Order by:
Rating:

China hits US with pipes!

In a strange combination of protectionism, communism, and karate, the Chinese will hit the US with pipes. More at 7.

written by Aspartame Boy, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Obama to address unemployment with job tax

Work will the new bad, as it will be taxed and discouraged. Details in follow up report.

written by Aspartame Boy, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Scientists create strange particle - reality changes

Strange property of particles is spreading in entire Earth. History is changing. This was already reported prior to it happening here on TheSpoof.com.

written by Aspartame Boy, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Michael Jackson clones growing up in South America

They are up to no good there and further reports indicate American will soon live in fear of them.

written by Aspartame Boy, 14 November 2009
Rating:

NSA creates decoding algorithm that works on any message

The only problem is, it works even more purely random number sequences.

written by Aspartame Boy, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Scheme 'can cut extra emissions' - with explosives

You just blow up the equipment that is causing the emissions.

written by Aspartame Boy, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Obamba to rename war department 'Honor Killing' department

This is expected to increase tolerance in the military for all belief systems.

written by Aspartame Boy, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Pay cuts could drive out talent from bailed out too big to fails

The concern is that if they change companies, these bad executives could spread the cancer of toxic assets.

written by Aspartame Boy, 14 November 2009
Rating:

"Looks Like He's Ejaculated!"

Student at George Washington University found passed out on floor after coming into dorm from class and finding a case of beer, a box of cheetos and a package of Doctor Fongs Hangover Powders.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Obama to retire this year taking job as 'world"s most interesting man'

The pay is bettor, and he gets a gaggle of ladies to fawn over him while he drinks beer on TV.

written by Aspartame Boy, 14 November 2009
Rating:

US trade gap shockingly large in Semptember

Reason found by M.I.T. scientists: defective product returns increased.

written by Aspartame Boy, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Sugar water drinks targeted by FDA

Since aspartame is the most tested sweetener, and sugar has no test data from industry, sugar water drinks will be banned in favor of the well tested aspartame drinks.

written by Aspartame Boy, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Prison health-care costs rise as prison doctors grow older and sicker

To save costs, inmates are being trained to be doctors. But too many want to be proctologists.

written by Aspartame Boy, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Russian human-kebab diner gets complaints of 'bad meat'

But now the demand for human flesh pickled with aspartame is growing on the Russian front. Bums beware!

written by Aspartame Boy, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Talk Show Teams

Rush Limbaugh turned away from purchasing a football team but Sean Hannity is now after the Baltimore Ravin' Maniacs.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

President Orders Investigation

President calls for investigation into organized crime into sports as 100 meter race has piano wire across the finish line.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Vick Having Problems

Michael Vick says he's having a hard time returning to football as it's very hard to run with police ankle bracelets.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Playboy Viewership Up

Playboy Magazine says it's readership is up 10% this year, jumping from 500,000 to 550,000. Editor credits removing all written articles, shrinking cartoons.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

"Thrown Shoes Don't Baoher Me"

President Bush says it never bothered him when Iraqi threw his shoes. "I was gelin', myself" says ex-president.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Hacking Power Grid

U.S. government say they fear that spies have already hacked into our power grid as TV sets all showing Gilligan's Island for the last twelve hours. TV sets running around the room.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

On $200,000 Home, $125 per month.

Fed Chairman recommends that American homeowners to refinance homes, perhaps over a 200-year, five generation period, while rates are really low. "But be sure house will last."

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Wouldn't Take Much

The captain of a US ship taken hostage by Somali pirates has been freed by the US navy. How can hijacks be prevented? "One little airplane drop" say former Sec Of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Dirty Santa

Early Santa in mall hit by lady with umbrella at a North Carolina mall and told to go take his 'Ho Ho Ho! back to his seat before she opened the umbrella up his ass.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Legal Pot In California

Labels on new legal medical marihuana in California say "side effects include staring at your hands and giggling for hours."

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Bush Family Cleared Out

When asked if the Bush family had left anything behind when they left the White House, as several were left & missing after the Clintons, President Obama
stated, "No, just a bunch of skeletons."

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Hillary A Little Tired

When asked about any news of peace in the Mideast, a tired Secretary of State Clinton stated, "No cahnce in He..I mean, we're still in the discussion phase."

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Alien Threat False

Police in Little Rock, Arkansas say "Alien Threat" over as they found guy sleep-walking with unplugged CPAP for breathing right while asleep.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

"Nuther Award"

President Obama nominated for Environmental Award after cutting sky pollution by 50%, after factories close.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

US Government Uneasy

U.S. Government uneasy as FBI reports that American Patriots are digging cleverly concealed spider holes everywhere.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Check My Hideout If You Want!

