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Rating:

Shop Teacher Dismissed

Shop teacher at Pennsylvania high school dismissed after he had everyone in class build their own personal hangman's scaffold.

written by Bureau, 12 April 2009
Rating:

Churchill Downs Ready

Churchill Downs crew have built a special horse carrier that looks like an ice cream truck in case another horse dies during the Derby this year.

written by Bureau, 12 April 2009
Rating:

Kentuckian Cracks

Bowling Green, Kentucky man shoots up office after office personnel refer to him all week as Alexander McPinkslip.

written by Bureau, 12 April 2009
Rating:

One Pirate Survived During Rescue

Three pirates killed as U.S. Captain is rescued. One pirate injured in swift firefight, keelhauling.

written by Bureau, 12 April 2009
Rating:

Happy Birthday To The Earth

The Earth is 4.6 billion years old. Or 3 billion years older than the combined ages of Cloris Leachman, John McCain, Phyllis Diller, Mickey Mouse, and The Rolling Stones.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 12 April 2009
Rating:

The World's Smallest Owl

The smallest owl in the world is the Peruvian Pygmy Owl. A full grown adult is the size of a number 2 pencil eraser or a Pamela Anderson nipple.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 12 April 2009
Rating:

The Spider Known As Betty

The oldest living spider in the world is Betty, who resides at the Tijuana Zoo. She is 87, and she still has all of her faculties. Betty, however does get around with the aid of a walker.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 12 April 2009
Rating:

The Aussie's Are Going Ban Crazy

Australia is getting ready to implement a ban on incandescent bulbs. Next the Aussies are planning to ban the practice of high fiveing, boomerang throwing, and smiling.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 12 April 2009
Rating:

The Shortest Gestation Period

The mammal with the shortest gestation period is the Zimbabweian Midget Opossum. Its gestation period is 5 hours and 15 minutes. Which is not that far off of OctuMom's gestation period.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 12 April 2009
Rating:

The South Pole's Original Name

The South Pole was originally known as the Bottom Pole, but the name was changed after The Sisters of St. Abstinence threatened to file a lawsuit.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 12 April 2009
Rating:

Canadan PM Meets Obama

Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper meets with President Barack Obama, admits he was sick and tired of George Bush calling him, "Moose".

written by Bureau, 12 April 2009
Rating:

Elton John Innocent

Elton John has denied that lady friend's baby is his. "I had my tubes tied years ago", claims older rocker.

written by Bureau, 12 April 2009
Rating:

Pakistan Helps UK

Pakistan promises UK help on Pakistani terrorist's arrested by sending portfolios on 172,800,048 other possible Pakistani terrorists.

written by Bureau, 12 April 2009
Rating:

Suicide-Bomber Leads Protest

Suicide-bomber in Baghdad, Iraq leads protests by blowing up himself and twelve other suicide-bombers before they leave for their suicide-bombing missions.

written by Bureau, 12 April 2009
Rating:

Somali Hijack Italian Boat, Overrun France

Somali pirates have hijacked a tugboat in the Gulf of Aden with 16 crew members on board, 10 of them Italians as another group take over France.

written by Bureau, 12 April 2009
Rating:

Obama's Brother Refused UK Entrance

Barack Obama's half-brother was denied entry to the UK after being accused of a serious crime on an earlier visit, the Home Office has confirmed. "But Bro wasn't president then", says Samson Obama.

written by Bureau, 12 April 2009
Rating:

UN Takes Drastic Measures

Key UN countries have agreed a draft statement condemning North Korea's rocket launch, diplomats say. "I know it's a drastic measure", says Secretary General. "But we must act now."

written by Bureau, 12 April 2009
Rating:

Politics Can Actually Be Negative

E-mails discussing smearing top Tories that led to the resignation of a senior Number 10 official have been published. Sounds like politics as usual to most.

written by Bureau, 12 April 2009
Rating:

