Order by:
Rating:

Chunk of ice the size of a skyscraper launched from the Moon, hits NASA...

....with a note attached, "Here's your water, chumps!"

written by Jack Van Gump, 09 October 2009
Rating:

Cards Can Support the Mentally Ill

Sending cards and gifts to the mentally ill can help them tremendously, so say experts. Most of these experts work for Clinton Cards or Hallmark.

written by IN SEINE, 09 October 2009
Rating:

Mel Gibson is no longer a pissed catholic!

Mel Gibson has gone back to his roots and become a very MAD, MAX! After rejecting the catholic church and Moses, he has seen the light and now listens to TUPAC in the desert, totally MAD, MAX!

written by Jaggedone, 09 October 2009
Rating:

Fucking US morons explode 2 rockets on the moon for a bucket of ICE, ICE, Baby

The US throw another 79$ million at the moon hoping to discover ICE, the Earth's ice is melting so US nerd scientists thought it would be clever to import it from the moon, fucking idiot aliens!!

written by Jaggedone, 09 October 2009
Rating:

Halle Berry Wins Nobel Piece Prize

The Nobel Commission issued a statement Friday calling this year's recipient "one hot piece of dark meat."

written by Bob Jones Bulletin, 09 October 2009
Rating:

Chicken Plant Unprepared

A new study reveals that an Arkansas chicken processing plant is completely unprepared for a nuclear war!

written by Bureau, 09 October 2009
Rating:

He's Still Going To Jail

Toledo, Ohio woman tells police that her husband does NOT torture her with cigarettes. "He just loves to smoke during sex instead of after."

written by Bureau, 09 October 2009
Rating:

Magazine Going Broke

The Lottery Magazine reveals it's top one hundred number combination's of 2009, through August.

written by Bureau, 09 October 2009
Rating:

Husband Not So Favre Gone

Green Bay, Wisconsin woman admits she's no longer a "football widow". "Now I'm just a 'football play-off widow'!"

written by Bureau, 09 October 2009
Rating:

"Just Be Yourself"

Disney Studios say they have saved over $30 Million by grabbing guy off the street to play the role of "Ordinary Joe".

written by Bureau, 09 October 2009
Rating:

Kits Being Recalled

Little Mr. Opthamologist Kits being recalled before "Somebody gets an eye put out!".

written by Bureau, 09 October 2009
Rating:

I Don't Deserve This!

I don't deserve this': Obama stunned as he is awarded Nobel Peace Prize after less than nine months in office, but it would be rude not to take it. Isn't it here yet?"

written by Bureau, 09 October 2009
Rating:

He'll Be Fine

Western Kentucky 89-year-old fights with family over being placed in nursing home. "As long as I can remember to eat and..and.."
"Shit?"
"Yeah, as long as I can eat shit, I'll be OK!"

written by Bureau, 09 October 2009
Rating:

Holes In Hotel Security Spotted

ESPN video case shows holes in hotel security. "I didn't even realize I had been shot", states guard.

written by Bureau, 09 October 2009
Rating:

Calif. Doc Arrested

California doc who hailed herbal cancer cure arrested. "Even if it does cure cancer, you can't use that voodoo stuff", says FDA.

written by Bureau, 09 October 2009
Rating:

Citrus Farmers Worried

California citrus farmers fear tree-killing disease, the Fruit Tree Flu. "Worse than the Pine Flu in the Smoky Mountains", say experts.

written by Bureau, 09 October 2009
Rating:

Another Obama Peace Prize?

President Obama scheduled to recieve second Noble Peace Prize next month for pardoning White House turkey, Joe Biden.

written by Bureau, 09 October 2009
Rating:

Trying Everything

Obama, Democrats court women on health overhaul by sending flowers, nice cards, candy, threats.

written by Bureau, 09 October 2009
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Flu Shots Given Through Billfold

Nancy Pelosi wants bill passed that places $10 tax on every swine flu shot.

written by Bureau, 09 October 2009
Rating:

Economy Must Come First

US, other nations stop counting pandemic flu cases after citizens reportedly staying in their homes, afraid to go shopping.

written by Bureau, 09 October 2009
Rating:

New Olympic Sports

Golf, rugby accepted as Olympic sports. Dwarf bowling still being considered!

written by Bureau, 09 October 2009
Rating:

No Word From Ahdminejad

Suicide bomber uses wrong bomb, blows Tehran, Iran off the world map!

written by Bureau, 09 October 2009
Rating:

No Water Yet

NASA probe hits moon south pole looking for water, instead hits oil gusher. Shell, Exxon-Mobile immediately building their own rockets.

written by Bureau, 09 October 2009
Rating:

White House Singles Out American Public As Problem

Calling 'Em Out: The White House Takes on the Press, Joe Wilson, the American people! "We know what's best for you so shut your yap", says press secretary.

written by Bureau, 09 October 2009
Rating:

Possible Record-Holder

ND woman's 7-foot-long dog could be record holder, but tends to snap the old vinyls in his massive jaws.

written by Bureau, 09 October 2009
Rating:

Many Nobel Peace Winners

President Barack Obama wins Nobel Peace Prize. Also Neville Chamberlain, David Carradine's "Grasshopper role" and the Colt single-action handgun.

written by Bureau, 09 October 2009
Rating:

Obama's Peace Prize

President Obama wins the Nobel peace prize apparently for being able to keep peace in the White House with Michelle's mother living there.

written by Bureau, 09 October 2009
Rating:

No Moon Shine Tonight!

NASA has inadvertently "popped the moon" after crashing craft into the air filled natural satallite!

written by iscrivener, 09 October 2009
Rating:

World News Goes Spoof!

US President Barack Obama has been awarded the Nobel Prize for Peace!

written by iscrivener, 09 October 2009
Rating:

More News from the Food Police

The Food police are upset that certain vegetables and berries contain natural contaminants. Never mind that people have been eating this produce for Millennia! More government regulation is desired!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 09 October 2009
Rating:

Environmental Protection Agency to Move to Tonga

President Obama announced today that the EPA will relocate to Tonga. The Tongan Ambassador handed Secretary of State Clinton a note saying that a state of war exists between Tonga and the USA!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 09 October 2009
Rating:

Tort Reform?

If you or a loved one has been hit by a Gnu during a snowstorm on February 29th call the law offices of WTF Inc for a no cost consultation. You may be entitled to compensation and us a fat fee!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 09 October 2009
Rating:

A Hidden Tax

House Speaker Pelosi proposes a soiled underwear tax to pay for health care reform. Underwear manufacturers and environmentalists are ecstatic, but no one has signed up for the "Underwear Police."

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 09 October 2009
Rating:

Health Care Costs

My doctor told me to take two aspirins, go to bed and call him in the morning. It cost me $829 billion, but not to worry my health insurance will pay for it!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 09 October 2009
Rating:

Biden Plan

President Obama announced that VP Biden will take up residence in former VP Cheney's secret hideaway and then added "forget-about-it!"

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 09 October 2009
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