Patriot group against Obama & Liberal Congress say they have no idea where all those stolen U.S. Patriot Missiles went.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Libs At It Again

President Obama, Nancy Pelosi move to make handgun machines illegal at Texas motels, schools.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

The Extra Testicle

Man arrested in Virginia bookstore Sci-Fi section escorted out by police officer still yelling, "I tell you, having three balls DOES mean I am an alien. Won't you people even look?"

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

That's Our "Poogie"

Whole town of Friendstown, Tennessee turns out to welcome hometown star Diane "Poogie" Hatfield after her appearance on nationwide television being arrested for making and selling meth.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Obama's Due Vacation

Barack & Michelle Obama plan vacation soon where they can relax and spend a few days just enjoying thinking about the health care bill.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Middle Class Desperate To Sell Homes, Trading

Record number of middle classes desperate to sell homes are now making large scale trades for houseboats. "At least here, we can more easily float a loan", stated one family.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

No Early Birds For McCain

Senator John McCain denies that he often takes advantage of early bird specials. "I usually stick with fish and an occasional chopped steak."

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Obama Wise-Cracking

President Obama was asked today by a reporter why he walked around with his nose in the air. "So I can see anyone throwing shoes!" which brought tremendous laughter & nomination for Comedy Award.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Viking Line Holding, Themselves

Brett Favre: "The whole offensive line here in Minnesota are doing a lot better since we had them castrated."

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

"You Were All Over The Road"

Convertible drivers say they are getting high off the fumes of cars that run on gasohol. Fined anyway.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Nixon, Johnson Were Right

Many Vietnamese have taken up American games from troops that were there over ten years. So Johnson & Nixon were right about the "Domino Effect" after all.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Hacky's Sacked

A major US company has fired computer hackers who were supposed to hack business rivals but hacked their own company computers & sold info to competitors.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

NW Airlines Shows Profit, Ingenuity

Northwest Airlines report a good profit in the third quarter for a change as new curtained off "Join The Mile High Club" a big hit on airplanes.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Officer Makes Discovery

Policeman calls in after watching men going in and out of trailer all day long in Dexter, Alabama. "I was by a vent, chief, and something smelled fishy about the hole thing."

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Officials Say Something Went Wrong

Three people died at a Kissimmee, Florida Amusement Park Friday when something went "reeeeechhh, Bom! Chukka chukka, reeeeeeech! Boom!" throwing them from their seat.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

No Joyriding In Park

Joyrider told to stop while in the woods at Yosemite Park. Rangers tell them, "Sir, you and Joy will have to go back to your motel room, although it is invigorating out here, isn't it?

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

West: Sounds Kinda Camp To Me

Actor Adam West stated yesterday that he would not appear in any of the Twilight series unless he got to drive the Batmobile, even if they ask. And, No, he hasn't seen or read the series.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Freud's Widow Speaks Out

The widow of Sigmund Freud's grandson, Sir Clement Freud says that her husband's death had nothing to do with sex.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Congo Wants Obama Also

The nation of Kenya has told President Obama that when he finishes his term as President of the US, he can come there and be their president. The Congo complains about undue influence of 125 cousins.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Old Diets Return

Once popular diets making a return as people return to diet candies and tapeworms in desperate fight against obesity.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

What Was I Thinking? What Was I Drinking?

A Chicago woman was hospitalized with a tattoo mustache & chin whiskers on her face she received while drunk and tried to remove them with sandpaper after she got home.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Health Timebomb Explodes

Health timebomb hits baby boomers: Over-60s suffer more illnesses caused by bad diet, bad diet advice!

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Worst Wind We've Seen

Worst storm of the year batters Britain with 80mph gales, stubborn really dense fog.


written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Brits Accused Of Spotted Dick Boarding

Was there a British Abu Ghraib? Some UK soldiers accused of torturing Iraqi civilians, forcing them to eat Spotted Dick.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

"But I'm Crazy, You See"

'Disabled' civil servant who claimed £33,000 benefits is exposed as golf champion, third place winner in Boston Marathon, chosen for 2012 Olympic Games.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

We Can Eat More

'You can eat an extra cheeseburger a day without gaining weight', say diet experts. "Of course, we were wrong 20 years ago & could be now."


written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Gardening News

Cambodian garden centre ordered to remove it's new range of 'Pol' pot plants.

written by Trip Nasti, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Halifax Customers Having Problems

Bank bitch hits Halifax customers! I'm sorry, bank HITCH hits Halifax customers.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Freak Accident

Two men died when the car they were traveling in hit a wall. Investigation underway over why the were in dummy test car.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Business News

Business magnate attracts government top brass.

written by Trip Nasti, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Storms In Britain

High winds forecast as storms hit Britons. Also, could be some rain, thunder & lighting.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Debate Battleground May Not Be Safe

The Doha Debates are a unique venture in the Arab world, providing a battleground for conflicting opinions and suicide bomber attacks.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Phone Home

BT's profits soar as E.T continues to reverse the charges.

written by Trip Nasti, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Funeral For Venice

The mock funeral for Venice's 'death' thi weekend has been called off due to flooded downtown area.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Turkey Could Store Uranium

Officials: Turkey 'could store Iran uranium'. Consumers advised to get "everything" out of turkey before baking.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Could Be!

