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Rating:

Psych's Explain McCain Behavior

Psychiatrists say John McCain's hatred towards water boarding comes from his childhood when he saw his mother being dunked in a New England lake by Cotton Mather, to see if she was a witch.

written by Bureau, 08 May 2009
Rating:

Yes We Can Change!

Political candidates spent over 5.3 billion dollars on the 2008 elections, most of them running on the campaign spending reform bill.

written by Bureau, 08 May 2009
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Obama On Iraq

President Barack Obama reveals highly original new plan to help Iraq. "Let's raise the rich ones taxes and spread it around a bit."

written by Bureau, 08 May 2009
Rating:

GOP Changing Symbols?

U.S. Republicans may change their party symbol from the elephant to the zebra wearing sombrero in order to get more Black, Hispanic votes.

written by Bureau, 08 May 2009
Rating:

The Specter Spectacle

Senator Arlen Specter has changed political parties becoming the first bullmoose party candidate since Teddy Roosevelt. Also has sex change, joins Buddhists in Tibet and wears a beanie.

written by Bureau, 08 May 2009
Rating:

Press Bad-mouths Our Leaders

Don't blame us! As expenses scandal rocks Westminster, the all-too predictable response from our rulers. All 300 plus claim they were set up.

written by Bureau, 08 May 2009
Rating:

Tennessee Astronaut Has His Dreams

Nashville, Tennessee astronaut tells news reporters that he wants to be the first to ever buck dance on the moon.

written by Bureau, 08 May 2009
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Gene Pool Breakrthrough

A major breakthrough for the gene pool as Kentucky exchanged 2,000 inbreds for 1,000 inbreds from West Virginia and another 1,000 from Arkansas.

written by Bureau, 08 May 2009
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The Big Brute

Police in Utah find 103 kids, seventeen women in Mormon home when they go to remove the dead body of 79 pound husband and father.

written by Bureau, 08 May 2009
Rating:

Rice At Record High

Rice jumps to record high as a mouse suddenly appears under the former Secretary of State's chair.

written by Bureau, 08 May 2009
Rating:

Octomom admits husband might be father of only two of their children

I guess this makes him just duo-dad.

written by Jalapenoman, 08 May 2009
Rating:

World Health Organization admits that swine flu really came from cats, not pigs

The women doctors said that we couldn't call it "Cat Flu" because men might stop eating pussy.

written by Jalapenoman, 08 May 2009
Rating:

No new swine flu deaths reported today...

...but 300,000 pigs still die in meat packing plants.

written by Jalapenoman, 08 May 2009
Rating:

Michael Phelps to Appear in Subway Commercial with Jared Fogle

Will the multi-gold winning Olympic swimmer pass him the bong?

written by Jalapenoman, 08 May 2009
Rating:

Michael Phelps to Appear in Subway Commericials with Jared Fogle

They go to Subway because the Olympic Gold Medalist got the munchies!

written by Jalapenoman, 08 May 2009
Rating:

Couple Really Out Of It

Confused couple just off Disney Cruise after pirate attack, swine flu scare, book themselves on the next cruise missile headed home.

written by Bureau, 08 May 2009
Rating:

Joan Accepts Offer

Melissa Rivers mother, comedian Joan Rivers has accepted a one million dollar check from Larry Flint not to appear nude in his Hustler Magazine.

written by Bureau, 08 May 2009
Rating:

Dolly's Bra Win Lifetime Achievement Award

Dolly Parton's bra has received a special golden award by the Country Music Hall of Fame for the best supporting role in an entertainment undergarment.

written by Bureau, 08 May 2009
Rating:

Nader On Oprah

Ralph Nader, appearing on Oprah yesterday says he runs for president every four years because he wants his voice heard and has that right as a citizen. Then he thanked Oprah for the free car.

written by Bureau, 08 May 2009
Rating:

Edwards Submits Hair

John Edwards, hit with paternity suit and compelled to send hair for DNA testing, pulls one off his chest. Rechecks each one on his head to see if it's just right.

written by Bureau, 08 May 2009
Rating:

CBS Sub-Contracts News

CBS News still finishing far behind the other networks, decide to sub-contract it out to CNN, Al Jazeera.

written by Bureau, 08 May 2009
Rating:

Possible "Great Satan" Tax

OPEC finally settles on a set price for a barrel of oil. However, prices of barrels, plus Great Satan Tax could be added to those headed for the U.S.

written by Bureau, 08 May 2009
Rating:

SBV's Still After Kerry

Swift Boat Veterans say Senator John Kerry never did endorse Barack Obama for president, also moved golf ball with foot away from tree root yesterday.

written by Bureau, 08 May 2009
Rating:

Crane Operator Fooling With Some Stupid Machine

Crane operator in Florida calmly goes about his business moving around sand while crane on beach that has eaten bad fish lies dying.

written by Bureau, 08 May 2009
Rating:

Seeing Many Things

A new study has revealed that four out of every five visionaries use visionary-enhanced substances.

written by Bureau, 08 May 2009
Rating:

