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Rating:

"SD-RAM" Computer Porno Box Office Hit With PC Geeks

"SD-RAM" stars porno king Hugh Mongousdick and has grossed more geek ticket sales than any other PC porno flick. "We can't wait for the sequel DDS-RAM," one nerd told "The Spoof"
"Just awesome dude."

written by tlmedia, 16 August 2009
Rating:

North Korea threatens to wipe out countrys that threaten them with nukes

Considering that their missiles never fly more than 500 miles, only South Korea and China are in any danger.

written by Jalapenoman, 16 August 2009
Rating:

Alan Duncan Won't Be Getting Bali High

The rations won't stretch to it, he claims.

written by Skoob1999, 16 August 2009
Rating:

Welshman Denies Opening Brothel

Four sheep chained to a lamp post does not constitute a brothel, legal team allege.

written by Skoob1999, 16 August 2009
Rating:

Dracula Gives Up Fishing

Too impatient to wait for a bite, according to observers.

written by Skoob1999, 16 August 2009
Rating:

Lost African Tribe Rediscovered

The Fakawi, a three foot tall pygmy tribe who inhabit four foot high grasslands were spotted by a BBC Bristol wildlife crew jumping up and down shouting: "Where the Fakawi?"

written by Skoob1999, 16 August 2009
Rating:

Southampton FC Release DVD Exclusive

101 great goal kicks now available from Amazon.

written by Skoob1999, 16 August 2009
Rating:

Mike Tyson Issues Challenge

Former undisputed heavyweight champion wants to fight Stevie Wonder. It's the match up everybody would love to see. Especially Stevie.

written by Skoob1999, 16 August 2009
Rating:

Another Company Folds

The Yamagitsu Origami Company finally folded today. It seems it was destined to fold from its inception.

written by Skoob1999, 16 August 2009
Rating:

Pattinson Rejected By Man United

Allegedly for having an aversion to crosses.

written by Skoob1999, 16 August 2009
Rating:

Woodpecker Born Without Beak

Described as a 'Headbanger' by zoo keeper.

written by Skoob1999, 16 August 2009
Rating:

Mary Mary Quite Contrary

How does your garden grow?
Soil.

written by Skoob1999, 16 August 2009
Rating:

On The Other Hand...

Usually it's four fingers and a thumb, but you never can tell these days.

written by Skoob1999, 16 August 2009
Rating:

Everton FC Call In Exorcist

One six reported yesterday, so Exorcist recruited before the other two can materialise.

written by Skoob1999, 16 August 2009
Rating:

Vegan 'Full English Breakfast' Product Bombs.

A tomato and some mushrooms on a slice of bread just isn't all that appetising, consumers agree.

written by Skoob1999, 16 August 2009
Rating:

Leeds Fan Distraught

Leeds fan Jud Etherington was emotionally overwrought today, not only because his football team are shit, but because he was snubbed by 'Glenda' - his ewe of twelve years.

written by Skoob1999, 16 August 2009
Rating:

Liverpool People Still Talk Funny

Despite the best efforts of a legion of elecution teachers, the average Liverpudlian still cannot say with any certainty how many K's there are in Chickkkkken.

written by Skoob1999, 16 August 2009
Rating:

Spoof Spy Story Picked Up By Hollywood

Legendary Spoof spy Bargis Tryhol, Agent 004 is to be reincarnated as Jason Bourne by Hollywood. BuckwheatsButt is said to be considering a lawsuit.

written by Skoob1999, 16 August 2009
Rating:

Motorcycle Outlaw Ridiculed

A man was ridiculed today for turning up at a biker bash with a jacket proclaiming he was a 'Hells Angle'.

written by Skoob1999, 16 August 2009
Rating:

Miley Cyrus Has A Dump

Accountants today revealed that Hannah Montana starlet Miley Cyrus has acquired a landfill site near Jacksonville Fla in her property portfolio.

written by Skoob1999, 16 August 2009
Rating:

Vanessa Hudgens Shaves Her Cat

Nobody knows why. It's a mystery. It's been well documented that shaving cats is abnormal behaviour.

written by Skoob1999, 16 August 2009
Rating:

If He'd Only Blink

Tipper Gore admits in new book that sometimes she dusts Al Gore and goes to bed with the Emmy Statue.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2009
Rating:

