Order by:
Rating:

Yorkshire Ripper wants Scottish jail transfer!

Peter Sutcliffe reckons he's next up for some traditional Scottish compasssionate justice and sod the bleedin' victims' relatives...

written by queen mudder, 20 August 2009
Rating:

Reagan A Zombie

Former President Ronald Reagan comes back to life as a zombie, looking for food. "Kidneys! KIDNEYS!"

written by Bureau, 20 August 2009
Rating:

100 Years & Counting

The Chicago Cubs baseball players suddenly pelted hard by snowballs out of hell.

written by Bureau, 20 August 2009
Rating:

Leaf-Turning Boring

Former alcoholic derelict celebrates ten full years of being fun free.

written by Bureau, 20 August 2009
Rating:

Cops keeping mum about 'Wills & Harry did the gems heist'

Two masked men arrested today in the $65m bling snatch have been identified as Princes William and Harry, 'working for their Granny' after she lost the Crown Jewels in the Madoff fiasco.

written by queen mudder, 20 August 2009
Rating:

Lockerbie bomber compassion erupts as US Senator Ted Kennedy demands flight to Libya!

A miracle-cure recovery awaits Kennedy in Tripoli as his brain tumor vanishes along with Megrahi's rectal equivalent...

written by queen mudder, 20 August 2009
Rating:

Arctic Seamen pirates demand Scottish justice!

The pirates who seized the Russian nuke bomb carrier want to be tried by a Scots court sitting in the Netherlands and a great big dollop of that famous compassion...

written by queen mudder, 20 August 2009
Rating:

Sugar 'n' spice 'n' all things nice.....

......that's what Caster Sugar Semen-ya's made of!

written by queen mudder, 20 August 2009
Rating:

Sudden miraculous surge of spontaneous Scottish compasssion?

Nah, the Royal Bank of Scotland's $3 billion overdraft just needed a swipe. Expect 30 new RBS branches to open in Tripoli, Beghazi and the Libyan/Israeli (WTF?) border in time for Yom Kippur...

written by queen mudder, 20 August 2009
Rating:

Miracle recovery as Lockerbie bomber's terminal arse tumor vanishes!

AbdelBasset Ali al-Megrahi says a $10 million book and movie deal created such a huge surge of endorphins that the ugly bum cancer just plain melted!

written by queen mudder, 20 August 2009
Rating:

Rogue M I5 spook Shayler evicted, asks for plane to Libya

Shayler, 69, told UK TV news today that the Hackhurst Farm, Abinger Hammer squat had given him a proctological lump up the arse just like AbdelBasset Ali Al-Megharhi's...where's that compassionate EasyJet ticket?

written by queen mudder, 20 August 2009
Rating:

Small Boy Pulled To Safety

Police in Cleveland rescue small boy from obese woman's ass after he fell off lifeguard's ladder and got tangled in her thong.

written by Bureau, 20 August 2009
Rating:

A Wall Street Rally?

The National Bank of Nigeria has announced that it's profits were up a full 25% in the sixth quarter.

written by Bureau, 20 August 2009
Rating:

Nkorea Seeking Removal

President Obama said today that he hopes Bill Clinton's talks with North Korea, bringing home journalists, will allow the US to remove them from the Official Shit List.

written by Bureau, 20 August 2009
Rating:

Viagra Maker Recieves Special Honor

The Pfizer Company, makers of Viagra, received special recognition by congress today, for helping small firms.

written by Bureau, 20 August 2009
Rating:

New Hearing Aid

New hearing aid from Acme Company of Coyote Falls will allow millions to hear themselves fart for the first time in a decade or more. "It's a miracle", stated one old lady as she ripped one off.

written by Bureau, 20 August 2009
Rating:

As Time Goes By

That youngest Brady kid was elected today to become the next spokesperson for AARP.

written by Bureau, 20 August 2009
Rating:

Plus or Minus 3%

New Gallop Poll reveals that up to 50% of all persons polled lie about their opinions.

written by Bureau, 20 August 2009
Rating:

The Gropes Of Wrath

California economy is sinking further and further into the pits as Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger continues to grope his way around the state.

written by Bureau, 20 August 2009
Rating:

Coolest On Record

This just in: Last year, 2008, was the coolest year in recorded history say hipsters.

written by Bureau, 20 August 2009
Rating:

Stole Their Tickets Also

Four scalpers were arrested last night just before Atlanta Braves baseball game with the Mets.

written by Bureau, 20 August 2009
Rating:

Five Cars Gone

Holidaymakers all at sea as high tides drag FIVE cars off the beach. "I can still hear their little cries of 'Please step away from the vehicle' alarms", stated one witness!



written by Bureau, 20 August 2009
Rating:

Nearly Took My Head Off

Miracle escape for City workers as giant glass window falls from 17th floor onto street. Sixteen attorneys were lying nearby saying they were hurt but changed their mind after seeing video camera.

written by Bureau, 20 August 2009
Rating:

Apples Not Garden Waste?

