There were 1,215 spoof news snippets published in April 2010. A selection of the best rated snippets is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.

Order by:
Rating:

Supermarket Bans Bruised Fruit.

Oranges to launch a peel.

written by Nick Hobbs, 15 April 2010
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Egg On Their Face.

Army finally admits Humpty was pushed.

written by Nick Hobbs, 14 April 2010
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Until Further Notice

It will no longer matter, if it's the Twin Towers or an Abortion Clinic. A terrorist will be prosecuted as a terrorist. The god being honored, being the only difference.

written by Stump Parrish, 12 April 2010
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Katie Price To Undergo Tit Reduction.

She plans to leave Alex Reid at home more often.

written by Nick Hobbs, 14 April 2010
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Lies! Lies! Lies!

Readers of The Sun admit they can't read.

written by Nick Hobbs, 14 April 2010
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AIP newsflash...FDA to Ban "Natural" Foods...

An out break of death by natural causes has the FDA halting all sales and consumption of natural foods. Organic & Natural Farms will be quaranteened until chemicals and preservatives can be applied.

written by Stump Parrish, 16 April 2010
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Amputees Panic

They mishear about an increase in Stamp Duty

written by Nick Hobbs, 14 April 2010
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Mexico to tighten border security

Mexico has decided has had enough. They are tired of Americans stealing citizens to work in low paying jobs while offering them no benefits. They will consider a slave market arrangement with the USA

written by Stump Parrish, 14 April 2010
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Free to good home

10 adorable puppies are offered to good homes. Mother is a full blooded German Shepard and father was a Super Dog able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

written by Stump Parrish, 10 April 2010
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Thesaurus

What's another word for Thesaurus?

written by Lady Godiva, 14 April 2010
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Barack Hussein Obama's Real Name Finally Revealed...

It's Rumpelstiltskin!

written by Hydrogen Balloon, 16 April 2010
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Westboro Baptist Church Says god Hates Spoofers

Reverend Phelps announced that those who freely practice the spoofer's lifestlye, are going to hell with those damned homosexuals. Supporters(inbred kin) carried signs stating "God Hates Spoofers"

written by Stump Parrish, 14 April 2010
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New series of bumper stickers launched

Millions of Battered Women and I'm Still Eating Mine Plain

written by Stump Parrish, 12 April 2010
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Cheryl Has World's Best Arse.

Personally I never rated Ashley as a footballer or a human being!

written by Nick Hobbs, 14 April 2010
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Eastenders To Ban 'Real' Slapping On Set.

Let's hope they plan to replace it with 'real' machete attacks instead!

written by Nick Hobbs, 14 April 2010
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Ashes, Ashes we all stay on the ground

Ring around the larva
All of that palarva
Ashes,Ashes,
We all stay on the ground

written by Lady Godiva, 18 April 2010
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Up-coming election

One-legged man says he is 'hopping mad' at the candidates standing for election. Blind man says he can't see the point. Deaf man said, "What?"

written by Lady Godiva, 14 April 2010
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I walked on water - just like Jesus

It's true. I did walk on water just like Jesus. It was called a frozen lake. What's the big bloody deal?

written by Lady Godiva, 18 April 2010
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New series of bumper stickers launched

You Keep Prayin' For Me and I'll Keep Thinking For You

written by Stump Parrish, 12 April 2010
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Jesus Returns

Jesus made a long awaited return to NYC today and saw so many people wearing crosses, severe panic attacks set in. He was last seen running down the Hudson River screaming, no friggin' way, not again!

written by Stump Parrish, 12 April 2010
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Sod it!

Sod it! I've got writer's block.

written by Lady Godiva, 14 April 2010
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Priests to be given PENANCES by Pope

Priests to be given Penances for sexually abusing young boys.'Say 3 Hail Marys + 2 Our Fathers. All sins will be forgiven'.
What about the victims? Sell the Vatican. Divide the proceeds amongst them.

written by Lady Godiva, 15 April 2010
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Cable Apology

Cable company president apologizes to parents for accidentally showing section from Playboy Channel. Will be sure they are only cartoons blowing each others heads off from now on.

written by Bureau, 02 April 2010
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Ash Ash

Ash, ash, ashoo-oo-oo. People around the world are sneezing uncontrollably as ash from the Icelandic Volcano gets up their noses. People are unable to function normally as they can't stop sneezing.

written by Lady Godiva, 18 April 2010
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John Terry "I know nossing".

John Terry told reporters he never knew about his dad's involvement with drugs. He'd wondered where all the money came from, but believed his dad when he said he was moonlighting as a male escort.

written by Lady Godiva, 13 April 2010
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Image of Jesus Appears in NYC Central Park.

