Order by:
Rating:

Practical Joker In White House

There's a practical joker in the White House whom many believe to be Michelle's mother. Anyway, Joe Biden awoke this morning with a small stalk of corn growing out of the top of his head.

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Nostradamus Warns Talent Judge

Nostradamus predicted old broad on British TV talent show would one day leave judge with iron skillet-shaped head.

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Camp Wedgy Opens For Summer

Nerd kid at camp wedgied and depantsed so hard that only dogs can hear him speak and they don't like what he has to say.

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Mellencamp Pissed

John Cougar Mellencamp's pissed as last of his kids pulls up stakes and moves to the big city.

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Local Village Alarmed

Local village alarmed after Dr. Frankenstein seen walking around with half Amelia Earhart, half Jimmy Hoffa-looking friend.

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Saudis Close Hooters

Hooter's employees arrested and then ran out of Saudi Arabia once they learn restaurant has nothing to do with owls.

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Oh Well, I Tried

Small child sitting on beach under beach umbrella with cap, goggles, bell around neck and heavily sun-screened while his mother gets a tan, eats cat turd buried in the sand.

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Oh, Let Me Tell You, Honey!

Gay guy punctuates the point he is making with hands flowing left then right and then shaking in the air, then skipping around person addressed.

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Trump Destroys World Peace

Miss California dethroned by Donald Trump tells reporters, "You have just seen the world's last hope for world peace crushed!"

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Biden Lacking Attention

Joe Biden: President Obama says that UFO's may be Flying Saucers who move through worm holes in space to travel here. (after quiet). Or, it could possibly be men in lawn chairs. He's not sure. Ahem!

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Economic "Ripple Effect"

California economic crisis having a "Ripple Effect" across the nation as people drop Two-Buck Chuck for $1.25 Ripple!

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Tonight: Country Music Best Lookalikes!

Study shows that the number of Country Music Awards will outnumber the number of country music performers by 2025.

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Sotomayor Breaks Ankle

After Supreme Court Justice Nominee Sotomayor breaks her right ankle, Sean Hannity points out that she's already moving to the left.

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Disappointed Zombie Leaves Limbaugh's Place

Zombie leaves Rush Limbaugh's home in Florida disheartened after Limbaugh manages to hide "half his brain tied behind his back!"

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Where's The Beef?

The family of a Michigan woman brought her to a Wendy's to celebrate her 100th birthday. She looked at her sandwich, smiled and yelled "Where's the beefffftt! Wheeerts mi teef?

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

US Airlines Losing $10B?

A new study says that this year US airlines could lose up to $10 billion dollars, and that's just in lost luggage!

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Hillary Warns NKorea

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has sent a stern warning to North Korea to stop their belligerent actions. In Texas, former president Bush stated, "Belligerent? Is that a new type of Agent Orange?"

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Picasso's Sketches Stolen

The police in France are searching for a thief who stole a notebook full of Picasso's sketches. After a police sketch artist drew a copy of one, someone paid him $3,000 for it.

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

New GM CEO

Ed Whitaker, the former chairman of AT&T, was appointed the new CEO of General Motors. After admitting he knew "nothing about cars", people reminded him that most GM products look more like tanks.

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Letterman? That Ass?

David Letterman is reported as missing. No one knows where he is but insiders say, there's an unknown ass hanging on the wall of the trophy room at Governor Sarah Palin's home in Alaska.

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

George H.W. & Son Celebrate

Former President George H.W. Bush will celebrate his 85th birthday by once again going skydiving. His son, George W. Bush will be running around below carrying what's called a "Hemorrhoid-breaker".

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Al Gore No Threat

Two US reporters have been imprisoned in North Korea and now Obama is considering sending Al Gore to negotiate for them. "We're not afraid of Gore", stated man on street. "We already bored to death."

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Gore Doing "Green" Poster

Tipper Gore completes posing for new "green" ad posters that show her hugging a tree..no, I think that's her husband, Al.

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Oh Captain, My Captain!

Captain Sullenberger finally admits that he and co-pilot were watching stewardess who wasn't wearing any underwear when they looked up and saw they were in the Hudson River!

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Bonds Not The Same

Barry Bonds' wife has filed for divorce. She claims he's not the same little guy that she married.

