Order by:
Rating:

Great Farting Feathers!!

Seven children rushed to the hospital with breathing problems after the Mother of all Pillow Fights!

written by Bureau, 30 March 2009
Rating:

Calling The On-Line Casino

Local Wino advertising wine cork that looks like a purple sparkling spider that hops and talks, on eBay.

written by Bureau, 30 March 2009
Rating:

The Singin', Dancin' and Cheatin' LeAnn Rimes

Reliable sources state that country music singer LeAnn Rimes has accepted an invitation to appear on the Fox Network's reality show, "Dancing With The Cheaters."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 March 2009
Rating:

The Osaka Mama Doc

A plastic surgeon in Osaka, Japan, has just performed the very first-ever cleavage transplant.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 March 2009
Rating:

The Great Orator Ozzy Osbourne

A reporter for The Oakland Times wrote that one day last week, Ozzy Osbourne actually uttered three words that everyone understood; dog, cat, and photosynthesis.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 March 2009
Rating:

Nader/Pickens Seeking Solutions

Ralph Nader, T. Bone Pickens working on windmill energy, going from home to office and back in lawn chair with helium balloons using the windmill air currents.

written by Bureau, 30 March 2009
Rating:

Alexander The Great?

Historians at UCLA have just discovered that Alexander The Great was really not all that great afterall. They stated that he was more like Alexander The Alright.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 March 2009
Rating:

Zimbabwe's Telethon

The government of Zimbabwe aware of the enonomic crisis that America is going through held a "Help America" telethon. They will be sending the U.S. a check for $14,329,183.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 March 2009
Rating:

Those PETA Peeps

PETA bowing to economic pressure from the Food and Drug Administration plans to announce that baloney and salami are not meats.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 March 2009
Rating:

The Enormous Jury Pool

Due to the tremendous amount of unemployed people the Mackinaw City, Michigan court system says that they have a list of over 8,000 people begging to be called for jury duty.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 March 2009
Rating:

Obama In Firing Mood

Wall Street takes a major downturn after President Obama fires head of General Motors, whole Walton family.

written by Bureau, 30 March 2009
Rating:

Hope It Wasn't Niles

Psychiatrist has not been seen since ancient tribe recently discovered in New Guinea asked westerners for a headshrinker.

written by Bureau, 30 March 2009
Rating:

Monkeys Use Robotic Arm

Laboratory monkeys use a brain-Controlled robotic arm to feed themselves, throw poo at each other, lab technicians.

written by Bureau, 30 March 2009
Rating:

Chinese Buffet Restaurant, One Customer Flattened

A team of doctors have officially warned restaurant with all-you-can-eat buffets that some obese Americans have reaching the tipping point & are ready to blow after one more bite.

written by Bureau, 30 March 2009
Rating:

Glue Sniffer Stiffer

Man dies after huffing airplane glue all afternoon to get high. Ask your doctor if huffing airplane glue to get high is right for you.

written by Bureau, 30 March 2009
Rating:

New FOX Shows

FOX orders the first reality dating show for fat people: 'More to Love'. Next up, "Who Wants To Marry A Circus Geek?"

written by Bureau, 30 March 2009
Rating:

No More "Rare" Animals

Representatives from PETA and Greenpeace each have asked the press not to call an almost extinct animal species "Rare" anymore. "As soon as you do, some idiot out there will want to eat one."

written by Bureau, 30 March 2009
Rating:

Still In The Hole

Despite its large sales the year around, the makers of super slick Ky-jelly say their Kentucky business is still in the hole.

written by Bureau, 30 March 2009
Rating:

Let's Hear More About #3

Daily pill that combines aspirin & 4 blood pressure and cholesterol medicines has passed a big test, potentially offering a cheap way to stop heart disease, stroke & makes your penis hard as a rock.

written by Bureau, 30 March 2009
Rating:

