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Rating:

Mandy Offered F1 Drive

Following Hot on the news that Lord Mandelson helped convince Honda to continue to support Brawn for the 2009 season; Mandy offered F1 drive with Brawn in 2010 F1 Season

written by Tcoah, 19 October 2009
Rating:

Arnold Schwarzenegger discovers birth certificate

In the same hospital where President Obama was born freeing the way for Arnold Schwarzenegger to run agains Obama in 2012

written by Tcoah, 19 October 2009
Rating:

No more cash for home furnishings, MPs told

No more four poster beds for Jenny Willot, Lib-Dem MP for Cardiff Central.

written by Tcoah, 19 October 2009
Rating:

Iran sees Yellow!

Iran Demands 75% of all World's Uranium Yellow Cake

written by Tcoah, 19 October 2009
Rating:

Tony Romo pleases Dallas Fans by not throwing any interceptions Sunday

Of course, it was the Cowboys bye week, but you never know with Romo.

written by Jalapenoman, 19 October 2009
Rating:

Negative Reinforcement A Positive Winner

In a 1.7 million dollar study Psychologist conclude, positive reinforcement and adoration, as ego inflating as it is, doesn't work as well as a 20,000 volt shock collar.

written by Thermophyle, 19 October 2009
Rating:

Jesus Budda is still locked in, hopes of survival, zero!

Jesus Budda is still locked away behind his barricades, Spoof writers have attempted every trick in the "Doggies" book, Jaggedone even threw him a choccy "biccy" but he just wagged his tail sadly!

written by Jaggedone, 19 October 2009
Rating:

English Thrown Out As Language of United States

Obama changes official language to Ebonics. Grades for D.C. area students improve dramatically over night. Former Acorn workers employed to translate the Constitution into the new language.

written by Thermophyle, 19 October 2009
Rating:

Sotomayor, Movin On Up

New Supreme Court Judge Sotomayor found to not be Latino. She admits to the hoax but found to be Obama's half sister born in Kenya.

written by Thermophyle, 19 October 2009
Rating:

Nancy Pelosi Lights One Up

Nancy Pelosi demands lawmakers include medical marijuana in health care bill. California farmers celebrate the news into the night at beaches all over the state.

written by Thermophyle, 19 October 2009
Rating:

Acorn Revitilized by Offering Mangement Training

Michigan Governor sends all state employees to Acorn for management training seminars.

written by Thermophyle, 19 October 2009
Rating:

Balloon Boy Feels Let Down By Parents

The boy at the center of the balloon fraud scandal says that he feels let down and by his parents.

written by Bunsen Burner, 19 October 2009
Rating:

Record Suicude Rate Obama Takes Credit

Record suicide rate due to poor economy. Business is busting at the seams in Funeral homes all over America. Obama credits his stimulus plan.

written by Thermophyle, 19 October 2009
Rating:

Rising Seas - Not Caused by Global Warming

Traced Back to Gordon Brown who 'took a dump' as his plane flew over the Atlantic.

written by Tcoah, 19 October 2009
Rating:

Definition of "Spinning Top"

Prime Minister Gordon Brown checking on the Deputy Prime Minister anchoring for his job.

written by Tcoah, 19 October 2009
Rating:

Rudolph Retires

Rudolph, surprisingly appearing in public without his trademark nose, announces his retirement after winning 'a significant sum' on the Sunderland Liverpool game this weekend.

written by RedGBarn, 19 October 2009
Rating:

Surprise, surprise Afghani election was a "SOAP"

newly-elected Afghani President Karzai is a puppet, reasons: The election was masterminded by the US, starred Neo, doubled by Keanu Reeves and was called "The Kabul Matrix v Kill Uncle Sam"

written by Jaggedone, 19 October 2009
Rating:

The UK is sinking, drowning in it's ignorance

After ignoring all of the warnings, it has been declared official, the UK is sinking and will be renamed the new Atlantis of the North Sea, Captian Nemo promises a visit!

written by Jaggedone, 19 October 2009
Rating:

Pubic hairs from Elvis are auctioned and re-implanted!

A bunch of Elvis's pubic hairs were auctioned and sold for $15.000. The fetish perv buyer has promised to have them reimplanted around his P-ELVIS, the King remains immortal and itchy!

written by Jaggedone, 19 October 2009
Rating:

Sex doesn't sell anything especially tabloid newspapers!

