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Rating:

Sad News From The Wimbledon Finals

The Wimbledon Finals are being canceled because of a sudden outbreak of 'Line Flu.'

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 June 2009
Rating:

Perez Hilton - Not Paris Hilton

Perez Hilton asks, "Hey did everyone forget about me? Remember I was assaulted by the Black Eyed Peas, P Diddy, and Do Wah Diddy Diddy."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 June 2009
Rating:

Michelle Obama aka The Fashion Maven

Michelle Obama has told her assistant that if everyone was shocked to see her wearing sleeveless blouses and dresses, just wait until they see her wearing her Daisy Duke Short Shorts.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 June 2009
Rating:

The Awesome San Diego Zoo Promotion

The San Diego Zoo in a tribute to Michael Jackson has announced that they will be allowing anyone who's last name is Jackson free admission between now and August 1.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 June 2009
Rating:

Expensive Animal Creation

A genetic engineer was cloning goats. When asked if the process was expensive, he said, "They don't come sheep."

written by IN SEINE, 28 June 2009
Rating:

Grim Reaper Tries To Make Ammends

His press secretary says to make up for the death of Farrah Fawcett, he decided to take out two scourges on society:Michael Jackson, and Billy Mays.

written by Daniel Williams, 28 June 2009
Rating:

TV pitchman Billy Mays dies at age 50

Meteoric career comeback for Michael Jackson led Mays to try the amazing "Demer-All" product that "makes it EASY for any 50 year old to pass away in their sleep with NO muss and NO fuss!"

written by Robin Berger, 28 June 2009
Rating:

Jungle News Today

The jungle drums in the in DR Congo reported that a cannibal passed his friend in the jungle this morning.

written by IN SEINE, 28 June 2009
Rating:

Michael Jackson - The One and Only "Gloved One"

Wal-Mart reports that world-wide sales of Michael Jackson left-handed gloves have surpassed the 28 million mark.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 June 2009
Rating:

Here Comes The Miley Cyrus and Amy Winehouse Musical Tour

Miley Cyrus and Amy Winehouse have signed to go on a 47-city North American Tour. The tour is being hailed as "The Bubbly & Ugly Tour."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 June 2009
Rating:

The Country Formerly Known As Wales

The governing body of Wales has voted to change the country's spelling to Whales in honor of the much misunderstood Sperm Whales.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 June 2009
Rating:

The IHOP's Are YoHOP's In Latin America

Research scientists are reporting that they believe they have traced the origins of the Swine Flu to bacon strips that were found in the kitchen of a YoHOP Restauant in Puerto Escondido, Mexico.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 June 2009
Rating:

The Findings of The Reptile Institute of Austria

The Amphibian's Institute of Austria has concluded that kissing a frog will not give you warts although it will certainly cause your neighbors to point and stare.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 June 2009
Rating:

Twi;ight Time

Old song by Platters "Twilight Time" making a comeback because of the movies and books.

written by Bureau, 28 June 2009
Rating:

College Students Report Monkey Pox

Whole class at Indiana State "Study of Evolution" class suddenly hit with the Monkey Pox. Scientists say they hope it doesn't miss with Swine Flu, creating "Shit Creek's Disease".

written by Bureau, 28 June 2009
Rating:

Old Parts Displayed

Michael Jackson's castoff parts has been sold to a Ripley's Believe It Or Not Museum in Niagara Falls by the Jackson family.

written by Bureau, 28 June 2009
Rating:

Fans Still Suspicious

Still a third autopsy may be performed on Michael Jackson as his manager says he may go on an autopsy tour.

written by Bureau, 28 June 2009
Rating:

Hubble Shows Life On Another Planet

A deep space planet just revealed by the Hubble Telescope shows life, goes a long way towards explaining Picasso paintings.

written by Bureau, 28 June 2009
Rating:

Manager "Fat" Jim Higgens Explains

Slim Jim factory explosion earlier this year blamed on heat build-up in fat used to produce "Slim Jims".

written by Bureau, 28 June 2009
Rating:

New GMC Tough Competition

Government Motors is now offering a $4,500 rebate with every new $75,000 Cadillac purchased.

written by Bureau, 28 June 2009
Rating:

Seniors Back To Work

U.S. seniors are hunting jobs as retirement hopes fade. So far, only three restaurants accidentally burned to ground because of forgetting to turn off deep-fat fryer at night.

written by Bureau, 28 June 2009
Rating:

Monkey Does Himself In

Grieving Michael Jackson's favorite pet monkey found dead of asphyxiation in closet using ropes around neck and penis.

written by Bureau, 28 June 2009
Rating:

Janet May Do Panned Jackson Tour

Janet Jackson will take up the 50 performance schedule of Michael Jackson's planned tour. Promising less dancing, but more robe mishaps.

written by Bureau, 28 June 2009
Rating:

Ed McMahon Upset

Friends say that Ed McMahon thoroughly pissed to playing second fiddle to someone else, even in death.

written by Bureau, 28 June 2009
Rating:

Jackson Couldn't Sing

News today about Michael Jackson is that a medical condition prevented him from being able to sing but that had never stopped him before.

written by Bureau, 28 June 2009
Rating:

Joe's Blows

Vice President Joe Biden places his foot firmly into his mouth once again. Blames two bad hair implant plugs for "not using his head".

written by Bureau, 28 June 2009
Rating:

Big Ebay Sales

Michael Jackson's toenail clippings sold on eBay for over $10,000. Authenticity DNA report included.

written by Bureau, 28 June 2009
Rating:

Iran Elections Fair

Ayatollah in charge of Iran points to record 135% turnout to show democracy of Iran's government.

written by Bureau, 28 June 2009
Rating:

Clinton's New Book

Bill Clinton's new "tell all" book to be serialized in Playboy Magazine. "Hillary wears me out at home."

written by Bureau, 28 June 2009
Rating:

Prince Harry Goes To War Again

Harry Hewitt is to return to the front-line, this time in the war against pale ginger skin. "I'm off to Majorca with the missus for a couple of weeks. Then I'm going to get pissed for a year", he said.

written by Ron Smith, 28 June 2009
Rating:

Wimbledon - Queen Could Play Murray In Final

The Queen has been given a wilcard entry into the Wimbledon men's final where she could meet a Scottish Andy Murray. "It's the match we all want to see", a tabloid journalist said.

written by Ron Smith, 28 June 2009
Rating:

50 Cent believes Michael Jackson

was ripping off some of his big early hits and so he considers himself as a part of MJ's success

written by Mig93, 28 June 2009
Rating:

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad hit with a Bunker Buster

A bunker buster was dropped on Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's head. The device just bounced off the "nut cases" hard and empty head. President Obama apologized and said he will try the "nuclear option" next!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 June 2009
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