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The BBC are to reintroduce 'Letter from America'

The BBC have announced that they will reintroduce 'Letter from America' to be presented by Matt Frei. The French, however, will be transmitting their own show called 'A French Letter from America'.

written by IN SEINE, 18 April 2009
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Titanic memento for auction

A piece of ice from the very same iceberg that sunk the White Star cruise liner, Titanic in April 1912 is to be put up for auction this week. It was kept in a freezer for the past 97 years.

written by IN SEINE, 18 April 2009
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GM: Bankruptcy Likely

General Motors today announced the initiation of contingency plans as CEOs carefully packed their golden parachutes.

written by Mr. Lizard, 18 April 2009
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Obama Appoints Mexican Drug Advisors

Barack Obama has officially appointed new ambassadors to Mexico to specifically keep an eye on the recent drug wars that threaten to overflow into US. Cheech & Chong left for Mexico City this morning.

written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
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Happy Birthday Clarence

American lawyer, Clarence Darrow turned 152 Saturday and celebrated with just a couple of lawyer friends. "Things have really changed in the past 125 years" chirped the famous "Monkey Trial" attorney.

written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
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Hookers On Their Own

New York City's Mayor Bloomberg announced this morning that the city can no longer afford to provide a pension plan for the city's hookers.

written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
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Old Ladies Protest Britney

Group of old ladies protesting Britney's Circus irritates star by sitting and crocheting on front row until she cracks and walks off stage.

written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
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Liverpool Player Suspended

Liverpool player suspended after being spotted 'laughing and dancing' during Hillsborough memorial service. "So I got snackered, thought it was like an Irish wake."

written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
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MP's Wife Angry

'They even stripped the sheets from the marital bed': Wife of MP Damian Green tells of the day anti-terror police raided her home. "Also used the wrong starch before returning them."

written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
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Hollywood Avoids Strike

The threat of a damaging strike in Hollywood has receded with negotiators for the studios and actors announcing a deal to end their play dispute.

written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
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Citigroup Bank Nets Profit

Citigroup, which has reported its first quarterly net profit in nearly two years, becomes the latest US bank to see an improvement in its performance, admits to winning Lotto.

written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
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"Netanyahu No Partner For Peace"

Israel's PM Benjamin Netanyahu is not a partner for peace unless he backs a Palestinian state replacing the nation of Israel, the Palestinian Authority's top negotiator said yesterday.

written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
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Tiananmen Square Remembered

Patra Li Yim-tung was a newborn when Chinese students were camping out for democracy on Tiananmen Square, & were crushed by tanks of the People's Liberation Army, shows photo of dad in 30-foot casket.

written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
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World's Tallest Chinese

The world's tallest man has been discovered in China, after he attended hospital for surgery. Niphilim Chai should be back on his feet by next weekend. Surgery removed small slingrock from forehead.

written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
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Bolivian Football Viagra

A Bolivian football team's former physiotherapist confesses he gave players the sex drug Viagra to help them play at high altitude in the main city, leading to the rape of five on the opponent team.

written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
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Officer Being Probed

A third incident involving a police officer during the G20 protest in London has resulted in the officer being probed by Saucer #36 from Ashtar.

written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
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Ben & Jerry's New Ice Cream

Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream has just come out with its latest ice cream flavor. It's called Ben & Jerry's Nutty Talibananas

written by Abel Rodriguez, 18 April 2009
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The Somali Pirate Leader's Favorite Cereal

The leader of the Somali Pirates, Captain "X" has revealed that his favorite breakfast cereal is, "Cap'N Crunch."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 18 April 2009
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Poland's Polish Problem

The Polish Unemployment Commission (PUC) has just officially announced that Poland now has more unemployed people than it has people who do not have a job.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 18 April 2009
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ABC's New Police/Cook TV Show

ABC will be premiering its newest television sit-com soon. The show stars two brothers; one a police officer and the other a restaurant cook. The show is titled, "Mac & Cheese."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 18 April 2009
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The Happy and Unhappy Cereal

The New England Cereal Commission has just named Cheerios as the world's happiest cereal. The commission has also named the world's unhappiest cereal...Shredded Wheat.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 18 April 2009
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And There Go The Cookies.