Teens Suffering Depression

A government-appointed medical panel is urging doctors to routinely screen all American teens for depression. "They need help right now", stated one spokesman. "Tomorrow we could all be dead."

written by Bureau, 30 March 2009
Rating:

Japanese, S. Korean, U.S. Ships Set Sail

Japanese, S. Korean & U.S. missile-destroying ships set sail to monitor N. Korea's imminent rocket launch, as Pyongyang stoked tensions, saying "If their ships have to sail, they can not harm us."

written by Bureau, 30 March 2009
Rating:

PMT links to shopping

About 10 days before a woman is on her menstrual cycle, she will go on a shopping spree and by clothes. However, if she misses her period, she will go and buy maternity clothing.

written by norma snockers, 30 March 2009
Rating:

Shopping link to PMT

It has been found that 10 days before their menstrual cycle, women will go on a shopping spree. They mainly buy lots of tampons! However, actresses who work in period dramas are likely to buy dresses.

written by norma snockers, 30 March 2009
Rating:

John McCain's Sex Life

I was conducting an interview with John McCain. He said to me, "Last time I got laid was two bicentennials ago." Considering his age, I'm inclined to believe him.

written by weirdp7, 30 March 2009
Rating:

Time Of The Month To Shop

Women may be able to blame impulse buys and extravagant shopping on their time of the month, research suggests. Men blame having to leave house during the same time.

written by Bureau, 30 March 2009
Rating:

China Denies Computer Hackings

China has denied involvement in the electronic spy network which researchers say infiltrated computers in government offices around the world. Trouble is, they denied it day before they were accused.

written by Bureau, 30 March 2009
Rating:

Conrade Duch Apologizes

Court officials have finally started to outline the case against a former Khmer Rouge leader in Cambodia. Leader "Conrade Duch admits it "Got a little out of hand".

written by Bureau, 30 March 2009
Rating:

Gaddafi Grabs Headlines By Walking Out Of Summit

Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi has stormed out of the Arab League summit in Qatar having denounced the Saudi king for his ties with the West, bogarting all the headlines.

written by Bureau, 30 March 2009
Rating:

New Safety Terms

Barack Obama has given US carmakers GMC & Chrysler strict deadlines to restructure before getting more aid. Cars must have seat belts, shoulder belts, air bags, automatic filler of plastic peanuts.

written by Bureau, 30 March 2009
Rating:

Pakistan Retakes Police Academy

Pakistani security forces have recaptured a police academy after eight hours of clashes with gunmen who seized the complex during a morning drill on how to handle an enemy taking over police academy.

written by Bureau, 30 March 2009
Rating:

Last Lincoln Picture?

A collector has unearthed what experts think is the last known photo of Abraham Lincoln. Blowup actually shows bullet in the air.

written by Bureau, 30 March 2009
Rating:

Tata Nana Disappears With Driver

One of India's new $2,000 Tata Nano cars that hit Hummer head on apparently rocketed into another dimension.

written by Bureau, 30 March 2009
Rating:

Fish Tripping Out

A Whole range of pharmaceuticals have been found in fish near wastewater treatment plants. Some catfish are now calling themselves, "Rainbow Trout" "Moondog Mudcat".

written by Bureau, 30 March 2009
Rating:

New Three Stooges Movie

Hollywood has announced that a new three stooges movie is scheduled to come out this summer, but characters may be changed for the modern nucklur age.

written by Bureau, 30 March 2009
Rating:

Lights Out For Whatever

Lights were turned off across the globe for one hour this past weekend to signify something or other. Most people, like me, are still in the dark as far as to why it was done.

written by Bureau, 30 March 2009
Rating:

P.O. May Reissue '60's Stamps

Postmaster General warns congress post office is running out of funds. Asks permission to bring back Disney stamps with LSD on reverse side from 1960's, charge $2.00 per stamp.

written by Bureau, 30 March 2009
Rating:

Just when you thought things couldn't get any worse...

Agadoo is to be re-released.

