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New Play Found in William Shakespeare's Cesspit

Archaeologists have uncovered a previously unknown play in William Shakespeare's cesspit today. A leather-bound manuscript was found of the play entitled "Richard the Turd".

written by IN SEINE, 06 April 2010
Rating:

Bad Headline number 1:

March planned for next August

written by IN SEINE, 06 April 2010
Rating:

Two Men Arrested in Shooting Incident

Two men, the occupants of a Yugo car, were arrested last night in Birmingham. It is believed that they were involved in Britain's first ever push-by shooting.

written by IN SEINE, 06 April 2010
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South Africa fears for the World Cup, even the English Hooligans are pulling out!

After the brutal murder of Eugene Terreblanche South Africa is very worried about the World Cup, even the English Hooligans are pulling out for fear of their lives so what hope for the rest of us?

written by Jaggedone, 06 April 2010
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Scrabble introduce new ADULT version including....?

Scrabble have had enough of being boring and have issued an adult version including triple and quadruple points for certain words and connecting words, i.e. FUCK/DICK, BUTT/BOLLOCKS, TITS/PUSSY, etc!

written by Jaggedone, 06 April 2010
Rating:

Local Man Strokes Someone Else's Cock

"I was just walking past a farm yard and I saw his beautiful cockerel strutting about, so I picked it up and stoked it's little head. I think he belongs to Farmer Jones", said Jim.

written by Jesus Budda, 06 April 2010
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Man Flashes Dick in Public

Local photographer Tom Brady took a picture of his friend Dick Whitingin the public park yesterday.

"It was slightly overcast so I used a flash", Tom explained.

written by Jesus Budda, 06 April 2010
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Local Villagers Attack Castle

Claim Dr. Frankenstein is up to something.

written by Jesus Budda, 06 April 2010
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Obama - gives 'Green Light'

Obama - its OK to hit the U.S. with chemical and/or biological weapons - the U.S. will not respond.

written by Tcoah, 06 April 2010
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Premier League Will Be Won By The Fattest And The Fisters

Sorry...the fastest and the fittest...

written by Skoob1999, 06 April 2010
Rating:

The Perfect Spy...

According to MI5, the perfect spy is 5'7" and able to withstand cold, heat and stay immobile for hours. He should be able to work in the slums. Jesus Christ fits the bill but MI5 have not found him.

written by IN SEINE, 06 April 2010
Rating:

Tele-Conference

This year's Telesales conference tickets will be available next week. Cold callers will be ringing you to offer you tickets shortly.

written by IainB, 06 April 2010
Rating:

Brits into Fascist tactics like censorship

So, you Brits are into the whole Fascist thing with censorship, too, hmm? Don't you have history books?
Lexington? Concord? Still bitter because America has the better fighters?

written by Daniel Bristol, 06 April 2010
Rating:

Sagittarius Finds a Cure for Cancer

Carlie Crabapple, 07-07-'94, says she's feeling much better since Arvin Archuleta, 12-14-'95, made her a nice, hot cup of Whingings Earl Grey, accompanied by a lovely orange Jaffa Cake.

written by The San Francisco Onion, 06 April 2010
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Afghan Pres. Karzai says Taliban's Poppies Smell Better

"Hey, Man! Like this is GREAT STUFF!" Karzai proclaimed, after sampling some of the Taliban's opium. Last week, Karzai had shared a hash pipe with Hillary Clinton, on her recent diplomatic mission.

written by Evan Essence, 06 April 2010
Rating:

Plastic Bags Banned

Town bans plastic bags for picking up doggie doo! Residents who own dogs say "green hair nets are not the optimum solution."

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 06 April 2010
Rating:

Space Ship Lands on Earth

GLATU: *@&* (We come in peace!) ENVIRONMENTALISTS: Is your space ship powered by green energy? GLATU: @&&@! (They have these assholes here too!)

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 06 April 2010
Rating:

New Flu Bug Discovered

A Socialist Fascist Organism causing flu has been discovered. People who contract this flu suffer from alternate bouts of screaming "Seig Heil" or bending over and saying "Comrade do it again!"

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 06 April 2010
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