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Aliens Capture White House

U. S. Leader is silent. Former Presidential Pastor claims, "Them Aliens aren't going to let him talk to me."

written by FromTheBunker, 11 June 2009
Rating:

New String Theory Popular

New String Theory popular: The universe is shaped like Miss Universe wearing a string bikini!

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Resigns As Child's Godfather

Man tells family he resigns as child's godfather after placing third horse's head in his classmates bed this year.

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

"Driving Me Crazy!"

Man whose ear was hacked off and has it stitched inside his stomach while surgeons work out how to reattach it, says he's tired of hearing stomach growling.

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Quarter Of A Century Off!

How a solar system 'wobble' could make the Earth crash into Mars... but don't worry, it probably won't happen for another 25 years!

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Recession Over!

Recession 'ended two months ago', leading forecaster claims. "We've been in a depression ever since."

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Miss California Stripped Of Title

Anti-gay marriage Miss California stripped of title after breach of contract, dress, blouse and swimsuit.

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Brown: Good Old Malik

Shahid Malik admits claiming expenses for two houses at once, stealing a car, holding up a bank, farting in the face of guy in wheelchair... just 48 hours after returning to government!

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Benefits Cheat Caught

Caught on camera: Benefits cheat who claimed she couldn't walk enjoys a round of golf, chasing kids off lawn, entering Boston Marathon, climbing Mount Everest.

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Economic meltdown

Tortoise breeders are the latest hit by the economic slow down. They claim business is slow. Litter collectors on the other hand, claim business is picking up.

written by IainB, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Annual Dairy Cow Migration

The Wisconsin State Patrol warned residents to watch for migrating Dairy Cows on WI roads.

written by FromTheBunker, 11 June 2009
Rating:

UCLA Student Gets An "A"

Student at UCLA gets an "A" in philosophy after proving absolutely that the professor teaching the class does not exist!

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Shoe-Bomber On Strike!

A man jailed in the US for trying to blow up an airliner with explosives hidden in his shoes has gone on hunger strike and is already down to a size 11 1/2, court papers have revealed.

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

MP's Criticize Councils

An all-party group of MPs has criticised councils for not spotting warning signs that Icelandic banks had been set afloat on breakaway icebergs and were heading for collapse last October.

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

New Element

The ubiquitous periodic table will soon have a new addition - the "super-heavy" element 112 aka "Obama's Balls".

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Typhoons Can Cause Nutcases

Typhoons trigger almost imperceptible, slow earthquakes, which trigger volcanoes which add to eruptions and global warming, eventually resulting in full-fledged nutcases like Al Gore, researchers say.

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Easiest Solution

China has demanded the return of 17 Chinese Muslim Uighur detainees held by the United States at Guantanamo Bay. US agrees and sets them off in rafts.

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Beggars Arrested

Italian police have arrested at least four poor beggars on suspicion of planning an attack on the G8 summit of rich countries next month.

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

UN Making Swine Flu Plans

United Nations hold Swine Flu Epidemic Talks. Agres to quit calling foot soldiers, "Grunts". Leaders, movie stars quit hogging headlines.

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

The Sports Czar!

President Barack Obama creates first Sports Czar who will control the salaries of all professional baseball, football and basketball players. Steinbrenner falls off chair, breaks tail bone.

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Biden Blames Bad Hair Plugs

Vice President Joe Biden places his foot firmly into his mouth once again. Blames two hair implant plugs for growing down instead of up.

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

"Won't Be Fooled Again"

Problems of old Chrysler linger at 'new' Chrysler. "Meet the new boss...Same as the old boss", say the Who!

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Taliban Recruit More Volunteers

Pakistan kill scores of Taliban in new combat zones! Piles of them beside the roads, scattered all over mountainsides, look, there's one over there! "Everybody happy now?", asks President Zardari"

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Loud Ads Out!

The Federal Trade Commission says that RELIEF FROM LOUD TV ADS MAY BE NEAR!!!

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Seniors Back To Work

U.S. seniors hunt jobs as retirement hopes fade. So far, over twenty upper plates accidentally deep-fat fried.