Householder stunned after council refuses to empty his garden waste bin, because it had APPLES inside. "Next week I'm going to shit in it & say it's fertilizer."

written by Bureau, 20 August 2009
Rating:

Afghan elections a success, bollocks! not with one arm or leg it ain't!!

Corrupt bastards observing the Afghan elections are saying it's a success! Bomb blast victims with one leg or arm voting deny it, they only received 1/2 a vote the other 1/2 going to the Taliban!

written by Jaggedone, 20 August 2009
Rating:

348th Bigfoot On Film!

Man living in northern Minnesota who's a camera hound has raw footage of Bigfoot which shows grubs between his toes.

written by Bureau, 20 August 2009
Rating:

It's A Skunk, No, It's Superfunk!

Man who fell into New Jersey sewage plant drum becomes the world's funkiest Superhero!

written by Bureau, 20 August 2009
Rating:

Allah Has 99 Attributes?

It is alleged that Allah has 99 attributes. However, nobody knows what they are because it is forbidden to depict all of them. It is thought that 72 of them are virgins.

written by IN SEINE, 20 August 2009
Rating:

Fox News is Number 1!

Among people with extreme mental deficiencies.

written by Daniel Williams, 20 August 2009
Rating:

Ms.Clause Affair

Ms.Clause having an affair with rudolp when asked about it said he makes me light up when we are together

written by Alien2012, 20 August 2009
Rating:

Thief Determined Not to Be Caught by the Filth!

A shoplifter was caught on CCTV in Sunderland carrying an entire box of Imperial Leather soap today. A police spokesman said; "he was determined not to be caught and so he made a clean getaway!"

written by IN SEINE, 20 August 2009
Rating:

Liberace, That Old Flame

Liberace's ashes shot into space a couple of years ago in a capsule, returns to earth's atmosphere with the fabulous pianist leaving in a blaze of glory.

written by Bureau, 20 August 2009
Rating:

"Joker" In White House Upsetting Many

Latest Government Healthcare Plan reportedly causing White House a lot of hand wringing over all the town hall finger-pointing, painting.

written by Bureau, 20 August 2009
Rating:

Worse Than FEMA?

The Internal Revenue Service is having problems as new wireless society gets mired down in red tape, paper work, but cash incentives, 2001 refunds should be out any day now.

written by Bureau, 20 August 2009
Rating:

Flasher Looked Like The Flash

Several men on a bench in Central Park in NYC say a streaker has broken the 100-yard dash recorded while being pursued by rottweiler.

written by Bureau, 20 August 2009
Rating:

Pirates Attacked

Somalia pirates say they are getting bad publicity after being attacked by Swift Boat Veterans.

written by Bureau, 20 August 2009
Rating:

Semenya To Take Test

New world 800m champion Caster "Pat" Semenya has been asked to take a gender test, according to athletics' governing body.

written by Bureau, 20 August 2009
Rating:

Michelle Obama More Powerful

US First Lady Michelle Obama is among the newcomers in a list of the world's most powerful women. Claims White House garden has really increased muscles.

written by Bureau, 20 August 2009
Rating:

China Still At It!

Authorities in China have closed a second metal smelter after over 1,300 children fell sick with lead poisoning, state media have reported. Leader calls US, "About those last imports we sold you..."

written by Bureau, 20 August 2009
Rating:

Iran President Selects Cabinet

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad reveals cabinet, including Ahmed, Jakim, Ali, Enosh, Cousin Omed Ahmadinejad.

written by Bureau, 20 August 2009
Rating:

Prune Juice Cocktails

Baby boomers still getting high, agency says. "Mixing hard liquor, drop of LSD in their cans of Ensure."

written by Bureau, 20 August 2009
Rating:

60 Minutes Creator Dies

Don Hewitt, who invented '60 Minutes,' dies at 86. Those doing show say the "Young Whippersnapper" was a genius.

written by Bureau, 20 August 2009
Rating:

All They Need Is One

Man says he sold kidney in US for $20k. Now out looking for more "doners". Bounty hunters joining in.

written by Bureau, 20 August 2009
Rating:

Mercury In Fish

Federal study shows mercury in fish widespread. "At least half as much as in human dental repairs", say experts.

written by Bureau, 20 August 2009
Rating:

Plastic Decomposes In Seas

Study says plastic decomposes at sea. "Usually eaten up by acid from medical waste, mercury.

written by Bureau, 20 August 2009
Rating:

Deep Water Rice

Scientists develop high-yield deep water rice but all the samples were eaten by catfish during the night.

written by Bureau, 20 August 2009
Rating:

Romney Criticizes Health Care Program

Romney: Liberals given too much say in health care. Recommends adding more Hitler mustaches to Obama posters, making Barney Franks look like Himmler.

written by Bureau, 20 August 2009
Rating:

Crew & Pirates Questioned

Arctic Sea crew, hijackers interrogated in Moscow keep talking wildly about mysterious island, giant ape.

written by Bureau, 20 August 2009
Rating:

Tycoon Bernie A Level 5!

FEMA alerted to be prepared by President Obama over helping victims of Tycoon Bernie!

written by Bureau, 20 August 2009
Rating:

That's Impossible?

Woman sues David Copperfield for sexual assault while he was frozen in ice. Sherlock Holmes, Ellery Queen and John Dickson Carr work being studied by police.

written by Bureau, 20 August 2009
Rating:

French Hit By Bomber

Suicide Snail-Bomber somehow gets by French security, blows up Cafe kitchen in Paris.

written by Bureau, 20 August 2009
Rating:

Hurricane Bill Turning Towards "Wuss" Status

Horrible, Killing, Ferocious Hurricane Bill weakens, probably won't hit anybody, just farting around the Atlantic, sighs Weather Channel.

written by Bureau, 20 August 2009
Rating:

Bring In That F+, D-

White House planning to wind down Clunkers program but plan new high school, college, grade trade-ins in "Flunkers" program.

written by Bureau, 20 August 2009
Rating:

Afghanistan Turnout Low

Turnout appears low as few Afghans left to vote for a new president.

written by Bureau, 20 August 2009
Rating:

Obama Friends Benefit Most From Healthcare

Firms with Obama ties profit from health push. "Just a coincidence says President Obama.

written by Bureau, 20 August 2009
Rating:

CIA Hired Others

AP source: CIA hired others to try to hit al-Qaida, but Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger both turned them down.

written by Bureau, 20 August 2009
Rating:

Prehistoric Runways

Scientists say a prehistoric runway for flying pterosaurs has been discovered for the first time. However critics call it ridiculous. "They were for UFO'S!"

written by Bureau, 20 August 2009
Rating:

Healthcare Myths

Health overhaul myths taking root. For instance, that US could pay off 13 billion debt withing 50 years.

written by Bureau, 20 August 2009
Rating:

Would have preferred a chip of the OLD block

Leading Swedish newspaper reports Palestinian organs stolen by Israeli soldiers, transplanted into patients in Jerusalem, being rejected at rate of 100 percent.

written by The San Francisco Onion, 20 August 2009
Rating:

Important Big City Problems

City councils in large USA cities are very concerned about plastic supermarket bags littering the streets. However, 300 murders per year in some municipalities seem to attract little interest.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 20 August 2009
Rating:

New Stimulus Bill

When the US House returns from their recess, Speaker Pelosi plans to introduce a 5000 page bill. The new bill is known as the "Stimulus of the Week Porkage." CBO estimates are in trillions of dollars.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 20 August 2009
Rating:

States Having Tax Shortfalls

State governors are asking taxpayers how to reduce budgets. One novel suggestion where electronic voting machines were replaced by paper ballots is to have voters bring their own paper and pencils.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 20 August 2009
Rating:

New Element Pelosium Discovered

Pelosium has the following properties: highly dense, unstable, non-malleable, noxious, a relatively poor listener, extremely resistant to criticism and tarnishes upon exposure to press conferences.


written by Philbert of Macadamia, 20 August 2009
« Jul 2009 August 2009 Sep 2009 »
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
 
1st
42
2nd
32
3rd
43
4th
36
5th
33
6th
52
7th
52
8th
42
9th
50
10th
26
11th
29
12th
32
13th
37
14th
48
15th
47
16th
46
17th
68
18th
54
19th
50
20th
63
21st
50
22nd
39
23rd
64
24th
75
25th
54
26th
88
27th
65
28th
54
29th
65
30th
58
31st
73
 

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 multiplied by 4?

6 12 23 4


98 readers are online right now!

Go to top