Order by:
Rating:

Deadbeat Dad's Organize

Deadbeat Dads organize on the internet to plan million deadbeat dads march this summer to promote a National Deadbeat Dad's Day or DDD! Deadbeat Mom's observing closely.

written by Bureau, 18 June 2009
Rating:

Grand Ayatollah Picks Favorites

Grand Ayatollah in Iran asks to see a large selection of teen Iranian women in the nude to pick out which will be the best virgin material for afterlife just in case there is a revolution.

written by Bureau, 18 June 2009
Rating:

80 Year Old Man Removes "Kick Me" Tag Left Since Childhood

"I never understood why my butt was so sore my whole life," said Willard."One doctor said it was buttocks spasms. I never realized it was just a cruel joke, and one that lasted 72 years.

written by Nik Voelz, 18 June 2009
Rating:

Aspiring Politician Denied Office

Aspiring politician and sports fan Eddie Grunt was rejected as a political candidate because he usually spoke the truth. "All politicians are liars," he said.

written by Skoob1999, 18 June 2009
Rating:

Blair's £15 million income details posted....

earned since leaving orifice through pubic sneaking, dictatorships and a bookies' deal.

written by queen mudder, 18 June 2009
Rating:

Conan O'Brien Fanning The Letterman-Palin Feud Flames

Conan O'Brien says he heard that David Letterman's pet Chihuahua knocked up Governor Palin's pet Schnauzer during a New York Rangers hockey game.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 18 June 2009
Rating:

It Don't Look Good For Motown

Detroit is reeling from the economic recession. It has a 22.8 unemployment rate. The auto companies and major food chains are gone. Reports are that all city buildings will be moved to Ann Arbor.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 18 June 2009
Rating:

Tyra "The Banking Gal" Banks

Tyra Banks purchases The First National Bank of Malibu Beach. She plans on renaming it The Tyra Banks Bank. The new bank will offer free checking as well as free eye shadow, lipstick, and mascara.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 18 June 2009
Rating:

Olive Garden Tells Letterman: Hey, Dude, We're Outta Here!

Olive Garden cancels all of its David Letterman talk show ads. A spokesperson said that Letterman needs to wash his mouth out with Ivory Soap, which by the way has also cancelled their ads as well.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 18 June 2009
Rating:

Dear North Korea: Adios Mofo's

Defense Secretary Gates orders interceptor missiles to Hawaii in case North Korea launches a missile towards Hawaii. How about just launching 300 ICBM's towards North Korea right off the bat.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 18 June 2009
Rating:

Wasilla Alaska, home of former V.P. nominee

WASILLA - Where Asinine Squirrelly Illiterate Lunatics Live Abundantly

written by A gals view, 18 June 2009
Rating:

IRA 2008 Write-Offs

Among this year's income tax write-offs, according to IRA records: Lindsay Lohan has written off the last remains of her dignity.

written by Bureau, 18 June 2009
Rating:

Obama/Michelle's Mother!

President Obama overheard speaking to Michelle: "Yo' mama's so dumb, she thought the stimulus package would come wrapped in plain brown paper."

written by Bureau, 18 June 2009
Rating:

McCain Questions Judge

John McCain questions Judge Sotomayor for a spot on the Supreme Court: Judge, just where in the US IS Soto, and how long have you been their mayor?

written by Bureau, 18 June 2009
Rating:

New party in Iran

All the protesters in Iran plan on starting the "sore losers party", they vow, they will never lose an election and if they do, they'll protest until their candidate has to be selected

written by disciple, 18 June 2009
Rating:

Obama Smoking Again

Friends say Obama is smoking again. "I told the people in Egypt that I'd start smoking again. See, 'Camels'"

written by Bureau, 18 June 2009
Rating:

Baby Flamingos Suffer from Homophobia

According to zoo keepers in London zoo, a pair of baby flamingos are afraid of the colour pink. "They have a big shock coming to them when they grow up."said the head-keeper, Hugh McBill.

written by IN SEINE, 18 June 2009
Rating:

One Of Those Years

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton who broke her elbow yesterday, lost the presidential race last year to Obama, has just been hit by a meteor!

written by Bureau, 18 June 2009
Rating:

North Korean Missiles Filled With Candy

A spokesman for the Japanese Defense Ministry said today that they believe now that North Korea's plan for launching missiles is part of, "Project Tootsie: To Share Delicious Candy With The World."

written by Nik Voelz, 18 June 2009
Rating:

Is It The Iranian Bush?