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Ahmadinejad Re-election, Begins, Ends

Iranians set to vote on Ahmadinejad re-election! Thus far he's way out in front, 1-0. No one at polls yet but Ahmadinejad, guards.

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

The "Mother Of All Mother-In-Law" Plans

President Obama credits his mother-in-law being at White House for keeping him busy and on the road. "No one thought of this before."

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

On The Road Again

Obama takes health care agenda on road along with the music of Willie Nelson and family, Willie as an example of current failed health plans.

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Rio Ferdinand says "Calf is fine!"

Man United defender, Rio Ferdinand says that his calf is fine, before the European Championships. A part-time cattle farmer, Ferdinand, had one of his newly born heifers caught in a barbed wire fence.

written by norma snockers, 11 June 2009
Rating:

The Iowan Smell of Victory

The state of Iowa has banned the sports phrase, "We can smell victory." They say that it is a flat out lie, because everyone knows that you cannot smell victory. Defeat? maybe, but not victory.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 June 2009
Rating:

The Dangerous 97-Year-Old Great Great Grandmother

A 97-year-old woman who lives in New Madrid, Missouri was tasered by an NMPD officer when she refused his order to put down the cookie cutter nice and slow.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 June 2009
Rating:

The Virginian Boxer Shorts

A very talented and creative Virginia resident has just invented boxer shorts made entirely out of tobacco leaves. The only problem is that he's trying to figure out how to remove the nicotine stains.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 June 2009
Rating:

The Scandanavian Catholics Are Coming

In a move to hopefully attract more Scandanavian Catholic fans to their ball games, The San Diego Padres will be changing their name to The San Diego Fathers.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Two Brand New Not-So-Bright Galaxy Stars

Astronomers have discovered two brand new stars in the Ursa Major Galaxy. These stars appear normal but are actually not very bright. Astronomers name them Star Paris Hilton and Star Kelly Pickler.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Lindsay Lohan Back With Samantha "The Guy" Ronson

Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are apparently an item once again. Lindsay was overheard telling Samantha that this time she gets to be the guy. Ronson remarked, "Nope, I'm the guy or I don't play."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Idaho's New Prisons

The state of Idaho says that in order to save money the three new state prisons that they are building will not have iron bar cells but instead will use bars made of redwood.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Montana's New Buffalo Skinning Ordinance

Montana has just passed an ordinance that makes it illegal to be skinning a buffalo while driving.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Chris Brown Says He Be Missing Rihanna

Chris Brown confides to a close friend that he really does miss ex-girfriend Rihanna. His friend went out to a sports store and bought him a punching bag.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Sarah Palin Refers To David Letterman's Hair

David Letterman said that Sarah Palin has a slutty flight attendant look. She responded by saying, "Ya know I finally found someone who has less hair than Johnny (McCain), little Davey Letterman.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 June 2009
Rating:

The Pocatello School District Is Sure Hurting For $

Starting in September The Pocatello (Idaho) School District will be charging parents of elementary school children a 'playgroud use' fee of $7 per month to use the monkey bars, swings, and slides.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Jessica Alba The Vandalizer

Jessica Alba was caught defacing a poster that showed a great white shark. She apologized for her vandalism saying she thought that the shark was a Taliban shark.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 June 2009
Rating:

The Original Movie "Dances With Wolves"

Kevin Costner reveals that his movie Dances With Wolves was originally titled, Dancing With The Stars.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Simple Simon Cowell's Off-Broadway Play

Rosie O'Donnell will be appearing as the lead in the off Broadway play entitled, The Simon "Look If I May Be Honest" Cowell Story.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 June 2009
Rating:

Paris Gives Susan Tips

Paris Hilton Gives Susan Boyle Tips On Being Famous: "First thing you must do is make a video in a hotel room."

written by Bureau, 11 June 2009
« May 2009 June 2009 Jul 2009 »
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
1st
48
2nd
79
3rd
52
4th
56
5th
45
6th
71
7th
74
8th
58
9th
46
10th
70
11th
69
12th
45
13th
57
14th
55
15th
71
16th
58
17th
71
18th
65
19th
63
20th
52
21st
67
22nd
64
23rd
57
24th
77
25th
80
26th
94
27th
71
28th
33
29th
38
30th
82
 

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