Order by:
Rating:

Still The Same!- Bob Seger

Harassed by the paparazzi, Susan Boyle dons Groucho Marx disguise but nose, eyebrows and mustache show through.

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Limbaugh Invited To Come Listen

New York University has invited Rush Limbaugh to come before their student body, shut his yap and listen to the wisdom of Ahmadinejad!

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Ruth Speaks Up

Ruth Madoff finally breaks her silence, wind: Bernie has changed quite a bit while in prison. (poot!)

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Madoff Learning While In Prison!

Bernie Madoff says that since he has been in prison, "The lard has given me a hole new outlook on life and I can sympathize with the poor people that are on the bottom!"

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

White House Chatter

Michelle's mother says Obama takes work to bed with him. "I've heard him going over that "stimulus Package" with my daughter 2-3 nights a week."

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

I Thought So!

After being questioned about the reason Obama received the Nobel Peace Prize all weekend, spokesman finally admits, "It was the way he got that professor and cop together."

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Brown Sick Of Yobs!

British Prime Minister Gordon Brown says that since he has been Britain's leader, he's became sick to death of hearing yobs yelling, "Brown is a hole in the arse", the little shits.

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Walsh admits being knob jockey

Pervert Louis Walsh today admitted his hormones had skewed his thinking on the X Factor, I had to keep John and Edward he wheezed, otherwise there wouldn't have been enough cocks in the competition !

written by Ulver, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Osama Gone?

News out of the caves of Afghanistan/Pakistan is that Osama Bin Laden may have died from the goat flu. Legless sheik says he tried to warn him.

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Obama To Return Award?

News today is that Barack Obama may have to return his Nobel Peace Prize after the discovery that Michelle's ancesters once owned a slave.

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Frank: March Misses Mark

Barney Frank says DC gay rights march misses mark. Also, Jim, Ronnie, Big Roy and the Pudd Twins.

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Chinese Dissidents Let Down

Chinese dissidents say President Obama has let them down. Take his Nobel Prize and place it where the sun don't shine.

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Polanski Feels Depressed

Director Polanski feels depressed in jail; Lawyer worried about state of mind, penis.

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

The Happy Organ

Study proves that Dave "Baby" Cortez was not a baby when he had the hit song, "The Happy Organ". Actually, he was a 56-year-old flasher.

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

MI5 Warns Cellphone Users

Guy running away from attacker mistakenly dials 666 on his phone and both disappear in a cloud of brimstone!

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

At Least He Flied Happy

Before Cheyenne nursing home officials can confiscate them, son of chief slips dying father some peyote buttons. Guards knocked down as old chief flies out room's opened window.

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Lad Returned To Mother Safely

Kid who ran away from Chicago Grade School caught and returned home. He has told police and his mother that the teacher was going to give a pop quiz and he didn't know where or who his pop was.

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Don't Even Have To Ask!

New titles given to Red/Blue states for. Now, Limbaugh Urinal Cake, Toilet Paper/ Pelosi Urinal Cake, Toilet Paper States.

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

FBI Reports Lots Of Chatter In Central Park.

Lady squirrel is told by her husband that he's sick and tired of going out busting his nuts every day. Gets an earful about being tied to this ***** tree all day!

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Whodunnit?

A young man returned from a dance at a coastal resort. He was sporting a huge black eye. When asked if he had run into a door, he replied, the beauty of the place had struck him.

written by IN SEINE, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Still Think They Were Right

All the major U.S. polls still say the presidential race would have been decided by the undecided voters, had they bothered to vote.

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Man Discovers Truth about David Cameron... And Gordon Brown

A man walking through a Notting Hill Cemetery found on a gravestone here lies David Cameron. On the next row he found another stone which read here lies Gordon Brown.

written by IN SEINE, 11 October 2009
Rating:

"Smile, Though Your Heart Is Breaking"

South Korean Scientist Ben Wah Balls announced this morning that they have cloned the world's first "happy all the time" female.

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Newsagents warn Labour Party

Newsagents threaten to boycott Labour at the next general election if laws ban them from openly displaying cigarettes. However, the ugly truth is that the Conservative party want to do the same.

written by IN SEINE, 11 October 2009
Rating:

ACORN Going For Nuts

ACORN now accused of signing up people from mental hospitals to vote as group gets nuttier by the day.

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

"How Does It Feel?"-Dylan

In an updated report from Forbes Magazines "500 Richest Americans" they have lost nearly 125 billion over the past year. "Now they'll know how we lesser millionaires have to live", say #1098

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Some Runways Temperarily Closed

Chicago's O'Hare Airport reports first case of luggage arriving just before plane lands. Will offer full refunds. Big rummage sale later in the week.

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Weathermen Back To Stone age

Weather Channel to go back to rock after missing hurricane season again. Rock wet: Rain, Hot: Sunny, Cold: Lower Temps, Gone: Tornado, White: Birds.

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Cowboys Over Chiefs

Dallas Cowboys defeat Kansas City Chiefs in overtime after official become first ever to wear out flag, ending up throwing his shoe on penalties.

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Tonight On The Gay Channel

Tonight on the Gay Channel, Bob and Larry are on stakeout when Larry's wife calls to say she's leaving him for Margaret, on "The Straights Of San Francisco".

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

The View From Up Here

Santa and Mrs Claus, elves spotted by the Hubble Telescope, throwing frisbee to reindeer, sun bathing.

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Mistake, But We'll Have To Live With It!

Voters on Obama receiving the Nobel Peace Prize say they thought presenter said "Pissed" prize. He's certainly looked pissed lately over not being able to pass that health care bill", states one.

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Has To Come And Get It!