Clinton Through With Recent Tour

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton completes African journey, says many of the leaders she met everywhere are liars. "And, believe me, I'm an expert in knowing liars."

written by Bureau, 16 August 2009
Rating:

Still, He Got $4500

North Carolina man accidentally trades in his new car for clunker, $4500 during first day confusion.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2009
Rating:

A Little Late

San Francisco man angry after finishing meal at Chinese Restaurant with fortune cookie which stated, "So sorry about lead in chow mein noodles".

written by Bureau, 16 August 2009
Rating:

In A Dead Heat

Insiders say that both political parties are out gathering names off tombstones for the 2010 elections.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2009
Rating:

Nader Won't Run

Ralph Nader says he will not run in the 2012 presidential election. "Might walk", jokes the easy going funny man.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2009
Rating:

No Farting Around

President Obama surprises everyone by introducing Tiger Woods as the new, King Of Pops!

written by Bureau, 16 August 2009
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I'm Absolutely Certain

Shook up bank teller still claims it was the Frankenstein Monster who committed the recent masked robbery in Yorkshire.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2009
Rating:

Paul McCartney Pic For Auction

A previously unseen photograph of Sir Paul McCartney, before he found fame and fortune with The Beatles, is set for auction. Expected to bring more than Heather's "Sir Paul On The Commode" last year.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2009
Rating:

Stronger Bones, Boners

Women who drink moderate amounts of beer may be strengthening their bones plus the bones of their husbands, according to Spanish researchers.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2009
Rating:

Both Shaken, Stirred

Police in Peru have fired tear gas to disperse protesters blocking a highway near Pisco - the southern town that was ravaged by an earthquake in 2007. "Shake still has them stirred", says leader.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2009
Rating:

Jew Elected To Fatah Position

An Israeli Jew has been elected to the governing body of the Fatah party of Palestinian president, Mahmoud Abbas. His life insurance policy immediately canceled.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2009
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Iran Women In New Cabinet

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad says he will bring at least two women into his new cabinet, the first such appointments in Iran since the 1970s. Introduces wife, mother.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2009
Rating:

Killer Asteroids

Report: NASA can't keep up with killer asteroids. Still studying why an ordinary everyday asteroid would suddenly become a killer.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2009
Rating:

Rare Gene Discovered

Scientists find rare gene behind bunny sleepers. "They are particular popular among those who go at it like rabbits", states one.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2009
Rating:

Cruiser Days Over?

Michigan cruisers worry days of classic cars are ove. "Our only hope is an electric Edsel", states one.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2009
Rating:

North Korean Threatens Retaliation

North Korea threatens retaliation over US, UN sanctions as they plan to install windmills to blow stench from buried cabbage all the way to Japan.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2009
Rating:

Obama Invokes Granny's Death

Obama invokes grandmother's death in health debate. Opponents counter with "Our children born $200,000 in debt for 13 trillion dollar costs of all programs.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2009
Rating:

Tropical Storm Warning

Tropical storm warning has been issued for some parts and especially old farts in Florida.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2009
Rating:

Kissing In Utah

The Mormon church's vigorous backing of banned gay marriage in California last year has caused Utah to be attacked for gay rights with a "kiss-in" Saturday. "I kissed my ass, Becky", stated 1 farmer.

written by Bureau, 16 August 2009
Rating:

Obama Sounding Like A Stuck Record

President Obama, still out stumping for his healthcare plan, completely forgot himself yesterday and began one speech with: "If I am elected your president."

written by Bureau, 16 August 2009
Rating:

George Michael Rear Ends Trucker

Yeah, and...?

written by Blazing Saddle, 16 August 2009
Rating:

Political Couth When Writing Your Congressman

Instead of BULLSHIT as an answer to some inane drivel from your congressman, write back the following. "Your reply was the biggest load of sweepings from the floor of the cow barn I have ever seen!"

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 16 August 2009
Rating:

New Environmental Program Launched

Congress passes the Murder Conservation bill that encourages residents in nine major cities to reduce murder rates to one per month by 2015. If the pilot plan is a success it will then go nationwide.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 16 August 2009
Rating:

Food Police Arrested

The "food police" were taken into custody for stealing candy from babies. In a statement the group said "if the babies only knew how much sugar was in the sweets, they wouldn't be eating them."

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 16 August 2009
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