Order by:
Rating:

Obama: Worse Behind Us

US President Obama said a better than expected job report may signal that the worst "may be behind us. But that doesn't mean it don't stink!"

written by Bureau, 07 August 2009
Rating:

Cuba Wiped Out!

Cash-strapped Cuba says toilet paper running short as many have resorted to cigar-making tobacco leaves.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2009
Rating:

No Sense Of Humor

Newport, Rhode Island pastor who enjoys an occasional joke, fired by all five whoopie-cushioned deacons.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2009
Rating:

World Of Shit!

Airplane Terrorist gets the runs just before the plane leaves, blowing up just as he sat on commode. All three airport janitors resign.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2009
Rating:

Copy Cat Killer Convicted

Convicted Copy-Cat Killer to be executed right after the original killer in the same chair.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2009
Rating:

Probably More Around

To their horror, Greenpeace snoopers find 100,000 unsold Time Magazines with front page photo of Obama in land fill.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2009
Rating:

A Little Tourist Extra

New York City tourists don't realize that the man trying to catch the tour bus falling after his pants suddenly drop is a part of the tour.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2009
Rating:

Obama Ignores Criticism

President Barack Hussein Obama refuses to dignify any remarks of his being snooty, elitist!

written by Bureau, 07 August 2009
Rating:

Banned Book Attraction

Eighteen-year-old David Johnson of New Albany, Indiana becomes 10,000th student to completely read all the banned books from school libraries.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2009
Rating:

Janitor Looking For Excitement

School janitor is accused of sprinkling granddaddy long legs spiders in women's volleyball gym shower.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2009
Rating:

To Balance Things Out

Computer says that the next US Supreme Court Justice should be either a Mormon Native American or a Gay Eskimo.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2009
Rating:

Artist In Spotlight

A talented artist suffering from a rare personality disorder produces 12 different kinds of paintings depending on which personality is 'in control', is turning a few heads.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2009
Rating:

Sunseekers Driven Buggy

Sunseekers run for cover as millions of ladybirds swarm over seaside resorts, bugging bathers and lifeguards alike.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2009
Rating:

Obama Names 128 U.S. Cities As "NO FART ZONES"

"Farting in one of the biggest threats to the environment, and it must stop," said the President. "We selected the worst offending cities," he said. There will be a $1000 fine per fart or jail time.

written by tlmedia, 07 August 2009
Rating:

"A Hunka, Hunka Burning Love"

Greek 'heroine' who 'set fire to drunk Briton's genitals' with a flaming Sambuca to stand trial.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2009
Rating:

Modern Parents Better

Modern parents may be more stressed but they are doing a much better job than their predecessors, those cannibalistic Neanderthals, study claims.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2009
Rating:

31 Announcements, 32 Minute Journey

Train passengers bombarded with 31 announcements on 32-minute journey, miss first five stops while listening carefully.


written by Bureau, 07 August 2009
Rating:

Another Monkey Trial

Taxpayer funds £20,000 court case to prosecute man for stealing 25p banana, and he is found not guilty. Prosecutor may apeel the verdict.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2009
Rating:

Clinton Admits Fear

Former President Bill Clinton admits that he was a little bit afraid during his discussion with North Korean leader Kim Jong Il after Kim described something as "being no bigger than a head basket".

written by Bureau, 07 August 2009
Rating:

Earth Not All That Warming

World's temperatures have only reason one half of a degree in the past 200 years say team of scientists. Gore demands a recount!

written by Bureau, 07 August 2009
Rating:

Fewer Cur Than Expected

US cuts fewer jobs than expected. Tiger Woods cuts fewer farts than expected.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2009
Rating:

More Against Obama's Health Care Plan

Ventriloquists' Dummies shout down Senator making speech in favor of socialize medicine. Say they're tired of all the double-talk.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2009
Rating:

Missouri Man Does Not Have Bird Flu

Clinton County, Missouri man does not have the Bird Flu says doctor. Town had him tarred and feathered for stealing a chicken.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2009
Rating:

Forty Years Ago Today

Forty years ago today, one of the pop world's most infamous and imitated album covers was shot in a little side street in north London as the Fab Four, with Paul already dead, crossed Abbey Road.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2009
Rating:

More Of Clinton's Work

A pregnant Briton jailed for life in Laos for heroin smuggling has arrived back in the UK. Yep, it was the work of Bill Clinton once again.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2009
Rating:

Military Improving Defence

Plans to improve defence orders by the military awaiting the arrival of defence posts.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2009
Rating:

There's A Train A-Coming

Great Train Robber Ronnie Biggs has been formally released from prison after being granted freedom on compassionate grounds and live out the rest of his days upon the Peace Train.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2009
Rating:

Doctor Cleared Of Bombing

The Home Office is no longer seeking to deport a doctor cleared of plotting the failed car bomb attacks on London and Glasgow Airport. "Just so long as he plotted it to fail."

written by Bureau, 07 August 2009
Rating:

The Beet Goes On

Drinking beetroot juice boosts stamina and could help people exercise for up to 16% longer, a UK study suggests, "as long as you're exercising at a steady beet."

written by Bureau, 07 August 2009
Rating:

Cannibalism Theory

Cannibalism theory over British bone-find. Argument over who found the bone led one archeologist to apparently eat his rival, say police.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2009
Rating:

Massive Website Attacks

'Massive attack' strikes many websites but so far, The Poof has escaped without cucumbers.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2009
Rating:

Abdul Receiving Many Offers

Abdul says she's receiving 'many wonderful' offers since announcing her departure from 'American Idol', a few of them from TV networks, movies.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2009
Rating:

NFL Cutting Down On Tweets

Some NFL teams clamp down on tweets. Several linemen say that if they can't have their special tweets like tandy bars, they're going back home.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2009
Rating:

Hackers Attack Twitter, Facebook

Hackers attack Twitter, Facebook also slows down with many photographs sporting big handlebar mustaches.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2009
Rating:

Two More Tough Years In Afghanistan

Adviser: US has 2 more tough years in Afghanistan. After that, mostly fair to middling years during next 25.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2009
Rating:

Nurse Of The Year No Nurse?

'Nurse of the Year' charged with not being a nurse. Number of males protest, "Give her the award. She sure nursed us!"

written by Bureau, 07 August 2009
Rating:

Swine Flu Advice

Feds to issue new swine flu advice to schools. "Kids, take our warning seriously, and Just Say No!"

written by Bureau, 07 August 2009
Rating:

Clunkers Await Being Disposed Of

Long lines of clunkers await being killed at scrap yards and so are their old cars.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2009
Rating:

A Complete Coincidence

Leading Democrat in the House who has rebuffed Republican efforts to subpoena records of a mortgage program for favored borrowers at Countrywide Financial Corp, got HIS home loans from that lender.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2009
Rating:

Women Drinking More

Experts: Women are drinking more, number of DUIs are up and so are their skirts.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2009
Rating:

Another Salmonella Outbreak

USDA: Salmonella illnesses prompt major beef recall, also all those baby salmon, just to be on the safe side.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2009
Rating:

Fewer Layoffs Expected

Fewer layoffs expected says the US Department of Labor, as not all that many people still have their jobs.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2009
Rating:

Pakistan Looking Ahead

Pakistan says Taliban chief is probably dead. At $5Million bounty on his head, a huge head search is now under way.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2009
Rating:

Congress Gives US Taxpayers the Bird

Congress has just spent $120m on private jet airplanes, like auto CEO's! Taxpayers are paying for this "pork" while they figure out where to get $50 to pay for their kid's back to school sneakers.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 August 2009
Rating:

US Environmental Groups to Boycott H1N1 Flu Vaccine

Environmentalists will not take the H1N1 vaccine in the fall. A spokesman said "the product is made with non-green energy or energy is used to ship vaccines from abroad, we must sacrifice ourselves."

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 August 2009
Rating:

ACLU Sues on Behalf of a Convicted Murderer

ACLU indicated today it is suing the Federal Government on behalf of a convicted murderer. The first amendment allows individuals the right to totally express themselves, unrestricted by government.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 August 2009
Rating:

Rabble Rousers Reported

A list of rabble rousers was provided to the White House blog site today. The names included Thomas Jefferson, George Washington, Thomas Paine, John Adams, James Madison and Benjamin Franklin.


written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 August 2009
Rating:

"Bucks for Boobs" Program

As "Cash for Clunkers" winds down, "Bucks for Boobs" Program gathers momentum. The government will pay $200 per boob for non-green plastic implants, when replaced with squishy Algae based implants.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 August 2009
Rating:

Obama To Send Troops?

President Obama considers sending in the Obese Police as asses spread in Mississippi!

written by Bureau, 07 August 2009
Rating:

Human Cloning Revealed

A startling revelation became public today, as a science journal made public the existence of human cloning. All congressional far left liberal Democrats on both coasts have Nancy Pelosi's DNA!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 August 2009
Rating:

Rosie Reveals Why She Was Let Go

Rosie O'Donnell finally told reporters why she was let go by The View. It was like we figured, steroids.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2009
Rating:

Trump Thumped

Donald Trump was slightly injured Thursday when a rouge woodchuck tried to mate with the thing on his head.

written by Bureau, 07 August 2009
« Jul 2009 August 2009 Sep 2009 »
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42
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50
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26
11th
29
12th
32
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18th
54
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