New Play Found in William Shakespeare's Cesspit
Archaeologists have uncovered a previously unknown play in William Shakespeare's cesspit today. A leather-bound manuscript was found of the play entitled "Richard the Turd".
Bad Headline number 1:
March planned for next August
Two Men Arrested in Shooting Incident
Two men, the occupants of a Yugo car, were arrested last night in Birmingham. It is believed that they were involved in Britain's first ever push-by shooting.
South Africa fears for the World Cup, even the English Hooligans are pulling out!
After the brutal murder of Eugene Terreblanche South Africa is very worried about the World Cup, even the English Hooligans are pulling out for fear of their lives so what hope for the rest of us?
Scrabble introduce new ADULT version including....?
Scrabble have had enough of being boring and have issued an adult version including triple and quadruple points for certain words and connecting words, i.e. FUCK/DICK, BUTT/BOLLOCKS, TITS/PUSSY, etc!
Local Man Strokes Someone Else's Cock
"I was just walking past a farm yard and I saw his beautiful cockerel strutting about, so I picked it up and stoked it's little head. I think he belongs to Farmer Jones", said Jim.
Man Flashes Dick in Public
Local photographer Tom Brady took a picture of his friend Dick Whitingin the public park yesterday.
"It was slightly overcast so I used a flash", Tom explained.
Local Villagers Attack Castle
Claim Dr. Frankenstein is up to something.
Obama - gives 'Green Light'
Obama - its OK to hit the U.S. with chemical and/or biological weapons - the U.S. will not respond.
written by Tcoah
, 06 April 2010
Premier League Will Be Won By The Fattest And The Fisters
Sorry...the fastest and the fittest...
The Perfect Spy...
According to MI5, the perfect spy is 5'7" and able to withstand cold, heat and stay immobile for hours. He should be able to work in the slums. Jesus Christ fits the bill but MI5 have not found him.
This year's Telesales conference tickets will be available next week. Cold callers will be ringing you to offer you tickets shortly.
written by IainB
, 06 April 2010
Brits into Fascist tactics like censorship
So, you Brits are into the whole Fascist thing with censorship, too, hmm? Don't you have history books?
Lexington? Concord? Still bitter because America has the better fighters?
Sagittarius Finds a Cure for Cancer
Carlie Crabapple, 07-07-'94, says she's feeling much better since Arvin Archuleta, 12-14-'95, made her a nice, hot cup of Whingings Earl Grey, accompanied by a lovely orange Jaffa Cake.
Afghan Pres. Karzai says Taliban's Poppies Smell Better
"Hey, Man! Like this is GREAT STUFF!" Karzai proclaimed, after sampling some of the Taliban's opium. Last week, Karzai had shared a hash pipe with Hillary Clinton, on her recent diplomatic mission.
Plastic Bags Banned
Town bans plastic bags for picking up doggie doo! Residents who own dogs say "green hair nets are not the optimum solution."
Space Ship Lands on Earth
GLATU: *@&* (We come in peace!) ENVIRONMENTALISTS: Is your space ship powered by green energy? GLATU: @&&@! (They have these assholes here too!)
New Flu Bug Discovered
A Socialist Fascist Organism causing flu has been discovered. People who contract this flu suffer from alternate bouts of screaming "Seig Heil" or bending over and saying "Comrade do it again!"