Order by:
Rating:

Old Mush Mouth

The remains of that musher and his dog team have been found that went missing over a week ago during a competition in Alaska. Dogs look fat and fine but their breath would kill the dead.

written by Bureau, 22 April 2009
Rating:

Earth-like Planet Was Earth

Scientists apologized today over the supposed discovery of an Earth-like planet yesterday & admit that what they were seeing WAS the Earth. "We just looked through the wrong end of Hubble Telescope."

written by Bureau, 22 April 2009
Rating:

Susan Boyle to re-record every song written or performed

Susan is to spend the next ten months re-recording stuff by the three tenors, Elvis Presley, Roy Orbinson, Frank Sinatra, the Beatles and Bing Crosby etc - which are now thought to be crap!

written by Khadija, 22 April 2009
Rating:

Missed His Opportunity

Local man in Salt Lake City, Utah, doesn't answer door when opportunity knocked, attacked by opportunist burglars who came in through the window.

written by Bureau, 22 April 2009
Rating:

Mesquite/Forest Fire Wonderful Flavor

Firefighters in northern Texas say they will keep fighting two-week old forest and mesquite-smelling fire just as long as communities keep bringing those BBQ sandwiches.

written by Bureau, 22 April 2009
Rating:

Ford's New Carbon Footprint Scheme

The Ford Motor Company says they will off-set carbon footprints, not by producing green cars, but by closing down all their factories six months a year.

written by Bureau, 22 April 2009
Rating:

NFL Going Green

The National Football League announced it's going further green by using astronaut device to change player's piss into Gatorade.

written by Bureau, 22 April 2009
Rating:

Chief Justice Thomas Having Problems

Chief Justice Clarence Thomas being carefully watched as three times now he has stated, "Well, according to the monkey's testimony at the Scopes Trial..."

written by Bureau, 22 April 2009
Rating:

New Guy's Initiation

New worker at London meat cutters jeered as "Mister Pretty Boy over there with all his fingers and both thumbs!"

written by Bureau, 22 April 2009
Rating:

Rail Prices, Hackles Rise

Passenger fury as rail firms raise prices by 11%... as the economy suffers deflation. "We're being railroaded", says one customer.

written by Bureau, 22 April 2009
Rating:

Computers Hacked

Hunt is on for the hackers who infected 1.9 million "turkey in the straw, turkey in the hay"...1.9,000,001 computers. "tiptoe through the tulips"....

written by Bureau, 22 April 2009
Rating:

Tracking The Students

Pupils on school buses can now be tracked by parents, child molesters thanks to GPS tickets.

written by Bureau, 22 April 2009
Rating:

Early Summer In Britain?

Has summer come early? Britain heads for hottest April in ten years. Citizens say "Global Warming" not so bad, let those spoiled rotten grandchildren worry about it. Do them good.

written by Bureau, 22 April 2009
Rating:

Near Plane Crash

The moment a model plane came within seconds of crashing into Virgin holiday jet shown on net video. Passengers of both planes safe but a bit shaky.

written by Bureau, 22 April 2009
Rating:

Ryanair Getting Cheeky

Budget airline Ryanair considers 'fat tax' for it's obese passengers. Already placing "Your Ass Must Be Under This Size For Regular Airfare" signs at airports.

written by Bureau, 22 April 2009
Rating:

Tupperware Party Turns Violent

Head boy at top public school arrested over knife fight at a Tupperware party, the third one to turn violent this year. Cops blame "Burping Lid" jokes run amok.

written by Bureau, 22 April 2009
Rating:

Credit Card Pirates

Credit card giants defy plea to 'be fair': Interest payments soar as base rate, Grinch's heart size hits record low.

written by Bureau, 22 April 2009
Rating:

Darling Socks It To The Rich, Rich Strike Back

Credit Crunch Budget: Darling puts Britain into debt for a decade, hammers wealthy with huge tax rate that assures that they will move & take companies to other countries.

written by Bureau, 22 April 2009
Rating:

IMF Misquoted

IMF denies saying that a Deeper' recession lies ahead. "What we said was 'A more shallow depression'", states IMF official spokesperson.

written by Bureau, 22 April 2009
Rating:

New Brain Built

A detailed simulation of a small region of a brain built molecule by molecule has been constructed & has recreated experimental results from real brains. Gov. officials line up for first transplants.

written by Bureau, 22 April 2009
Rating:

Drinks Make Sickness Worse

Parents are making children suffering from vomiting and diarrhea more sick by giving them flat open-bottled coke and salmonella-flavored lemonade, experts say.

written by Bureau, 22 April 2009
Rating:

French Celebrating Early

French deliver 11 piracy suspects, 10 lords a-leaping..... 3 French hens, two turtledoves and a partridge in a pear tree.

written by Bureau, 22 April 2009
Rating:

Kansas Schools Object!

