Order by:
Rating:

I was branded a perverted sex offender

complains, as he is driven to hospital burns unit by Police.

written by Roy Turse, 24 February 2009
Rating:

Barry Bond's Blows Chance To Make It Into The Hall of Fame

Barry Bonds has stated that he has turned down an offer to work as a security guard at The Baseball Hall of Fame Museum in Cooperstown, New York.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 February 2009
Rating:

$900 Million To Re-Re-Rebuild Gaza

The Gaza Strip's reconstruction will likely top $900 million, a United States official said Tuesday. Most of the money going for rebuilding the same buildings for the third or fourth time.

written by Bureau, 24 February 2009
Rating:

Nicole Richie Having Flashbacks

Close friends and loved ones say privately that Nicole Richie has never gotten over that 82-minute stretch in jail over a year ago.

written by Bureau, 24 February 2009
Rating:

Ice Storm's Far-Reaching Effects

Not only did the early February ice storm in the South bring down many buildings and trees, an estimated $500,000 worth of Christmas decorations were destroyed.

written by Bureau, 24 February 2009
Rating:

Seek Common Grounds

Hamas militants and Fatah semi-militants to meet today to seek common grounds for hating and despising each other.

written by Bureau, 24 February 2009
Rating:

"And Another One's Gone"

While you were reading that last Snippet, two more of President Obama's cabinet nominees excused themselves because of not paying their taxes.

written by Bureau, 24 February 2009
Rating:

The American Express Christmas Present

Since American Express announced that they will pay their cardholders $300 to close their account, the request for a new American Express credit card has gone up by 10,000 percent!

written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 February 2009
Rating:

University Challenge

From next year, the contest will include an interactive element allowing viewers to rate the contestants on their 'slapability quotient'

written by Roy Turse, 24 February 2009
Rating:

"Welcome Amigos To Jerry Springer's Mexico!"

U.S college students are advised not to go to Mexico for their spring break. Due to the rival drug cartel violence Mexico is now kind of like the Jerry Springer Show but with bullets!

written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 February 2009
Rating:

The New Macy's...Not Like The Old Macy's!

Macy's announces 4th quarter loses of 49%. The CEO says they will discontinue their valet parking, fire all of their in-store psychiatrists, and start charging customers a $10 shopping fee.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 February 2009
Rating:

The Legs of Thailand

Thousands of protesters are calling for Thailand's prime minister to dissolve the Thai Parliament and hold new elections. He has agreed and says he will gladly welcome a new Thai-High Parliament.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 February 2009
Rating:

Office Depot & Lots More

Office Depot reports a $1.54 billion loss in it's 4th quarter. A consulting firm will totally restructure the operation and change the company name to 'Office Depot, Donuts, & Deep-Fried Twinkies.'

written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 February 2009
Rating:

NASA's $273.4 Million 'Space Probe' Malfunction

NASA's Orbiting Carbon Observatory spacecraft was launched but failed to reach orbit due to a 'space probe' malfunction. Officials reveal that they are desperately trying to find the receipt.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 February 2009
Rating:

Target's Bull's Eye Just Got Smaller

The Target Corporation's 4th quarter profits fell 41 percent. The board of directors approves to change the retail giants name to 'Off-Target.'

written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 February 2009
Rating:

Rare Jaguars Showing Up In Mexico

Jaguars, rarely seen for many years in the mountains of Mexico, are starting to show up again. Officials credit the fortunes accumulated by drug lords for being able to buy expensive cars.

written by Bureau, 24 February 2009
Rating:

CNN picks up option on Israeli-Palestinian conflict for another season

Although viewership has slipped since the Israeli withdrawal from Gaza, CNN claims that they are confident that audience numbers will once again rise given Israel's recent swing to the right.

written by the Fibber, 24 February 2009
Rating:

N. Korea Sending Up Another Missile

North Korea says it is ready to send up another missile but this time they may have to land it in South Korea.

written by Bureau, 24 February 2009
Rating:

Taliban Given Asylum, Where They Belong

Pakistan has created a safe haven and given asylum for Taliban where they can safely behead and blow up people at will, receive 1072 virgins if they wish.

written by Bureau, 24 February 2009
Rating:

CEO's Settling For $500,000

90% of nation's CEO's agree to only $500,000 per year bonus, mostly those who's companies have declared bankruptcy and closed.

written by Bureau, 24 February 2009
Rating:

Airport Lines Slower Than Ever

Airlines complain that Old Farts are slowing things down at airports by getting back in line where they're being felt over by female security guards.

written by Bureau, 24 February 2009
Rating:

Newly-discovered skin condition causing sore red palms blamed on excessive games console use

This should not be confused with the condition prevalent among TheSpoof.com writers that only affects one hand.

written by Roy Turse, 24 February 2009
Rating:

Going Nowhere, But At A Record Speed

Republicans say Obama's stimulus package includes high speed rail lines for Bridge Going Nowhere.

written by Bureau, 24 February 2009
Rating:

Worse Than Great Depression

Experts say U.S. economic crisis worse that that of The Great Depression but not as bad as The Great Mass Suicide.

written by Bureau, 24 February 2009
Rating:

Book Danger!

A man in Calcutta was found in a sorry state; cold, hungry and tired after buying a new book: "The Art of Leviation" by Mahatma Goat, a Hindu Swami. He said "It kept me up all night!"

written by IN SEINE, 24 February 2009
Rating:

BBC radio is reporting that an elusive subspecies of cheetah has been photographed using a hidden camera trap.

This prompted turmoil in the Commons as MPs scrambled to contact their lawyers.

written by Roy Turse, 24 February 2009
Rating:

Chimps speak out

Chimps protest cartoon depicting them as policy makers in the American Government. They strongly assert that their intelligence is higher than that.

written by disciple, 24 February 2009
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