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Rating:

16 Members of "Living Chessboard Theater" Dead in Apparent Mass Suicide

Members left collective suicide note which recorded their agony with the declaration, "We were just pawns".

written by Agatha Bloom, 05 August 2009
Rating:

David Carradine Christmas Ornament Pulled From Shelves...

...not only is it creepy to hang it from the tree, but the blinking penis is a little too much.

written by Mr. Staypuf, 05 August 2009
Rating:

Miley Cyrus Very Sick?

Miley Cyrus might not perform tonight in her Hannah Montana concert tour as she said she was "very sick" because of the Selena Gomez-scandal.

written by Mig93, 05 August 2009
Rating:

Wet T-Shirt Contest Called off!!

A wet T-shirt contest due to be held at Chipping Sodbury old folks home was called off today due to lack of support.

written by IN SEINE, 05 August 2009
Rating:

Gore's Behind Really Big!

Al Gore finally catches up on cancelling all his carbon footprints but still way behind in his carbon assprints!

written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
Rating:

Michael Phelps Denies Relationship With Whores

Michael Phelps has clearly stated this morning that he "would never date whores"... Good to know.

written by Mig93, 05 August 2009
Rating:

Looks Like Same Artist

Person who created Obama Joker poster with "Socialism" under it apparently the same one who now has out Alfred E. Newman Tiger Woods poster with "What Me Fart?".

written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
Rating:

Most Americans, Brits Optimistic

A new poll shows that most Americans, British are optimistic about "What little future we have left."

written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
Rating:

Last HPHSTFGMC Member Dies

The last member of the Haters Of President Harry S. Truman For Firing General MacArthur Club dead at 89.

written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
Rating:

VP Office Now Safe

Vice President's office that was cleared out yesterday because of Anthrax powder discovered in Joe Biden's desk, says it's OK to return. Powder was only cocaine.

written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
Rating:

NASA Reports Break In

NASA headquarters has admitted that during Sunday night while those occupying the space station, someone broke in and stole a the recycled piss machine.

written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
Rating:

Slick Willie To The Rescue

Ex-president Bill Clinton greased the way for the release of 2 female American journalists held by North Korea. When they discovered how "hard" it was going to be flying back, both begged to return.

written by TomFoolery, 05 August 2009
Rating:

Dad & Daughter

Ryan O'Neil has several pics of himself with daughter Tatum to make sure he doesn't try to hit on her again at the next funeral

written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
Rating:

Signal From Space Arrives!

Scientists excited about finally getting a signal from outer space, but all it said was, "Mars Rover, Go Home! Home, Home Home Home Home!"

written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
Rating:

Stag Parties Not Welcome

British stag parties not welcome, says Riga mayor after catching drunks urinating in the street, on two passed out chums in gutter.

written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
Rating:

First High-Flying Pic

First picture of high-flying City banker who threw himself in front of express train show him flapping away over Big Ben.

written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
Rating:

Heavy Drinking Apparently Bad

British Doctors determine that heavy drinking 'can double the risk of cancer, vision'!


written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
Rating:

Clinton Denies Apology

Hillary Clinton denies husband Bill apologised to Kim Jong-Il to secure release of jailed U.S. journalists from North Korea. "He only had to sing, 'I'm A Little Teapot'Song!"

written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
Rating:

Fighting Ears And Nose

Love rival's ear torn off in bedroom fight with BBC historian as historian's nose found in a book.

written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
Rating:

Top Judge Faces Sack

Top judge faces sack for speaking out about immigrants abusing benefits system, and get this: The VERY SAME SACK immigrants used to sneak into country! Believe it or not!

written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
Rating:

Cold Case Solved

Stone Age cold case solved as human's spear found to kill Neanderthal man. "Glad we can finally take this one off our books", says police chief.


written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
Rating:

Flu Worker Fired After Catching Flu

Swine flu call centre worker sacked, after catching swine flu.
"She set a piss-poor example for others", states boss.

written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
Rating:

Halifax Mortgage Lender Puzzled

House prices are now rising, according to the latest survey from the Halifax mortgage lender. But even after this, there are still no buyers.

written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
Rating:

Loan Sharp Jailed

A loan shark who made almost £3m by charging clients up to 2,437% interest has been jailed for five years, should he last that long, with his old customers.

written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
Rating:

Anthem Insults Muslims

An anthem sung by fans of the German football club FC Schalke 04 has drawn protests from Muslims because of its reference to the Prophet Muhammad. Irish limerick not all that well received either.

written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
Rating:

Iran's President's Oath

Defiant Iran president takes oath. "I want every one of those protesters jailed and shot."

written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
Rating:

"Obama" Now In Slang Dictionary

Obama is an entry in the latest slang dictionary: "Tiger Woods cut an "Obama" at the Buick Open over the weekend."

written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
Rating:

#2's Wife #3 Killed

Officials: Number three wife of Pakistani Taliban leader # 3 killed in northern Pakistan.

written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
Rating:

Tea For Two

Doctors baffled by Indian village of over 200 sets of twins. Say that tea could be the reason for the twos.

written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
Rating:

Abdul Leaving Idol Apparently With Sad Heart

Paula Abdul says she's quitting 'Idol' with a sad heart. "I'm quitting Idol with a sad heart", she announces.

written by Bureau, 05 August 2009
Rating:

Scots claim have 'invented' Chicken Tikka Masala

Not satisfied with claims that the English were the ones who invented haggis, they are now picking a fight with the Indians by claiming that they invented Chicken Tikka Masala.

written by IN SEINE, 05 August 2009
Rating:

Orangutans Blow Kisses to Ward off Predators

Naturalists have discovered that orangutans blow kisses to ward off predators. In the same way, Scotsman like Gordon Ramsay will ward off predators with a 'Glasgow kiss'.

written by IN SEINE, 05 August 2009
Rating:

God Orders Contents "Shaken, Not Stirred"

Continental Airlines flight 128 happy to oblige.

written by Agatha Bloom, 05 August 2009
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