The citizens of Topeka, Kansas have voted to have the theory of Superman's Fortress of Solitude removed from their public schools.

written by Bureau, 22 April 2009
Rating:

Russian FM Accuses NATO

Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov has accused members of NATO of reverting to the "confrontational logic of the Cold War" simply because of our re-starting that silly Berlin Wall thingie."

written by Bureau, 22 April 2009
Rating:

"And He's OK!"

25-year-old Somali pirate, Dahir, has told the BBC by telly from the notorious den of Harardhere, Central Somalia why he became a sea bandit. "If not a pirate, I'd go to Canada & become a lumberjack."

written by Bureau, 22 April 2009
Rating:

Benitez: Liverpool Made Mistakes

Manager Rafael Benitez says Liverpool made "massive mistakes" in the 4-4 draw with Arsenal but insists his side will not give up in the fright, fight for the bottle...title.

written by Bureau, 22 April 2009
Rating:

T. Rex Ancestor Found In China

Ancestor of Tyrannosaurus Rex found in China. "T. Ray was always mouthing off about something or somebody", stated Ancestor. "It doesn't surprise me in least that the lad's became extinct."

written by Bureau, 22 April 2009
Rating:

New Zealanders Choose New Island Names

New Zealanders are to be asked what they would like to call their two main islands, currently North and South. Thus far, Twitter Dee and Twitter Dum lead the list.

written by Bureau, 22 April 2009
Rating:

Two Million Computers Hacked! (Cough)

Almost 2 million PCs globally, including machines inside UK and US government departments, have been taken over by malicious hackers. Experts say first sign is when your computer has bad coughing fit.

written by Bureau, 22 April 2009
Rating:

Tigers, Lions Surrender

Two senior Tamil Tiger rebels in Sri Lanka have surrendered to the military, the army says. Meanwhile, nine Detroit Lions have turned themselves in to NFL authorities for "being losers".

written by Bureau, 22 April 2009
Rating:

Dems Blame Bush For Gitmo, Recession, Toe Cramps

U.S. Democrats: Bush policy 'led to Abu Ghraib'. Would have been different if Empire State Building had also been blown to bits.

written by Bureau, 22 April 2009
Rating:

Fleetwood Mac Describes Freddie

The acting chief financial officer of struggling US mortgage giant Freddie Mac has been found dead, reports his British cousin, Fleetwood. "Freddie was a giant, but with feet of clay", says Fleetwood.

written by Bureau, 22 April 2009
Rating:

Screwed As Usual

Alistair Darling has announced a new top tax rate of 50% for those earning more than £150,000 from next April. For those who earn less, a top rate of 75% but 0% tax on cake.

written by Bureau, 22 April 2009
Rating:

New figurehead to watch over M62

A 20m face has appeared over the place M62 at Manchester. The sculpture is called "The Dream". Meanwhile, a giant fountain has been revealed at a Milton Keynes roundabout called "The Wet Dream".

written by norma snockers, 22 April 2009
Rating:

The 40,000-Year-Old Pet

A well-preserved 40,000 year-old baby mammoth has been found in Siberia. A research scientist said that he found a name tag attached to its collar which read: If lost please return to Cloris Leachman.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 April 2009
Rating:

The St. Louis Anger Management Class

April's monthly St. Louis Anger Management Class was abruptly cancelled due to the fact that the instructor and three of the students got into one hellacious free-for-all.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 April 2009
Rating:

A Lot of Chimps Are Not Happy (Hour) Campers

The biggest banana shortage in 20 years has caused the closing down of dozens of Monkey Bars throughout America.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 April 2009
Rating:

The Detroit Crime Stoppers Program

The Detroit Daily Bugle has reported that the city's Crime Stoppers Program is being discontinued. A spokesperson for the city said that it was just not stopping crime.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 April 2009
Rating:

Wanted: Two Palm Trees

A man went into a nursery and told the saleman that he wanted to buy two palm trees. He was told they had no palm trees but that they did have two finger bushes.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 April 2009
Rating:

L.A.'s Unbelievable New Year (2010)