Hordes of religious pilgrims flocked to Central Park today to see an image of Jesus that has appeared in a homeless guy's crap. Some waited 8 hrs to file thru the public toilet and murmur, Holy Shit

written by Stump Parrish, 25 April 2010
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Single Japanese Women Flocking To America

A noted Podiatrist's discovery of a direct correlation between foot size and penis size, has thousands of single Japanese women flocking to America in search of Bigfoot.

written by Stump Parrish, 13 April 2010
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Docs Term For Erectile Dysfunction #11

According to a new study, most urologist who talk to their nurse in front of others usually calls the patient's erectile dysfunction: "The flubby chubby"

written by Bureau, 02 April 2010
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Strange things we see when they aren't there

I'm scrolling down today April 11th, and see 'Featured Writer'. I only saw the 'tip' of the accompanying photo and thought it was a penis. I continued scrolling and saw it wasn't. So sad!

written by Lady Godiva, 11 April 2010
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Stacy Keibler - The Woman With The Longest Legs in America

Ex-Wrestler and Dancing With The Stars contestant Stacy Keibler has just written her first book. It is entitled, "Yes Guys, My Legs Do Go All The Way Up To My Belly Button."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 April 2010
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Doc's Term For Erectile Dysfunction #4

According to a new study, most urologist who talk to their nurse in front of others usually calls the patient's erectile dysfunction: "The half Monte"

written by Bureau, 02 April 2010
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Doc's Term For Erectile Dysfunction #6

According to a new study, most urologist who talk to their nurse in front of others usually calls the patient's erectile dysfunction: "The worm has turned...down"

written by Bureau, 02 April 2010
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Snippet King Releases Statement

"Thanks to all concerned, but I am not currently recovering from a vasectomy." :- Bureau

written by Skoob1999, 20 April 2010
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Tigers keeping his balls clean

Tiger Woods has promised to keep his balls clean as well as his putter. His balls and putter will be checked daily for any sign of foreign matter, or even, American matter for that matter.

written by Lady Godiva, 13 April 2010
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!!! BREAKING NEWS ALERT !!!

Nothing to worry about folks, it was just an ant breaking wind. Go back to your terror filled life that makes you jump at everything labelled ALERT

written by Stump Parrish, 10 April 2010
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Doc's Term For Erectile Dysfunction #2

According to a new study, most urologist who talk to their nurse in front of others usually calls the patient's erectile dysfunction: "Tragic Johnson"

written by Bureau, 02 April 2010
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Doc's Term For Erectile Dysfunction #3

According to a new study, most urologist who talk to their nurse in front of others usually calls the patient's erectile dysfunction: "On the Dole!"

written by Bureau, 02 April 2010
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Doc's Term For Erectile Dysfunction #5

According to a new study, most urologist who talk to their nurse in front of others usually calls the patient's erectile dysfunction: "Head bowed in shame"

written by Bureau, 02 April 2010
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Doc's Term For Erectile Dysfunction #7

According to a new study, most urologists who talk to their nurse in front of others usually calls the patient's erectile dysfunction: "Aint-Aconda"

written by Bureau, 02 April 2010
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Doc's Term For Erectile Dysfunction #8

According to a new study, most urologist who talk to their nurse in front of others usually calls the patient's erectile dysfunction: "Lonely Baloney"

written by Bureau, 02 April 2010
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Doc's Term For Erectile Dysfunction #9

According to a new study, most urologist who talk to their nurse in front of others usually calls the patient's erectile dysfunction: "The Salami Tsunami"

written by Bureau, 02 April 2010
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Stevie Wonder 'in shock' at latest revelation

Stevie Wonder in shock following his PA's revelation.

Stevie said, "What do you mean I'M BLACK?"

written by Lady Godiva, 25 April 2010
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Leaders Debate

Also confused with The Muppet Show.

written by Skoob1999, 22 April 2010
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Ann Coulter's Brand New (And Appropriate) Nickname

Ann Coulter says she is tired of people calling her "Trigger Face." Okey dokey, guys and gals so from now on Ann will be known as "Horsey Face."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 April 2010
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Westboro Baptist Church To Support Tea Baggers

Reverend Phelps's church WBC is contributing to the tea baggers in the next round of elections. Signs are getting confusing, One says god hates fags and another says that god loves tea baggers. WTF?

written by Stump Parrish, 15 April 2010
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Global Warming Update

The primary source for greehouses gases in North America has been traced to an illegal mexican operation reportedly raising an extremely toxic Pinto Bean variety in green houses across Southern Texas.

written by Stump Parrish, 10 April 2010
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Westboro Baptist Church Angry About Gay Hospital Visit Law

Reverend Phelps has spoken out about Obama forcing hospitals to treat gay partners as family. This means that all GOOD christians risk exposure to second hand gayness while visiting ill loved ones.

written by Stump Parrish, 16 April 2010
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Whitney Croaks

Whitney Houston croaked at her first concert in 11 years in UK. Veterinarians were called responding to a 999 call from someone passing the concert hall believing an animal inside was being tortured.

written by Lady Godiva, 15 April 2010
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Heavy Joke

A rather plump girl served me my order in McDonalds at lunch time, she said, "Sorry about the wait."

