Order by:
Rating:

Houses of Parliament to Soon Empty

With so many MPs resigning, Westminster Palace will soon be redundant. London Mayor, Boris Johnson, will apply to turn it into a table tennis emporium.

written by IN SEINE, 29 May 2009
Rating:

Tennessee Man Has 21 Children

Tennessee man fathers 21 children by 11 different women... and he's only 29! However, he looks 70.

written by Bureau, 29 May 2009
Rating:

Egg On His Face

In New York City, a weatherman attempting to fry an egg on the sidewalk was trampled to death!

written by Bureau, 29 May 2009
Rating:

Totally Off Target

In Lincoln, Nebraska Friday, a man's head was finally extracted from an obese woman's thonged ass after botched high dive!

written by Bureau, 29 May 2009
Rating:

Michelle Informs On Obama

Michelle Obama said this afternoon in interview that if it's one thing President Obama hates, it's for her to turn over in bed get on his ears.

written by Bureau, 29 May 2009
Rating:

Britain's Got Scrabble: Boyle defeated

After a tense game littered with four-letter words, Britain's Got Talent's Shaheen Jafargholi has beaten Susan Boyle at Scrabble. Jafargholi will meet Sri Lankan leader Mahinda Rajapaksa in the final.

written by neilwatson, 29 May 2009
Rating:

Ali Cannot Be Hung

Iraqi official announces that Chemical Ali cannot be hung as the rope dissolves just as soon as it is placed around his neck!

written by Bureau, 29 May 2009
Rating:

Manson Braeks Luke's Record

Charles Manson breaks Cool Hand Luke's record by eating 51 eggs, one by each personality.

written by Bureau, 29 May 2009
Rating:

UAW Approves GM Concessions

UAW members approve General Motors concessions. Workers say goodbye to wives and children as they leave to relocate to China.

written by Bureau, 29 May 2009
Rating:

Gore: Bush Anti-Global Warming Policies

Al Gore: Bush White House repeatedly stifled any new climate research. "Wouldn't even allow you to ask if it was hot in there or was it me!"

written by Bureau, 29 May 2009
Rating:

Saudis Say US Should Leave

Saudi Arabian King condemns United States occupation of Iraq. "They should be free to attack us at any time", says King Abdullah Hippocrit III.

written by Bureau, 29 May 2009
Rating:

Obamas Meeting Other Rich People

The stinking rich distance themselves from the filthy rich in meetings with President Barack Obama.

written by Bureau, 29 May 2009
Rating:

New Placebo Plant

Huge placebo-making plant to be built next to Pepsi Cola headquarters in New York, who admit they're "not the real thing".

written by Bureau, 29 May 2009
Rating:

Breast Implants Reach Pinnacle

Manufacturers of new breast implants say they have now reached the tipping point.

written by Bureau, 29 May 2009
Rating:

Paramedic Smashed! Sacked!

Paramedic sacked after being caught at wheel of ambulance while twice over drink-drive limit. Police noticed him when he had his head out the window making his own siren noises!

written by Bureau, 29 May 2009
Rating:

Major Airline Improvements

Major airlines performance improved nearly 50% in April could be attributed to fewer fliers due to the bad economy and Swine Flu scare.

written by Bureau, 29 May 2009
Rating:

Just The Thing

A pilot who was able to walk away unhurt last month after his plane crashed into a cushioning bunch of portopotties, admits that he joined the passengers in using the facilities immediately afterward.

written by Bureau, 29 May 2009
Rating:

Justice Met

Woman who treated daughters- in-law like 'slaves and dogs' is jailed for seven years in local pound.

written by Bureau, 29 May 2009
Rating:

Nuke Test In North Yorkshire

Nuclear test carried out in North Yorkshire... announces BBC news presenter in Radio 5 gaffe. "You'd think that they would have warned us", states Lancashire woman.

written by Bureau, 29 May 2009
Rating:

Palne Flies On Plum Juice

Flying on fruit juice: Jumbo Jet powered by 'plum' biofuel takes to the skies. "It was a sweet flight", says pilot, Jack Horner.

written by Bureau, 29 May 2009
Rating:

New "See-Through" Bathing Suit

Revolutionary bikini to make tan lines history: 'See-through' swimming cossie guarantees all-over bronzing. Also it's bringing back those old x-ray glasses sold in the comics in the '60's and '70's.

written by Bureau, 29 May 2009
Rating:

Lois Lane Dead

Lois Lane found dead. Police are questioning one Clark Kent about whether his super-sizing it got out of control.

written by Bureau, 29 May 2009
Rating:

Swine Flu Victims

In the latest stats just released, more than half of the victims of the Swine Flu were press people gathering all the latest numbers of victims of the Swine Flu.

written by Bureau, 29 May 2009
Rating:

Pelosi House Bugged?

