile! Aerial images being used to enforce laws. At 7 AM this morning, 50% of all city cops were in doughnut shops.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Before You Step In It

Smile! Aerial images being used to enforce laws. Henry Gibson family notified that guy two houses down is allowing his dog to shit in your yard again.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

TV Is Blaise!

Broadcast audience aging faster than population. Most younger people on their phones, computers.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Obama Now Fundraising

Obama launching 3 days of fundraising travels, then two more vacations, more fundraisers as Biden runs the country.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Dirty Campaign

Insults abound in 2010 campaigns by candidates and their mothers!

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

2010 Campaigns Nasty

Insults abound in 2010 campaigns, as bunch of assholes cut loose!

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Japan Doing Number 2!

China overtakes Japan in 2Q as No. 2 economy. Honking 10,000,000 horns for US to move aside.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Hooked On It For Their Cars!

La. shrimpers worry about prices for new season, unless the public like the taste of a tad of oil.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Even Hot In Maine

Smile! Aerial images being used to enforce laws. Mrs Johnson of Portsmouth, Maine needs to know that neighbor hiding watches her sun bath.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Teen Sex At School

Teen sex not always bad for school performance, if done between classes or in study hall.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Sort Of Distracting

Study: Teen sex not always bad for school performance, unless it's during tests.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

If They Build It, Will It Stand?

Hamas leader: Ground zero mosque must be built. Hezbollah, al-Qaids, Taliban, Obama agree.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Pod May Open Soon

Thousands flock to see asteroid pod in Japan, anticipating whom pod will look like. Will it be Hirohito?

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Pods In Japan

Thousands flock to see asteroid pod in Japan, anticipating whom pod will look like.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Michelle Informed

Smile! Aerial images being used to enforce laws. President spotted smoking half a pack of cigarettes outside near Rose Garden.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Those Cats Were Rocking

Smile! Aerial images being used to enforce laws. Latest night photos show that we need to expect a lot of kittens soon.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

No Walls Overhead

Smile! Aerial images being used to enforce laws. Nudist colonies complaining.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Smile!

Smile! Aerial images being used to enforce laws. This could be your mug shot.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Lockerbie Families Join 911 Mosque Protesters

Lockerbie families raise new questions over bomber. He should have been dead and rotting by now. So we were told.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Ground Zero Mosque

Hamas leader: Ground zero mosque must be built. "If you built it, we will come."

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Hamas Joins Obama

Hamas leader: Ground zero mosque must be built. Listen to your President.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Progress In Afghanistan

Petraeus: Time is key for progress in Afghanistan. Film rerun from this time last year.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

The One With 13

Old lady escorted by social workers from London apartment. "Okay, I admit it: More than sixteen cats may be a bit excessive. What if I give one to my neighbor downstairs? She'll never know it."

written by Bureau, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Nation Experiences Extreme Water Shortage

Polluted water runoff prevention schemes that rabid environmentalists got states to make mandatory causing extreme water shortages. States advise people to use beer & wine for drinking & showering!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 16 August 2010
Rating:

He had a Dream

OBAMA: Mr. President, per your orders, we just took out all of Iran's A bomb making capabilities. Obama elected by a landslide in 2012. MICHELLE: Wake up Barack you're having those dreams again!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Scotch on the Rocks

A bag of ice was found next to the crate of Mackinlay's Scotch whisky buried in the Antarctic ice for a century. Gee whiz, ice machines and ATMs are found everywhere!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Political Heredity

Democratic liberal left wing loons are descended from 1960's hippies. When something feels or sounds good, they force the item on everybody else regardless if it passes US Constitutional muster.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Get the Wax Out of Your Ears

When Congress returns from their vacation they are all scheduled to have hearing tests. Their constituents told them to listen or they will have to find new jobs after the November elections!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Powerball to the People

President Obama wins a Powerball jackpot of $500 million, plans to keep all of it. DOJ sues as the president is government employee, Congress wants to spend it and the IRS wants to tax it!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 16 August 2010
Rating:

NBC TV Introduces its New Fall Lineup

Looking for a winner NBC debuts "Celebrity Nude Mud Wrestling" to compete with those cable TV wrestling programs. The first show will feature Rosie O'Donnell verses Ann Coulter (negotiations pending)!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 16 August 2010
Rating:

CBS to Remake the Beverly Hillbillies TV Series

The Beverly Hillbillies starring Mel Gibson (Jed Clampett); Lindsay Lowhan (Elly May Clampett); Paris Hilton (Jane Hathaway) & Britney Spears (Granny) debuts in the fall! Other roles remain open.


written by Philbert of Macadamia, 16 August 2010
Rating:

ABC TV Reorganizes Programming

The two ABC TV series Young Cops and Grey's Anatomy are to be combined, allowing the responding police officers to perform surgery right at the crime scene as needed!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Dumb and Dumber

If the Bush administration was economically dumb then the current Obama administration is extremely economically dumber, excuse me for not being PC, extremely fiscally challenged.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 16 August 2010
Rating:

President Obama to Be Interviewed On Fox News Channel

Fox News Channel executives were seen buying out shoe stores in NYC in accordance with Noshing Mink's spoof story "People of New York to throw shoes at Obama over Ground Zero mosque decision!"

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 16 August 2010
Rating:

Neigh Saying

Obama administration's dismal economic track record has the US economy possibly sliding into a double-dip recession with high unemployment. If this administration were a horse it would be dog food!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 16 August 2010
« Jul 2010 August 2010 Sep 2010 »
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
 
1st
92
2nd
63
3rd
111
4th
105
5th
106
6th
125
7th
125
8th
73
9th
84
10th
105
11th
139
12th
92
13th
99
14th
123
15th
95
16th
79
17th
122
18th
90
19th
115
20th
83
21st
93
22nd
119
23rd
106
24th
90
25th
96
26th
100
27th
99
28th
114
29th
81
30th
90
31st
107
 

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