Shining Path: Yada Yada Yada

Peru's Shining Path rebels have killed 13 soldiers in the south-east of the country, the country's defense minister says. Otherwise they say they can't get a word in edgewise in worldwide mess!

written by Bureau, 12 April 2009
Rating:

Somali Leaders May Help

Somali elders have launched a fresh attempt to resolve the standoff between the US navy and pirates holding an American captain hostage in a lifeboat. May hold eBay auction.

written by Bureau, 12 April 2009
Rating:

Chinese Leader: Economy Improving

The Chinese premier says their economy is improving and stares down anyone who attempts to challenge his words.

written by Bureau, 12 April 2009
Rating:

Obamas Choose Pet

The Obamas pick a 6-month-old Portuguese Water Dog for White House pet. The Water Dog just edges out a cute New Guinea Fire-breathing Fido.

written by Bureau, 12 April 2009
Rating:

Were Pirates Mocked?

FBI to question US crew in criminal piracy probe to see what they might have done to draw the attention and anger a normally peaceful people.

written by Bureau, 12 April 2009
Rating:

Tornado A Category Seven

The National Weather Bureau along with The Weather Channel have announced the recent outbreak of tornadoes a Category Seven On the Freight Train List!

written by Bureau, 12 April 2009
Rating:

Obama Rounding Up Sunday School Teachers

Town rocked by arrest of Sunday school teacher as President Obama orders all Sunday school teachers rounded up and searched. May call Seventh Day Adventists next.

written by Bureau, 12 April 2009
Rating:

Conflicker Worms Hit

The Conficker worm hits the University of Utah computers. Farmer's Almanac calls it the sign of a hard summer.

written by Bureau, 12 April 2009
Rating:

First Attack: Lead

Decision to use cheap Chinese drywall is haunting U.S. homeowners who are concerned that it gives off fumes that can corrode pipes, blacken jewelry and sicken people. Chinese plot next attack.

written by Bureau, 12 April 2009
Rating:

Cow Gas Bringing Doom

Cows With Gas: India's contribution to global warming in cows is larger than autos they block. U.N meets to discuss shipping large supplies of Beano.

written by Bureau, 12 April 2009
Rating:

Not Too Endangered Yet

Conservationists have discovered a new population of orangutans in a remote, mountain of Indonesia - perhaps as many as 200,000 - giving a rare boost to one of the world's most endangered great apes.

written by Bureau, 12 April 2009
Rating:

U.S. Warns Pirates

United States ships, choppers, shadow hostage captain, pirates. Warn that they may be forced to drop water balloons.

written by Bureau, 12 April 2009
Rating:

The Brazilian Nut Shortage

Brazil announces that due to the Brazilian nut shortage, they will have to import some nuts from North Korea.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 12 April 2009
Rating:

The Smallest Star In The World

NASA scientists have just discovered what they believe to be the smallest star in existence. The star which is a little bit smaller than a grain of salt has been named Alpha Mortons.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 12 April 2009
Rating:

Paula Abdul The Refinancing Judge

Paula Abdul is being forced to refinance her house, Casa Touchdown. She told a reporter that it's all due to her addiction to jewelry and the fact that the price has skyrocketed.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 12 April 2009
Rating:

The Milky Wayward

Galaxy scientists said that the Milky Way which was originally believed to contain 300 billion stars actually only contains a little over 299 billion.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 12 April 2009
Rating:

A Thousand and Two Islands

The largest island in the world is Greenland. The lonliest island in the world is Dick Cheney.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 12 April 2009
« Mar 2009 April 2009 May 2009 »
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52
2nd
63
3rd
57
4th
49
5th
48
6th
54
7th
62
8th
47
9th
47
10th
46
11th
31
12th
35
13th
31
14th
44
15th
45
16th
50
17th
43
18th
40
19th
19
20th
35
21st
40
22nd
57
23rd
54
24th
47
25th
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26th
44
27th
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28th
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29th
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30th
59
 

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