Order by:
Rating:

Sottish Council to announce a Minimum Drinking Age

Glasgow City Council have raised the minimum drinking age to age 32 in an attempt to keep alcohol out of Scottish high schools.

written by IN SEINE, 19 July 2009
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May Already Have Mucated

Scientist are warning that the Swine Flu may have already mucated into a new Slime Flu.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
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Intelligence Panel Mostly Idiot/Savant!

Congressional Intelligence Panel: The CIA got everything wrong on Iraq because it was somehow given map and history of Saudi Arabia!

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
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Get Your Choice

President Obama proposes a new draft plan that includes paying the government 50% taxes on income or being shipped to Afghanistan!

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
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International Family Values

"International Meeting of All Religions' Family Values" turns into wild fist-swinging brawl.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
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Swine Flu Spreading

Several doctors now blame spreading of Swine Flu virus on so many computer hackers around the world.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
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Blow The Way To Go

President Obama says he blames the Baby Boomers for the greatest number of suicide bombers in history.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
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Something Funny Going On!

Third original birth certificate showing Barack Hussein Obama was born in Hawaii, surfaces!

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
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Detective Arrested Over Sex Assaults

Detective arrested over alleged sex assaults on female suspects. "It's the handcuffs. I have a problem with the handcuffs. Ask me wife"

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
Rating:

Cruise Boat Has It All

Croquet anyone? The recession busting new cruise ship (complete with real grass lawn) sails into Southampton. Even includes sound proof booth where old guys can yell at them to get off his lawn)

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
Rating:

Second Buzzard Attack

Second jogger left bloodied and bruised after buzzard attack.
City recommends showers built at intervals around jogging park!

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
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"60 Minutes" Changes Name

After all these years CBS' famous show "60 Minutes" to change it's name to "The Silverback Hour".

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
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Eternal Youth Discovered?

Secrets of a woman's wrinkles revealed as Nigerian scientists discover genes linked to eternal youth!



written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
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Peanut Cure Can Help Others

Peanut allergy 'cure' could also stop reactions to milk, the "Can't-help-it's when you can't help it" and gluten.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
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Superfoods Not Quite Quite!

Revealed: Why 'superfoods' like cranberry juice, black tea and rhino horn powder don't live up to the marketing hype

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
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Demands Of John Hutton

Former defence secretary John Hutton calls for more manpower, tooth brushes, toilet paper and helicopters in Afghanistan, especially toilet paper!

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
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Immigration Explodes

Home Secretary rejects cap on immigration amid forecasts population will pass that of India by 2040.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
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Minister Driven To Religion

City minister Lord Myners, driven to religion after bonus culture of bankers leaves him horrified, claims that he can heal people!

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
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Celebs, Nerds Scammed

Celebrities and sports stars among 600 mostly nerds scammed by £80million London Fonzi scheme!

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
Rating:

Partical Board The Seller

The construction of new homes in the US rose 3.6% between May and June to the highest level in seven months, official figures have shown. Carpenters credit new plastic coated particle board.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
Rating:

Shark Takes Truck Bed Instead.

Ten-foot Shark makes it through checkers at JFK Airport but refuses to pay for six seats on airplane.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
Rating:

India eager to sign CTBT!

India's keen to sign the Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty. "By banning school tests we can ensure universal primary education!" India's Education Minister told visiting US Secy of State Hillary Clinton.

written by Ghatotkacha, 19 July 2009
Rating:

NYC A Little Shaken

Slight earth tremor hits New York City. Over 300 bodies unearthed in Central Park.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
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US Government Sued

Presidential aid sues the US government over getting a hernia from carrying in the new book of Tax increases. Hopes to win enough to pay his new taxes.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
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McDonalds Trying To Help

McDonalds, in order to help out during the present economical crisis, introduces the Five For A Buck, McGristle Burgers.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
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Al Queda Contributes Three Billion to Obama Reelection Campaign

Amount is smaller than the money they gave him for the 2008 election.

written by Jalapenoman, 19 July 2009
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Winehouse Weds Statue

Much to no one's surprise, singer Amy Winehouse has wedded the statue of Rodin's Thinker. The couple expect to spend their honeymoon on the spot there in Paris.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
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New Gore Movie

Al Gore gets ready to star in his next movie, "Frankenstein, 2009", The Environmental Monster!

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
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40th Anniversary of Moonwalk to be Observed with Michael Jackson Concert Footage

Did you expect anything intelligent after the media circus of the past few weeks?

written by Jalapenoman, 19 July 2009
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Dylan Being Sued

Three of the remaining drunken band who were in studio screaming & yelling in the background of Dylan's hit "Rainy Day Women 12 & 35", thinking Dylan was practicing, sue for half the song's profits.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
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But It's Art

Progressive, alternative Bluegrass Raggae Group features naked Mon with dreadlocks whizzing on harmonica, while his two dogs crap on banjo, fiddle.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
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He's Still Got It!

An Aging Mick Jagger stumbles during attempted strut across stage, throws out his penis!

