Order by:
Rating:

Spoof Breaking News!

Hey, so Bureau's back is back!

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

"I needed something to distract me" said driver

Male driver so 'souped-out' by the 'great' Cameron et al debate that he reversed his Mercedes C-class through the sidewall of a multi-storey car park.

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

Prime Minister Calls "Pot, Kettle, Black! "

... when he called Mrs Duffy a Bigot. "It's a good job I'm deaf" said Mrs Duffy. David Cameron said "what's a bigot?" Mrs Duffy said just one word "what? "

written by IN SEINE, 29 April 2010
Rating:

Bad headline number 62:

20-Year Friendship Ends at Altar

written by IN SEINE, 29 April 2010
Rating:

Bad headline number 61:

Drug users reach all-time high!

written by IN SEINE, 29 April 2010
Rating:

Swansea Police Apprehend Violent Transvestite

Swansea police have apprehended a violent transvestite in the city centre today. It turns out that the man is a Welsh cross-dresser!

written by IN SEINE, 29 April 2010
Rating:

'Breatharian' Is the World's Slowest Indian

A man who claims to just live off fresh air is to appear in a new documentary called "The World's Slowest Indian" because his metabolism has not moved for over 70 years. He says; "I don't give a shit!"

written by IN SEINE, 29 April 2010
Rating:

He Is Not Taking the P***

An Indian has not drunk anything for over 70 years. His urethra as completely healed up, through lack of use. He certainly does not get taken short!

written by IN SEINE, 29 April 2010
Rating:

Indian Claims Not to Have Food or Drink for over 70 Years

An Indian is under medical supervision after claiming that he has not eaten or drank anything for over 70 years. With the cost of living rising as it is, he may have some great money-saving tips.

written by IN SEINE, 29 April 2010
Rating:

TRIBUTE TO MAX CLIFFORD

Max Clifford - the face that lunched a thousand shits. He can light up a room - simpy by walking out of it. A legend in his own mirror. People like him don't just grow on trees - they swing from them.

written by Donnie Dogmeat, 29 April 2010
Rating:

99% Illegal Immigrants

Karl Rove Has Reservations With Arizona Law Against Illegal Immigrants. So Do The Indians On The Reservations!

written by Bureau, 29 April 2010
Rating:

It's Certainly Possible

Many asking why Barack Obama wants new immigrant legislation. One possible answer could be -and this is just a guess -5 million new democrat voters.

written by Bureau, 29 April 2010
Rating:

Legislators Re-think Putting Regulation in Hands of Greedy Wall Street Bankers

They now think it might not have been such a great idea, Einsteins that they are.

written by Charpa93, 29 April 2010
Rating:

Local Man Wins Beth

Local man Kevin Wanker won his new girlfriend Beth Bumfluff during a pub quiz last night.

"She's lovely for a fat girl", he said.

written by Jesus Budda, 29 April 2010
Rating:

Cow Dumps over the Moon

Local cow Moovetta laMoo took a nice, wet shit on the Moon as it leaped across it during its regular nightly Moon-jumping adventure.

written by Jesus Budda, 29 April 2010
Rating:

Local Man thinks he is Gay

Local man Charles Tittyface, 32, has had a big smile on his face ever since he won the lottery and invented a cure for the common cold.

"Lately I have been quiet gay and cheery", he said.

written by Jesus Budda, 29 April 2010
Rating:

More Americans Drinking Themselves to Death

Says one drinker, "Sure, it's a slow process, but can you think of a better way to go?"

written by Charpa93, 29 April 2010
Rating:

Local Man has a Fair to Remember

Local man Billy Fatknob had a fun fair in his back yard today. Many people attended and had fun on the bouncy caste, slide and the mysterious 'bucket of shite'. "I will remember this til the day I die", he said. And then he died.

written by Jesus Budda, 29 April 2010
Rating:

Campaign Targets Meth Use By Indians

National and local news urges Native Americans to return to natural peyote.

written by Bureau, 29 April 2010
Rating:

Bad Weather Could Mar Oil Spill in Gulf

Many tourists leaving after slick no longer forms the shape of Pope John Paul II.

written by Bureau, 29 April 2010
Rating:

Spring Surprise

Vermont and New Hampshire caught off-guard with late Spring arrival of ten-foot snow.

