Order by:
Rating:

Obama - "Motown's For Me!"

Obama -"Me Motown Buddies vs Elvis - No Competition - The White King is Dead - The Black Guys n Gals are Alive and Kicking!"

Source - US White House - Snoop Bug Transmitter 103

written by iscrivener, 16 April 2009
Rating:

EPA to Ban Environmentalists

An EPA ban on environmentalists is being considered. It would save US tax dollars, stop the oral generation of greenhouse gases such as CO2 and hot air, and avoid the need to clean up toxic bullshit.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 16 April 2009
Rating:

Obama - New "Voodoo" Toy Dolls Ban!

Following the launch of the Obama "Toy Dolls" President Obama has threatened to ban the dolls, tax Neo Pagans to the hilt and imprison all white US Wiccans!

Source - Earth Religion News 16/04/09

written by iscrivener, 16 April 2009
Rating:

What The HMS Titanic Really Hit

The HMS Titanic sank 97 years ago. Many believed that she hit an iceberg. But the truth is that she actually hit a sperm whale, but back then (1912) it was against the law to use the word sperm.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 16 April 2009
Rating:

Mighty Have Fallen

Friends of once famous comedy star Michael Richards, who once received $1 million an episode for Seinfeld TV Show, say he's down to doing knock-knock jokes of PBS's 2 A.M. kid's show, Little Dickens.

written by Bureau, 16 April 2009
Rating:

The Unlucky Somali Pirates

The Somali Pirates luck just keeps on getting worse. Now comes word from CNN that the Somali Pirates have just been caught with 80,000 pirated CD's.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 16 April 2009
Rating:

Rihanna's Misspelled Tattoo

Rihanna's most recent tattoo is misspelled. When asked about it she replied, "Well that's why I prefer picture tattoos. My previous tattoo was of a gun...you can't misspell a gun can you?"

written by Abel Rodriguez, 16 April 2009
Rating:

The New Roman Coliseum

Rome is facing a financial crisis due to a drop in tourism. The mayor states that last year only 296 people visited the Roman Coliseum. So he has decided to remodel it and turn it into a mall.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 16 April 2009
Rating:

The Brilliant General Motors Recall

General Motors is recalling 1.5 million automobiles because of a potential for an engine fire. An inside source says that it is all a ploy and that GM is going to sell the 1.5 million cars to Cuba.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 16 April 2009
Rating:

The Britney "The Blonde" Spears

Britney Spears apparently forgot where she was as she greeted her concert audience in San Jose with "What's up Sacramento?" Several audience members quickly replied, "Nothing Jessica (Simpson)."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 16 April 2009
Rating:

Two Weren't Amused

Two people died at the Seven Stars Amusement Park Sunday when something went wrong with the Dick Cheney Wild Bird Ride!

written by Bureau, 16 April 2009
Rating:

Phyllis Diller's Dictionary

Th Dictionary of The English Language is celebrating its 254th birthday. In fact Phyllis Diller still has a copy of the dictionary she had back in college. But back then it only contained 137 words.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 16 April 2009
Rating:

The Downsized Russell Crowe

Russell Crowe says he's decided to downsize. He sold his $4.3 million home and bought a $3.9 million home. He sold his Lamborghini and bought a Humvee. And he is dropping the "E" from his last name.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 16 April 2009
Rating:

Fly The Unfriendly Skies of United

United Airlines says that it will start charging overweight people double. Okay, so does that mean that anorexic people will get a 50 percent discount?

written by Abel Rodriguez, 16 April 2009
Rating:

Chrysler On The Brink of Bankruptcy

To keep from seeing Chrysler go bankrupt, Chrysler employees have agreed to take a paycut from $70 an hour to $69 an hour.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 16 April 2009
Rating:

Drugs Boost Brains

Society should embrace the use of drugs that boost brain power. That's the message from a group of neuroscientists, psychiatrists and ethicists wearing aluminum foil hats.

written by Bureau, 16 April 2009
Rating:

Monkey Alerts Plane Cargo Crew

Snakes on a plane force Qantas to ground flight. Cargo crew was alerted by signing monkey in cage after getting their attention by flinging shit.

written by Bureau, 16 April 2009
Rating:

Phil Spector Convicted

Phil Spector has been found guilty of second degree murder. He's the first Hollywood star to be convicted of murder since Fatty Arbuckle purposefully sat on an Oz midget in 1939.

written by Bureau, 16 April 2009
Rating:

Madoff's Wife Drops Last Name

Bernard Madoff's wife says that she is going back to using her maiden name of Hitler so people won't hate her so much.

written by Bureau, 16 April 2009
Rating:

PETA Clears Navy Seals

Members of Greenpeace and PETA have finished with their investigation and say, yes those were three pirates killed, not parrots.

written by Bureau, 16 April 2009
Rating:

NYC Cabbies Watched

New York City's Mayor Bloomberg says he is going to crack down on cab drivers who text while driving, especially those texting terrorists.

written by Bureau, 16 April 2009
Rating:

Double-Hump Day

Many Americans say that this past Wednesday was Double-Hump Day after April 15th screwing by the Internal Revenue Service.

written by Bureau, 16 April 2009
Rating:

Duck Duck Goose!

'Sewer rats' blamed for spate of crossbow attacks on geese, lead police on wild goose chase in Manchester.

written by Bureau, 16 April 2009
Rating:

Batt, Steinbeck & The Rabbits

Watership Down composer Mike Batt has rabbits shot in cull on his estate. Steinbeck's Lenny also has to be put down after seeing it.

written by Bureau, 16 April 2009
Rating:

Joyrider Not Ticketed

Joyrider in Detroit, Michigan stopped by police in parking lot, shows them his and Joy's marriage certificate. When told to go home for that, answer they were kicked out by loan company.

written by Bureau, 16 April 2009
Rating:

Adam West Hospitalized

Actor Adam West hospitalized in London after a stoned Ozzy Osbourne attempts to bite his head off!

written by Bureau, 16 April 2009
Rating:

What A Cookie!