Forecasts suggest this still may not the worst that's to come, as predictions suggest Sir Cliff will have another record out at around December.

written by Fergie73, 30 March 2009
Rating:

Website for missing government expenses claims to be investigated

A website asking for a donation to fraudulent government expenses is to be investigated by police. The public have been warned not to send any money because the government already have plenty.

written by IN SEINE, 30 March 2009
Rating:

Nationwide to merge with Dunfermline

Nationwide say they hope the deal will make them the 'Lloyds Banking Group of Building Societies'.

written by Roy Turse, 30 March 2009
Rating:

'Tunnel' links London to New York

When an American tested the new tunnel link to London, he asks; "where are you from?" The reply came; "I'm from Bangladesh." That's not far from London in global village terms!

written by IN SEINE, 30 March 2009
Rating:

The Very Appropriate Portrait of Dick Cheney

French food artist Pierre Bistro has created an 8 foot by 10 foot portrait of Vice-President Dick Cheney using nothing but slices of baloney.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 March 2009
Rating:

The 'One Of Each' Twins

Oprah Winfrey has stated that she plans on gaining 90 more pounds so that she can co-star with Kirstie Alley in MGM's The Black & White Twins of Cucamonga.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 March 2009
Rating:

Bill Clinton's Oral Book

The rights to Bill Clinton's book on oral sex titled, It All Depends On What Your Definition Of 'Is' Is? have just been purchased for $6.9 million by The Lips of Love Publishing Company.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 March 2009
Rating:

The Downsizing Caterpillar

The Caterpillar Big Machinery Company in an effort to adjust to the economic crisis will be downsizing by dropping one of its 'L's' and becoming The Caterpilar Big Machinery Company.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 March 2009
Rating:

The New 7 Foot 11 Nugget

The Denver Nuggets have just drafted 7 foot 11 Kelvin Penfold. The team is busily trying to find him some size 29 basketball shoes and an appropriate cup.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 March 2009
Rating:

KFC's Chickeny Deal

KFC in an effort to help those who otherwise may not be able to afford their chicken is offering its 'Chicken Wings Which May Contain Some Feathers' deal for only 77 cents.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 March 2009
Rating:

The Ex-Mr. Amy Winehouse

Blake Fielder-Civil, ex-husband of Amy Winehouse is writing a book on his marriage to A.W. The book is entitled, What The Hell Was I Thinking? Was I Drunk, On Drugs, Or Just Plain Stupid?

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 March 2009
Rating:

General Motor's Charming Charmin Decision

General Motors in an effort to cut down on expenses plans to remove the toilet paper from all of its factory restrooms.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 March 2009
Rating:

NO ONE Expected This

Spanish Court begins Inquiry into former U.S. Officials' war crimes. Tomas de Torquemada summons Rumsfeld, Cheney and Alberto Gonzales to Madrid.

written by Bureau, 30 March 2009
Rating:

EPA Warning On Greenhouse Gases

EPA declares Greenhouse gases "Significant health risk for anyone trapped on an elevator with Harley "Bubblebutt Greenhouse!"

written by Bureau, 30 March 2009
Rating:

Inflation Up Among Men

Inflation up nearly 50% as more and more American men can't afford real wives, turn to Suzy Squeezums!

written by Bureau, 30 March 2009
Rating:

Not Judged On Race But Treason

In a country long divided by race, Barack Obama argues that Americans generally have been colorblind in judging him, the Kenyan Benedict Arnold.

written by Bureau, 30 March 2009
Rating:

Geithner: Only Took 8 Weeks To Bankrupt Nation

Treasury Secretary Geithner: We've done a lot in 8 weeks. Plan to go another 10 trillion dollars in debt by July first.

written by Bureau, 30 March 2009
Rating:

Taxes Increased On (Place Subject Here)

However they satisfy their nicotine cravings, tobacco users are facing a big hit as the single largest federal tobacco tax increase ever takes effect Wednesday. Most plan to turn to home grown stuff.