written by Bureau, 29 April 2010
Rating:

All About Voters

Erections are all about events for voters. I'm sorry, that should be "elections", although the first does apply asshole.....also.

written by Bureau, 29 April 2010
Rating:

National Program Rates Neighborhoods' Eco-Friendliness

Bear Wallow, Kentucky neighbors say no to big Windmill. Vote to run and fart on backside every time they get a cramp, drop a load.

written by Bureau, 29 April 2010
Rating:

Chocolate is better than sex

Scientists at Glasgow University have discovered that women find chocolate more satisfying than sex. So the advice is not to use chocolate sauce in your foreplay.

written by IainB, 29 April 2010
Rating:

Milk Producers Protest Soy Using Name "Milk"

In a nationwide poll, leading replacement name at 79 percent is "Piss!"

written by Bureau, 29 April 2010
Rating:

Spain's Credit Drops!

Monetary unit, the "Armada" sinks further overnight.

written by Bureau, 29 April 2010
Rating:

Massachusetts Wind Farm

The state of Massachusetts has apparently approved the building a Wind Farm. Project passed once it was disguised to Kennedy's as a big "Blow Job".

written by Bureau, 29 April 2010
Rating:

Yankovic #11

Weird Al Yankovic to do knew Beatles Album including his new version of "A Hard Day's Diet".

written by Bureau, 29 April 2010
Rating:

Yankovic #10

Weird Al Yankovic to do knew Beatles Album including his new version of "All My Lisping".

written by Bureau, 29 April 2010
Rating:

Yankovic #9

Weird Al Yankovic to do knew Beatles Album including his new version of "And Your Bird Can Sing (While Mine Just Hangs There).

written by Bureau, 29 April 2010
Rating:

Kelly Osborne named as one of the World's Most Beautiful People

Judges David Blunkett, Stevie Wonder and Harvey Price were unavailable for further comment.

written by Bandersnatch, 29 April 2010
Rating:

Yankovic #8

Weird Al Yankovic to do knew Beatles Album including his new version of "All You Need Is A Single-Fingered Glove"

written by Bureau, 29 April 2010
Rating:

Yankovic #7

Weird Al Yankovic to do knew Beatles Album including his new version of "All Things Must Pass (Even George)"

written by Bureau, 29 April 2010
Rating:

Yankovic #6

Weird Al Yankovic to do knew Beatles Album including his new version of "Rack Naturally"

written by Bureau, 29 April 2010
Rating:

Yankovic #5

Weird Al Yankovic to do knew Beatles Album including his new version of "Across The 'Unicorn'"

written by Bureau, 29 April 2010
Rating:

Yankovic #4

Weird Al Yankovic to do knew Beatles Album including his new version of "A Taste Of Horny".

written by Bureau, 29 April 2010
Rating:

Yanlovic #3

Weird Al Yankovic to do knew Beatles Album including his new version of "Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Fart Club Band"

written by Bureau, 29 April 2010
Rating:

Yankovic #2

Weird Al Yankovic to do knew Beatles Album including his new version of "A Day In The Wife".

written by Bureau, 29 April 2010
Rating:

Yankovic's Latest

Weird Al Yankovic to do knew Beatles Album including his new version of "Let It Pee".

written by Bureau, 29 April 2010
Rating:

Risk Pools Unsafe

Obama health law undercuts risk pools in 35 states. He now asks that owners place signs near pools that state, "Dangerous Undertow possible". GOP orders government to stay out of families home pools.

written by Bureau, 29 April 2010
Rating:

New Custer Book

A new book about Custer and all those at "Custer's Last Stand" is out, revealing that although standing, his head was missing when search party arrived.

written by Bureau, 29 April 2010
Rating:

"Tiger's Whore" Scratched

"Tiger's Whore" withdrawn from Derby list until owner agrees to change name.

written by Bureau, 29 April 2010
Rating:

The Secret Is Out

"Gulf oil spill could help nation to be more aware of oil spills", admits Oil Company CEO.

written by Bureau, 29 April 2010
Rating:

Bullock's Secret

How Sandra Bullock kept adopted child a secret for five years to be made into a TV movie.

written by Bureau, 29 April 2010
Rating:

Thirty days hath September

So what? Anyway, nobody says 'hath' anymore.