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
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Most Great Ones Were Alcoholic, Drug Addicts

Alcoholic drug addict, down to his last few bucks, still believes he can write the Great American Novel on a roll of toilet paper.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
Rating:

Aids Scare Still There

The aids scare has the English & US adult industries grinding to a halt, according to the latest pole.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
Rating:

Upon hearing news of Walter Cronkite's Death, Jackson family reacts by saying:

"...it wasn't as important as Michael cuz this was another old white guy." And that's the way it is!

written by Jalapenoman, 19 July 2009
Rating:

Maybe It's For Good

Magician David Blaine receives largest applause yet after failing to reappear at same spot he disappeared from one week ago yesterday.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
Rating:

Homeles Man Taken Care Of

Homeless man in New York City enjoys still a another free cup of coffee from photographer who won $10,000 for best B&W Photo Award for photo, "Homeless Man Drinking Free Coffee".

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
Rating:

Largest French Fry Sold!

World's largest French Fry sells on EBay for $250. However, grease-heavy package costs almost $900 to ship.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
Rating:

Bridges In US Unsteady

Study of US bridges determine that 50% are out-dated and unsafe. However, report states that if you make it half way across, odds are very much improved that you'll complete the crossover.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
Rating:

Obama Finds Sticker Mesages

President upset on finding stickers on back of his coats he wore to G-8 & other overseas visits, that stated, "Naive Idiot, Will Compromise On Anything. Take Advantage While You Can!"

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
Rating:

"Running Of The Bulls" Reconsidered

After the recent goring death of a runner, Pamplona, Spain officials consider "Running Of The Mad Cows "next year.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
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Court Received Faulty Info?

The US Supreme Court admits that they received faulty intelligence in deciding the 2000 Presidential election. "We were told that Al Gore was a environmental nutjob tree hugger says Justice Stevens.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
Rating:

Helicopters Money Already Spent

David Cameron has said the failure to supply more helicopters to British troops in Afghanistan is "a scandal". However, officials say that money was spent on MP vacations, extra homes.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
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Milan Drinking Ban

Will Milan teenage drinking ban work? "With all the free weed growing in the flower pots, we think so", say official.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
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First Sunday Crossings

The controversial first Sunday ferry sailing from Stornoway on Lewis to mainland Scotland will go ahead as planned, the operators said. Ferry brings preacher aboard to do sermons during crossings.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
Rating:

Election Called A Charade

The main challengers to coup leader Mohamed Abdelaziz have denounced Mauritania's presidential election as a "charade" and demanded an inquiry. However, the first Charade Parade is scheduled Tuesday.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
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Talks Stall In Three Countries.

Honduran rivals in talks deadlocked. Talks in Mexico are dopelocked. Meanwhile, talks in Jamaica are dreadlocked.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
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Clinton Discussing Weather In India

US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has arrived in Delhi, with climate change set to top her agenda. So far, most agree that it's the humidity, not the heat.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
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Mexico Drug War Worsens

New escalation in Mexico drug war as a hug battle takes place in San Antonio, Texas, at an old mission.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
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Toxic Waste Being Returned

The UK is working with Brazilian authorities to return more than 1,400 tons of toxic waste, the Environment Agency said. "Let's hope the old boat doesn't spring a leak out there" stated Brit official.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
Rating:

Porsche Deal With Volkswagen

Report: Porsche near deal with Volkswagen. "Still a few Bugs to work out, says Porsche CEO.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
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California Considers Options

Deal possible Sunday on California budget, including seven years of servitude to Mexico.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
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Cheating SC Gov. Expects To Be Better

Cheating SC gov says God will make him better, (probably by kicking his ass all the way to North Carolina)

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
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Sotomayor Adds Wisdom

Sotomayor would lend different experience to court. "A wise Latino woman knows more than those other off-brand eight."

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
Rating:

California Crisis Hits Schools

California's Crisis Hits Its Prized Universities. Southern Cal, University Of California, UCLA cut football season to six games.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
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Astronauts Install Porch, Rocking Chairs

Spacewalk Day: Astronauts install new porch on the lab, greenhouse out back where they can grow fresh veggies from hydroponic recycled piss.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
Rating:

Ashes Stolen - Cricket Cancelled

Scotsman Jock Cameron MacPherson so fed up with cricket being on the television all the time has admitted he has stolen the ashes. Cricket has been suspended because they have nothing to play for.

written by SPECTRUM, 19 July 2009
Rating:

Pope To Use Other Arm

Thousands in Italy suffer broken bones after the Pope blesses them with with arm in cast.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
Rating:

Killer On Porch

Man on porch charged after 6 slain in Tenn., Ala. Police say it would have been even worse if He's gotten off that porch.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
Rating:

Bad Sushi Identified

The Center for Science in the Public Interest warns people not to eat old rubber tires disguised as Sushi. They want all Japanese restaurants to post their Sushi ingredients on a restroom wall.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 July 2009
Rating:

New State Taxes Considered

In a hurry to raise money, California considering marijuana tax, Kentucky: horse racing tax, Utah: Wives tax.

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
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California To Legalizes Marijuana

California considering legalizing, taxing marijuana to pay off huge deficit, will also adopt British tradition of "High Tea".

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
Rating:

Sotomayor Quizzed By Democrats Also

Judge Sotomayor's first question from a democrat at hearing for Supreme Court Justice, "Are you now or have you ever been a member of the Republican Party?"

written by Bureau, 19 July 2009
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5th
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10th
67
11th
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12th
56
13th
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68
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60
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18th
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