The city of Los Angeles has voted to celebrate next New Year's Eve on January 7. The city council said they had to do something about the horrible traffic situation.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 April 2009
Rating:

The Harley Davidson Models (Bikes & Broads)

Harley Davidson reports first quarter losses at 37 percent. A company rep says that plans are underway to have the motorcyle models wear short shorts made out of dental floss.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 April 2009
Rating:

Run Rico Run

The X Plant Shop owners in Brooklyn are very concerned about one of their African Bang Bang Carnivorous Plants. It seems that overnight it ate the store's security guard dog, a Rottweiler named Rico.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 April 2009
Rating:

NY Pharacies To Translate Drugs

NY pharmacies agree to translate drug instructions into Spanish, French, Russian, Chinese and English, but you still won't be able to read Doctor's writing.

written by Bureau, 22 April 2009
Rating:

Top Pentagon Commander Meets Troops In Afghanistan

Top Pentagon commander meets U.S. troops in Afghanistan. Tells them, "You guys over here? I thought you were still in Baghdad. Washington tells me nothing. Somebody place a call to President Bush."

written by Bureau, 22 April 2009
Rating:

"Refrigerator Perry" Hospitalized"

Former Chicago Bears defensive lineman William "The Refrigerator" Perry is in serious condition at South Carolina hospital. Friends noticed his light didn't come on when they opened his door.

written by Bureau, 22 April 2009
Rating:

CIA Mistreated Small-Town Bombers, Not Big Cities Like NYC

Report links CIA to military harsh interrogations. "These CIA monsters also kept the poor mistreated captives jailed who only wanted to blow up small towns in rural U.S. not big cities as accused."

written by Bureau, 22 April 2009
Rating:

Students Taunt Moose

Alaska school punishes students for taunting moose by asking it if it was related to Sarah Palin, calling it Bullwinkle & asking whereabouts of Rocky J Squirrel?

written by Bureau, 22 April 2009
Rating:

Mother Makes Daughters Leave Car

Police say mom ordered daughters out, drove off after telling them for twentieth time, "No we're not there yet, but you two are so get out." Court hearing today,

written by Bureau, 22 April 2009
Rating:

Obama Observes Earth Day

President Obama to head to Iowa for observance of Earth Day, on Air Force One to plant a tree.

written by Bureau, 22 April 2009
Rating:

Squatters Head For Empty Foreclosed Houses

Worst foreclosure rates with empty houses found in 4 states. Attention squatters, gypsies, worst foreclosures rates and empty houses found in four states.

written by Bureau, 22 April 2009
Rating:

Paris Hilton Insulted

Paris Hilton leaves bar after former Marine Sarge asks her, "How's you like to see me do 1,000 push-ups, really really close-up?"

written by Bureau, 22 April 2009
Rating:

Gingrich May Run In 2012 With New Name

Newt Gangrich says he may yet run for President in 2012 but may change his name to be more hip, like Lizard Doggy Dogg Gingrich.

written by Bureau, 22 April 2009
Rating:

Texas Discusses Secession

The 'Great Fence of Texas' now a certainty.

written by Mr. Lizard, 22 April 2009
Rating:

Greenpeace Or Greenpiece

Greenpeace demands that area immediately outside of Las Vegas to the north be designated a special zone for free-range prostitutes.

written by Bureau, 22 April 2009
Rating:

Indians Win Legal Battle

Cowapache Indians win right from the United States Supreme Court to "Sacred Land of Many Buried Fathers", open Harrah's Casino.

written by Bureau, 22 April 2009
Rating:

U.S. 2010 Census Thorough

The United States territories will be on the 2010 census, such as Puerto Rico, Guam, Virgin Islands, Land below the North Pole and on the Moon.

written by Bureau, 22 April 2009
Rating:

Special Wine Sale

Snippet not for French, it is beneath you. Everyone else, WalMart Wine announces big sale. Special low prices for those who will drink it AFTER a bottle of your favorite which has already crocked you.

written by Bureau, 22 April 2009
« Mar 2009 April 2009 May 2009 »
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
 
1st
52
2nd
63
3rd
57
4th
49
5th
48
6th
54
7th
62
8th
47
9th
47
10th
46
11th
31
12th
35
13th
31
14th
44
15th
45
16th
50
17th
43
18th
40
19th
19
20th
35
21st
40
22nd
57
23rd
54
24th
47
25th
55
26th
44
27th
56
28th
53
29th
38
30th
59
 

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 plus 2?

6 5 20 23


Go to top