Iran is accusing the United States of meddling in its election. Immediately the Bush brothers, George and Jeb issue a statement saying that they were both in Florida and nowhere near Iran.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 18 June 2009
Rating:

The Yak, Yak, Yak, Yak, Folks

The Habitual Complainers of North America Association has had to cancel its monthly meeting due to the fact that several of its members have come down with a case of the Whine Flu.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 18 June 2009
Rating:

The Island of Funafuti Votes To Allow Gay Marriages

The tiny South Pacific island of Funafuti has approved gay marriages. The only stipulation is that the married couples will not be allowed to occupy the same hut.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 18 June 2009
Rating:

The Interesting Pockets of The Elderly Female Kangaroos

PETA has stated that they want the Australian practical joke practice of stuffing baby koala's in the pockets of elderly unsuspecting female kangaroos stopped and stopped immediately.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 18 June 2009
Rating:

"Get Your Hands Up and Hand Over That Fast Food Toy"

The Brazilian government has banned fast food meal toys saying that it sets bad eating habits. Meanwhile over in Uruguay, the government has publicly hung the Easter bunny.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 18 June 2009
Rating:

The Cool Frozen Cocaine Business Is Booming

Mexico's navy has seized more than a ton of cocaine that had been stuffed in frozen sharks. Meanwhile in Cuba, authorites found 40 Cuban cigars that had been stuffed in frozen daiquiris.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 18 June 2009
Rating:

Attention All Elderly Residents of Miami Beach

Elderly residents of Miami Beach are being warned to stay inside because of the sudden outbreak of Sunshine Flu.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 18 June 2009
Rating:

Oregon's Infamous RabbitWoman

An Oregon woman was found in a motel with a dozen rabbits. She claims to own 250 of the furry creatures. Welfare authorities are upset because she uses all of her food stamps to buy carrots.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 18 June 2009
Rating:

The Lake on Mars Named Lake Chocolate

Space scientists discover that there are signs of a lake on Mars. Meanwhile advertising executives hint that there may be a McDonald's on Uranus.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 18 June 2009
Rating:

Man Believes His Real Parents Were Squirrels

Said Mr. Roedaunt, "Well, all this time I could never explain this bushy tail. And while everybody in my family would be at the dinner table, there I'd be all by myself, up in a tree eating nuts."

written by Nik Voelz, 18 June 2009
Rating:

Madoff Forced To Cancel

Bernie Madoff announces he will not be able to attend the international meeting in Sao Paulo, Brazil of Sleazeballs Without Borders.

written by Bureau, 18 June 2009
Rating:

DC Dwellers Suffering More Mental Blocks

House Leader Nancy Pelosi says she cannot recall if she was at the meeting where male Gaza Stripper was entertaining water boarder's wives.

written by Bureau, 18 June 2009
Rating:

Larry Flint's Bombshell!

President Obama orders homeland security chief, Napolitano to look into the rumor that Larry Flint is building a dirty bomb.

written by Bureau, 18 June 2009
Rating:

Gore Proposes Solution

Al Gore: The costs of combating global warming could be offset by floating iceberg gambling casinos.

written by Bureau, 18 June 2009
Rating:

Levitra Wins Case

Makers of Levitra cleared by judge, jury of any complicity towards man's suit over hairy-palms side effect.

written by Bureau, 18 June 2009
Rating:

It's A First!

The first Native American, bi-sexual, deaf, natural blond face-transplant recipient climbs Mount Everest

written by Bureau, 18 June 2009
Rating:

Stones Rolled Out

Mick Jagger, Keith Richards having trouble rolling again says Stars Magazine. "Couple of Mossbacks" says article.

written by Bureau, 18 June 2009
Rating:

Just Happened To Happen

Recent spotting of UFOs, crop circles, alien kidnappings and probes not related, claims the US Military Department.

written by Bureau, 18 June 2009
Rating:

Gore's New Book

Al Gore says that his next book will be, "If You Can't Stop Global Warming, Get Out Of The Kitchen" instead of ...., Get Off The Pot" as previously announced, since that "could have a double meaning."

written by Bureau, 18 June 2009
Rating:

Israelis, Palestinians Agree

Israelis, Palestinians agree on request that Obama's version of the middle east peace plan be copied on Charmin.

written by Bureau, 18 June 2009
Rating:

US Man Posed As His Dead Mother

An American man posed as his dead mother for more than six years. In this time he did not say a word and kept perfectly still. When the authorities found him, he claimed that he was "a bit stiff!"

written by IN SEINE, 18 June 2009
Rating:

"Trouble In Jordan River City!"

