Order by:
Rating:

Wins Bet, Loses Freedom

A NYC man who threatened to kill Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor and said he wanted to kill President Barack Obama has been arraigned on charges of making a terroristic threat, but wins bar bet.

written by Bureau, 05 June 2009
Rating:

She's Lying Like A Dog

The last person living in Turkey Twat, Tennessee has died. So, if your date states that she won't be able to go out because she needs to go visit her sick uncle Elmer in Turkey Twat, Tn., she's lying!

written by Bureau, 05 June 2009
Rating:

KFC Warns Against Finger Licking

Because of the fear that the Swine flu may come back this fall, Kentucky Fried Chicken has asked it's customers NOT to lick their fingers after September 1st.

written by Bureau, 05 June 2009
Rating:

Michelle Obama's Surprise Visit

Michelle Obama surprises a lot of people by showing up at Washington Night Club and sings a few old Billie Holiday songs including "My Man's Shit Don't Stink".

written by Bureau, 05 June 2009
Rating:

"Love Me Long"

At Graceland, the number one seller is once again the Elvis Presley "Love Me Tender, Love Me Long" vibrator.

written by Bureau, 05 June 2009
Rating:

Tha Amish Shunning

In Pennsylvania, Amish wife Sarah Yoder has announced she is shunning her husband, Ichabod, after the birth of their twelfth child.

written by Bureau, 05 June 2009
Rating:

Don't Even Read This

Study reveals that most people are upset when reading some supposed bit of humor when the writer goes on and on and on and hasn't anything funny to say. And let me tell you, I'm one of those people.

written by Bureau, 05 June 2009
Rating:

Humane Society Recall

The National Humane Society has recalled all dogs they have adopted out over the past six months. Say they are a rollover threat, could play dead.

written by Bureau, 05 June 2009
Rating:

The Three Boob Jobs of Denise Richards

Denise Richards admits that she has had three boob jobs. The left one, the right one, and ex-husband Charlie Sheen.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 June 2009
Rating:

The Rude-As-Hell Madonna Folks

Reports state that Madonna's concert employees are treating the workers of an exquisite New York Hotel extremely bad. One maid confided she actually exchanged gunfire with one of Madonna's dancers.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 June 2009
Rating:

Two U.S. State Department Officials - Thirty Years of Spying For Cuba

A state department official and his wife have been arrested and charged with spying for Cuba. If convicted they can be executed. Fox News is negotiating for the TV rights to the execution.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 June 2009
Rating:

Bush Family In Turnip Convoy

Obama may be the first black president but most say that the poor Bush family who came to Texas in a Turnip Convey in 1799 still the best rags to riches story.

written by Bureau, 05 June 2009
Rating:

Especially If You Have A Whopper

Burger King, "Home of the Whopper" advices everyone to drive, have sex safely over the upcoming July 4th weekend.

written by Bureau, 05 June 2009
Rating:

Cheney Over Biden

Exxon/Mobile say that VP Buckwheat 'hair-plugged' Biden not nearly as friendly as Dick 'The Oil Slick' Cheney!

written by Bureau, 05 June 2009
Rating:

New Liquid Tar

Is this the end of the pothole? Machine which sprays holes with liquid tar in seconds could be answer for Britain's roads. Authorities at Gitmo also showing interest.

written by Bureau, 05 June 2009
Rating:

Investigators Red-Faced

Debris found in Atlantic is NOT from Air France jet say red-faced investigators after fishing in old shoe, cans, dead octopus and two dozen used condoms.

written by Bureau, 05 June 2009
Rating:

Father Faces Jail

Father faces jail for towing son, six, on sledge behind 4x4 for 'once-in-a-lifetime' experience. Expected to be put in crowded cell for 'once in a lifetime experience'!

written by Bureau, 05 June 2009
Rating:

The Alan Sugar Peerage

Brown condemned for giving 'bully' Sir Alan Sugar a peerage and enterprise job. "He said he'd beat me up", claims PM.

written by Bureau, 05 June 2009
Rating:

Flint Quits, Throws Fits

A woman scorned: Flint quits, accusing Brown of running a two-tier government and using women as 'window dressing', bottom tier!

written by Bureau, 05 June 2009
Rating:

Dinosaur Bones Identified

Scientists find more dinosaur bones at Utah quarry. Barney tearfully identifies his Uncle Rex, Aunt Bronte.

written by Bureau, 05 June 2009
Rating:

American, German Vets Celebrate D-Day

American, German vets pay respects to D-Day fallen by firing a few shots over each other's heads, which brought tears to everyone there.

written by Bureau, 05 June 2009
Rating:

NYC The Safest

NYC tops FBI list of safest U.S. cities, as long as one stays in his/her room using all six locks.

written by Bureau, 05 June 2009
Rating:

Berlusconi "Nothing To Fear"

Italy's scandal-plagued PM Berlusconi angrily insisted on Friday that he had nothing to fear after the publication of photos showing topless women and a naked man sunbathing at his island villa bed.

written by Bureau, 05 June 2009
Rating:

Brown Defies Calls

Brown defies calls to step down as British PM, now coming in at several hundred an hour before phones unhooked.

written by Bureau, 05 June 2009
Rating:

Temps Cloud Unemployment figures

Temp work helps mask joblessness among Americans. Also most superheroes never report their night time work saving the earth.

written by Bureau, 05 June 2009
Rating:

Conservatives More Squeamish

People who squirm at the sight of bugs or are grossed out by blood and guts or a steaming pile of shit are more likely to be politically conservative, according to liberals, who study such things.

written by Bureau, 05 June 2009
Rating:

Obama Encourages Superheroes

At death camp, Obama says evil must be confronted. Calls on the world's superheroes to quit worrying about themselves and get off their lazy asses.

written by Bureau, 05 June 2009
Rating:

Gitmotors?