Calorie counts used as the foundation for diet plans and healthy-eating guidance for the past 18 years may be wrong, a tremendously obese reporter suggests.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Cow Dung Power!

Cow dung to power more Dutch homes. "It has lowered the shit out of our energy bills", states one home owner.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

New Italian Arts Museum

Italy opens new contemporary arts museum as new paintings in and out in a day.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Stripper-On-A-Truck Bedded

Strippers-on-a-truck promotion being halted in Las Vegas. Authorities call it, "Too Racy".

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

FDA Condemns Alcoholic Caffeine Drinks

FDA questions safety of alcoholic energy drinks. "All we need are drunks who can't sleep it off!"

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Leading To More Side Effects?

Federal health regulators have found tiny particles of trash, glass, rodent's ass in drugs made by Genzyme, the second time this year the biotechnology company has been cited for contamination issues.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Clinton Having Troubles With Binding

Clinton: No binding climate deal at Denmark talks. "No binding deal anywhere as far as that goes."

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

New Kid's Program A Throwback

WHITE HOUSE NOTEBOOK: What time is it? "It's Howdy Doody Health Care Overhaul Time, Boys & Girls in the Peanut Brain Gallery."

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

We're Still Destroying Old Cold War Missiles.

US sees progress on arms control talks with Russia. Could lead both countries to stop replacing old nuclear weapons as agreed upon, with new & better ones.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Obama Wants Fort Hood Incident Delays

Obama urges Congress to put off Fort Hood probe. Attacker who killed 13 only a misunderstood lonely victim of society.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Mexico Today

Man says he would give right leg to be one armed bandit.

written by Trip Nasti, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Beginning At Lent In Spring

Italy's heavy metal playing monk says he's retiring from the limelight and taking a vow of Muzak.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Also, A Variety Of Liquids

NASA finds water, a whole wine cellar and old 1930's hidden "Speak Easy" on the moon.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Other Players Not Out Of Woods Yet

Woods falls into share of lead in Australia after double bogey on #17, one-shot fart penalty on #18.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Patriots Begin To Act

Republican bashes Dems over health care proposals. "They're going to need medical care before this is over! Viva the revolution!"

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Cheech & Chong At The Official Opening

First U.S. marijuana cafe opens in Portland. Cheech & Chong to be guest mumblers. Do Christmas recording.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

"One Low-Caffeine Mellow Latte, Dude"

First U.S. marijuana cafe opens in Portland. Cafe's may hook up with Starbucks starting in Seattle.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

ITV4

Tonight on, 'At Home with the Beckhams', they visit Zimbabwe's most famous water feature. It should be funny, Victoria falls!

written by Trip Nasti, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Raising Money For College

10 Secrets to Raising More Than $15,000 for College. At least 6 of them legal, moral.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Big NYC Security Risk

The Obama administration plans to put on trial the professed mastermind of the Sept. 11 terror attacks & four alleged accomplices in a lower Manhattan courthouse. May assign 40,000 troops there.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Equal Opportunity To Bail Us Out

Obama seeks equal partnership in Asia. "We need to borow money from Japan & Taiwan and not just China."

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Old woman savegley beaten by 6 year old

She was beaten 12 times in a row at Stratego. Later she referred her grandson as a "Smart arsed little bastard!"

written by Frank Miller, 14 November 2009
Rating:

The Old Ticker Stops

In New York today, stockbroker dies on the stock market floor as the old ticker goes out.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

"The Stars Come Out"

"The Stars Come Out", a new celebrity night as celebrities auction off sperm to raise funds to reduce national debt.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Hard To See Out

NASA Headquarters in Houston say that from now on, astronauts will have to go outside space station to smoke.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Former Planet Pluto Missing

Pluto is missing say astronomers. Believed to be headed toward Sirius, the Dog Star, to circle it.

written by Bureau, 14 November 2009
Rating:

Don't Touch My Pepperoni

Animal rights activists convinced a large Pizza chain to replace Pepperoni toppings with Tofu toppings. Pizza sales dropped 6% and unemployment rose to 12%.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 14 November 2009
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