I said "Don't worry, you'll lose it eventually."

written by Spicewood, 08 April 2010
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Jenna Jameson's Husband Files Complaint

Claims she refuses to mix work and pleasure.

written by Skoob1999, 22 April 2010
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Bureau - Back to Work NOW!

Lowton claims Snippet section going to hell in a handcart while you're off lazing around.

written by Skoob1999, 22 April 2010
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Nick Clegg Denies Cash For Questions Allegations

States that he never appeared on Bullseye with Jim Bowen.

written by Skoob1999, 22 April 2010
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TV Viewers Switch Over

Millions switch from Leaders Debate to Atletico Madrid v Liverpool. Then hurriedly switch back.

written by Skoob1999, 22 April 2010
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The Bitch Known As Madonna

Madonna, ever the businesswoman, has said that she will not end her on going feud with Nancy Grace until Grace gives her $200,000.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 April 2010
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Arizona Immigration Notice

In an effort control the use profiling while enforcing Arizona's new Immigrant Law, officers have been instructed to arrest anyone found outside their homes between the hours of 12:01 AM and 1159 PM

written by Stump Parrish, 25 April 2010
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AIP Reporter Stump Parrish Kidnapped, Ransom terms announced

AIP's crack, head reporter, Stump Parrish was kidnapped from his lalaland penthouse today. Kidnappers have demanded that spoof readers offer 150 positive votes on his stories or they will release him.

written by Stump Parrish, 25 April 2010
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TeaBaggers Vow To Stop Another Obama Movement

During a cabinet meeting this morning President Obama excused himself for a visit to the crapper. Joe Watson R, SC hollered, you sh*t?. Teabaggers took up the cry stating we've had enough Obama crap

written by Stump Parrish, 25 April 2010
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Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.

Inside a dog it's too dark to read.

written by Stump Parrish, 25 April 2010
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Lesbians Against Bush plan 2 year celebration

The National Chapter of Lesbians Against Bush has announced plans to celebrate the two year anniversary of Obama's waxing of that little bit of useless fluff.

written by Stump Parrish, 11 April 2010
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New series of bumper stickers launched

God Bless America - Except Dallas - Screw Dallas

written by Stump Parrish, 12 April 2010
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Westboro Baptist Church To Picket Itself

Reverend Phelps has announced A protest to be held outside of The Westboro Baptist Church on Sunday. He explains that during his morning rounds of the church 2 Deacons were discovered in a closet

written by Stump Parrish, 16 April 2010
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New series of bumper stickers launched

Born Again Atheist

written by Stump Parrish, 12 April 2010
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Texas Governor Rick Perry Don't Take No Shit From No One

Governor Rick Perry of Texas has emailed Elin Nordegren and Sandra Bullock and offered to bring Tiger and Jesse down to Texas and personally 'de-nut' the two womanizing shitheads.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 April 2010
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Doc's Term For Erectile Dysfunction #10

According to a new study, most urologist who talk to their nurse in front of others usually calls the patient's erectile dysfunction: "Bone, Postponed!"

written by Bureau, 02 April 2010
Rating:

Works for me

Years ago it was suggested, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away."

But since most doctors are now Muslim, I've found a bacon sandwich works just as well.

written by Spicewood, 08 April 2010
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Joan Rivers and Her Amazing Underwear

Joan Rivers has just celebrated her 102nd birthday. She blew out the candles and then for some inexplicable reason then proceeded to shove all of the two-tier birthday cake into her panties.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 April 2010
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Earthquake In China

Caused by trapped coalminers banging the walls to alert rescuers

written by Skoob1999, 14 April 2010
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The Truth About Sharon Osbourne (Finally!)

Sharon Osbourne admits that the reason that she acts giddy and stupid is because she is giddy and stupid.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 April 2010
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The Amazing Youthful Looking Old Macaulay Culkin

The star of the Home Alone movies, Macaulay Culkin is 28, and he is thrilled beyond belief that he finally looks like he is 18.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 April 2010
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Social Security Update

After Bush announcement that we would run out of social security by 2042, Obama updated that yesterday, saying we ran out this morning. "Businesses will have to pay more..if they come back."

written by Bureau, 01 April 2010
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NBA Donates

The NBA at a recent meeting, unanimously agreed that all players would refrain from getting more tattoos until 2011, and the 3.4 million dollars saved would be donated to charity.

written by Spicewood, 26 April 2010
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Obama's Easter Present

Obama hails 'shared spirit of humanity' at Easter. "I've just laid the biggest rotten egg in the history of the United States!"

written by Bureau, 03 April 2010
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All Eyes On Nick Clegg

Checking out the hairy nostril rumours.

written by Skoob1999, 22 April 2010
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Countdown To The Leaders Debate

Easily confused with The Muppet Show

written by Skoob1999, 22 April 2010
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Great Conservative Giveaway

A free jar of Marmite for anyone not voting for the BNP.

written by Skoob1999, 22 April 2010
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If Katie Price Is Pregnant, The Big Question Is...