In a joint venture, Pepperidge Farm Cookie Division will soon be making and selling sugar cookies in the shape of Angelina Jolie.

written by Bureau, 16 April 2009
Rating:

Pilots Get Wake Up Call

Pilots prepared to take off from Heathrow with 185 passengers unaware jet was on fire, tail section had fallen off and over 50 wild geese sitting on the right wing.

written by Bureau, 16 April 2009
Rating:

"Cheer Up You Buggers!"

'It's time people stopped being so darned pessimistic', says Mandy in cheer-up call to voters, despite having the famous Obama smile.

written by Bureau, 16 April 2009
Rating:

Top Tory Not Charged Over Leaks

Jacqui Smith on the rack again as it's announced top Tory will NOT be charged over Home Office leaks, providing he return hospital urinal bottle.

written by Bureau, 16 April 2009
Rating:

Electric Cars Plugged By Government

Motorists will be offered subsidies of up to £5,000 to encourage them to purchase electric cars under the plans announced by the government today, in yet another plug to reduce carbons.

written by Bureau, 16 April 2009
Rating:

Russia Against Exercises

Russia has asked NATO to cancel or at least postpone military exercises that it plans to hold in Georgia next month. French troops plan to do combined 100,000 push-ups.

written by Bureau, 16 April 2009
Rating:

Little Pirate In All Of Us

Somalia Piracy is a symptom of a bigger problem, say experts. It starts out small like trying to get free cable off your neighbor's house, gas from his car, points from dumb news snippets.

written by Bureau, 16 April 2009
Rating:

Sigmund Freud's Grandson Dies

Broadcaster and former Liberal MP Sir Clement Freud, grandson of Sigmund Freud, has died at 84 of something that was no doubt related to sex and the human mind in some way or other.

written by Bureau, 16 April 2009
Rating:

Sea Captain In Kenya

The US sea captain that was held hostage by Somali pirates for five days has arrived in Kenya and been officially greeted by 197 of President Obama's half-brothers & sisters.

written by Bureau, 16 April 2009
Rating:

Russia Ends Search

Russia has ended its decade-long "counter-terrorism operation" of finding separatist rebels in the southern republic of Chechnya, officials say. "They're there, alright."

written by Bureau, 16 April 2009
Rating:

Search On For Cleo's Tomb, Comb

Egypt to search three sites for Cleopatra's comb. I'm sorry, Egypt to comb three sites for Cleopatra's tomb.

written by Bureau, 16 April 2009
Rating:

Greenpeace vindicated

Japanese whale research fleet admitted it was Somali Pirates and not Greenpeace that were responsible for this years poor returns.

written by Exislanda, 16 April 2009
Rating:

"Oh, Dominos"

A gross video posted on YouTube showing a Domino's Pizza worker stuffing cheese up his nostril & waving salami under his rear end as he is making sandwiches funny after you throw up, states customers.

written by Bureau, 16 April 2009
Rating:

General Bankruptcy

General Growth files for bankruptcy protection. General Motors, General Mills, General Public apparently not far behind.

written by Bureau, 16 April 2009
Rating:

Snakes On Plane

Baby pythons escape during flight in Australia. Pilot tells passengers not to panic. They're only three feet long.

written by Bureau, 16 April 2009
Rating:

Obama To Mexico

President Obama heads to Mexico seeking asylum,as drug violence looms, yesterday's "Boston Tea Parties" stirring everyone up.

written by Bureau, 16 April 2009
Rating:

JP Morgan: Mixed Result

JP Morgan Chase posts better-than-expected profit, made a dollar, two ninety-eight during Spring Equinox. (Somebody's drunk over there. Probably went totally under.)

written by Bureau, 16 April 2009
Rating:

Gordon Brown has been heavily criticised for the resent smears.

But he said his handwriting always looks like that.

written by Roy Turse, 16 April 2009
Rating:

"Wild in the Country"

Anabella Lwin to re-release Bow-Wow-Wow's 1st hit single to coincide with 1st Dog, Bo Wo Wo Obama's 1st trip to Camp David.

written by Exislanda, 16 April 2009
Rating:

Tyranosaurus Ate My Leg

A woman is suing the Natural History Museum after a T-Rex ate her leg. "I know they say this is where history comes to life," she said, "but letting the buggers run around unsupervised is ridiculous!"

written by Sonny Spitfire, 16 April 2009
Rating:

Man Found In Jelly

A woman was shocked to find a man's body suspended in the jelly layer of her ASDA raspberry trifle. "I've heard of people finding hair or fingernails in their food, but a full sized man?" she said.

written by Sonny Spitfire, 16 April 2009
Rating:

Bailout for Alpo: TARP funds save petfoods

On his first announcement from the Dog House, Bo Wo Wo Obama (America's first black '1st Dog'), made $1T available to ailing Big 3 pet food manufacturers.

written by Exislanda, 16 April 2009
Rating:

Lilo Sells Beard

Lindsay Lohan is auctioning her beard in a bid to raise money for research into testicular cancer. "It's a bit itchy but it's worth it to help save lives" the star was quoted as saying.

written by Sonny Spitfire, 16 April 2009
Rating:

Barney clashes with Bo over First Pet status

"He's re-marking my territory! I pissed on those desks and paintings first!"

written by Jalapenoman, 16 April 2009
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