Republicans stopped in mid-Criticism as Sarah Palin wins Nobel Peace Prize For Best Book Reading While Getting A Tan!

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Sounds Like A Fun Group

Bob Dole announces that Bob Dole may run for president in 2012 as an independent, organizes the Full-Erection Bull Moose Party!

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Choirmaster Changes Children's Holiday Song

Children's choir leader, after hearing that Obama didn't want Christian items on the National Christmas Tree, changes words for their visit to White House to "The First Nobel".

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Obama's First Reaction

Michelle's mother says that President Obama's first words after finding out he had won the Nobel Peace Prize was: "Whatever they're drinking, I want some of that for the beer conferences."

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Hut Wins Piece Prize

Pizza Hut's new Chicago-style pizza with everything on it wins the Nobel Piece Prize for Tastefulness.

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Still Another Proof

Protester at Obama speech says Obama is not American. "Did you notice that when he threw out the first pitch on opening day, he first started to toss it underhand? No, he was not born here!"

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

What An Improvement!

New aluminum siding on old run down shack makes salesman's clothes look brand new!

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Massive Church Growth As Councils Ban Singing

Three London councils think it is trendy to ban singing in a Christian churches in case it offends Muslims. However, the Quaker church has seen a 400% increase in their congregations in recent months.

written by IN SEINE, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Halo Appears over Moscow -- Pope Annoyed

As a Halo emerged from the clouds over Moscow, the Russian Orthodox church claim that God is pleased with them. Hence the sign. The Pope, however, claims that it is a "common atmospheric phenomena".

written by IN SEINE, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Gay Boyzone singer "Stepehen GAYtely" dies in Mallorca, the chains around his neck were too tight!

A Gay ex-Boyzone singer is dead! Found in a Mallorcan hotel with chains around his neck, bonded, gagged and handcuffed, the Spanish police are suspecting, kinky, Gay Sex as the reason, never!!!

written by Jaggedone, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Abandoned space clown floating in orbit, ACHTUNG a Biohazard!

Billionaire space clown, Guy Laliberte, has been booted out of the ISS, fellow astronauts thought he certainly wasn't funny, passing UFO's and aliens neither!

written by Jaggedone, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Some Sexy Cartoons

Hot Marge Simpson makes the cover of Playboy. Popeye's before/after spinach makes it to three-page centerfold.

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Exactly Who Is Doing Census?

Teachers' fury over Big Brother census that even asks them what car they drive, their mother's maiden name.

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Rolling Strikes Near

Unions plan ten days of rolling strikes that could leave Royal Mail facing backlog of 100m letters. Customers say they will mail two copies of everything.


written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Hospital Denies Performing Surgery

Grandmother, 72, has leg amputated after hospital wrongly diagnoses cancer in arm.

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Liquid Allowed Aboard

EU to end airline ban on liquids in carry-on bags. "A little shot of whiskey can help while waiting two hours for take off", states one stewardess.

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Maine Foliage Out!

Best Maine foliage is in the mountains, especially in the trees in the mountains, according to report.

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Civil War Dead Honored

Unknown Civil War soldier reburied in Tennessee. Will be reburied next in Virginia in 2015 as a memorial to those lost in the war.

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Joint Drill Cancelled

Israel: Turkey calls off joint air force drill after becoming afraid that they would get too high.

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

We're All Irish!

IRA splinter group to renounce violence in Ireland after friendly pastor removes the splinter.

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

The Great Recession?

The Great Recession: The numbahs tell da story, says hip CPA, Leonard Abacus.

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Professor Warned School Officials

A UCLA professor said he told a university administrator 10 months ago of his concerns about the mental health of a student who attacked another student last week, "after he rubbed glue on my head."

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Turks, Armenians Still Talking

Turkey: Armenia must withdraw from Nagorno-Karabakh. Armenia: Turks must withdraw from Armangroth-Heebie Jeebi. "We can make up place names also."

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Mayan Not Happen

2012 isn't the end of the world, Mayans insist. "I doubt if we'll make it that long", stated one leader.

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Terrorist Still A Threat

Clinton: Terrorists are an increasing threat to Pakistan, Afghanistan, Iraq, America,....themselves, I guess. I still remember that Bosnian thing.

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Gays Still Upset with Obama

Gays and lesbians question Obama 'don't ask, don't tail' pledge at his speech Saturday night. "Why doesn't he question Iran on WHY 'there are no gays' there?"

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Radio Station Screws Up

Radio station's Two-For-Tuesday ruined when someone plays "They're Coming To Take Me Away" by Napoleon XIV, one-hit wonder!

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Martha Stewart Finally Breaks

A tearful Martha Stewart finally broke down on Oprah Friday and stated that she was actually served red wine with her fish while she was in prison.

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Hope For Swine Flu

In Chicago, doctors say that the sudden flareup of Olympic fever died out even quicker than it began.

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Tough Times Everywhere

929 gallons of moonshine found in NC mountains...smallest amount since 1810.

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Earliest Snow In Chi-town?

Snow on Sunday! Would be earliest measurable in Chicago. Al Gore on 24-hour suicide watch.

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
Rating:

Castro Approves Nobel Prize Winner

Fidel Castro calls President Obama's Nobel Prize "positive measure, orange and green sandwiches."

written by Bureau, 11 October 2009
« Sep 2009 October 2009 Nov 2009 »
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65
2nd
14
3rd
12
4th
20
5th
43
6th
72
7th
51
8th
79
9th
35
10th
54
11th
64
12th
69
13th
72
14th
70
15th
71
16th
38
17th
21
18th
40
19th
38
20th
22
21st
31
22nd
58
23rd
25
24th
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30th
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31st
54
 

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