Nancy Pelosi told the press she's not going to have any further comment on this whole controversy about the CIA. "I'm tired of my house being bugged", stated Pelosi, while scratching her ass.

written by Bureau, 29 May 2009
Rating:

Johnson Wins #299

Randy Johnson picked up win number 299 with a 6-3 victory over the Atlanta Braves Thursday night. Johnson is now just one victory away from becoming the ugliest 300-game-winner since Warren Spahn.

written by Bureau, 29 May 2009
Rating:

Another Teacher Sacked

Teacher sacked after 'making pupils kneel and pray to Allah' during Religion Education lesson. Brings bad memories of last year's trouble over dancing nude while sacrificing chicken.

written by Bureau, 29 May 2009
Rating:

Morley #13

Unlucky for some: Ex-minister Elliot Morley set to become 13th victim of the expenses scandal. Meanwhile, #112 says he will probably be retired by the time the scandal reaches him.

written by Bureau, 29 May 2009
Rating:

Cash Refuses To Step Down

Conservative MP Bill Cash has said he does not intend to stand down over his expenses claims for rent on a "second home" owned by his daughter. "I stole that money from taxpayer's fair and square."

written by Bureau, 29 May 2009
Rating:

Iran Blames US

A provincial official in Iran has accused the United States of being behind Thursday's bombing of a mosque that killed at least 19 people, his bad case of hemorrhoids.

written by Bureau, 29 May 2009
Rating:

Glasses Key To Personality

The way you hold your glass can reveal much more than you might realise, a psychologist has warned. Also, the amount of alcohol, number of glasses you drink.

written by Bureau, 29 May 2009
Rating:

Why Didn't We Think Of This Before?

President Obama says he is confident that Israel will recognize that a two-state solution's in the best interests of its security. Reasoning, the closer the rockets can be fired, the safer the people.

written by Bureau, 29 May 2009
Rating:

Cuckoo Bird In Danger

Society warns cuckoo bird is in danger of extinction. Chavez, Kim Jung Il, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad demand action!

written by Bureau, 29 May 2009
Rating:

Obama Embarrassed

Obama calling for better security for computers after teleprompter source hacked and he gives the Gettysburg Address and a couple of bawdy limericks.

written by Bureau, 29 May 2009
Rating:

Oil Prices Jump!

Oil prices hit new six-month high above $65 a barrel, because it can..and there's nothing we can do about it.

written by Bureau, 29 May 2009
Rating:

Destroyed All Sea Life

A huge volcanic eruption in China some 260 million years ago led to the sudden extermination of marine life clear around the world, says expert, who saw it all in a vision!

written by Bureau, 29 May 2009
Rating:

New Top Speller

Aspiring nurosur...knewalsurg...nuero...neurosurgeon from Kansas is nation's top speller!

written by Bureau, 29 May 2009
Rating:

NKorea Slams Security Council

North Korea slams Security Council as hypocrites! "Many of your leaders have funny shaped heads, 'Not all there' also!"

written by Bureau, 29 May 2009
Rating:

The Powerful Shanghai Boy Scouts

The Swiss government wants to know who the hell North Korea thinks they are. They say that fifty boys scout troops from Shanghai armed with chopsticks could defeat North Korea in about ten minutes.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 29 May 2009
Rating:

Will The Gay Guys and Gay Gals Give Up?

In California Proposition 8 has again been voted down. Governor Schwarzenegger suggested that maybe it's best if all the gay guys and gay gals just give up and move to Iowa.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 29 May 2009
Rating:

The Global Political Movement League Threatens North Korea

The Global Political Movement League has mandated that North Korea stop all their, (to use their word) bullshit immediately before all North Koreans get their (to use their word) asses kicked.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 29 May 2009
Rating:

The Rolls Royce Phantom Coupe

The Rolls Royce Auto Company is feeling the economic pinch. They plan on reducing the price on their Rolls Royce Phantom Coupe from $400,000 to $390,000.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 29 May 2009
Rating:

The World Citizens Health Organization Is Upset

The World Citizens Health Organization has just issued a proclamation that starting June 1, any countries who have any cases of swine flu will be fined $20,000 per case.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 29 May 2009
Rating:

Al Gore Visits Kindergarten

Al Gore visits local kindergarten in Crossville, Tennessee to read to the kids, "Jack and Jill went up the hill to escape the rising ocean!"

written by Bureau, 29 May 2009
Rating:

Man Dead In Roswell

Police say that man found dead in Roswell, New Mexico had been hit by a flying saucer, skillet!

written by Bureau, 29 May 2009
Rating:

Nobody Celebrating Early

Local Mall in Paris, Kentucky presents: Christmas In Spring! Summer! Fall! Still few shoppers show up!

written by Bureau, 29 May 2009
Rating:

Naughty Nighties

Fredericks of Wheeling, Virginia introduces new see-through flap less long johns!

written by Bureau, 29 May 2009
Rating:

Replaced Siegfried & Roy

Vampire magician performs highlight of his Vegas show by walking out into the evening sun and eating a clove of garlic!

written by Bureau, 29 May 2009
Rating:

Obama's Mother-In-Law

President Obama's mother-in-law tells him, "You may be the leader of the free world, but you are not going to wear those old tennis shoes in MY part of the White House!"

written by Bureau, 29 May 2009
Rating:

New Crayola Color

The Crayola Crayon Company announced on her Talk Show yesterday that they have decided to call their new crayon color, Ochre Winfree.

written by Bureau, 29 May 2009
Rating:

og Withdrawn From Show

Man withdraws dog from Westminster Dog Show after he learns that "Best drinker from the commode" is not a part of the agenda.

written by Bureau, 29 May 2009
« Apr 2009 May 2009 Jun 2009 »
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
 
1st
47
2nd
40
3rd
53
4th
49
5th
77
6th
59
7th
62
8th
49
9th
37
10th
51
11th
49
12th
54
13th
66
14th
64
15th
67
16th
33
17th
57
18th
71
19th
72
20th
68
21st
60
22nd
50
23rd
55
24th
66
25th
49
26th
41
27th
54
28th
62
29th
50
30th
34
31st
47

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