written by Gail Farrelly, 29 April 2010
Rating:

Free dictionaries for Rochdale

After Gordon Brown's gaff of calling a Rochdale woman a bigot, it turns out that nobody in Rochdale knew what the word meant. As part of his apology, Brown will send the town a dictionary each.

written by IainB, 29 April 2010
Rating:

Politicians

The job of a politician is to be (re)elected. Anything that benefits the country or constituents is merely a happy coincidence.

written by IainB, 29 April 2010
Rating:

Brown doesn't see eye-to-eye with voter

Gordon Brown outrageously called an old woman 'old' and a 'woman'.

written by Coops, 29 April 2010
Rating:

CCW update

Worshington State requires men over 10 inches must file for a concealed weapon permit.

written by Kevlar, 29 April 2010
Rating:

"Probably not the best time to ask him about a new car"

'when his blank didn't shoot'

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

"Silver Lining"?

Junkie with heavy bleeding gums and stomach ulcers doesn't need to swap needles

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

"if at three different levels"

ur between two and four levels

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

LBC ... an "In Joke" at PC

Let's be Celtic (Plaid Cymru)

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

Man set fire to himself

smoking inside his jacket

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

'LBC'

"Let's be Cool"

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

and for a summary of the news we go to Brian Robson at LBC

"Ashes to Ashes"; "Dust to Dust" and Urns in Lake Geneva

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

Urn, Earnie, REM and the ERM

"absolutely nothing in common"

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

"Guessing Game Contest"

How many urns in Lake Geneva?

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

If Gordon Brown earned a dollar for every urn found in Lake Geneva

he would be between $100 and $200 dollars better off

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

"One way ... to earn a living"

dragging up ash-filled urns from Lake Geneva

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

"ERM"

'Different from REM'

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

NASA

'never a simple answer'

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

NASA

Nationals are such asses

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

NASA

Nipples are special always

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

NASA

Never assume Staphylococcus aureus

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

NASA

Sodium stimulated asses

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

'NASA'

Never ask Sally anything

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

'... and wear a bobble hat'

'if your wife tells you too'

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

Wear a Hat

in the Far East

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

'If u really really think'

'just don't do it while driving'

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

"All Men R Bastards"

Not per se true - only 99.99% r.

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

'A man is assumed to be innocent'

'yeah right'

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

Water is patentable

to the extent that it is patentable subject matter

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

Peaches are ok

If not the 'Geldorf variety'

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

Palin is to Conservative Party Politic

as Winston Churchill was to beaches

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

"Simple is always best"

'but sometimes the best can kill u'

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

"My little black book"

over-rated

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

'If u genuinely know the answer to the meaning of life'

'keep it to yourself'

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

'The reason we don't see aliens is obvious'

They're invisible

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

"Air is free"

'until it runs out'

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

'If the roof falls in"

don't be sitting on it

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

'If u get struck by lightning"

u were probably outside

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

Merlin

just some geezer long past who was merry and lingered too long over his pint of ale

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

There was once a wizard

his name was not Merlin

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

'Just don't forget'

MOTHER'S DAY

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

'if ur a wimp'

'rejoice' - u will live longer than the high school jocks.

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

'If you have no spunk'

it's because u don't have any

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

'Just think about it'

That your dad's sperm made it to your mother's egg - 'THAT'S WHERE IT ALL WENT WRONG'

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

"Mine's a wall-banger Mary"

and on other nights a cool dark Brain's Assay.

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

"Jack the Lad"

"If u say so"

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

'For every new snippet'

there's one dying

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

'Go ride a bike'

can give u muscles or a heart attack

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

LBD or LRD?

in "Pitch Black" 'doesn't matter either way'

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

"Give a little"

"take a little"; "spin a little"; "shave a little" and get fired on your first job.

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

"Life is like a cup of water"

'no it isn't'

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

"Twiz Waz"

'a time when life seemed ordinary and nice - like American apple pie'

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

'When life seems dull'

Sharpen the garden axe

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

'If life catches up with you'

'ur not moving fast enough'

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

"Short back and sides"

says nothing about the top of your head

written by Tcoah, 29 April 2010
Rating:

Boris Badenov First Arrest Under New AZ Law

Natasha has gone into hiding.

written by Charpa93, 29 April 2010
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