Vote For Change
If the Tories get in, it'll be what you're begging for.
Unknown OAP attempts to invade the pitch at Old Trafford!
An OAP attempted to invade the pitch at Man U and security didn't realise it was actually Sir Alex, a feeble shadow of his iconic former self after having his bum truly slapped by Bayern!
Timothy Geithner = Time the horny git
US Treasury Secretary the real prince of darkness!
Timothy Geithner = Night Time Theory
A rather plump girl served me my order in McDonalds at lunch time, she said, "Sorry about the wait."
I said "Don't worry, you'll lose it eventually."
Works for me
Years ago it was suggested, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away."
But since most doctors are now Muslim, I've found a bacon sandwich works just as well.
Fuzzy Thinking Clusters Discovered
Cities around the USA have high incidence clusters of Democratic left liberal fuzzy thinking. A just translated 14,000 year old alien document indicates these areas were used for marijuana farming.
A male with a small penis need not be ashamed any more. The new politically correct descriptive term is "having a nanotube!"
Two More Glaciers go Missing
Glacier National Park has lost two more of its moving ice fields. The FBI raided former VP Al Gore's house and found the missing glaciers in the basement, both of which will be returned!
Islamist-Fascist Terrorists to be Renamed
A high placed Obama White House source indicated that several names have been proposed, but a final decision has not yet been made. The two leading contenders are Mother-F*****s and S**t-Heads!
West Virginia Payback
EPA (sic, rabid environmentalists) to protect streams in WV mountain top coal mining areas (sic eliminate coal mining). Gee, didn't WV vote for Republican presidential candidate John McCain in 2008?
GOP may Blow 2010 Elections
Pundits say the GOP may blow the 2010 mid-term elections! Republicans will shoot themselves in the foot by forgetting that the cardinal rule of politics is "gaining more elected seats than Democrats!"
Windmills Coming to San Francisco CA
House Speaker Pelosi said SF will get 4500 electric generating windmills. Unfortunately all the Democratic loony left liberal politicians and their minions have to move, taking the wind source away!
Experienced Alchemists Wanted
It has been said "the Obama administration cannot print more gold!" Then why has the US Treasury Department ordered 200 tons of lead and hired 25 alchemists?
Advice From the US Treasury Department
Be advised the Obama administration is spending money faster than we can print it! Citizens are urged to buy two cars, a big house and max out their credit cards before the economic collapse occurs.
San Francisco CA to Recycle Animal Waste
San Francisco has banned plastic bags, such that pet owners must now store their animal's waste products for the one day per week pickup. The city recommends refrigerating the collected poop!
No Fly List
Airlines that charge for baggage, carry-on baggage, pillows and blankets and to use the lavatory have been put on a no-fly list by astute travelers!
EPA Attacks the Tree Pollen Problem
The EPA announced their intention to reduce the nation's pollen count. 500 million flowering trees will be cut down once the plan is approved by the Obama administration and environmentalists.