Yucca Mountain News

Neighbors say that Yucca Mountain, where the United States stores it's nuclear waste, is starting to move around a bit at night.

written by Bureau, 08 May 2009
Rating:

Viagra, Levitra Study

A national survey shows that most men who use either Viagra or Levitra are, for the most part, big old softies.

written by Bureau, 08 May 2009
Rating:

Fake "Bubba Teeth" Recalled

China is recalling half a million fake "Bubba Teeth" that have lead in them. One person flattened after informing Tennessee man, whose teeth were real

written by Bureau, 08 May 2009
Rating:

Pope In Mideast

Pope Benedict XVI stressed his "deep respect" for Islam as he arrived in Jordan to begin a Middle East visit. "Also any of you Hindu, Buddhist, I like you too. So let's just put our guns away, OK?"

written by Bureau, 08 May 2009
Rating:

Flu Flock Flee

Nearly 300 guests and staff at a hotel in Hong Kong have been released after being held in quarantine for a week due to a feared outbreak of swine flu. Each immediately flew home.

written by Bureau, 08 May 2009
Rating:

Gas Thieves Caught

In Nagales Arizona last night three thieves were caught while trying to steal gas from an old Fart, who held them by gunpoint until police arrived.

written by Bureau, 08 May 2009
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Monkeys Move Arms ByThought

Monkeys can now control a robot arm by their thoughts, say scientists, every one of them covered with monkey shit.

written by Bureau, 08 May 2009
Rating:

Did Her Best

Sec. of State Hillary Clinton revealed today that her husband had successfully dodged over a dozen assassination attempts right after the Lewinsky affair, and there just might be another one.

written by Bureau, 08 May 2009
Rating:

G.W. Opponents Rally

Global Warming opponents plan million man march on Washington DC this summer. Plan to light 100,000 farts at one time. BYOB.
(Bring Your Own Beans)

written by Bureau, 08 May 2009
Rating:

Cracker Barrel Expanding

Cracker Barrel Restaurants soon to have a Kiddieland at each site, including a barrel of monkeys.

written by Bureau, 08 May 2009
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Republicans New Proposal

Republicans in the House and Senate push forth bill that would have "Total Weight" as determining factor in whether bills are passed or not.

written by Bureau, 08 May 2009
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No Martian Probe

Conspiracy theory: Despite words from Houston, Martians say no United State's Mars Probe ever landed on their planet. "What you've seen is a complete fake."

written by Bureau, 08 May 2009
Rating:

Swine, Bird Flu?

Top flu expert warns nation of a swine flu-bird flu mix by this fall but skeptics say "When Pigs Fly!"

written by Bureau, 08 May 2009
Rating:

Fannie Mae Wants Some More

Fannie Mae taps the Treasury again after $23 billion loss. Bettie Lou needs a new pair of shoes.

written by Bureau, 08 May 2009
Rating:

Enouraging Signs?

Obama: Encouraging signs, but too many still out of work and most signs say, "Will work for food".

written by Bureau, 08 May 2009
Rating:

The average spoof writer has 99 friends

It has been exclusively revealed by the Lancaster psychologist, Mark Lowton, that the average spoof writer has 99 friends. 92 of them are Monkey Woods.

written by IN SEINE, 08 May 2009
Rating:

Gentleman Spotted

A gentleman was spotted in Manhattan. Thought to have arrived in a time machine.

written by J.K. Baltzersen, 08 May 2009
Rating:

Leaked: David Cameron's latest the expense claim

It is rumoured that Conservative leader, David Cameron, has put in an expense claim for bicycle padlock - only yesterday! He does not even have a bike.

written by norma snockers, 08 May 2009
Rating:

Because The Spoof Says So

U.S. Senator Specter says the Grand Old Pizza Party has moved to the right because The Spoof says so.

written by J.K. Baltzersen, 08 May 2009
Rating:

Surveillance Celebration

Politicos and bureaucrats around the world celebrate - with partying today - the rising surveillance society, as Europeans otherwise - on V-E Day - celebrate the end of ... a surveillance society.

written by J.K. Baltzersen, 08 May 2009
Rating:

Old Woman Laughed to Death

An old woman laughed herself to death after reading a story at The Spoof. The story was thought to be taken out of the blue, but it turned out to be an accurate description of the political circus.

written by J.K. Baltzersen, 08 May 2009
Rating:

The Paranoid University of Illinois

H1N1 FLU ALERT : The University of Illinois at Chicago banned the traditional congratulatory handshake at its graduation exercises. Yale announces that any graduate who sneezes will be arrested.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 May 2009
Rating:

The Place Formerly Known As Horn of Africa

The Horn of Africa Chamber of Commerce in order to attract more visitors will be officially changing its name to Horny of Africa.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 May 2009
Rating:

The Weight Saga of Kirstie "Butterball" Alley

Kirstie "Butterball" Alley, weighs 228 pounds. The ex-Jenny Craig model vows to lose 108 pounds and get down to 120 pounds. When asked how, she said she's only going to eat foods with no ingredients.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 May 2009
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