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Rating:

Jackson Was On 50,000 A Week

That's a lot of pills.

written by Ron Smith, 29 June 2009
Rating:

I Declined This Job Offer

To be the Motivational Director of our local hospice.

written by tlmedia, 29 June 2009
Rating:

Trying To Get A Move On

A seventy-six year old Florida man and his dad both injured today in a fight over who kept the keys to the Rascal.

written by Bureau, 29 June 2009
Rating:

Another Surfer Gone!

Al Gore predictions of global warming are still being mocked by many, even though a third surfer in Florida has died from an attack from a polar bear from northern ice floe.

written by Bureau, 29 June 2009
Rating:

Good News From Cromwell

A report out of Cromwell, Kentucky that a Purdue chicken plucker there, who got sick at work, does NOT have the Chicken Flu! Just major depression.

written by Bureau, 29 June 2009
Rating:

Amway Visionaries?

Many are asking, where are all the Amway Sales Visionaries of the new century. Well, some are...mostly managers.

written by Bureau, 29 June 2009
Rating:

The London Loonybird?

Unknown killer still walking the streets of London, awaiting for the the newspapers to give him a name.

written by Bureau, 29 June 2009
Rating:

New Fundraiser Ads

New television ads by Sally Struthers: Remember, only $20 will feed this beautiful model for a month!

written by Bureau, 29 June 2009
Rating:

Some Lions Apparently Successful

Lions form prides to defend territory against other lions, not to improve their hunting success, a study reveals. Still, Detroit 0-8 at home, same as on the road last season.

written by Bureau, 29 June 2009
Rating:

Falls Tied To Canes, Walkers

47,000 elderly falls in US tied to canes, walkers. Safety spokesperson says canes and walkers should NEVER be tied.

written by Bureau, 29 June 2009
Rating:

Critics Transformed

'Transformers' possibly the worst-reviewed hit movie and a $400 million hit, may transform reviews from now on.

written by Bureau, 29 June 2009
Rating:

Ailing California Economy!

Ailing California economy could prolong whole US recession for years, eventually become America's "West Bank"

written by Bureau, 29 June 2009
Rating:

The Final Proof

Iran says partial recount shows election valid as seven out of ten samples pulled at random out of Ahdmadinejad's hat voted for him.

written by Bureau, 29 June 2009
Rating:

Obama Nose Out Of Joint

Obama says Honduran ouster was 'not legal'. New leader will have to go back and take over country all over again, this time legally.

written by Bureau, 29 June 2009
Rating:

Today's Ugliest Dog

A prominent under-bite, scrunched face and floppy ears are the hallmarks of a winner. The winner of the World's Ugliest Dog contest, Pabst, takes the Blue Ribbon!

written by Bureau, 29 June 2009
Rating:

Cheerleading: Most Dangerous Sport

Cheerleading, the most dangerous sport, lost still another one yesterday as Western Kentucky's "Big Red" was trampled & gored by a bull.

written by Bureau, 29 June 2009
Rating:

Kim Photo Could Be Faked

June photo of North Korea's Kim may be recycled. For one thing, he looks several years younger and you catch a glimpse of President Jimmy Carter nearby.

written by Bureau, 29 June 2009
Rating:

Billy Mays Autopsy Planned

Autopsy planned for TV pitchman Billy Mays, the OxiClean guy but several fear it was from getting high on ingredients.

written by Bureau, 29 June 2009
Rating:

Enjoy The Earth While You Can

Bernie Madoff gets maximum 150 years in prison. Says he'll be able to buy the earth with Swiss accounts increase by the time he's 221.

written by Bureau, 29 June 2009
Rating:

Billy Ray Cyrus Speaks Out

Billy Ray Cyrus is convinced that his daughter, Disney doll Miley Cyrus, has the best voice he has ever heard and that she got that from him.

written by Mig93, 29 June 2009
Rating:

Queen to Pay Tribute to Michael Jackson

UK supergroup, Queen, are due to re-release their No.1 hit record, "Another one bites the dust!" as a tribute to the King of pop Michael Jackson according to a bloke in a pub in Cirencester.

written by IN SEINE, 29 June 2009
Rating:

Value for Money?

