Order by:
Rating:

One bright spark

Scientific farmer, Norbert 'Lecky' Tonkin may have solved the UK's depleting energy sources. He planted several lightbulbs in spring, fed them elctro-compost and now has an orchard of lanterns.

written by Nate John Won, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Tantric phone call

A lady from Hull got herself into a tangle today by redialing her own number, using a new time-telphone. She proceeded to have a conversation with herself, and was unable to hang up.

written by Nate John Won, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Obama Upset with Pope

Pope referred to Obama as a real Saint walking among us; Obama got visibly upset with the Pope thinking that the Pope would recognize him as real deity.

written by Tcoah, 13 October 2009
Rating:

It's Happened Again

Former national security adviser to Bill Clinton, Samuel "Sandy" Berger, confesses more Clinton national security files have been accidentally smuggled out and burned in his pants.

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Joe Biden Confession

Joe Biden confesses that he doesn't know where we are in Afghanistan. "I was over there in person and I couldn't tell a Shiite from a Sunni", admits VP.

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Now It's Larry Flynt!

Public shocked as publisher Larry Flynt admits to sex scandal. "First Letterman, now Flynt, who can you believe anymore?' asks Joe Public.

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

How Long Was That Study?

Research Scientist says that smoking some good marijuana could stave off Alzheimer's big old pink and blue rabbit holes in the air.

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Letterman Ratings Back Down

David Letterman, whose ratings are back down this week, claims that he once ate an endangered species of frog legs after slipping waiter an extra $25.

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

NEVER to be found!

A Police Witness Protection Program has come up with a method for making certain that people entering the program are NEVER found by anyone. They just change the witness's name to G.Spot

written by IN SEINE, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Alliens Taking Away Freedoms

Rush Limbaugh says that illegal aliens are taking away our freedoms, like our freedom to pick tomatoes, lettuce.

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Had To Eat My Weigh Out!

Kirsty Alley says she was doing great with the Jenny Craig Diet until she fell into that doughnut hole!

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

"Omaha 8:05"

Jacque Cousteau III says that whales apparently sing to cover sonar waves from submarines. "Usually an old Moby Grape psychedelic number," claims Jacque.

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

New York Stories

Kind stranger brings in starving organ grinder and his last monkey to soup kitchen.

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

"It's The Toadrooms!"

Cub Scout leader gets his mushrooms confused as search party finds him and whole group 25-feet off the ground, shitting off tree limbs.

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Not McCain, Surely

Middle Wing Talk Radio Host Sean Franken accuses Senator John McCain of pulling a Nancy Pelosi on the American people.

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Gold, Sam Up Again

Gold, old guy singing on the first bench on the right in Washington Square, hit record highs!

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Correction: Obama prize

Yesterday we reported Barack Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace prize. Note that it should have read: Barack Obama has been awarded Ma Belle Pizzeria's Pizza Prize for one lucky caller.

written by Laserwolf, 13 October 2009
Rating:

It's About Time

Time Magazine finally puts out issue without Big Obama cover.
This week it has Judge Sotomayer holding up picture of the President.

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Another VP Ignored

A surprised President Obama has Nobel Peace Prize grabbed from his hands by VP Joe Biden, who announces, "I'm still here, people! Ain't doing jack shit, but I'm stilllllll Herrrreee sob!"

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

NBC Peacock On Top!

NBC takes over first place on 10-12PM nightly shot of peacock changing colors, shapes. "Mary Jane has got us back on toke...top", says spokesman.

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Cubs Lose Iraqi Pitcher

Chicago Cubs release outright the Iraqi shoe-hurler because of declaring bankruptcy. "He was too wild anyway", says former pitcher coach.

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Obama Gets Another Award

Barack Obama gets first Presidential Beer Conference Award since Franklin D. Roosevelt received one for "The First Day Prohibition Ended".

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Don't Ax Me Why!

Old book by Lizzie Borden title finally unscrambled from stains: "If I Had Done It, This Is How!"

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Better Not Leave That Out!

Big debate over health care bill leads to heated head-shaking disagreements between some Democrats.