Will the baby bump be bigger than the other two?

written by Skoob1999, 14 April 2010
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Brett Favre: Have Football - Will Travel

Minnesota Vikings quarterback Brett Favre plans to announce his retirement in May, his unretirement in June, and his retirement in July.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 April 2010
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Carrie Prejean & Senator John Edwards

Wal-Mart reports that this years sale of its Carrie Prejean action figure doll has now surpassed the Sen. John Edwards action figure doll by 7 dolls to 5 dolls.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 April 2010
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NASA Provides HD Photos of the Sun

The sun is not pleased and comments, "They didn't get my good side and they refused to airbrush the photos."

written by Gail Farrelly, 23 April 2010
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Leadership Debate...

Director shouts "Action!" and Cameron craps his pants.

written by Skoob1999, 15 April 2010
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Michelle McGee Says "Bullocks To Boll..."

This headline isn't going to work out, is it?

written by Skoob1999, 15 April 2010
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Mike Tyson - Once A Cannibal, Always A Cannibal!

Mike Tyson has been permanently banned from Disneyland after biting off one of Minnie Mouse's ears. Tyson reportedly said that the rat bitch disrespected him.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 April 2010
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French and Henry

In an interview, Dawn French said there was a "slim chance of reconciliation" with Lenny.

'Fat chance' more like.

written by Coops, 16 April 2010
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Mortuary Slabs

I'm dead against them.

written by Coops, 17 April 2010
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Four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie

Animal rights group stages a demonstration in protest.

written by Gail Farrelly, 26 April 2010
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Crack

If volcanoes are God's crack pipes, he's on one massive rock bender right now.

written by Coops, 18 April 2010
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"Obama plays more golf than Bush".

So what?

I play more football than a tree.

written by Coops, 20 April 2010
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Survey Shows Women Spend Three Years Of Their Lives Shopping

And six years returning what they bought.

written by Gail Farrelly, 11 April 2010
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I believe my son is too right wing and could get in trouble.

I'll play him more central next game.

written by Coops, 21 April 2010
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Foie Gras

Disproving what's good for the goose is good for the gander.

written by Coops, 21 April 2010
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We're All In This Together

Translates from politicalspeak to - You're on your own mate!

written by Skoob1999, 13 April 2010
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Scottish Nationalists Manifesto

Rebuild Hadrian's wall and legalise Haggis hunting.

written by Skoob1999, 13 April 2010
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David Cameron Makes His Mind Up

"I'll have this one...no...that one...no...D'oh!"

written by Skoob1999, 14 April 2010
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Today's Weather

It will be mainly crap, with occasional crappy spells and the odd outbreak of crap.

written by Skoob1999, 14 April 2010
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Clapper plus Crapper is an Ass Zapper

Dan Dapper's Granmammy T. Rapper Dapper the ex-Flapper Lapper activated her Clapper sittin on da Crapper and flushed her Dapper ass away. Da Dapper Flapper Funeral Capper is music by Frank Zapper.

written by Stump Parrish, 25 April 2010
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The New Reality Show Starring Amy Winehouse and Jesse James

Amy Winehouse and Jesse James have signed on to do a new reality show on the Fox Network. The show is titled Show Us Your Most Intimate Tattoos.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 April 2010
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Premier League Will Be Won By The Fattest And The Fisters

Sorry...the fastest and the fittest...

written by Skoob1999, 06 April 2010
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So Far, Not Many Sales

New 60MPG hybrid car to run on coal water drained off former mountaintops that have been blasted away and Great Spotted Owl piss.

written by Bureau, 01 April 2010
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Doc's Term For Erectile Dysfunction

According to a new study, most urologist who talk to their nurse in front of others usually calls the patient's erectile dysfunction: "He's down in the humps."

written by Bureau, 02 April 2010
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Prime Minister Calls "Pot, Kettle, Black! "

... when he called Mrs Duffy a Bigot. "It's a good job I'm deaf" said Mrs Duffy. David Cameron said "what's a bigot?" Mrs Duffy said just one word "what? "

written by IN SEINE, 29 April 2010
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