written by Bureau, 30 March 2009
Rating:

Soldier Guilty Of Killing Iraqis

US soldier found guilty in killing of 4 Iraqis in 2007. Also, World War II veteran convicted of killing a German soldier in 1944.

written by Bureau, 30 March 2009
Rating:

Obama Appoints Puppet

General Motors CEO Wagoner forced out as part of government plan. Obama puppet appointed to take his place.

written by Bureau, 30 March 2009
Rating:

Zhivago Scores, Dies

Maurice Jarre, composer of "Zhivago" scores, dies. I'm sorry, Maurice Jarre, composer of "Zhivago score" dies.

written by Bureau, 30 March 2009
Rating:

Fargo A Happening Place

Flooding in Fargo eases but winter storm moves in. Also, two crazed gunmen on the loose being pursued by very pregnant sheriff!

written by Bureau, 30 March 2009
Rating:

Perfect Running Pace Revealed

Perfect running pace revealed: Try to stay at least ten feet ahead of your attacker with the knife.

written by Bureau, 30 March 2009
Rating:

Stupid Game's Getting Fuzzier By The Hour

Video games with lots of action, such as the shoot-'em-up variety, can improve your vision, the video industry finds. Especially after having to get glasses after ten hour gaming sessions.

written by Bureau, 30 March 2009
Rating:

Pakistan Situation Clearing

Pakistan army nabs gunmen who attacked police who had earlier in the day attacked Pakistan army trying to nab gunmen who had attacked police.

written by Bureau, 30 March 2009
Rating:

Really Cleans You Out

Cholesterol drug cuts vein clot risk by 40 percent. Applied to bowels, cuts "spackle on large intestine walls" by 75 percent. Removes people in house after someone taking it craps, 100%.

written by Bureau, 30 March 2009
Rating:

Viability Questioned

White House questions viability of GM, Chrysler. U.S. population questions viability of congress, senate.

written by Bureau, 30 March 2009
Rating:

FBI on Hunt for Spoof Writer

FBI is looking for few dozen spoof writer, whom they blame to be responsible for hiding Osama Bin Laden under the carpet in White House

written by Lostinrandomworld, 30 March 2009
Rating:

GM Chairman to be New US president

After bankrupting Obama, GM chairman is be appointed the next US president, vowing to make US economy more struggling in near future.

written by Lostinrandomworld, 30 March 2009
Rating:

Obama goes Bankrupt

Obama has declared that he has become bankrupt after after buying large number of stock from US Automobile company. He was hoping that US govt would rescue this industry.

written by Lostinrandomworld, 30 March 2009
Rating:

Bush Criticizes Media As Only He Can

Former United States President George W. Bush says that while he was in office, media reports on suicide-bombings were highly overblown!

written by Bureau, 30 March 2009
Rating:

Chemical Ali's Last Request

Iraqi criminal "Chemical Ali", scheduled to be executed, has asked permission for his ashes to be buried at Yucca Mountain.

written by Bureau, 30 March 2009
Rating:

California Imposes More Taxes

The state of California has once again raised the taxes charged on the cost of cigarettes. Now they're ready to draft beer tax.

written by Bureau, 30 March 2009
Rating:

Obama Questioners Last Week Were His Own Backers

Most of last weeks Obama town hall questioners were his own campaign backers according to the Washington Post. Editor says they became suspicious when Obama gave answers twice to previous questions.

written by Bureau, 30 March 2009
« Feb 2009 March 2009 Apr 2009 »
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29
2nd
32
3rd
48
4th
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5th
67
6th
52
7th
35
8th
36
9th
58
10th
100
11th
65
12th
68
13th
47
14th
60
15th
21
16th
34
17th
50
18th
63
19th
73
20th
57
21st
53
22nd
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23rd
63
24th
75
25th
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26th
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27th
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29th
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30th
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31st
51
 

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