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

"Rainy Night In Georgia"

Still more rains in northern Georgia as officials there say that many dams, cows are at the tipping point.

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Nothing Wrong With Them

FBI announces that giant recall of children's cold medicine in 2007 actually came from Meth Gang.

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Keep Those Ono Records Handy

Study: High pitched noises coming from Yoko Ono on the earth the only thing keeping the big-eared Titanians from attacking!

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Just Change The Name

Big early snow in Oslo, Norway causes committee to take away Al Gore's Nobel Prize and give it to Obama.

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Footprints Explained

Giant Dinosaur footprints discovered last week in France turn out to be from recent visit of Kirsty Alley.

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Taliban Has Too Many Chiefs

CIA says that the Taliban leadership is being questioned as heads roll.

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Reaching Across The Firing Range

Democrats, Republicans finally agree on no hand guns, grenades, etc. allowed in congress during votes on health care.

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Republicans Wish for Poor to Die

Republican lawmakers all agreed today that it would be best if all the poor, uninsured people in the U.S. simply died and left health care for those who can afford it.

written by NickFun, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Ex-President Bush Seeks New Friends

Former President George W Bush announced today that he would like some new friends and will be accepting applications. "Everyone hates me!" Bush lamented.

written by NickFun, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Obama's 'Cure' for Unemployment: Shoot the Bosses

When asked about Obama's new policy White House spokesperson replied: "I think the President has figured out that if you shoot the bosses, there will be no one left to fire the workers."

written by Tcoah, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Senator Baucus Pities Fools

Finance Committee Chairman Sen. Max "BA" Baucus, D-Mont "Pities the fools" who will not support his Health Care reform bill scheduled to be voted on this Tuesday.

written by Ropa Doberperson, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Obama Walking Funny

President Obama was checked out at a hospital this morning after walking funny when he woke up. However, a specialist determined that his walking problem resulted from all the ass-kissing of late.

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Prison Governor leaves kids in Polanski's cell.

When asked why he would do that, the Governor replied: "Well, at least I know where they are."

written by Tcoah, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Number One Holiday Gift

Economists predict that this year's number one recession Holiday gift? The fruitcake returned to you from last year.

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

"What Do WE Smoke?"

Raul Castro still pissed at brother, Fidel, after a weak Fidel was taken for over 10,000 most-expensive by Bernie Madoff.

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Hannity On Peace Prize

Sean Hannity says he knows exactly how Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize. "Have you heard those health care speeches lately? Put you right into a peaceful sleep."

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Biden Out From Underfoot!

President Obama has announced that he is sending Vice President Joe Biden on a month-long tour of the North & South Poles to see how back global warming has become.

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Brown requests that he be shot

United Kingdom PM Gordon Brown today revealed that he has no idea how to run the country and says if he were a horse the people should shoot him. Stig Brierly of Bolton says he will oblige the PM.

written by whatinthe world, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Help For Puss Syndrome

Study of mice with medication and meditation shows that they could care less if the cat ate them. Should help those humans in therapy for the fear of a cat eating them.

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Scanners Boost Airline's Income

New Airport Nude scanners to offer "Best 100 Views" magazine at $5 each to passengers, free to frequent fliers.

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Physicist Disappears!

Physicist working on Large Hadron Collider arrested for Al Qaeda links suddenly disappears into black hole!

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Higher Voter Support For Legalized Pot

Legalization of marijuana gains support in California. Legalization of licking the backs of jumping frogs gains support in Calaveras County.

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

New Family Report

Only six in ten children share a home with both parents. However, most families do not have ten children.


written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Postal Strike Oct. 22

National postal strike set for October 22 if Royal Mail rejects last-ditch union peace offer. "Better mail those Christmas cards today."


written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

"Mom Says The Answer Is 754!"

School becomes first to lift classroom ban on mobile phones and MP3 players as every room sounds like a ring tone band practice.

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Prices Are Down

Inflation slumps to lowest rate for five years. Experts credit nobody purchasing anything.

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Cigarette Machines Disappear

MPs vote to ban cigarette machines and bar display of tobacco in shops. Black Market spokesperson says it should have been done a long time ago."