SEX is out, that's official, the Tabloid newspapers and websites are recoiling after a dramatic fall off of sales and hits, reason: Posh, Paris and Britney are not worth WANKING over!

written by Jaggedone, 19 October 2009
Rating:

Have you caught your balloon?

Balloon chasing has suddenly become popular all around the world following the events in Colorado the past few days.Even Arctic Eskimoes are pursuing weather balloons launched thousands of miles away.

written by whatinthe world, 19 October 2009
Rating:

No More Male Through Gateley's Box

There are to be no more deliveries in Stephen Gateley's back door post box due to industrial inaction.

written by Bunsen Burner, 19 October 2009
Rating:

Suicide by Redneck

In a new twist on the old method of "suicide by cop", some down hearted folks are ending their miserable life by walking into a honky tonk and saying that Dale Earnhardt sucked shit.

written by Alexandria177, 19 October 2009
Rating:

This actually is the Matrix

And you are in it, it's just that you aren't as smart as Neo Anderson, nor does the resistance need you. So continue to live your meaningless life, and if we win, we'll try to remember to free you.

written by Alexandria177, 19 October 2009
Rating:

You are right to feel regret about that lost opportunity

The cute girl in English class would have gone out with you if you'd asked, and she'd have gone all the way, too. And she would have been much better for you than the woman you did marry.

written by Alexandria177, 19 October 2009
Rating:

Pee Wee Herman has not been caught masturbating since 1991

Investigators report that this can only mean that he has found a very, very good hiding place for when he does indulge in self-abuse.

written by Alexandria177, 19 October 2009
Rating:

Arnold to run for President in 2012

Speaking from the governor's mansion, Arnold asked, "If some Kenyan can be President, then why can't I?" Orly Taitz commented, "At least he's honest."

written by Alexandria177, 19 October 2009
Rating:

Man smokes but avoids lung cancer

A man has avoided lung cancer by taking the extra time to sort through, and only buy, the packs of cigarettes that say pregnant women shouldn't smoke. He avoids packs that say they cause lung cancer.

written by Alexandria177, 19 October 2009
Rating:

Vandalism at Nudist Colony

It was reported that vandals drilled holes in the fences of a local nudist colony last night. Police are looking into it.

written by Alexandria177, 19 October 2009
Rating:

Lewis and Jenson X Factor Sensations

Lewis Hamilton and Jenson Button are reputed to be next X Factor sensation. The talented duo will be singing their new smash hit. 'A Flash in the Pan'.
David Coulthard said to be green envy.

written by nigmuncher, 19 October 2009
Rating:

Obama amazed that he could triple America's deficit

Contemplating the amazing feat of growing America's deficit to almost 2 trillion dollars, Obama reflects, "And to think my Kenyan village tribal chief said I'd never amount to anything!"

written by Alexandria177, 19 October 2009
Rating:

Hamilton wants 2010 crown

Lewis Hamilton says, "Well done, Jenson, but it's mine in 2010."

Yeah, right!

written by nigmuncher, 19 October 2009
Rating:

Jenson in arrogance accusations

Jenson Button given Jeremy Clarkson award for arrogance after 3 hour parc ferme donut marathon

written by nigmuncher, 19 October 2009
Rating:

People Warned Dihydrogen Monoxide is Deadly

Media begins new scaremongering tactics over drowning.

written by Tcoah, 19 October 2009
Rating:

"4, 8, 15, 16, 23, & 42"

Type them out at computer terminal SEQ ID CODE rhino_backdoor and "Bob's Your Uncle" - you get three wishes.

written by Tcoah, 19 October 2009
Rating:

Interview with an After Dinner Speaker

"I speak a lot, after dinner."

written by Tcoah, 19 October 2009
Rating:

CERN Creates Green-Hole

By compressing a green pea into the size of a single atom CERN makes green-hole rip in the space-time continuum.

written by Tcoah, 19 October 2009
Rating:

President's Brain Leans to the Left

Positive proof that the President's Brain leans to the left was provided by an MRI scan which showed the Presidents left brain lobe is 2kg heavier than his right brain lobe.

written by Tcoah, 19 October 2009
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