Fraudster, Bernie Madoff, inventor of the credit crunch, was given 150 years in prison at a cost of $1.5 billion. This represents good value for money.

written by IN SEINE, 29 June 2009
Rating:

Simple Cure For U.S Federal Financial Woes

Just install one hundred ATM's all over the place at the Treasury Department. Money? No problem.

written by tlmedia, 29 June 2009
Rating:

People Mourn Michael Jackson, of 1865

Though it has been 144 years since his death, people are still mourning the loss of Michael Jackson. Not the King of Pop, but another Michael Jackson who died fighting in the Civil War in 1865.

written by Nik Voelz, 29 June 2009
Rating:

95 Percent of All Lion Bites

The African Council on Animal Bites has noted that 95 percent of all lion bites in Kenya involve Kenyan men. The council concluded that Kenyan women are just much faster runners.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 29 June 2009
Rating:

All Of The Jupiterian 3000 iPhones Are Being Recalled

The Jupiterian iPhone Company is recalling all 2.3 million of its brand new Jupiterian 3000 iPhones. It seems that they are prone to suddenly exploding when they detect a series of curse words.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 29 June 2009
Rating:

Bernard Madoff Is Finally Sentenced

Bernard Madoff has just been handed a 150 year prison sentence. He reportedly turned to his lawyer and said, "I'll give you 8 to 5 odds I get out in 100 years."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 29 June 2009
Rating:

Terror threat upgraded to "red" status

Obama explains that "Malia and Sasha decided that it was a good day to change colors and red goes better with today's outfits."

written by Jalapenoman, 29 June 2009
Rating:

"LOST!"

A hermit began a 40 day stint of isolation in a tower at Manchester Museum. "I plan to contemplate on things "lost" It's so easy to lie back and think of England" he said. No challenge there then!

written by IN SEINE, 29 June 2009
Rating:

Statue of Dickie Bird Causes Stir!

A statue of cricket umpire, Dickie Bird, was unveiled today in Barnesly. The figure is seen 'flippin-the-bird'. However, a flock of pigeons did not find it funny and decided dump on it!

written by IN SEINE, 29 June 2009
Rating:

Worst Glastonbury Ever!!

According to Abraham Roberts, who imbibed so much LSD, MDMA, Cocaine, Alcohol and Skunk that he died, lost his tent, drank the contents of the public toilets and had his wife stolen by Keith Allen.

written by Ron Smith, 29 June 2009
Rating:

Black Entertainment Television Awards - Tribute To Michael Jackson

The Obama Family Singers rendition of Ben by Michael Jackson at the BET Awards, bought tears to the eyes of many. Even Michael's uncle Jesse Jackson cried. Ben is a song about an evil super rat.

written by Ron Smith, 29 June 2009
Rating:

London Mint Office Attempts to Stimulate the Economy

The London Mint have made the mistake of striking 20p coins with no date. Collectors are offering £50 per coin for anyone who finds one of 200,000 in circulation. Slot machine proprietors are happy.

written by IN SEINE, 29 June 2009
Rating:

Barry Bonds Divorce

Barry Bonds and his wife are divorcing. "Ever since he started getting close to Hank Aaron's home run record he's had the big head", she reportedly told a judge.

written by Bureau, 29 June 2009
Rating:

Jerry O'Brian Dead

Jerry O'Brian, lately of the Riverdance group, drowned in the Ohio River last night after getting drunk and apparently attempting to dance on the river.

written by Bureau, 29 June 2009
Rating:

Some Good News On Economy

President Obama: Even though the unemployment rate is now around ten percent, theft of office supplies is down nearly 50%.

written by Bureau, 29 June 2009
Rating:

Middle East Condition Updated

Arab leaders of the middle east had a special meeting with President Obama today and after a call to Israel, the midwest situation can now be upgraded to "Completely Hopeless"

written by Bureau, 29 June 2009
Rating:

Romanians To Blame For Credit Crunch - Darling

Alistair Darling claims that a couple of Romanians bumped into him in Oxford Street last September and pickpocketed the whole economy from his jacket pocket. "It would make sense", he said.

written by Ron Smith, 29 June 2009
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