After General Motors bankruptcy, President may assign Gitmo detainees to empty buildings, offices.

written by Bureau, 05 June 2009
Rating:

David Carradine Dies Under Unusual Circumcision...

Chabad-Lubavitch Center in Bangkok says they weren't involved. Oye Vey! Oh wait...I think it was supposed to be 'unusual circumstances

written by Wire Piddle, 05 June 2009
Rating:

The GOP vs. Sonia "Kiss My Ass" Sotomayor

In a move to further try and derail the Supreme Court appointment of Sonia Sotomayor, desperate GOPers will reveal that she was once a Russian spy, a KKK grand dragon, and a Salem witch.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 June 2009
Rating:

The Robert E. Lee Prison's New Lunch Menu

The warden of The Robert E. Lee State Prison in Atlanta said he has had to reduce his food budget. Inmates will now receive a lunchmeal consisting of 3 beans, 5 grains of rice, and 1 ounce of water.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 June 2009
Rating:

"Put Down That Cell Phone NOW!"

A high school student in Pennsylvania was tasered for refusing to put his cell phone down. Wow! What's next? A student getting shot in the foot for not eating his vegetables.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 June 2009
Rating:

Mrs. Griffin's Mean Daughter, Kathy

Kathy Griffin remarked she'd trade her mom for a third emmy. When her mom was told of her remarks she replied, "Really? Well tell the red-headed bitch that I'll trade her for a box of Raisin Bran."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 June 2009
Rating:

The Adventures of Linda "No Drugs" Hogan

Hulk Hogan's wife Linda passed the drug test. But She failed the "Mrs. Robinson Test" miserably

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 June 2009
Rating:

Whitney Houston's Album's "Non-Dedication"

Whitney Houston's album will be released in September. When asked if she was dedicating the album to anyone in particular, she replied, "It won't be dedicated to that punk Bobby that's for damn sure."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 June 2009
Rating:

Will Lindsay Lohan Corrupt Britney Spears?

Britney Spears family is doing everything they can possibly do to make sure that Britney is not corrupted by Lindsay Lohan while she's in London. Wow, that's like trying to teach a skunk not to stink.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 June 2009
Rating:

The Findings on Obesity

The World Wide Society For Health Unification has released the findings on its two year research study on obesity. They've determined that obesity is only found in overweight individuals.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 June 2009
Rating:

Denzel Washington Says He's Too Old To Play President Obama

Denzel Washington was asked if he would like to play President Obama in a movie. He answered that he's too old to play Barack Obama, but he might be able to play his wife, First Mama, Michelle Obama.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 June 2009
Rating:

Jennifer Lopez - The Actress Returns

Jennifer Lopez who took three years off to raise her twins stated that she was so afraid that she might have forgotten how to act. Hmmmmmmm. [FILL IN YOUR OWN THOUGHTS ABOUT THAT HERE. THANK YOU.]

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 June 2009
Rating:

Viagra Results Positive

Lawsuits against the makers of Viagra have been dropped as a federal judge rules that the drug may contribute, but does not cause, either blindness nor carpal tunnel syndrome.

written by Bureau, 05 June 2009
Rating:

Operation Desert Clone

The Pentagon may be up to no good again as it asks for fewer military volunteers but have one thousand new men that all look alike. "They're from Eastern Kentucky, West Virginia say recruiters."

written by Bureau, 05 June 2009
Rating:

Bush Interview

Former President Bush says in interview that he doesn't know much about the table of elements but personally, he always has Tabasco on his.

written by Bureau, 05 June 2009
Rating:

Iran's Response Short & Sweet!

Iran's President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad declares an official "Whoop-De-Shit" upon learning that President Obama aiming at peace between Arabs, Israelis.

written by Bureau, 05 June 2009
Rating:

Takes A Real Dog To Prom

Home-schooled student told he must attend Senior Prom with either his mother or sister as escort, decides to take his dog, Buttsniffer.

written by Bureau, 05 June 2009
Rating:

Talk About A Whopper

Man in McDonalds who ordered a "cheeseburger with everything on it to go" from the new guy on his first day at work, can't get his burger back through the door.

written by Bureau, 05 June 2009
« May 2009 June 2009 Jul 2009 »
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
1st
48
2nd
79
3rd
52
4th
56
5th
45
6th
71
7th
74
8th
58
9th
46
10th
70
11th
69
12th
45
13th
57
14th
55
15th
71
16th
58
17th
71
18th
65
19th
63
20th
52
21st
67
22nd
64
23rd
57
24th
77
25th
80
26th
94
27th
71
28th
33
29th
38
30th
82
 

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