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

New Naked Photos

Airport passengers to have 'naked' photos taken by full-body X-ray machine. "Volunteer workers will save Airports millions," says Spokesman.

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Woman Marched Off Plane

Humiliated' businesswoman frog-marched off British Airways flight in row over mobile phone and it's "I Shot The Sheriff" ring tone.

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

More Art Class Violence

School fined as girl loses fingers in art lesson, boy cuts off his own ear.

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Cubbies Bankrupt

Chicago Cubs file Chapter 11 to speed team's sale. Will be given another 100 years to work things out.

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Anka Gets Credit

Paul Anka gets credit for co-writing Jackson single, "Put Your Nose On My Shoulder".

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Grandchildren Can Now Sue

MLK's children settle lawsuit over estate. Plus, it only took a little over 40 years, short by today's judicial decisions.

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Big Shot!

Female athlete sets new shot put record at age 100. Only competitor barely missing big toe.

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Obama Sends 13,000 Troops

Obama approves 13,000 more troops to Afghanistan. General thanks him for his token support. "This, at least, will give us some cooks."

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Not Necessarily Iran

US wants bunker-buster fast, denies Iran is reason. "Could be used to wipe out zombies in Haiti who live underground", says Colonel.

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Obama Deploys 14,000 Troops to Fox News Headquarters

After consulting with his newly elected Army Chief of Staff, Will.i.am, President Barack Obama ordered an additional 14,000 troops to storm Fox New's Headquarters in NYC.

written by Ropa Doberperson, 13 October 2009
Rating:

A blind delivery

The A-1 delivery company apologised today after 55 blind dogs were delivered to an equal number of bemused tour guides.

written by Nate John Won, 13 October 2009
Rating:

On yer bike!

Several employees at the UK Go-bike cycle company are to
grow handlebar moustaches, to promote cycling. One or two will also wear bell-bottoms, pumps and Panier shorts.

written by Nate John Won, 13 October 2009
Rating:

From the dreams of Androids

The first batch of electric sheep were released today. West Country farmers hope to use the wire wool produced to create scouring pads.

written by Nate John Won, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Dunking stools to be used to test granny for cancer

She drowns, she does not have cancer.
She survives, test her again to make sure.
Repeat. It's in the new health plan.

written by Aspartame Boy, 13 October 2009
Rating:

'This ish it!' scream Michael Jackson fans after hearing

'This ish it!', screamed excited Michael Jackson fans, as they stepped in it once again!

written by Aspartame Boy, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Can't Own Players!

Former President Jimmy Carter says Rush Limbaugh trying to buy the St Louis Rams with black players is an act of racism!

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Just Wait Until I Do Something!

The Obamas go out to celebrate his first big success since becoming President: Winning the Nobel Peace Prize!

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Economy Conference Not Too Bad

Some good news, this year's G-8 conference on the economy only cost $10 million, not counting police overtime work with protesters.

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Germans think themselves to be German

In a recent survey, 65% of Germans considered themselves "very German", with only 18% saying they were "a bit German". The rest refused to answer the question as it was not worded efficiently enough.

written by MonkeyInTheBath, 13 October 2009
Rating:

This Year: Socks For Everybody!

Poll says that most seen signs being seen in malls this year is "Let's put the greed back into Christmas!"

written by Bureau, 13 October 2009
Rating:

Penis usage up in the UK

British men now lead Europe in penis usage, with a utilisation rate of 58%, greater than any other EU country.

written by MonkeyInTheBath, 13 October 2009
« Sep 2009 October 2009 Nov 2009 »
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
 
1st
65
2nd
14
3rd
12
4th
20
5th
43
6th
72
7th
51
8th
79
9th
35
10th
54
11th
64
12th
69
13th
72
14th
70
15th
71
16th
38
17th
21
18th
40
19th
38
20th
22
21st
31
22nd
58
23rd
25
24th
21
25th
14
26th
24
27th
31
28th
38
29th
127
30th
91
31st
54
 

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 multiplied by 5?

5 17 10 6


83 readers are online right now!

Go to top