More trouble in the Middle East after soldier's wife finds beer holder with name of Gaza Strip Club in his pocket.

written by Bureau, 18 June 2009
Rating:

Attorney Skips Passage On Reading Will

Family Attorney modestly skips over the part of the will from family's late father where he bragged about the length of his penis.

written by Bureau, 18 June 2009
Rating:

American Winner Disqualified

First American winner of the International Staring Contest disqualified after judges discover he'd been dead for several hours.

written by Bureau, 18 June 2009
Rating:

Secretary Gates Pessimistic

The United States Department of Defense Gates says "US missile shield would probably not work against an full alien invasion", from his bed in hospital ward.

written by Bureau, 18 June 2009
Rating:

NKorea Still Defiant

"I'm just your ordinary regular guy who just happened to be ruggedly handsome and successful with many, many women", says Kim Jung Il.

written by Bureau, 18 June 2009
Rating:

Cheers Them Right Up

Meteorologists say they may be able to better control hurricanes by having aircraft drop St. John's Wort into centers of tropical depressions.

written by Bureau, 18 June 2009
Rating:

Germany Officially Apologizes

Germany officially apologized yesterday at the United Nations for turning loose such men as Hitler, Himmler and Hasselhoff on the rest of mankind.

written by Bureau, 18 June 2009
Rating:

Methane Car Still Runs

Man who invented new car that runs on cow manure methane gas, claims he's already gotten 10,000 miles on his shitometer.

written by Bureau, 18 June 2009
Rating:

Saving During Hard Times

To save money in tough economic times, Ron Paul has suggested that most city dwellers can plant a few marijuana plants on their window boxes.

written by Bureau, 18 June 2009
Rating:

UK Prepares For Global Warming

The UK needs to plan now for a future that will be hotter and bring greater extremes of flood and drought, more sun-bathing says Environment Secretary Hilary Benn, while wiggling eyebrows.

written by Bureau, 18 June 2009
Rating:

Window Clearer's Surreal Fall

An American window cleaner who fell from the outside of a building six floors up has survived the "surreal" tumble with minor injuries. Apparently saw other window washer's life pass before his face.

written by Bureau, 18 June 2009
Rating:

Where's Sicily?

Italian airline Alitalia has apologized after its in-flight magazine printed a map leaving off the Mediterranean island of Sicily. "A bit premature", says global warming official.

written by Bureau, 18 June 2009
Rating:

Expense Claims Published

The expenses claims of every MP for the past four years have been published, but with some key details blacked out. Mostly the correct names matching the correct amounts.

written by Bureau, 18 June 2009
Rating:

Iran's Mass Protests

More mass protests are expected in the Iranian capital after presidential challenger Mir Hossein Mousavi urged followers to observe a day of mourning for those probably killed at today's protest.

written by Bureau, 18 June 2009
Rating:

Winnebago Posts Loss

Winnebago posts $8.6M loss in 3Q on falling sales, elderly passengers after too many "early bird specials".

written by Bureau, 18 June 2009
Rating:

Health Care Bill Delayed

Delays, disputes, hacking, coughing, loud sneezes and people jumping up and running to the john slows progress of health care bill.

written by Bureau, 18 June 2009
Rating:

PETA: Obama's Actions Disturbing

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals wants the President to try taking a more humane attitude the next time he's bedeviled by a fly in the White House. Pulling wings off also discouraged.

written by Bureau, 18 June 2009
Rating:

Dems To Pass Bill Quickly

Democrats plan to pass financial overhaul quickly, before anyone can read the fine print about huge congressional raise.

written by Bureau, 18 June 2009
Rating:

Hillary Fractures Elbow

Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton fractured her right elbow during a fall Wednesday, her chief of staff said. Meanwhile Bill Clinton is reporting three fractured ribs.

written by Bureau, 18 June 2009
Rating:

NKorea Firing Away!

North Korea may fire a missile toward Hawaii but say they have no idea exactly where it will come down.

written by Bureau, 18 June 2009
Rating:

Robin Hibbard Pregnant...

and apparently the father is someone who doesn't know who she is either.

written by Wire Piddle, 18 June 2009
Rating:

Hilary Clinton Has Cracked Her 'Funny Bone'...

in response to the continuing feud over David Letterman's misplaced sense of humor. While Ms. Clinton's elbow will be operated on next week, it is believed Letterman's infliction is terminal.

written by Wire Piddle, 18 June 2009
Rating:

In an effort to cap the spread of urban decay...

president Obama has announced that he will nuke the following U.S. cities on the weekend: Canton, Youngstown, Dayton, Cleveland; Flint, Detroit, Scranton, Springfield, Buffalo, Charleston.

written by Wire Piddle, 18 June 2009
Rating:

US President's "terror campaign" threat to old lady

There was an Obama who swatted a fly. "I don't know why he swatted a fly," admitted a White House spokesman. White supremacists issued a statement through a far-right spokesman: "Perhaps he'll die."

written by neilwatson, 18 June 2009
Rating:

Tamil Tiger Sues Sri Lanka

A Hindu Tamil Tiger suing Buddhist Sri Lanka contends the military used "excessive force" to wipe out 20,000 rebels. Human rights groups are silent as no Muslim terrorists held at GITMO are involved!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 18 June 2009
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