The nation's bad economic situation has just claimed another victim. Reports are saying that The First International Bank of Connecticut is foreclosing on Pepperidge Farm.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 18 April 2009
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The Aunt Jemima Name Is Gone With The Wind

The Aunt Jemima Pancake Company in an effort to get away from stereotyping has decided to change its name to The Aunt Oprah Pancake Company.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 18 April 2009
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Obama Seeks New Beginning

President Barack Obama has said the US seeks a "new beginning" with Cuba and an "equal partnership" with all the nations of the Americas, going back to Columbus. Indian throws moccasins.

written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
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Bunch Of Hard Heads

Sri Lanka has rejected a fresh appeal by the UN to give civilians more time to leave a safe zone in the north-east, even after the UN Nude Dancers For Peace performance, the defense secretary says.

written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
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Mercenary Gang Caught

Two members of a mercenary gang said to have plotted to kill Bolivian President Evo Morales were veterans of the Balkan wars of the 1990s and trampling crowd at last December's WalMart reports say.

written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
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Another Pirate Attack

Those rascal Somalian pirates hi-jack cruise ship again, wave their privates at the tourists and jump back in boats after having several pix taken with those aboard.

written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
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American Journalist Jailed

An Iranian-American journalist branded a US spy has been jailed for eight years by Iran after a brief trial held behind closed doors. Fight between several head jailers leaves ten dead, fifty injured.

written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
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Acid Spill In Ohio

A large hydrochloric acid spill at Ohio plant that makes chemical additives spawned a huge vapor cloud that has dissipated, officials said. No injuries were reported, mostly because victims paralyzed.

written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
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The Big Squeeze

Solar panels find it hard to squeeze water from the desert this past week. IRS also finds it hard to squeeze blood from 303 million American turnips this past April 15th.

written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
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Week Of Change

Analysis: Week of change for Obama. Also for many American who shit their pants every time he opened his mouth to old enemies who hate us.

written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
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Agency Heads, Budget Cuts

President Obama asking agency heads for budget cuts, has already received his horse's head from Gambinos.

written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
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Obams Opens Speech With Joke

At a summit, Obama offers partnership with South, Central Americas and humor, opening with the famous Rodney Dangerfield joke, "Now you take my country...please."

written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
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Spring Storm Weakening

A spring storm was weakening after dumping up to 3 feet of snow on the foothills west of Denver, dumping only 2 and a half feet of solid ice on Wyoming & Idaho but could pick up strength later.

written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
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Silence Not Always Golden

A study using new imaging technology found "silent" heart attacks may be far more common, and more deadly, than suspected, U.S. researchers said Friday. However, silent killer farts can be even worse.

written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
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President Obama Raising The Dead!

President Obama raises the dead: As the core surviving members of the Grateful Dead, once the world's biggest concert draw, barrels once again across the country for the first time in five years.

written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
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Heard This One Before

Buffeted by millions of digital scans every day, federal officials are looking for hackers, not to prosecute them, but to pay them to secure the nation's networks. Free computers at police station.

written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
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Pirates Attack Again

NATO frees 20 fishermen as pirates attack another tanker, this time making off with with only a few bottles of rum.

written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
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Somali pirates kidnap Britains Got Talent

Somali pirates have captured the TV production Britains Got Talent and moved the whole show to Mogadishu, the Somalian capital. Future contestants must perform Somali folk songs accompanied by a gun.

written by whatinthe world, 18 April 2009
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President Obama Appoints a New Czar

President Obama has appointed Vladimir Putin as the new Czar of the Russian Federation. Oops, the president is a little late as Vladimir has already appointed himself Czar!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 18 April 2009
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